The Arcturus Man

  “Wake up sleepy head. Time to get dressed for dinner,” said Jared.

  Jenny wiped the sleep from her eyes. She had been crying and the tears had crusted on her lashes. Was this another dream? Then she saw him.

  “JARED! JARED! YOU’RE SAFE.” She screamed and jumped out of the hammock. She rushed into his arms.

  “My goodness. You look like an authentic Kuna girl.

  She hugged him and squeezed him as hard as she possible could. Then she took a quick step back and punched him in the arm, hard.

  “You jerk. You could have warned me you were back,” said Jenny. Jared just rolled his eyes.

  He hadn’t shaved for days. His clothes were in shreds and the olive drab now looked black and filthy. All the leather on him was completely green. His hair was shorn to a buzz cut—there was barely any left. His machete dangled from his web belt. His leather and canvas boots looked like someone had scoured them with a Brillo pad.

  “So how does all this stuff come apart?” He started pulling on her blouse. She slapped his hand away.

  “You’ve been bad. You don’t get to do that.” But then she pulled him to her mouth and kissed him as hard as she could. She let him unwrap just a little bit. Jared was very loving and tender—much more than usual. He persisted.

  “No. This isn’t very private Jared,” she said.

  “We can find a private place,” he said. He took her hand and led her back to the house.

  “They’re gone for a while. I didn’t have to ask. Jose and Zobeida are very thoughtful people,” he said.

  “They have a lot of kids. I guess they know something,” she said.

  She helped him off with his clothes.

  “You’re not wearing any underwear. Really! That is gross Jared. Wow! Little Jared needs a shower.”

  “The greatest risk in a tropical rain forest is infection. Anything that chafes and rubs can be deadly. It is much safer without underwear.”

  Jenny tried to imagine herself in the jungle without underwear. She couldn’t see it. No way!

  His wounds from the attack on Eagle’s Head were now only patches of pink skin. She traced the largest wound with her finger. She thought that there was nothing that could surprise any more, but Jared kept surprising her. He was positively amazing. She looked at his body closely as he changed clothes. No new wounds. Nothing! She didn’t notice where the snake had bitten him.

  “We better get washed up and dressed,” said Jared.

  Jenny started to pull her own clothes out of a chest.

  “Maybe you could stay Kuna—just for a short time.”

  “Sure. Actually I like it very much.”

  “I thought you might.”

  “Idel told me that you infused him with the spirit of language.”

  “Yes, I did. I just helped him along with what he already knew.”

  “Well, thanks. It sounds like a great trick. Too bad you didn’t think to give me the spirit of Spanish.”

  “But I did.”

  “You did what?”

  “I helped you with your Spanish. You had it in high school. It was all there. It just needed some help in coming back to you.”

  “Really?”

  “You have to give it some time. Surely some of it came back to you.”

  “Well, I guess it did…a little. I just thought I was remembering it.”

  “And you did. I just gave it a nudge. It is not magic. You don’t wake up some morning and begin speaking fluent Spanish.”

  Jenny was disappointed. That is exactly what she wanted. She wanted to wake up some morning and be speaking perfect Spanish.

  “When are you going to tell me what happened on the mainland?”

  “Later! For now just be assured that your safe and the bad things are all behind us now. Everything has been taken care of. There is nothing more to be worried about. Absolutely nothing!”

  “You mean people aren’t chasing us any more?”

  “That is exactly what I mean. No one is looking for us here. Even some of the problems back in the States have been cleared up. Can we talk about this later?”

  “You can’t just say later. It isn’t fair. You always say later. I’ve been worried sick about you.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I really am.”

  “Well tell me something, at least.”

  Jared took her arm and they walked out to the beach. They sat down on a fallen palm tree. Jenny looked up to make sure there weren’t any coconuts overhead. Slowly, patiently, Jared told her everything that had happened on the mainland. He explained how the Kuna had saved his life. He told her about the snake bite and showed her the puncture area. He told her about Rubio and how his men didn’t fare well in the rain forest. Colombia and Venezuela have great rain forests so it is easy to make the mistake that people from that region are experts in the jungle. Not true. When Jared drew them into the Panamanian rain forest, they were in constant fear of snakes, alligators, crocodiles, large cats, and even spiders and ants. Luring them into the great Mohinga Swamp couldn’t have been worse for them. The swamp extended for four hundred square miles of waste-deep water with only small patches of dry land here and there. At night it was as dark as any place on the planet.

  “Aren’t we going to be late for dinner with Idel?” asked Jenny.

  “Don’t worry. Time isn’t measured the same way here as in the States. No one will think we’re late.”

  Jenny listened intently. She didn’t stop him to ask questions. He told her everything…every detail.

  “You said that everything is behind us now. But then you said that no one will be looking for us…here. That was waffling Jared. Are people still looking for you somewhere else?” she asked.

  “The men who sent the Colombian, Rubio, still need to be dealt with. That part isn’t over, but it is different now. No one is going to be hunting for me. I think I know who they are and I can deal with it. Trust me just a little longer,” he said.

  Jenny was crestfallen. She closed her eyes and then opened them slowly.

  “Then it’s not over. It’s not over at all,” she said.

  “It will be…soon…but you’re out of it now. I don’t want you to be in danger any longer. I’ll take it from here on…and put an end to this once and for all,” he said.

  “They’re still going to come for me to get to you.”

  “No, they won’t. They’ll be able to find me. They won’t need you. I’ll make sure of that and I’ll end it before they can do anything,” he said.

  She didn’t believe it. It wasn’t over. It wasn’t ever going to be over. She was right.

  .

  Chapter Twenty-Four – Mary Thomas

  A small frail black woman is sitting on the trunk of a fallen palm. She is less than five feet in height but she isn’t a dwarf. She is wearing a faded black dress, framed around the neck with yellowed old lace. At one time it was a beautiful black velvet dress but the nap wore away a long time ago. A plain gold wedding band gleams on her finger. She holds out her hand from time to time to see the ring glint in the sun. She is remembering. Her hair is white, whiter than the lace. Her face is fractured by hundreds of lines and creases. She is beautiful. Her name is Mary Thomas. She has had many names and this one suits her now.

  She slowly opens a heavily creased brown paper sack and takes out a small carton of milk. The hot afternoon sun beating on the chilled milk carton has formed condensation on the carton that is dripping on her paper sack. She wipes it off with a small embroidered handkerchief. Water can do a lot of damage to a paper bag, especially a very old one. The paper is waxed so it didn’t soak in much. She balanced half of a sandwich wrapped in plastic on her knee. She sits and she listens and she watches.

  A group of children are playing beneath a grove of palm trees just a few feet away. They found a colorful land crab.

  “Cardisoma guanhumi,” she says to herself. She anointed the crab with its true name.

  She can barely make it ou
t through the grey film over her tired eyes, but it seems to be a truly marvelous crab. It is bright orange with large patches of cobalt blue. One of the children kicks sand on her small patent leather shoe. The boy doesn’t apologize. She doesn’t mind. She loves watching children even though they ignore her. The very young don’t like to see the very old if they can help it. It is unimaginable to children that they could ever become that old.

  She pokes and pokes a straw into the milk carton but it just won’t give way.

  “Here let me do that for you,” said Jared as he sits down besides her.

  “Thank you kindly, Jared.”

  The children are trying to feed the crab but all it wants is to run away and hide.

  “Kindness not noticed is kindness not done,” said Mary Thomas.

  Jared glances behind the old woman.

  “It took you quite some time to come over here and sit with me. Yes, I have a shadow. And look, there is sand on my shoe. Ghosts wouldn’t have these things. Of course, if I am your delusion—as you think I may be—you’re smart enough to have provided me with a shadow.”

  Jared frowns.

  “My Goodness! If I’m not a ghost, what else can I be? You’re not sure about God and you certainly don’t believe in religion so I can’t be an angel. I can’t be a demon for the same reasons. Right? Perhaps I am a friend from a long time ago or maybe in the far future.”

  “Why the games, Mary Thomas? Why don’t you just tell me who you are, what your are? What you want?”

  “It wouldn’t serve you to make anything easy. It never does. All good things in this world are hard—not easy. I am not going to make it easy for you. And, I am not going away.”

  “If I did I know who you are I obviously wouldn’t be asking. What is your full name? All I could get was Mary Thomas,” said Jared.

  “Mary Thomas is a nice name. It will do. And don’t think nonsense,” said Mary Thomas. ‘You’re not the only one who knows what people are thinking—sometimes at least.”

  The children glance up at them. The girls giggle but the boys seem to be annoyed. They resume their game with the land crab.

  “Can you walk? Let’s go someplace private and talk,” said Jared.

  “Take my arm. Of course I can walk. I may be old but I am not yet entirely decrepit,” said Mary Thomas.

  They stand. Jared gathers her milk and paper bag in one hand and gently holds her arm. They walk away toward the waters edge.

  “Slowly, young man. These shoes aren’t right for sand. Wouldn’t you know that.”

  “Would it be better if you took them off? I’ll carry them for you.”

  “I’m just fine. Walking suits me and my shoes will go where I go.”

  They walked along the water’s edge where the sand was still wet and packed from the receding tide. It was easier for Mary Thomas to walk here.

  “My, my, isn’t it just a beautiful day. What do you think Jared? Isn’t it a marvelous day?”

  “I don’t suppose there is any point to ask how you got here.”

  Mary Thomas said nothing.

  “What did you think about that little boy who tried to save Jenny? The poor little boy,” said Mary Thomas.

  “What about him?” asked Jared?

  “Now didn’t I just ask you something?”

  “He was a brave boy,” said Jared.

  “What do you think about that little boy? I’ll keep asking until you tell me.”

  “It was a foolish thing to do. It was of no help in saving Jenny and it cost him his leg.”

  “Saying that he was brave was insincere, wasn’t it?”

  “No, he was brave, but it was futile and foolhardy.”

  “What should the little boy have done then? Would it have been smarter to have done nothing, considering that his act of bravery really had not contributed to protecting Jenny? But is that really true? Had the little boy not been there, what might have happened? Did you think about that? But he was a stupid little boy, wasn’t he?”

  “Why are we talking about the boy? What do you want me to say?”

  “Why are you avoiding telling me what you really think? Of course, I know what you are thinking. I just want to hear you say it. You believe that he was stupid. Isn’t that true?”

  “Yes, it was a stupid thing to do.”

  “Thank you. Wrong and heartless, but thank you for being honest. Now let’s stick with the truth from now on.”

  Jared looked back.

  “And, yes, I leave tracks in the sand. What do you think? I float?”

  This time Jared frowned harder.

  “How did you get here, Mary Thomas?”

  “You asked me that before. I’m not senile and I am not going to tell you that.”

  “Why don’t you just tell me? Why is it a game? Not communicating isn’t rational.”

  “It is very rational. I can’t live your life for you. You have to make your own decisions and draw your own conclusions. You have to tend your own garden, Jared. If I say too much you will be tempted to have me make your decisions for you. That will not happen.”

  “Then there’s no point to this, is there?”

  “You suspect that I am a delusion. I am not saying that I am, but let’s suppose for a minute that this is true. If I am a delusion, then you are putting all of the words in my mouth, aren’t you?”

  “You are intent on frustrating me,” said Jared.

  “No, not at all. But I can understand why you would feel that way. You aren’t accustomed to situations that you don’t completely understand. It makes you feel insecure.”

  “This is pointless,” said Jared.

  “Jared, there hasn’t been anyone like you for a very long time. Many who were born like you didn’t survive or didn’t have children. And, remember, not all of your children will inherit all of your abilities.”

  Jared ignored that comment. He was not going to have children.

  “You are going to have children, Jared,” said Mary Thomas.

  Jared was not going to respond to that.

  “How many that did survive committed suicide?” asked Jared.

  “Yes, there is that, isn’t there? Quite a few. Quite a few.”

  “Well, that’s just peachy,” said Jared.

  “Don’t talk nonsense. I’m smart too. What a silly word. Peachy,” said Mary Thomas.

  “I’m not very smart right now. I don’t feel very smart.”

  “Really?”

  “I know you like Nietzsche. Recite Thus Spoke Zarathustra from the beginning. The German would be nice.”

  “This is ridiculous,” said Jared.

  “You can’t do it?”

  “Fine!” and Jared started:

  Als Zarathustra dreißig Jahre alt war, verließ er seine Heimat und den See seiner Heimat und ging is das Gebirge. Hier Genoß er seines Geites und seiner Einsamkeit und wurde dessen zehn Jahre nicht müde. Endlich aber verwandelte sich sein Herz,--und eines Morgens stand er mit der Morgenröte auf, trat vor die Sonne hin und sprach zu ihr also: “Du großes Gestirn! Was wäre dein Glück, wenn du nich die hättest, welchen du leuchtest!”

  “That’s enough,” said Mary Thomas. “What’s your point?”

  “The point is that you are immensely lonely. Didn’t you understand Zarathustra?

  Couldn’t you find the answer? We both know that you have suicidal thoughts now and then. I understand how you feel. I really do! It is like seeing the most spectacular meteor shower ever witnessed on earth but if you are the only one who sees it, it has less value. It is like understanding the most perfect relationship in numbers that no one else can comprehend. The loneliness must be terrible to bear.”

  “I don’t get lonely.”

  “Stop talking nonsense. Who do you think you’re talking to?

  “I wish I knew,” said Jared.

  “Stop talking nonsense,” said Mary Thomas.

  “Fine! OK! I live in a world in which I don’t belong. I care about nothing.” “My, my, so pess
imistic, but venting is good. And what about Jenny? Isn’t she

  important to you?”

  “Yes….Of course…I don’t know. I don’t know what she is to me? It feels good

  to be with her but it’s not enough. I don’t understand what I am supposed to feel about

  her. She doesn’t really know who I am. I can’t share what I see…I can’t share that spectacular meteor shower…not what I know…with her or anyone. She could never see what

  I can see. My feelings for her are entirely programmed. It’s chemistry. It is just chemistry. It isn’t anything I can’t control,” said Jared.

  “You have to overcome this obstacle, Jared. You are going to have to learn how

  to deal with those things in life that you can’t fully comprehend. Jenny loves you and she

  wants to have children.”

  “I can’t imagine having children.”

  “No, I don’t expect you can. But that is true for any man before he has children.

  You aren’t special in that regard. It is a great responsibility that is difficult to prepare for.

  It is going to take a leap of faith. You’re not very good at faith.”

  “I don’t belong in this world, Mary Thomas. You know that. What if a child of

  mine is born just like me. I don’t want him, or her, to face the same torments that I have

  endured…that I endure every day.”

  They both walked for a long time without talking.

  “Jared, get a pet. A cat would be good.”

  Jared stopped abruptly and just stared at her. Then he spoke.

  “Don’t talk to me like a child. I don’t appreciate it.”

  Do you understand why a cat does things cats do? Do you think that if a cat licks

  its anus its disgusting. Doesn’t sound very sanitary, does it? It’s sort of disgusting for

  humans. Or maybe it isn’t as bad as we may think—as cats go, that is. Of course a cat

  wouldn’t do that if it had the intelligence of man and maybe fingers to hold things, but

  since it doesn’t, licking its butt may be a very good thing for a cat to do. We humans tend

  to judge everything from our own narrow perspective. Perhaps we shouldn’t judge. We

  are extremely poor at objectivity. Humans have no capacity to understand a cat.?” “Cats! Pets! If you don’t have anything useful to talk about, let’s just stop now.” “You are so different from anyone else in this world, Jenny included, you can’t