“Fat lot of good it ever did me, but thanks.”
“In the end, virtue will serve you well. It’s so unusual these days.”
“Yeah, you pick up the papers and it seems like everyone is a lying crook.”
“Just like Max, except on a larger scale. Anyway, Max was a professional liar, a hustler, a felon on the run from the law, and a user of the worst sort. The only thing you had in common with him is that you were both in love with the same person. Him.”
“I feel like such an idiot.”
“So do I.”
“Okay, but I’m a flaming idiot.”
“It’s okay. And you’re not.”
“Yeah? Wait till my Uncle Henry hears about this, and wait till my mother gets her hands around my throat.”
“That’s another reason I came down here.”
“Why? To watch a family execution?”
“No. To stand by you until this is over.”
“Really? Don’t you have to go back to work?” Woody has to be the nicest person I have ever known, she thought.
“Nope. Basically, I’m fired.”
“What do you mean? Did you talk to Uncle Henry?”
“Nope. I fired myself. First, I’m taking some personal days. But when it hits the fan? Old Henry is gonna go wild. I mean, wild!”
“Oh Lord, Woody. I’m so busy fretting over my side of the sewer, I didn’t think about yours. You’re right. Uncle Henry will not be amused.”
“Well, look. I’ve known Henry for a long time and I have never missed a step with him. I’m just going to tell him the truth—that you got completely blinded by the biggest rush into romance I have ever seen. That when I met Max, which he knows I did, I thought he was okay too. If he fooled me, he could have easily fooled you.”
“Oh, thanks a lot.”
“No, Beth, wait. What I meant was Henry and I are in the business of sizing up companies and the people who run them. When you do that all the time you develop a sixth sense for the business. You can smell a bad deal or an unscrupulous person from miles away. And I’m good at this or I wouldn’t be working for your uncle. Believe me. So along comes Max. He seemed like a hardworking, gregarious altar boy to me. Right out of the Wholesome Boys’ Central Casting. He completely, completely, completely fooled me.”
“I feel only slightly better. Don’t you think Uncle Henry is going to think you paid a fair penalty when he finds out how much of your own money you lost?”
“I think his first loyalty is to you, as it should be, and when he finds out I let this loan go through without calling him? He’s never going to want to see my face again. And I wouldn’t blame him.”
“You don’t know that, Woody. You have to wait and see what happens, don’t you think?”
“Sure. We’ll see. I hope I remember how to milk cows. Is this our exit?”
Within half an hour, they pulled into her aunts’ driveway. Their house was typical of the wealthy neighborhoods of Coral Gables, built of stucco, lots of arches, painted a pastel pink. There was a courtyard with a pool and the property was artistically landscaped with palms, aloes, and other kinds of succulents that could stand up to the vicious heat. The interiors were open spaces with cool marble floors and tons of light. Beth had only been there twice but she loved the house because it was glamorous and modern and so different from how she had ever lived.
It was just past seven in the morning when Beth rang the doorbell.
“Wouldn’t it be great if my Aunt Sophie just opened that door, made us pancakes, and took out her checkbook?”
“Beth? Neither one of us have that kind of luck lately.”
The door opened and one of her aunts stood there, squinting in the blinding sunlight. Without her makeup and hair done, it was difficult for Beth to figure out which aunt it was. But Beth quickly decided it was Allison, peeping around the partially opened door with a very unwelcoming demeanor. It was Allison. Allison’s eyes darted back and forth between them as though they were robbers or, worse, Jehovah’s Witnesses. She didn’t recognize Beth at all.
“Good morning, Aunt Allison.”
“Beth? Is that you?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were coming. How did you get here?” Her voice was agitated and edgy.
“We drove. This is my friend Woody Morrison. Can we come in?”
Allison paused before she answered, which was very unsettling to Beth.
“Only for a minute. I have to go out. In fact, I’m late.”
Beth and Woody looked at each other as if to say, We drove five hundred miles to stay for a minute? And, where’s she going at this hour? And where’s she going dressed like that? Allison looked like she had been up all night. Maybe longer.
“Her pupils are huge,” Woody whispered to Beth.
Beth nodded her head in agreement. “She’s definitely on something. I knew it.”
They stepped inside and stood in the foyer waiting for Allison to invite them into the house for a cup of coffee or to offer some basic hospitality, but she did not. They felt like interlopers, awkward and uneasy.
“So, what can I do for you?” she asked.
What can I do for you? What a strange thing to say, Beth thought, like we’re selling encyclopedias? Something is incredibly out of whack here.
“Is Aunt Sophie all right?”
“Sophie? Sophie? Is Sophie all right? What are you talking about?”
“Last night you told me she was sick. And I got very concerned.”
“Why would you be concerned about Sophie? People get sick. Then they get well.”
“Well, can I see her?”
“She’s not here.” Allison paused. “She went to the doctor.”
Woody had yet to say a word but he was listening. He too knew something was dreadfully wrong. Beth’s Aunt Allison was having some kind of psychotic episode. And she was lying. That much was clear.
“What doctor did she go to?” Beth said.
“Why do you want to know that?”
“Because I want to go there and see my aunt.”
“Why are you so nosy? Hmm? Answer me that, little girl.”
“I’m not nosy, Aunt Allison. I love you and I am very worried about both of you. Is there something wrong? Do you need help?”
“It’s time for you to leave. I have things to do.”
At that point, Beth was beginning to shake all over from nerves.
“Where’s Geoffrey, Aunt Allison?”
“I wouldn’t know, would I? The son of a bitch took all the money and left, didn’t he?”
Okay, Beth thought, now we’re getting somewhere. But talk about parallel lives?
“Who’s Geoffrey?” Woody whispered to Beth.
“Her boyfriend who’s some kind of pharmacologist who made up the vitamins.”
“He’s gonna get it too!” Allison said, her voice rising. “Oh yes! He’ll get his! The long arm of the law is gonna crack his head!”
What did that mean? Woody and Beth exchanged suspicious looks, knowing they were in the presence of a demented mind.
“He’s going to get it! But good!”
Beth felt sick in her heart to see her aunt this way. Where was her Aunt Sophie? She was either in some terrible peril or, God forbid, she was dead.
“Aunt Allison? Something is very wrong here.”
“Well, it’s none of your business. So run along now.”
Beth, who had never been in a situation like this in all her life, was very unsure of what to do next. So she simply stood up to her aunt.
“No ma’am. I’m not leaving until I am certain beyond any doubt that my Aunt Sophie is alive.”
“Is that so? Well, then go and have yourself a look around. I told you she’s not here. And then I want you to go. You just can’t come in here like this! Who do you think you are? Hillary Clinton? She was in the yard this morning but she left.”
“Okay. Aunt Allison? I am your niece who loves you and
is very worried about you. And I’m going to get you some help. Why don’t you sit on the sofa and I’ll make you some breakfast?”
To her complete astonishment, her aunt went directly to the living room and sat on the sofa, leaving the front door of the house wide open. Woody closed it and followed them to the living room. Allison was staring into space and muttering, having a silent conversation with someone who wasn’t there. She was hallucinating. Beth had witnessed people hallucinating in college, but that was drug-induced. Had her aunt taken some sort of hallucinogenic? Beth knelt in front of her and spoke to her very sweetly.
“Aunt Allison? Where’s Aunt Sophie?”
“What? She’s right where Geoffrey left her.”
“And where’s that?”
“I can’t say. Why are you asking me so many questions?”
For the next few minutes, Beth tried to get her aunt to say where Sophie was but Allison was adamant. She was keeping her secret. She was becoming more and more paranoid and suddenly her temper flared.
Allison stood up abruptly and said, “You can’t treat me like this! Nobody can! I have a contract!”
She ran to her bedroom, slammed the door behind her, and locked it.
Woody and Beth could hear her screaming from behind the door, screaming and screaming and screaming. She was throwing things, crashing them against the walls, and she was banging her fists.
“I’m calling 911,” Beth said.
“You do that and I’ll have a look around.”
As impossible as it was for her to comprehend, Beth was making a 911 call, the first and hopefully only one she would ever make in her life. She knew she had to tell the operator that she was calling to report a missing person, perhaps a homicide, and to ask for help for her aunt who had lost her mind. Was that what she should say? Well, that was the truth, wasn’t it?
“Yes, she’s in her bedroom, screaming and screaming. No, I can’t understand what she’s saying. No, I don’t know if she has a gun. No, I’m not sure if she’s dangerous, but I do know something terrible has happened to my other aunt. Why? Because I just know it.”
If I tell them about all the butterflies in the mirror at home, they’re going to cart me off to a loony bin, she thought.
“Yes, she’s Sophie Hamilton. And it’s my aunt Allison Hamilton who’s locked herself in her room and is…well, she’s deranged. We need help right away. Thanks.”
She gave them the address again, hung up the phone, and Woody, who had remained within earshot, took her hands in his.
“Now look, it’s going to be okay,” he said.
Beth, whose waterworks had discovered a bottomless well, burst into tears yet again.
“No, it’s not going to be okay, Woody. It can’t be okay. My mother is going to die when she hears all this. Oh God! I wish my mother were here.”
“You know what? So do I. But let’s just see what the police say and then we will decide what to do.”
It didn’t take more than a few minutes for the police to arrive and Woody answered the door. Woody and Beth explained who they were and why they were there. The officer in charge was Sergeant Michael Coker, a no-nonsense fellow with a crew cut and a square jaw. He was so muscular and solemn that he could have been an ex-Marine. He sent two of his men to search the house. Another officer, who was trained to deal with psychological trauma, was dispatched to convince Allison to open her door.
There was an ambulance standing by and squad cars continued to arrive. Beth and Woody sat at the dining room table with Sergeant Coker and answered his questions.
“I’m sorry to put you through this. You’re both very tired; I can see that. But I need to know why you think there might be foul play.”
When Beth explained what her aunts did for a living, Sergeant Coker’s eyes lit up.
“My wife uses those DVDs of theirs all the time. That music drives me nuts.”
“Yeah, I’m not a fan either. And now they have this new vitamin business…”
“So you think that maybe your Aunt Sophie might have gotten really sick from them?”
“Yeah, maybe, because she was complaining about chest pain a couple of weeks ago. But until we find her, I don’t know.”
“Has your aunt ever taken off like this before?”
“Never. But Aunt Allison said that her boyfriend Geoffrey has disappeared, apparently with a lot of her money.”
“Enough to make her get this hysterical? Do you know his last name?”
“No, sorry. I never met him. But I’m sure we can find out. He was her partner.”
“Okay, that’s good.”
“She’s not just hysterical, Sergeant,” Woody said. “She’s showing some real signs of psychosis.”
“Are you a doctor, son?”
“No, I’m an investment banker.”
“Oh, an investment banker. I see,” Sergeant Coker said, and shook his head. “Well, when they get her out of her room, we’ll take her in for a psych evaluation.”
“She was hallucinating,” Beth said.
“How do you know that? Are you a doctor?”
Sergeant Coker had little patience for two young kids, no matter how distressed they were, making a professional medical diagnosis when they didn’t look like they were old enough to know beans about beans. High anxiety made perfectly rational people jump to conclusions. He had seen it a thousand times.
“No, I’m a journalist. But I know hallucinations when I see them. I saw enough kids tripping out on shrooms in college, talking to their imaginary bunnies or whatever. She was staring off into space and having a conversation with someone who wasn’t there. And she told me Hillary Clinton was in the yard this morning.”
“Hillary Clinton, huh? That’s a good one.”
“Hey, Sarge? Can I see you for a minute?”
Sergeant Coker got up and went out to the garage.
“Think they found something?” Beth said. “Should we go see?”
“I’ll go,” Woody said. “You just stay put.”
Two minutes later the sergeant and Woody reappeared. Woody looked stunned and Sergeant Coker’s face told it all. Beth’s heart sank and she prepared herself for the worst.
Woody took her hand and Sergeant Coker said, “I’m sorry, Ms. Hayes. I think we’ve found your Aunt Sophie, and if it’s her, she’s gone.”
“What? Where is she? Can I see her? Are you sure it’s her?”
“You don’t want to see her, Beth,” Woody said.
“Yes I do!” She started to hyperventilate. “That’s my aunt who I love so much! You don’t know!”
“No. Not right now. Do you want some water?”
“No! I want to see my aunt! I want…Oh God! Please make all this stop!”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to get some air and a glass of water!”
“Sergeant Coker? I can tell you without question it’s her because Allison is her identical twin.”
“Okay, Mr. Morrison, you stay with Ms. Hayes. I gotta make some calls.”
When he walked away Woody followed Beth to the kitchen, where she was looking for a glass. Beth said, “Okay, Woody? What happened? What happened to her?”
“I don’t know. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m okay. So, where was she?”
Woody was visibly shaken.
“Maybe I could use a glass of water too.”
Beth poured him a glass and handed it to him. He drank it down to the bottom and refilled it himself. Then he took a deep breath and blurted it out.
“In the damn freezer. Someone stuck her in the damn freezer.”
“The freezer? Oh my God! How horrible! Oh my God! Geoffrey! That lousy son of a bitch. He’s worse than Max.”
“But why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. It’s the most inhumane thing…My poor aunt!”
“Yeah, it’s so wrong. I’m sure it’s against a thousand laws. But no matter how or why she died, why didn’t they just call f
or help?”
“Maybe because Geoffrey wouldn’t let Allison blow the vitamin business and Sophie was dead anyway?”
“Maybe. But what if the vitamins didn’t kill her? What if she just had a freak heart attack or something?”
“Like a stroke? Possible. I mean, they were pretty old to be doing all the aerobics and stuff they did. I guess they’ll do an autopsy?”
“Probably.”
“Oh my God, this is the worst day of my life!”
“It’s up there for me too and I didn’t even know her.”
“Oh, Woody!”
She threw her arms around him and hugged him hard. Instead of crying they sighed and sighed, almost too exhausted mentally and physically to feel anything anymore.
The coroner was called and her aunts’ house became a crime scene, with forensics experts arriving, taking pictures, searching the carpet for hair, and dusting for prints. And when her Aunt Sophie’s body was removed to take to the morgue, Woody held Beth’s face to his chest so she didn’t have to see it happen.
Allison had been screaming for almost an hour. Then there would be silence. Then the screaming would begin again. Finally, she started screaming there were bugs all over her and the police became concerned. In the end, they had to break down Allison’s door, and when they did she was arrested. She put up such a fight, kicking at the officers and threatening them, that they had no alternative but to wrestle her to the ground, handcuff her, and take her away. Beth and Woody couldn’t believe their eyes as they watched Allison’s humiliation.
“But she’s ill,” Beth said. “They shouldn’t treat her like that.”
“She’s a threat, Beth. What can they do?” Woody just shook his head.
Of course, someone had called the local television stations and the newspapers. Allison Hamilton’s departure was fully documented by the media.
“This is too much,” Beth said. “Too much. My Aunt Maggie is going be furious to see our name all over the papers. I mean, why is the public so hungry for this kind of news? It’s no one’s business.”
Her face was so incredulous that Woody knew in that moment Beth was unable to figure out what their next steps should be. His heart was filled with enormous sympathy for her. The events of the last few days were too much for almost anyone.
“Beth, this is a terrible tragedy. Terrible. And you’re right. It’s no one else’s business. But because your aunts were pretty well known, it’s gonna be all over the news in an hour. We’d better call your family before they see it on CNN. The entire news media is going to have a field day with this.”
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