by Ellie Hall
She leaned back. “I never properly thanked you for saving my life that first night and for teaching me how to swim.”
“Ordinarily, I’d say that I was just doing my job, but in some ways, I think we both saved each other. In another way, we both taught ourselves some things.”
She nodded and swallowed hard. She was right there with him but she suddenly felt far away. “Blake, I forget exactly where we left off on our game of truth or dare, but it’s time for a truth. Things are getting intense between us.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I want to take it slow, Blake.”
“I’m not known for my patience.”
“Really slow.” Her voice was shaky. Perhaps she was hungry.
“How slow?” His lips kissed a trail along her neck and toward her ear.
“I’m not sure.” The quavering gave way to something solid. A period. Full stop. Signaling the conclusion of a segment in time.
He was nearly to her lips and abruptly stopped. He wasn’t expecting her to end things right then. He imagined a slow, lingering goodbye, one he didn’t have to think about because it was a long way off.
She pressed her lips together.
“By slow do you mean stop?” He stepped back.
Her nod was subtle or perhaps the light breeze ruffled her short hair.
“Blake, all this quiet here has given me a chance to think. A lot. Especially today. I went from a girl with a dream to profess my faith through music and share my heart, to being world famous, to being overwhelmed, exhausted, picked apart, hated, and now unsure about the future of my career. I know there are tons of girls who’d love to be in my shoes, to have a chance at following their passion. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I’m thankful for every opportunity. But it comes at a price: privacy, composure, pressure, sometimes my safety. You don’t want that.”
He didn’t, but he did want her. He knew he couldn’t have both and would never expect her to choose.
“Also, we both have so much baggage. Our pasts. You need to make amends with your family. I have to find a family.” She wrung her hands.
It was true, but he wanted to be her family.
“I’m a person who gives up too easily. I thought I was strong. For a minute, I thought I could withstand this pain, keep my head above water. You’re strong. You don’t want someone like me.”
She was wrong.
“Although I’ve enjoyed our time together. We can’t be together. You’ve done so much for me but I have to leave this paradise. The truth in all the games we’ve played is that this has all been a fantasy.”
The truth was that he cared about her more than he’d realized because with each word spoken, his heart felt like it was detonating. The shrapnel splintering him. The explosion, deafening. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t speak.
“Maybe we were just meant to reconcile. To heal all our old wounds and move on,” she said.
Move on to what?
“I have the three songs I owe my record label. I have to figure out what’s next for me. You have to go see your family. The summer is nearly over.”
She was telling him they were over, their time together through.
As the pain drove itself deeper, he realized that was the goodbye he deserved for deserting her all those years ago. It was what he had coming to him for flirting with women, leading them on, and then disappearing from their lives. He’d never trusted himself to be in a relationship but he realized then that it wasn’t because he was the one who’d walked away as his mother had, but because if he got too close, it would destroy him like it had his father.
Cece had commented that it was ironic he’d fled to the island. No, it was appropriate.
The storm raged in her eyes as she held his gaze, waiting for his response. For a reaction. Anything.
He never wanted to be the one to cause her to question herself or doubt or hurt. He wanted to be everything for her, but it turned out, despite his brawn, his generosity, and his support, he wasn’t enough.
He stepped backward. Not at all sure of his footing. Not sure he could even walk. But he did. He walked away before she could.
Blake walked away and didn’t look back. He walked across the island to the other side where he could be alone. Alone again on the island where he had a purpose, was invisibly involved in people’s lives, in protecting them. He knew the cost of getting too close and it burned inside of him. It crushed him. Destroyed him.
He walked and walked but couldn’t escape his thoughts. They followed him. Taunted him. Reminded him why he’d always be alone.
All that time he claimed not to trust himself, it wasn’t because he was the heartbreaker. Rather, he feared falling in love. He feared his own heart being broken.
He was strong, but not strong enough to withstand losing her.
He dropped into the sand and sat.
The waves ebbed and flowed.
The wind rustled the palm leaves.
The rare seagull cawed into the dark night.
She’d listed all the reasons she claimed they couldn’t be together.
That their lives were too different: she was world-famous and a public figure. He preferred anonymity.
That they both had tragedy in their pasts, old wounds and hurts yet to fully heal, making them vulnerable.
That their families were broken, causing them each their own versions of dysfunction.
That she gave up too easily. That he was strong.
But she was strong. He’d given up too easily.
And if he rearranged the words, those were also the reasons they should be together.
They could balance each other out.
They could support each other to heal.
They could be family for one another.
They could remind the other how strong they were when they felt weak and weary.
It felt awful to be ditched. He shouldn’t have done it to her when she’d reached out all those years ago when his father died, when he thought all he wanted was to be alone. He’d turned his back on his brothers.
Navigating the confusion, the grief, and sadness without a map or a guide was near impossible. He knew that. He’d gotten lost in the murk of loneliness.
She didn’t have to.
He abandoned her the first time. He didn’t fight for his brothers.
He wouldn’t do it again. He’d fight for her. For love.
Chapter 13
Cece
Cece didn’t make it far after Blake walked away. He’d left her feeling shattered, alone. She knew it was time for them to part ways.
She had to contact her manager, let Lauren know about the video, give the new songs to the record label, and straighten things out with her fans—she’d left them in the dark and wanted them to know the truth. She’d once told the paparazzi to get over it and it had inspired the third song she’d written. Get over it was an angsty answer to the haters.
But she picked up the pieces as she’d always done and padded across the beach to where the water met the sand, where she’d waded into the shallows that first day at the resort. At the time, she’d wanted to quiet her thoughts under the water, but really, what if she was just trying to prove something to herself?
As the warm water danced across her manicured toes—her day at the spa had been divine. However, in that quiet space, she couldn’t help but think. It was like she’d watched a slideshow of her life: the early years with her broken family, Serena and her salvaging what they could, being led to God, and singing their way into a new life. Then all that had transpired since then: fame and financial abundance, the freedom to do what she loved, the connection with her fans. Then how it all fell apart when Serena got sick. Then the slideshow got blurry as it clicked closer to the present. She couldn’t help but ponder the direction her life had taken over the course of the summer as the masseuse kneaded the tight muscles of her back, the esthetician treated her face, and the manicurist tidied up her nails. She’d agreed to go
to the resort to stop thinking. To get a break, to give her mind a rest, for peace and quiet.
Instead, she got Blake.
A relaxing sigh came from deep in her chest.
Blake.
Strong, protective, kind. Stubborn, arrogant, and vexing. He was handsome, no, more than handsome. He was generous and supportive. He’d changed. Through the last months, he’d been there for her. Through it all. Sometimes quietly in the background, other times loudly in the forefront. He didn’t turn his back, not once. Until that night.
She’d spent the day going back and forth between reasons to stay or go, to linger in the little fairytale they existed in or return bravely to her real life.
Cecilia.
Blake’s voice, using her full name and his explanation for why, echoed in her mind. He wanted the real version of her. No one had ever told her that. They wanted the wealth, recognition, and lifestyle that was attached to her name. However, that wasn’t who she was. It wasn’t what defined her. Who was she really?
Alone?
Hopeless?
Depressed?
Or brave, faith-filled, and resilient?
She slowly stepped deeper into the water, resolved to return to her life, just as she’d told Blake. She’d make a triumphant comeback. Then as the incoming tide raced after her feet, a new thought floated into her mind. What if she’d retreated to the island not to drown her sorrows, but to learn how to swim?
What if she’d gone underwater only for Blake to rescue her as a lesson? To teach her to allow someone to take care of her for once instead of always being the caretaker. She’d looked after her mother and then her sister. She’d never really let anyone get close enough to look after her.
Then those days in the studio when she felt like she was drowning in tears, what if that was her learning over and over again that even if she was pushed down by a strong wave, she could get back up. She was strong, but help and support were okay too.
Then all those days with Blake at the beach, scuba diving, kissing…what if the lesson was for her to accept happiness and not always fear that it’d dissolve?
She’d learned to swim.
The salty warmth soothed her skin. She stepped farther on the soft, sandy bed as the moon and stars sparkled and reflected off the mirrored surface. The ocean soaked the hem of her shorts as she went deeper, into the dark, into the unknown.
Cece continued past her waist then kicked off the bottom, fanning her arms in front of her as she pedaled her legs, treading water. She was afloat, moving forward. She rolled onto her back and drifted, laughing at the sky, at the ocean, at life.
She returned to her belly and swam in a circle. She was doing it. She was swimming. All on her own. In the ocean. No Blake. No tether.
Dunking under, she didn’t care that she could hardly see or that creatures might be lurking nearby or that a wave might smash down. She could handle whatever came her way.
For a few more minutes, she slowly swam in circles, feeling the embrace of the water, the buoyancy, the freedom.
She closed her eyes and for the first time, there was peace. There was quiet.
“Cecelia.”
Blake’s voice carried to her ears. She liked when he’d used her full name, when he’d used his lips and his daring personality. When he’d showed her that he had her back. He’d said, “I got you, Cecelia,” and he meant it.
Perhaps they’d return to each other again someday. Maybe that was their destiny. To float in and out of each other’s lives whenever they needed to learn a lesson or be reminded of how strong they were. How they knew how to swim even if they felt like they were drowning.
“Cecelia.” It was as though she heard her name again, calling her back to the present, back to land. She slowly got to her feet, finding the sandy bottom. She was ready for whatever came her way.
When she turned back to the shore, the silhouette of a well-muscled man stood in the shallows.
There was no concern written on his features, just determination.
No reprimand on his mouth, just relief.
He wasn’t closed off, rather he stepped into the water as though wanting to sweep her into his arms.
Seeing him there, being with him for all those months, she felt the full force of the connection they’d made, the energy crackling between them, bonding them together. It sparked in the night.
Despite all her reservations, her doubts, and trying to convince herself they shouldn’t be together or try to make it work, they had done so. Her lips lifted slowly into a smile.
“You can swim.” His voice was almost a whisper.
She walked toward him. Her clothing clung to her skin and dripped as the relatively cool night air pebbled her skin. “I may know how to swim, but that doesn’t mean I know where to go or where to swim.”
She instantly melted into his arms. His warmth radiated into her skin as he drew her close.
“I don’t know where to go either, except I know wherever it is I want it to be with you.”
“Me too.” She nuzzled against his chest.
He kissed the top of the new hair growing in on her head. “I’m not above admitting when I’m wrong or asking for directions when I’m lost. I’ll admit that I thought you were a mega diva—”
She giggled. “I thought you were full of yourself.”
“I believed I didn’t need anyone.” The words came out slowly, tentatively as though he was speaking them aloud for the first time.
“I believed I could do it all alone.”
“I didn’t trust myself to be in a relationship because of the commitment, the potential for heartbreak. I was wrong, merely trying to protect myself, not the other way around.” His voice was low.
“I didn’t know who I was so I could never have a real relationship. But I know who I am now. Resilient. Strong. A singer. A survivor. I know who I am and I know what I want. I want you, Blake.”
“Cecelia,” he said softly. “There isn’t anyone else like you. I want you to be mine. Only mine.” His hands squeezed around her waist as he kissed the droplets of water on her forehead.
“When we first met at the resort in Hawk Ridge Hollow, for me, it was love at first sight. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, but looking back, it was the wrong time.”
“But what about now, later?” he asked.
“What about always?”
His lips curled into a smile and his eyes smoldered. “You were right. Once wasn’t enough. But then you said never again. What about we try. In that song, you said not you. What about me? What about us?”
“I like the sound of that.” Her heart swelled inside.
“What about we be each other’s family. I know you were planning on leaving, but how about we take a detour. We can go on vacation.”
“A vacation? But I’ve essentially been on vacation for three months.”
“To visit family. My family. The people I want to be your family. We can go home.”
“To Hawk Ridge Hollow? To your brothers?”
“You’ll never be lonely again,” he said around a laugh.
“Won’t you miss it here?”
“As I said, it’ll just be a vacation.” He threaded his fingers between hers and tipped his head so their noses were practically touching. “Cecelia, you’re in my daydream thoughts. My three a.m. thoughts. You’re there when I’m trying to focus and arrange security for guests and make sure they have all their particular creature comforts from the mainland, including gummy bears.” He winked at her. “You’re there when I sit down at the end of the day to watch the sunset. And… I can’t get you out of my head so I figure I should get you into my life. Because do you want to know the truth? I love you.”
The words were like the warm sea water, penetrating her skin, seeping into her heart.
“Cecelia,” he said. “I dare you to love me too.”
“For this round of truth or dare, all you get is the truth. I love you, Blake. I have since the moment I first saw you.�
� She tilted her head and giggled. “Then I kind of hated you. Then I loved you again. But I accept your dare. I’ll love you with every sunrise and sunset. Every clear day and through the storms. I’ll love you here, on the stage, and in the studio. I’ll love your family and your past. Mostly, I’ll love our present and our future.” Cece knew that no matter what she faced, with Blake in her life, she’d swim and sing and the sun would come out after a storm.
He leaned down and planted his lips on hers and they kissed as the waves gently lapped their ankles and her foot popped.
Look for more from the Hawkins brothers coming Fall 2019
Falling in love with a Police Officer (book 4)
Christmas with a Mountain Man (book 5)
See other titles, available now, below!
Also by Ellie Hall
The Only Us Sweet Billionaire Series
All I Want for Christmas Novella (Book .5)
Only a Kiss with a Billionaire (Book 1)
Only a Night with a Billionaire (Book 2)
Only Forever with a Billionaire (Book 3)
Only Love with a Billionaire (Book 4)
Only a Date with a Billionaire (Bonus Book)
♥
The Rich & Rugged, the Hawkins Brothers Clean Romance Series
Second Chance with a Firefighter (Book 1)
Wedding Day with a Rancher (Book 2)
Resort Getaway with a Bodyguard (Book 3)
Falling in love with a Police Officer (Book 4)
Christmas with a Mountain Man (Book 5)
♥
The Blue Bay Beach Reads Romance Series
Summer with a Marine (Book 1)
Summer with a Rock Star (Book 2)
Summer with a Billionaire (Book 3)
♥
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