by Tracy Korn
Liddick darts an apologetic glance at me, and my stomach falls.
"Because we're going to Phase Three…" he finally says, and the blood seems to drain from my body through some opened valve in the soles of my feet.
"We're what?" I ask, locking my eyes with Liddick's.
"We have to force the Gaia mainframe to cannibalize itself, or they'll never stop, Rip. They'll just keep taking people from the pull sites like they've been doing for the past 80 years. They'll keep using Gaia Sur as a funnel for getting rid of people who get in their way, and for recruiting others who can be manipulated into helping them. Everyone else is just a pawn in the game—don't you see it?" Liddick explains, his brows drawing together in preparation for what he must know is coming.
"We planned on going into that mountain to get our family out, Liddick. No one said anything about going into space!" I say, biting off the ends of the last few words. Arco laughs out loud from behind me, then turns to Dell.
"And I suppose you knew about this? That's what caused your sudden change of heart about helping us?" he asks. Cal and Zoe exchange confused glances, but Dell clenches his jaw and squares his stance. "You did know," Arco hisses, narrowing his eyes.
"They have to be stopped," Dell finally answers like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"So you agreeing to help us because you saw I was fighting for something more than just being cage-rattled? All that about wanting to help me pound the lock on the cage instead…?" I trail off, trying to decide if I was manipulated or not.
"That was the truth," Dell nods immediately. "But I never said I thought you were the only one pounding. If the State keeps snatching people from all those places, and somebody is aiming to stop them, I mean…ain't that just the biggest lock of all?"
CHAPTER 49
The Cliffs
I push my hands over my face trying to make everything slow down. If the State is actually behind what Gaia is doing to people, how can we possibly stop them? It's too big…I think just as Liddick meets my eyes.
There are others who know, Rip. They've known for a long time. We're not alone in this.
"So what exactly are we walking into here?" Avis asks in a thin voice, and I can feel the cold pressing down on us while trying to process Liddick's ridiculous suggestion that we are now somehow going into space.
"We're not going home after we get to the mountain…" Myra says like saying it out loud will help her accept it. In the same breath, I feel a ripple of anger shoot out from everyone, which I feel hit Liddick too.
"We can't go home," he says defensively, exhausted by the concept. "Don't you think that's the first place they'll look for us? Right now, Gaia can't tip their hand. They can't let anyone topside know that we're gone, so our families are safe, at least for now. But if we try to go back…you saw how they made the Ripley's dad disappear," Liddick explains, and Arco shakes his head and narrows his eyes.
A dull ache starts at the bottom of my chest and quickly turns to a sharp, unrelenting stab. When I look up, low level flames are running across Arco's shoulders and down his arms, and the cords in his neck pulse with his heartbeat.
"Arco…" I say quietly, but then Liddick turns to face him and makes everything worse.
"And if Nann were next?" he asks. "What if they took Jazz's little sister next, Hart, and you had a chance to stop them, but chose to quit while you were ahead?" he pushes, which only makes Arco's fire flash. Jax takes a step forward and grips his shoulders, but not before sending a level glare at Liddick.
"Take a breath, man. You can't light up in here—look around," Jax says in a low voice just before a few drops from the melting ice ceiling fall onto Arco's cheek. He blinks, then squeezes his eyes shut and takes in a long breath. His hands close into fists, and slowly, his flames recede.
"Why didn't you just tell us?" Zoe asks Dell the question everyone must be thinking.
Why didn't you tell me? I think toward Liddick. He turns back to me slowly, then sighs and angles his head in apology.
Rip…I had to be sure, he answers just as Dell speaks up.
"Because everyone believed me about the labs in the mountain, right? Anyway, didn't see the point in getting everyone all worked up with questions until we got all the details worked out," Dell says casually.
"What details?" Cal shakes his head, pinching the arrow-scarred bridge of his nose. My chest compresses when I look at him, desperate for more information that will somehow offset his feeling of…betrayal?
"Well, for starters, we didn't know the bridge would be fit for traffic until about 10 minutes ago. Seems a little unnecessary to get all your skivvies in a bunch over zipping to space if it turns out we don't even have a ride, wise?" Dell explains like this is the most obvious answer in the world, and I see how he and Liddick are more alike than I ever realized. "I mean, don't that make sense?" he asks after a few seconds.
"But it's not the point," Arco growls.
"We need to know everything. Right now," Jax says, staring right through Liddick as I brace against the wash of mixed emotions…anger, by far what everyone is feeling most, including me, but also excitement, hope, fear, panic…admiration? If I'm honest, I think the latter might be mine.
"That's everything," Liddick starts. "We were going to tell you when we had confirmation that the bridge could work—it's not like it's easy to hack into a channel for Admin City—but as deep as this goes, heading there was inevitable the second we decided we were getting out of Gaia," he adds, scanning everyone's faces for understanding, which he doesn't find. He resets, exasperated. "Look, I don't know what fantasy land you're living in if you really think they are just going to let us walk out of that mountain with our people and go back to the surface…" Liddick stiffens, then nods at Arco. "That's what you think, Hart? We're just going to climb home through some tunnels?"
"There are protocols…agencies in place that—" Arco begins, but Liddick's guffaw interrupts him.
"Agencies!? You must be kidding…wake up, man—did you really think for five seconds the State was innocent? See, your problem is that you don't know anything about the world beyond the Seaboard beach. They've been lying to us our entire lives, don't you get that yet? Do any of you get it?" Liddick throws out his hands to the group just as Arco's flames snap from his shoulders again. He advances, and I hold out my arm.
"Arco, stop!" I say, then see the surprise register on his face. "Just hear him out," I add, which doesn't walk him back, but it makes him take a minute. He heaves a breath, and Jax brings him in with a few words close to his ear that I can't make out.
"What they're doing is wrong," Liddick starts again. "None of you are stupid, and after everything we've found out so far, the only reason you're not half-split with outrage just like I am is because you're still holding out for that Gaia career and lifestyle fantasy. It's an easy lie to believe, but it's still a lie. The sooner we start accepting that, the faster we'll be able to do something real about it," he adds just as another dull ache starts behind my eyes and in my teeth. My heart pounds in my ears, and in that minute, I know he really believes every word of what he's just said. And also, that he's right. I have to speak up.
"After my interview didn't tell me anything about what I was supposed to be, I didn't know how to let go either," I say, turning to Arco, then to everyone. "But we really can't go home. We can't go on with our Gaia paths either, and we knew that the minute we escaped…we just weren't ready to believe it. At least I wasn't, and I haven't known what's going to happen next since then. It's terrifying, but what makes me feel better is that we're together. Pretty soon, we'll get to that mountain, and we'll have more help. The only way out of this is through, I think. All the way through."
No one says anything in reply at first, but the desperate feeling in my chest gives way as Avis and Ellis start nodding, and then Arco takes a deep breath.
"I don't like you, Wright," he says to Liddick, who bristles and narrows his eyes. "I've never liked you, and I probably
never will because how you operate is mind bending."
"Arco…" I start, but he just keeps going.
"Maybe I just don't understand your justifications for what you do, but you know what, I really don't care. I don't want to understand…and that's how I know it's personal," he adds, confusing me with his sudden change of course. "I'm good with that, honestly," he shrugs, then glances at me. "But a leader has to be objective," Arco says, taking another breath, and I smile at him. "So, I can't set the tone on this—if everyone accepts this new trajectory, I guess we're going to space…" he pushes out a breath, closing his eyes and shaking his head before meeting Liddick's eyes again. "But you better be up front with developments from now on," he continues, narrowing his eyes. "It's not just you in this boat any more." It's so quiet when Arco finishes talking that I can hear everyone's breaths in addition to seeing them in the cold air, and all eyes fall on Liddick.
"Fair enough," he answers after a few more seconds, and for the first time, I believe they might actually be on the same page about something. "So what's your verdict?" Liddick asks, looking out at our group.
No one says anything at first. I look at Jax, and we nod to each other at almost exactly the same time. Fraya nods too, and I raise my eyebrows hopefully to Tieg. He sighs, pressing his lips into a line, but then also nods.
"All right…then we're doing this," I say after registering everyone's assent, and the air seems electric until Zoe starts hopping up and down at the front of the group next to Dell.
"So, not to harsh everybody's soliloquies and all, but some of us aren't wearing your smart suits with the climate controls. Can we giddy-up here now?" she asks. Her teeth start to chatter erratically until she locks her jaw in a panic, and I'm not sure if the rush of bright pink in her cheeks is from the cold, or from the embarrassment I feel immediately spilling out of her. Dell belly laughs and throws an arm around her, rubbing her arm quickly until she elbows him in the side as we start walking again.
"You aiming to friction fire this whole igloo or something?" she laughs until her teeth chatter again, and she slaps her hand over her mouth.
"So we're about to go fight for the planet is basically what you're telling us?" Ellis asks from the other side of Liddick. He raises a thin, dark eyebrow at him that then gives way to a smirk.
"Good thing it's not our first scrap," Liddick answers.
"Dibs on naming the virtuo-cine they make about us. Cloud Rider has a nice ring to it, no?" Ellis adds, and there are only a few groans among the chuckles that pop up from around the group as the tension officially recedes.
Thank you, Liddick thinks from just ahead of me. You didn't have to take up for me back there.
You were right. It just took me a while to let go…it's a hard thing, I answer, watching Dez weave through the group to walk next to Liddick.
I fought it for a long time before I read the writing on the wall…before I stopped clinging to the way I thought things were supposed to be and just started letting them be what they were.
Dez weaves her arm around his, and I roll my eyes at the ridiculous parallel he's trying to set up.
I know what you're doing, I think. This isn't the same thing as you and me. Liddick.
I didn't say it was…but it's interesting you saw enough similarity to argue about it, he says, and I don't have an answer for that. We walk on for several more minutes before Arco finds his way to me after talking with Jax, and I smile up at him when he takes my hand. By the way, Liddick starts again. Dez thinks she had some kind of fever dream after the tunnel shark. She said she called you every name out there because I was shouting that I loved you for the whole world to hear. Now she's too embarrassed to face you, even though she didn't really do anything. Isn't that funny? he asks. Heat pushes over my throat and into my cheeks, pulling me to him all over again as I remember him calling out. At the same time, I feel completely stupid for thinking Dez had some kind of agenda and shake my head, trying to clear the whole thing before I lose sight of everything.
Liddick…it just won't—
"How far are we?" he calls up to Cal and Dell, stopping my thought before I can finish it.
"We just need to cross the Cliffs into the Woods, then come out the other side at the foot of the mountain," Dell answers, then jerks his chin forward to the sparkling blue, shadowy corridor that extends in front of us. "The chasm is right at the end of this."
***
I walk the rest of the way with Arco's arm around my waist. I'm not dizzy any more, but it seems to temper the air around him. I rest my head on the side of his chest and can't stop feeling like there's something unsettled, something unanswered in him…an uneasiness that being close to him helps to offset. Just as there's finally an opportunity to ask him about it, the crystals in the cave start to shift from blue to white as the light from the gas clouds returns, and I have to raise my hand to shield my eyes until they can adjust to the brightness. After a minute, green grass peeks out through the packed ice and dark rock just beyond the edge of the crystal cave, and evergreen trees spring up in all directions. In the distance, more mountain peaks shoot up from bases I can't see, and the air is biting and cold.
"These are the Cliffs," Cal says. "The Woods are across that," he adds, lifting his chin to the ravine that looks like the edge of the world in the distance.
"How are we supposed to get over there?" Tieg asks, looking first to the left, then to the right.
"See the ridge?" Cal answers, pointing toward what looks like the empty center of the ravine until I see the edge of a jutting, narrow rock ledge bridging the two sides of the cliffs. "It's the only way," Cal says. "I tried to find any other way…" he adds, rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand after he takes a drink from his container. Dell nods just before he looks at the ground, and their combined sense of foreboding thickens the air all around us.
"What's the problem?" Liddick asks, obviously feeling the heaviness too as he lifts a hand to the ridge. "We can't just walk across?" he adds. Dell and Cal exchange glances.
"It's only about a foot wide in places, maybe less," Cal answers.
"And there's a wind. It tries—" Dell stops himself, then seems to decide something. "It tries to make you do things. That's the only way to say it."
"The wind? Because it's not enough it can just blow you right off the ridge, right? It has to jack with you first?" Tieg nods, then throws his hands in the air before pushing them through his short sandy hair. He turns his back to us and then startles everyone when he screams at the tops of his lungs. The sound echoes just as loudly before the echo repeats itself in the canyon too, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and my skin prickle all the way down my spine.
"It comes from the Woods—the whispering is in the trees there too," Cal adds.
"This is stupid! How are we supposed to fight that?" Tieg shouts back to us. "You got any ninja moves or machetes for whispers? Of course not," he adds, then clasps his hands behind his neck and walks a few more steps away from everyone.
"What if we cover our ears? Like Odysseus said to do for the Sirens, wise?" Zoe suggests, her red eyebrows shooting up in optimism.
"Doesn't work," Dell says. "The wind will just go through your nose or your eyes to get into your head. The only way around is through."
"So how do we do that?" Avis asks.
"Find your reason. The one reason you've come this far—the one reason you have to get to the other side no matter what," Dell answers, then cuts a glance at me. "It's the only way to get out of here."
Jax grips my shoulder, and I take a deep breath as Dell and Cal gesture for us to follow them toward the edge of the cliff where the ridge starts.
My heart hammers in my chest with each step we take. It feels like I've forgotten something important that I'm going to need….a desperate kind of fear that makes me scramble inside myself for an alternative. Arco grips my hand and looks down at me.
"Hey, are you OK?" he asks, "Can you breathe?"
I nod, but my heart feels like it's pushing against my ribs with every beat.
"The hole is all healed," I say, bringing a hand to my side. "I just can't get my feet under me," I add, and my throat starts to close.
"Listen," he says, studying my face as he brushes my cheek. "It will be all right. It has to be because we've come too far. I have to believe—" he starts, then swallows and regroups. "It just can't all be for nothing now. We're going to cross. We're going to get into that mountain, and we're going to find our way home…eventually," he nods, then brings his other hand to my face. "Don't accept anything else," he adds, nodding once more before he kisses me, softly at first, but then like it will be the last time. I hold onto his wrists as he rests his forehead against mine. "I love you so much," he whispers, then pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me and sending tiny prickles down the back of my neck. He blows out a quick, hard breath like there's a candle just past my ear a few seconds later, and I realize why when he chuckles. "Get that out of your system now…no lighting up on the ridge, OK?" he laughs, then sobers and meets my eyes. "Only one outcome…" he whispers, and I nod just before he grips my hand again as we approach the cliff edge.
Dell kneels at the edge and puts his hands on the rock under his feet, then lowers his head and closes his eyes. He picks up a rock in each hand as he rises, then turns to face everyone.
"Just walk your line. There's nothing else—no monsters except the ones you bring with you, so leave them here," he says, then takes a deep breath. "Don't look down, and don't look back, no matter what happens, no matter what you hear. Nothing is real until you're on the other side, wise?"
My heart thrashes against my ribs like they're iron bars, beating against them so loudly I almost can't hear anything else. Dell looks at me one last time and nods just once before he turns around and starts to walk across the ridge, which is about three feet wide and covered in veins of limestone that spill into the chasm below. Other people pound the lock…I hear echoing in my head, a stray, secret weapon thought stored away for just this moment, and it is exactly what I need. I lock eyes with Jax, and he mouths the word breathe to me. I take a deep breath, and raise my index finger to him. Our one thing, I think, and I know he understands.