by Abby Niles
And a lifetime anticipating hers. He hoped nothing changed that.
Chapter Fourteen
How was she going to tell him?
Gayle leaned against the doorframe of her workroom and studied Mac as he sat on the couch watching a fight. Things between them had been going so well. After the ghost prank three days ago, she had been racking her brain for a dare that would top it. So far, nothing had come to mind.
Now it was possible that even if she thought of something, she’d never get to issue him the challenge.
The storm had arrived. Both literally and figuratively.
The two fronts that were about to collide would bring another massive outbreak of severe weather. She wouldn’t lie to him, though she was ashamed to admit she was real tempted.
This was the last hurtle.
The real test—another huge, dangerous system. The last one they’d experienced together had turned deadly. And this time he wouldn’t be with her. Could he take it—the fear for her safety? Or would he turn tail and run back to Atlanta?
The reality that she could still lose him—really lose him—hit her like a ton of bricks.
Because she’d gone and done the one thing she’d sworn to protect herself from—she’d fallen in love. With a man who was as wrong for her as it got. Even while he was so damn right.
Love alone wouldn’t save them, wouldn’t keep them together. She was terrified it wouldn’t be strong enough. Not against a killer storm and the fears it brought to the surface.
At the thought, her stomach knotted.
The fight on TV ended, and Mac clicked off the set. Concern furrowed his brows when he saw her expression. “What’s up?”
“Rick and I are leaving in the morning,” she said, stepping into the living room.
“Okay.”
No hesitation, just quick acceptance. She wavered about telling him the rest. But shook off the idea of lying. No. The only way to know if they were going to work was complete honesty.
“Mac. It’s a big system. I’ll be gone for a few days.”
The blankness in his eyes slowly diminished as her words sank in, replaced by anxious understanding. He swallowed, then averted his gaze. “Like the one we went on before?”
“Yeah.”
Nodding, he sucked on his teeth, then inhaled deeply. “Well.” He scrubbed his hand over his mouth. “We knew this was coming.”
Not really the reassurance she was looking for. “Yeah, we did.”
Tension crept between them. Mac vigorously shook his head, then grabbed her hand. Next thing she knew, he was tugging her up to her room. As they reached the edge of her bed, he spun her in front of him, cupped her face between his hands, and attacked her mouth with his.
That’s when she realized he was just as terrified of the outcome as she was.
Throwing her arms around his neck, she parted her lips and welcomed his tongue. Frantic hands fumbled with clothes and tossed them across the room. Naked, they fell on the bed, legs tangled. As he rolled her beneath him and settled between her thighs, their gazes locked. While he brushed back her hair, she cupped his jaw. No words were needed. Everything needing to be said was being done so by the fear saturating this moment.
As he entered her and began to thrust, they never lost eye contact. Taking a moment to just feel the other. Because the feelings were becoming too much. They stayed together, connected. Both knowing that tomorrow their connection could be forever broken.
Afterward, Mac tucked his body against her side, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. He kissed the top of her head, and muttered, “Everything will be okay.”
As she squeezed closer to him, she could only hope that was true.
Feeling like a hundred pound barbell had formed in his stomach, Mac watched Gayle pack the SUV. Yesterday when she’d told him about the huge system she was going after, he’d felt like he’d been hit with a blinding right hook. The daze still hadn’t cleared from his head.
Gayle was about to put herself in harm’s way.
All the good she did while racing after those storms didn’t matter one fucking bit to him. The only thing that mattered to him was her safety. He couldn’t help the resentment that she was about to put her life on the line again when she didn’t need to. Understanding there was nothing he could do to stop her only increased the bitterness and frustration.
The thing was, those were his issues to get over, because he’d never try to stop her.
Storm chasing was what Gayle was. Who she was. If he couldn’t accept that side of her, he didn’t deserve her. So, as much as he wanted to yank out the suitcase she’d shoved into the SUV and toss it on the lawn, he forced himself to pick up a toiletry bag and help her.
She brushed her hands on her jeans and started toward him. “We’re ready to hit the road.”
A lump of panic threatened to choke him, but he swallowed it back. Would he always feel like this when she left, or was it because this was the first time? Would it become something he got used to?
He hated how he felt right now. Hated it. “Be careful.”
She stopped in front of him, shoving her hands in the back pockets of her jean shorts. “Always.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist, linking his fingers at her lower back as she looped hers around his neck.
“I’ll be careful, Mac,” she said with more fierceness. “I promise.”
Pulling her close, he hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. At one time, in his naïveté, he’d once believed himself invincible. That he and his wife would have a family, grow old together, and have a plethora of grandkids to spoil. The universe had given him one hell of a reality check.
Everything could change in an instant. He’d learned that with a woman who hadn’t taken risks with her life. How was he supposed to let Gayle go, knowing the immense risks she took? That she was willingly putting her future—their future—in such danger?
He squeezed her hard, feeling torn. She wasn’t a daredevil. She might go after these monsters, but she did it to save people, just like the brave men and women in law enforcement and the military. He had to be strong for her, just as their loved ones were.
He loosened his grip, and she lifted her head, leaning back. “Are you going to be okay?”
As always, she was worried for him.
He brushed back her hair. “I’m going to worry. No reason to pretend I won’t, but I’ll keep myself busy. So, don’t give me another thought. You just stay focused on what you’re out there to do.”
Please.
The idea that her concern for him could distract her into making a dumb and deadly decision shot another stomach-twisting jolt of anxiety through him.
She tugged his head down and kissed him hard on the mouth. “When I get back, I’m going to turn all that focus on you, so you’ll know how focused I can be,” she whispered against his lips.
Despite his fears, a smile pulled at his mouth. “Then you better focus real hard, woman.”
Laughing softly, she pulled out of his embrace and climbed into the car. She rolled the window down. “I’ll call you.”
“I won’t call you.” Surprised hurt flashed through her eyes, so he quickly added, “Wouldn’t want to interrupt you during a crucial moment.”
The tension left her muscles and the carefree Gayle returned. Her eyes slowly ran over the length of his body. “One of my many talents is multi-tasking, handsome. I’ll be sure to make that clear in a few days.”
Rick put the SUV in reverse, and right before they zoomed off to go after their storm she gave Mac one of her filled-with-suggestion winks. Then they were gone.
He stared at the empty driveway, dread weighing heavy on his shoulders. This was it. Either they were going to get through this ordeal, or it would end them. The final square-off with his inner demons was at hand.
Gayle settled back against the seat and rubbed her forehead. Tension crept back into her as she let out a tired breath. Mac had let her leave without lay
ing on a guilt trip. Why did that fill her with both happiness and trepidation?
As she’d packed up the car, she’d been aware of his anxiety. Knew he’d wanted to beg her to stay. But he hadn’t. He’d kept his fears to himself, and she had to give him credit for that. He really did want this relationship to work between them. And in just a few short days, they’d both know if a future for them was possible.
The outcome terrified the hell out of her. She didn’t want to lose him. At this point, the odds of him leaving her were just as great as the odds of him staying. If this whole situation had been a storm she was tracking, she would have backed off for sure because of the extreme unpredictability.
Safety first. Protect herself, always. She hadn’t followed those rules with Mac. Now she was in danger of one hell of a hurting.
“What are you thinking?” Rick asked, breaking the heavy silence.
“That I might have just kissed Mac for the last time.”
Rick sighed, shaking his head. “You’ve seriously got to let go of the past, Gayle. Mac’s not Mark or Brian.”
“No, he’s not. He lost his wife and unborn child to the very thing I chase for a living. That’s a pretty big hurdle to jump.”
“Not really. You lost your family to the same thing.”
“I didn’t experience the horror myself, though. I didn’t find my house destroyed. Didn’t have to frantically look for Sam and my family, praying they were okay. I didn’t find them dead. I don’t have memories like those branded in my mind, Rick. Mac does.” She tapped the pencil against her knee. “A big part of me feels I’m being selfish to keep doing this.”
Rick shot her a what-crazy-talk-is-this look. “What in the hell makes you say that? You wouldn’t consider giving up your career for him, would you?”
“No. Even though I know how hard this is on him, I’m not willing to stop—not even for him. That’s selfish, isn’t it? If I really loved him, wouldn’t I be willing to give it up?”
“You act like this is some kind of drug addiction, Gayle. It’s not. Your work does a lot of good for a lot of people. Even Mac sees that, or he would’ve demanded you stop.”
“He’s going to want kids one day.”
“So? You do, too.”
“Yeah, I do. But I’d always thought I’d end up with someone with an understanding of meteorology. Maybe not another chaser, but someone like me with a love of weather, who wouldn’t balk at what I do. After everything Mac has been through, how can I ask him to stay home while his wife and the mother of his children goes off looking for the very thing that killed his last family?”
“Gayle—” There was a warning in Rick’s voice. “You’re looking for reasons to run.”
“I’m trying to think ahead.”
Because there was no way this was going to end well.
“Listen, I’ve been there with you through all of this. Trust me, I do get the skittish act. But I’m telling you, Mac is different. It’s time to take a leap of faith. He’s not going to ditch you because of your job.”
She wanted so badly to believe Rick. But it was so hard. Knowing the next few days would make or break her relationship with Mac. And decide whether she would be happy for the rest of her life…or was destined for a life filled with storms and loneliness.
“How’s Gayle?” Lance asked as he hopped from foot to foot. The mouth guard and protective blue headgear around his face muffled his voice.
Mac lowered his arms and removed his guard. His friend did the same. He and Lance had been sparring for the better part of an hour. It was time for a break, anyway.
“Good. They’ve seen a few touchdowns and she’s gotten some decent data. They are down toward the border of Oklahoma and Texas today. Hopefully, they’ll be headed back up this way in a day or so.”
Gayle had been gone for three days. Surprisingly, each day had gotten a little easier for Mac. He missed her like crazy, but the fear had abated more with each passing minute. And with the abatement, his nightmares had stopped before she was even finished with this chase. A very, very promising sign for his and Gayle’s future.
She called or texted him constantly. Sent him pictures over the phone of the storms she was chasing, and kept him informed almost every hour she was out there. The fact he wasn’t completely cut off from her made it easier not to worry.
“How are you?” Lance asked.
Sighing, Mac tugged off his headgear and tossed it on a bench. “What am I supposed to say? That I like her chasing tornadoes? I don’t, probably never will, but if I’m going to be with her, I have to accept it. Hell, the way she loves weather, it’ll be my luck she will one day become an extreme weather reporter and branch out to more than just tornadoes. At least right now this worrying will only be a few weeks out of the year.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to handle it?”
“After she left, I was really nutted up over it, but she’s been out there with some huge storms this time and it’s not been as mind-fucking as I built up in my head. I’m feeling pretty damn positive.”
“So, does this mean you’re going to become my neighbor?” Lance asked with a sly grin. “I’ve liked this arrangement we’ve had since you got back.”
Mac chuckled. “Things are certainly looking that way.”
Lance thumped him on the back. “That would be so fucking awesome. I’ve missed you, man. What would you do about training?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. One thing at a time. Gayle and I need to have a long talk when she gets back. Hammer out our relationship, now that this obstacle is out of the way.”
When he finally told Gayle Matthews he loved her, it would only be when he was certain his demons wouldn’t surge forward and ruin what they had together. When he was completely confident he was the man she deserved. Not before.
They walked back into the house, and Lance flipped on the TV. Breaking news immediately caught Mac’s attention, and he froze at the grainy video clip of a monster tornado churning a path of epic destruction through a city in Oklahoma. His throat closed as dots formed before his eyes. His knees threatening to buckle, he reached around for something to hold on to. He finally found the back of a chair. He latched onto it, squeezing until his knuckles turned white.
“I’m sure she’s fine, Mac.”
“She fucking speeds ahead of these damn things to warn the people in its path. What if she doesn’t get out? We barely did the last time.”
Had she called while he’d been sparring with Lance? Had he fucking missed her call? He frantically searched for his phone.
Lance must have picked up on what he was looking for, because he reached over onto a side table and handed it to him. The phone trembled in Mac’s hand. No missed call. No text. Nothing.
Oh, God. What if he’d already lost her? What if the last time they spoke had been the last time they would ever talk to each other?
Just as he was about to press the number to autodial her, his phone rang and her name appeared on the screen. “Oh, thank God,” he breathed. “Where are you?” he demanded as soon as he answered.
“Mac?”
It was difficult to hear her from all the static filling the line—that, or howling wind. Something was also pounding in the background. Goddamn hail. She was near that deathtrap.
“Mac? Can you hear me?”
“Gayle?”
“Listen, you must know about the tornado by now. We’re not near that one. About fifty miles away.” There was a loud pop and a muttered, “Shit. Just wanted to let you know I’m—Rick! Watch out!”
Screeching tires sounded. Scrunching metal, screams, and muffled groans of pain.
“Gayle?” No response. “Gayle!” he yelled, his heart pounding hard.
What had he just heard? Had a tornado just taken out the SUV?
Terror quaked his body as his gaze snapped to Lance, who was standing ramrod straight, paler than usual.
“Gayle, please, baby, say something. Anything.”
But all he heard was the long, strident blare of the car horn.
Almost seven hours later, Mac rushed into the hospital in Fort Smith, Arkansas. Seven of the longest fucking hours of his life. He couldn’t catch a flight because the storm system had caused delays everywhere. Driving had been the only option.
The only information he’d gotten was what someone on the scene had told him after he’d stayed on the fucking cell phone yelling her name for what had felt like an eternity. An unfamiliar voice had finally answered him—a chaser from another team. They’d been driving behind Gayle and Rick when they’d wrecked. They were on their way to a chase target and got caught in a severe storm.
According to the guy, the wind had been intense and knocked a tree down in the road. Rick had swerved to miss it and lost control, careening down an embankment. The people behind them said the SUV had flipped about four times before landing hard on its hood. Both Rick and Gayle had been knocked unconscious. Because of the storm, it had taken a while for emergency crews to get to the accident. Once they did, the Jaws of Life were needed to rip open the car.
Rick, by then, had been awake. He hadn’t sustained many injuries—just a few lacerations and a broken arm. Gayle was another matter. All they could tell him was she still hadn’t regained consciousness when the ambulance had finally left.
After that, the doctors had taken over and fucking HIPAA kept him from finding out anything. And Rick wasn’t answering Gayle’s fucking phone.
When he and Lance finally got to the hospital, Mac sprinted up to the front desk. “Gayle Matthews.”
The woman typed on the computer. “She’s in room 350.”
She’d been admitted. He rubbed his forehead. “Fuck.”
Lance rubbed his shoulder, but Mac knocked him off. He really wasn’t in the mood for any comfort right now. He raced to the elevators and punched the button. What the hell was going to be waiting for him up there? She wasn’t in ICU. That was good. It had to be.