If he could be killed in a freak car accident, what chance did Rick Jenner have of surviving his world much longer? He willingly put himself in danger every time he climbed onto that truck.
To her chagrin Andrea was strongly attracted to him. His sensual appeal reached down to the deepest part of her, bringing her alive again after more than a year. She was so vulnerable right now, it was frightening. If he came near her again, intuition told her a man like him could become an addiction.
But what could be worse than getting into a relationship with a firefighter? She’d wait for him to come back to her after his shift was over, fearing that if he was late, she’d learn he’d died.
The fact that she’d turned on the radio to find out about the fire proved how anxious she was about his welfare already. He’d admitted his wife hadn’t liked it. What wife could, unless she were a police officer or a firefighter herself?
Memories of the accident assailed her. We’re sorry, Mrs. Fleming. Your husband didn’t make it.
Andrea was sorry she’d met Captain Jenner, and prayed she’d never see him again. By the time she reached the house, she was convulsed in tears that made no sense. For months now she’d been trying to build a new life. Now suddenly he’d come along with that darling daughter of his, reminding her of what she’d lost and what she could never have. It was his fault she was falling apart.
* * *
Rick had promised to watch the Christmas special with Tessa as soon as he got home. Wishing his mind wasn’t still on Andrea, he entered his house and added his gift for Sharon to the growing pile of presents beneath the tree.
Tina’s parents had brought their gifts over early. Too many gifts. His own parents’ presents would come later, in moderation. Tessa looked at the wrapped presents every day while she waited impatiently for Santa to come. Rick had hidden any gifts he’d bought for her in the basement along with the big present. They’d come out of hiding on Christmas morning.
He would have to work the afternoon shift that day, but the following day he had off to spend the day with Tina’s parents, who lived in Providence, and then they would all be getting together. His parents and one of his married brothers who lived in nearby Cranston would drop by and then spend New Year’s with him and Tessa at the house.
“Rick? Is that you?”
Sharon always said that. She had radar for ears, which was a good thing to keep them all safe. Rick thought of her as the rock who stabilized his world and Tessa’s. There was no finer woman anywhere. What would he have done without her?
“I’m home. Where’s the cutest little girl in the entire world?”
“I’m here, Daddy.” She came running into the living room in her princess pajamas and dived into his arms, smelling sweet from her bath. He kissed her, loving this child who made his life worth living. “I’ve been waiting for you. Come in the family room. We’re watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas. Sharon made us popcorn.”
“I can’t wait!” He carried her through and sat down on the couch in front of the TV. Rick kept her on his lap while they munched and laughed. There was something touching about Charlie Brown, who’d picked out the only real tree for their Christmas play. But the dog’s crazy antics as he danced on the piano brought down the house for his daughter.
“He’s so funny. I wish I had a Snoopy shirt like that lady at the shop.”
Rick remembered the way she’d looked in it. Tonight he’d gone back to get Sharon’s gift. And to take another look at Andrea. If he hadn’t given in to temptation, he might have been all right.
Who are you kidding, Jenner?
The whole time he was telling himself to stay away, he found himself entering her shop so he could feast his eyes on her in that stunning outfit she’d worn to the station. She’d produced such a sensation with the guys, he was afraid he’d never hear the end of it.
He moaned inwardly as memories of Tina passed through his mind to conflict him. But not enough to stop him from wanting to see her.
The inevitable guilt had passed. If he had to see the psychiatrist again, it would be for some other problem, because Rick had gone back to the shop when it hadn’t been necessary. He’d needed to see her again and had used any excuse to drop by.
“Before I forget, Deanna called here today and has invited you to a Christmas party on Saturday night after you get off work.”
“Benton mentioned it to me at the fire scene. It will all depend on my shift ending on time.” He really didn’t want to go. “Right now it’s time for this young lady to get to bed. Let’s go get your teeth brushed, then I’ll read you a Mrs. Piggle Wiggle story.”
Between Tina and Rick, they must have read the little stories to her a hundred times. Tina’s mother had given the books to Tessa. He knew it made Tessa feel closer to her mother.
“Good night, Sharon.”
“Good night, cutie.”
“Thanks for everything,” Rick murmured. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
“Sure you could.” But she said it with misty eyes.
* * *
“Mom?” Andrea had just finished putting some more inventory out on the floor. “What are you doing here this morning?”
“I thought I’d get to work on the bills. Come in the back and have a bagel when you get a minute.”
“I’m through now. You’re a lifesaver!” The weather had turned freezing and gloomy. She was glad for the company. To her shock she’d been brooding over the firefighter who refused to leave her thoughts day or night.
Furious with herself for being this vulnerable, Andrea sat down with her mother, who’d made them coffee, too. “I’m afraid this cold front is keeping the customers away till later in the day.”
“It felt like Siberia on the way over here.”
She eyed her mom. “I can tell something’s on your mind. What is it?”
“Your father called me late last night.”
“Don’t tell me Monica has left him again.”
Her mother nodded.
“Didn’t she do this last Christmas?”
They both chuckled. “Yes.” Thank goodness her mom could laugh about it. She’d fallen out of love years ago. For a long time Andrea had prayed her mother would meet someone wonderful and worthy of her. He would have to be terrific.
“I hope you got off the phone fast.”
“I did. He’s driving in to Providence and wants to see you.”
“Thank you for warning me, but what do you bet he doesn’t?” Following her remark, they both heard the Christmas chimes.
“Maybe that’s your father now.”
“I don’t think so. He’d call first.” She got up from the desk. “I can’t believe anyone ventured out in this.” As she walked into the front of the store, Tessa Jenner came in accompanied by an older woman.
Andrea was delighted to see her. “Hello, Tessa.”
“Hello.” Her cheeks were rosy from the cold.
“What can I do for you on this wintry morning?”
A pair of green eyes looked up at her, reminding Andrea of Tessa’s father. “We came to buy Daddy a Christmas present before I have to go to school. It’s a secret.”
“Well, how exciting!”
The older woman smiled. “I’m Mrs. Milne. I take care of Tessa.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Andrea.”
“Tessa begged me to bring her here,” the older woman explained.
“I see. What kind of present are you looking for?”
Tessa pointed. “I want to buy that nutcracker over there on the shelf.”
“Which one? There are five of them.”
“The one with the gold crown and the cape. He has black hair and looks like Daddy.”
Tessa had to have noticed him the first time she came into
the shop. Andrea reached for the sixteen-inch-tall nutcracker and brought it down. “Do you know something? You’re right. He does kind of look like your daddy. This one is King Arthur. A great king. Come over to the counter. I’ll get a box and wrap it for you.”
“Thanks.”
While Mrs. Milne handed her a credit card, those innocent eyes staring out of an angelic face looked up at Andrea. “Where’s my gingerbread man? He’s not in the window. Can I hold him again?”
Uh-oh. “He’s not here anymore, remember?” She smiled at her.
But Tessa’s lower lip started to quiver. She was about to cry. “Where is he?”
It appeared Tessa hadn’t understood what Andrea meant.
Was this the real reason the little girl had asked the housekeeper to bring her to the shop? Her heart had been set on him. Andrea had to think fast as she handed the woman her package and credit card. “One of Santa’s elves came for it.” That was as much as she dared tell her.
She expected a smile, but Tessa’s face screwed up in pain. “No, he didn’t.” Her response took Andrea back. “My daddy didn’t mail my letter to Santa yet. It’s still home. My gingerbread man is gone! You promised Santa would bring it to me for Christmas!” She broke down in heart-wrenching tears and hugged Mrs. Milne’s legs. Andrea felt as if she’d been stabbed in the heart.
“I’m sorry.” Andrea mouthed the words to the other woman, feeling helpless to do anything.
The housekeeper nodded in understanding. “We’d better go.” She led a desolate Tessa out the door.
After they left the shop, Andrea looked at her mother in anguish. “I didn’t know what to say to her. Mr. Jenner is giving it to her for Christmas. I already made one mistake with him and didn’t want to make another for fear I’d give away his surprise.”
“Don’t worry about it. She’ll get over it when she finds it on Christmas morning. I must say she’s about the cutest little girl I ever saw in my life. Except for you,” she added. “No wonder you wanted her to have that gingerbread man. It was meant for a child like that.”
“I agree, but she was really devastated.”
“When you were her age, you had a few meltdowns, too.”
“I probably did, but this seemed different. She believes I lied to her.”
“Honey, you know children.”
“Actually I don’t, Mom. I won’t ever know them, since I can’t have one of my own. After this incident it’s probably just as well, since it appears I’m not so great in that department.”
“Andrea—”
“It’s true.”
Her hope for a family wasn’t meant to be. She wasn’t destined to be a wife and mother, and she needed to get over her self-pity. Thankfully more customers entered the store, keeping her too distracted to wallow in her deepest emotional wants for the time being.
After lunch Andrea was showing her newest customer a music box when the chimes sounded. As she glanced up and saw Tessa’s striking father, she clung to the edge of the display table for support. He wore a forest-green crewneck sweater beneath his black bomber jacket. The lines bracketing his hard mouth led her to believe he was upset. It enlarged the pit in her stomach left from his distraught daughter’s visit earlier in the day.
He wandered around the shop inspecting the merchandise until she was alone once more, then approached her. “I heard what happened here this morning,” he said without preamble. “Sharon admitted she’d brought Tessa to the shop to get me a gift—she’d had no idea what was going to happen.”
Andrea took a quick breath. “Is Tessa all right now?”
“She’s fine. I had a talk with her and explained Santa already knew what she wanted without a letter.”
“Did that satisfy her?”
“Enough for her to go to school this afternoon. I’m sorry she made things uncomfortable for you.”
“She was the one who was upset. I didn’t want her to think I’d lied to her.”
“I appreciate you keeping my secret. Sadly, Tessa has gotten her way too often when she wants something. It’s a habit I’m trying to curtail.”
Andrea shook her head. “I didn’t help when I took matters into my own hands the other day to grant her wish. Forgive me. It’ll teach me not to do anything like that again.”
His dark brows rose. “You couldn’t have known the struggle I’ve been having, and it is Christmas after all, as you reminded me that first day.” His comment relieved her. “Right after Tina died, I’m afraid I indulged her too much. So did both sides of the family, but my wife’s in particular.”
“Naturally everyone is still grieving.”
“True, but I finally recognized that giving in to her at every turn wouldn’t make the pain go away and was setting a negative precedent for the future.”
“You sound like a very responsible parent doing the job of two on your own.”
“I’m trying, but I learned quickly that I can’t be the mom.” No. That job was given out to the very luckiest of women. “My housekeeper helps with that.”
Andrea smiled. “While I floundered, she handled Tessa very well at the shop.”
“Sharon said she was impressed you thought of the elf idea.”
“It was a stretch.”
Stillness enveloped them both while he studied her intently. “I don’t see a ring on your finger, so I presume you’re single.”
“Yes.” She fought not to show emotion. “My husband was killed in a car accident fourteen months ago. Like you and your wife, we thought we had a whole lifetime together.”
More silence, then, “That’s tragic.” The compassion in his voice got to her.
“Yes,” she said, followed by the first thing that came into her mind. “If you’ve come by to pay me for those gifts, your effort has been in vain.”
“I already got that message at the station,” he said in a grating voice. “One of my reasons for being here is to thank you properly. You’ve convinced me there really is a Santa Claus.”
“If I could do that to a man of your age, then I’m convinced miracles really do happen.”
His dark brows quirked. “A man of my age?”
“You’re older than ten, right?” He chuckled. “What’s the other reason you came in?”
He shifted his weight. “My closest friends have invited me to a Christmas get-together tomorrow night. If you’re not busy after work, would you like to come with me?”
His invitation excited and dismayed her at the same time. “I’m afraid I can’t, but thank you.”
“You already have plans with the person who took you out of town?”
Her mother must have told him. “That’s not it. I went to visit one of my best girlfriends at Barrow’s Lake. She’s been having a bad time lately. We’re planning a Christmas Eve party for our other friend who’s on her second honeymoon right now. When she gets back, they’re going to renew their wedding vows. I was hoping that in making plans, it would cheer up my friend.”
“Did it help?”
“I don’t think so.” And all the trip had done for Andrea was make her realize she was in a depression and needed to climb out of it.
“I used to water-ski there from time to time when I was in my teens. As I recall, there was an inn.”
“Yes. The Gingerbread Inn. My family went there every summer for years. Casey is staying there right now. It’s where we’re planning the party.”
“I see. You made a quick trip.”
He was too observant for words. “Yes. I didn’t want to leave my mother alone too long.”
“She’s charming.”
“I’ll tell her.” Andrea wished he would leave.
“Is there someone else in your life, then? If so, just tell me.”
His persistence surprised her. “No.
I mean, there isn’t anyone else.”
“But you’re still turning me down.”
“Yes,” she answered in a quiet voice.
“Is it because it’s too soon for you?”
“Yes.” Another monosyllable. She grabbed at the excuse, which wasn’t far from the truth.
“I’m a grown man, as you reminded me earlier, so I’m going to be blunt. If I were to call you up in say a month and ask you out, do you think you would go?”
She sustained his gaze. “I’m afraid not.” Andrea could be blunt, too. She had to be to protect her heart from this man whose chosen career could be cut short in a fire. She couldn’t handle that kind of anguish a second time. She wouldn’t.
“I have to admit it’s refreshing to meet a woman who speaks her mind, even if I don’t like the answer. Maybe we’ll see each other again, Mrs....”
“Fleming.”
If she wasn’t mistaken, she saw a hint of satisfaction light up his eyes. “Even if you didn’t want to know, my friends call me Rick.”
After he left the shop, Andrea was so out of sorts she couldn’t calm down. Once she’d closed up, she made a sandwich and watched TV to get her mind off him, but it didn’t work.
After a restless night in bed she was a wreck. But by morning she refused to feel any more guilt over the way she’d let Rick Jenner know she didn’t intend to go out with him in the future. His dangerous line of work loomed too negatively on the horizon for her to consider getting to know him better.
Andrea was thankful for a busy day that kept her and her mom going nonstop. But when it got to be seven o’clock, she marched her mother to the back door. “You’ll be late for your party at the church if you don’t leave now. I’m sure Rex Medors will be there if he’s back from California.” Andrea so wanted her mother to find someone to share her life.
“I hope so. Now, promise me you’ll come to the house in the morning. We’ll fix a big breakfast and talk.”
“As long as it’s not about Captain Jenner.” Andrea had confided the situation to her mother, who admitted she understood Andrea’s fears. Her mom had agreed that firefighting was a terribly dangerous profession, so enough said about him. “Have a good time with your group.”
Marry Me under the Mistletoe Page 5