by Abby Niles
“You’re comparing a kitten to a damn lion, Dante. There have only been two documented deaths in regulated MMA. What Gayle does can be seriously life-ending. Tornadoes take way too many lives each year. I know this. I’ve experienced this.”
Dante exhaled harshly. “I’m just saying, one day you may wish you had taken any time with her, rather than none at all. Everyone takes a chance when we fall in love. Caitlyn is my whole life, just as Julie is Tommy’s. Neither one of us has lived through the tragedy you have, thank God. I can’t even begin to fathom how something like that would change me when Caitlyn is in every thought I have of the future.”
“I can’t. I just can’t.”
Dante leaned forward. “Here’s the thing, Mac, you didn’t think you would have a second chance at love, and you still found it. Would you rather be alone knowing the woman you love is out there, one day learning she died and realizing you’ll never, ever, be able to be with her, or would you rather take what you are given, which could possibly be forty years or more, and just enjoy being with her as long as you can?”
Mac stared ahead. He got Dante’s meaning. He really did. The rational side of his brain saw completely what he was saying. The irrational side however, didn’t. “But I have lived through losing a woman I loved. Had to learn how to wake up every day to the empty spot beside me. Her laughter gone. Live with the emptiness she left behind. I didn’t recover until I met Gayle. If she were ever taken from me, I would never recover. Not this time. So, I feel like it’s better to save us both a lot of heartache. Besides, she would grow to hate me. After her getting hurt like she did, I would never feel safe with her out there chasing. It would be a constant source of friction between us.”
Tommy and Dante exchanged glances. “It’s your life, man. We can’t make you do anything. Just know that life sucks, going at it alone. Especially when you have a woman out there who loves you.”
Who said she loved him?
And even if she had, he’d surely killed that love by walking out.
He was done with this conversation. Slapping his hands on his knees, he stood. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Don’t we need to train?”
“You going to stop being such a dickhead?” Tommy growled. “If you don’t want to go after your woman, that’s your deal, but the rest of us ain’t putting up with your bullshit. You need to get any aggression out, you do it inside the ropes. Don’t pick fights with your friends.”
“I hear you.” He worked his neck.
“Since you’re so berserked out, how about a sparring match with Maurice?”
Yeah, that sounded good. Maybe then he could go home and sleep. His damn annoying headache was probably more from lack of sleep and stress than Tommy’s actual punch. Not saying the guy didn’t have power behind his fist, but as a heavyweight, Mac had taken some herculean blows much stronger than Tommy’s.
Ten minutes later, he was circling Maurice in the boxing ring. The other fighter had his fists up, a calculating look letting Mac know he was searching for the best move, too. Maurice made a movement, and Mac went immediately for a straight jab. Maurice dodged and came around with a powerful left hook, landing it square on Mac’s jaw. His head whipped hard to the side.
And blackness engulfed him before he hit the canvas.
The strong gusts of wind continuously pushed against Gayle as she peered through the camera lens and took another photo of the breathtaking mothership supercell hovering above a golden field of wheat. The storm that came out of that one was going to be a humdinger.
She dropped the camera, letting it hang around her neck, and sighed. Unless something popped up between now and Monday, three days from now, this would most likely be her last chase of the season. The thought was depressing, but the TV news station she worked for was ready for her to claim the helm as chief meteorologist. With tornado season winding down, she really had no excuse not to.
Because “I need the distraction chasing gives me” wasn’t a practical reason—though it was the truth.
After the doctor had released her from the hospital, she’d spent one week at home recovering from the muscle soreness that had mocked all muscle soreness, and it had been hell. Being trapped in her house had done nothing but allow the damned man to consume her thoughts. As soon as she could move without wincing, she’d apologized to Lance for leaving him in a bind with Skylar, but she had to get away for a while. He hadn’t even blinked, just told her to do what she needed to do.
Over the last four weeks, she’d checked in with him. The last update hadn’t gone well. Lance had lost the fight he’d been training so hard for. He tried to sound like his usually energetic, positive self, but she’d heard the disappointment and worry behind his false cheer.
She understood that struggle. At least she didn’t need to pretend to be happy. She’d just thrown herself into every possible storm she could—even the ones she knew would be a bust. If she got nothing more than a few pictures or video, she didn’t care. She was distracted.
She missed Rick, could’ve really used the familiarity of their good-natured banter, but with his broken arm, driving was impossible. Another team had selflessly lent her one of their crew. Nick was a good kid in his early twenties, eager, with a passion for meteorology. His continuous barrage of questions had been a distraction in itself.
Not that she hadn’t thought of Mac anyway. At night she had, and she resented it, especially as the weeks passed, and he’d never made any attempt to contact her. She’d come close to calling him a few times, to make sure her accident hadn’t caused him to regress, but ended up not having the strength to dial. One of her biggest fears was that he was fine. The fear made her a loathsome person, but it was hard to forget he’d left her in the hospital and hadn’t looked back.
The motivation seemed obvious to her. Her prediction that night on her porch steps had come true. She was Mac’s wrecking ball. When he’d returned to Atlanta and the horror of her accident had worn off, he must have realized the feelings he’d had for her were simply gratitude. That was why he hadn’t reached out to her. Simple.
The possibility—probability—had driven her insane, had made bitterness churn in her gut, had made her wish she’d never met Mac…which made her feel even more of a horrible person. No matter how their relationship had ended, the man had needed her to come into his life and change it. After five weeks of soul-searching she was confident that, given the choice, she would help Mac heal all over again—but just do a much better job of protecting her heart.
Being heartbroken sucked.
She was pulled from her depressing thoughts as a wall cloud descended from the mothership. Time to roll.
She hurried back and jumped into the SUV, slammed the door, and immediately grabbed the map to study it. “Let’s go down a few a miles and get a little closer.”
Nick pulled back onto the road. Gayle peered out the passenger window at the mountain of dark clouds. “Those striations are beautiful.”
“Almost as beautiful as you.”
At the familiar deep voice rumbling from the driver’s seat—a voice so not the young kid she’d been listening to for weeks—every cell in her body froze. Lightly shaking her head, she blinked. Was she freaking hallucinating now? Only one way to tell. Turn and look. But for the life of her, she was too terrified to do so. Because if Mac wasn’t sitting there next to her, she would have to give Nick directions to the nearest psychiatric hospital. She was finally losing her mind.
“I personally like that the mothership has a rain-free base so it doesn’t seem anchored to the ground and appears to be hovering in the air.”
Wide-eyed, she stared at the supercell. Yes, the person speaking had Mac’s voice, but the words coming out of his mouth didn’t sound like Mac at all. Rain-free base? Anchored to the ground? That was chaser talk.
She took a calming breath and twisted to peer over at him. Her mind was having a hell of a time computing things. This wasn’t possible. It went against all
logic. Mac had left her in the hospital because she had been in a wreck while storm chasing. This Mac was sitting behind the wheel in an active chase—driving the damn chase vehicle down the road, calm as could be. That made no sense.
Sending her a quick glance, he arched a questioning brow. “Baby? Are you okay?”
“Wh-” Shock had sucked the moisture from her mouth. She licked her lips and tried again. “Where’s Nick?”
“Where’s Nick…” The Mac look-alike sucked his teeth. “You asking for another man was not the homecoming I was hoping for, but what the fuck, I’ll play along. I just paid him a crazy amount of money to return my rental car for me. He has no loyalty, Gayle. He snatched the money and took off.”
Eyes locked on Mac, she leaned back against the seat. “Why are you even here? You left me.”
A pained grimace contorted his face. “I did, and I regret that.”
“Without one word, you left. It’s been weeks.” And the festering hurt was still there in spades. And the fury. Seeing him made it all bubble to the surface again.
“I’ve been recovering,” he said.
She crossed her arms, filled with anger. “From what? Terminal stupidity?”
A deep chuckle filled the SUV. “As a matter of fact, yes.” He tapped a finger to his temple. “Sometimes it really does take a good punch to the head to knock some sense into a guy.” He grasped the steering wheel again. “Am I supposed to turn or keep going, or what?”
“How about you drop me off and then keep going…straight back to Atlanta.”
“Nope.” He sent her a lazy smile. “I’m good right here.”
Her mouth dropped open. He hadn’t even blinked at her retort. His laid-back reaction only goaded her anger more. “Really? You’re good…right here? Holy shit. Where’s the Lollipop Guild to welcome us, because we sure as hell ain’t in Kansas anymore.”
His soft laugh made her want to smack him. Hard. Why was he so damn relaxed and unresponsive to her hostility? Grinding her teeth, she folded her arms tight across her chest and stared out the windshield. Did the ass really think he could just show up and all would be forgiven? Not damn likely. He left her. In. The. Hospital.
After a quick glance at the weather monitoring screen, Mac took a right turn onto a side road. Gayle struggled to hide her surprise. She would’ve instructed Nick to take that same route to follow the clouds.
Come to think of it, how had he known proper terminology? He’d deliberately dropped those words to make her curious and, damn it, the ploy had worked. She snapped her head around. “How did you know that cloud has a rain-free base?”
“I’ve been studying. A person can learn a lot if they open their mind instead of letting fear close it.”
She dragged her gaze up and down him. He sure looked like the man she’d fallen in love with—correction: thought she’d fallen in love with—but something was definitely off. “Man, what a shocking discovery. I mean, who knew ed-u-cation made you smarter?”
Her snippy tone only earned another chuckle from him.
If the man didn’t stop laughing, she was going to kill him. She fisted her hands in preparation.
“I know, right? Those books and videos showed me a lot.” He paused for a long moment. “But it was life happening that taught me the most important lesson. And made me a much smarter man. I’ve learned something invaluable with you, Gayle. Something losing my family didn’t ever teach me. In fact, their deaths made me live in fear of it.”
She shot a sideways glance at him. Questions pushed at the back of her teeth, but she wasn’t ready to let go of the anger.
“Want to know what it was?” he asked, then paused for a heartbeat. “Life happens. And some things I simply have no control over. None. All I can do is accept that, and live every moment I’m given to the fullest.”
The raw sincerity in his voice grabbed her undivided attention, and she narrowed her eyes to study him. Something was different. It wasn’t just the complete freeness about him, either, which was disconcerting to say the least. Even when he’d been trying like hell to make things work between them, there had always been an underlying tension, a constant he-would-bolt-at-any-second vibe when it came to the future of their relationship.
Holy shit. That was it. The tension and the vibe were gone. He felt…at peace.
The man sitting next to her was not the one she’d left standing in her driveway, uncertain if he could handle her profession or not. This man was the one who’d gone to Zumba, who’d run with her in the mud, who’d found a little girl’s mother, held Gayle while she’d cried. The man who’d helped her face her past and cooked with such joy after he’d faced his own.
And now he was driving her chase vehicle, the very thing that had come between them, with that same damn determination and steadfastness.
That other man in the driveway, he would leave her. He did leave her.
Somehow, she knew this new man wouldn’t. Knew it to the depth of her soul.
She swallowed, terrified of allowing him back in, in any form. But she was unable to ignore what he was trying to show her.
“Th-that’s quite an epiphany,” She cleared her throat against the nerves suddenly taking her body hostage. “What made you decide to let go and accept all that?”
He smiled wryly. “When life decided it was my turn to look death in the face again. I’ve done it before, trapped under that refrigerator, but any lessons learned were erased when everything I loved was taken from me. That time, I had no reason to live. This time I did.” He shot a quick glance at her. “You.”
I’ve been recovering. Looked death in the face. This time.
The real meaning of those words suddenly hit her square in the chest. “What happened to you, Mac?”
He sent her a sideways smile. “I’m fine now. Doctors released me yesterday. It’s the only reason I didn’t come sooner, and I sure as fuck wasn’t doing this over the phone.”
“Mac. What happened?” A rising dread was making it difficult to breath. She wanted to claw at her throat to loosen the grip this unbidden panic had around it.
“P-pull over.”
She had to get out of this damn car.
As soon as he stopped, she jumped out and ran into the adjoining field. The robust winds whipped her hair and she wrapped her arms around her waist, inhaling the air greedily. It smelled of hay and wet earth with a hint of ozone. Familiar smells that usually comforted. But not now. What was freaking her out so badly?
Mac came to stand beside her.
“I had a brain contusion. Seemed I’d been walking around with a very mild concussion ever since I fought Ragin. Then I got clocked twice at the gym, and the second punch did me in. I was out before I hit the floor. Didn’t regain consciousness for hours.”
Gayle hugged herself tighter. And she had been completely unaware of it. This entire time, she’d thought he was moving on with his life, but in reality he’d been recovering from a brain injury. He could have died and she wouldn’t have known the truth until it was too late.
The realization twisted her gut so sharply the pain nearly brought her to her knees.
“After they released me from the hospital, I spent a week and a half lying in bed. I couldn’t read, watch TV, or anything. All I could do was think.” He looked down at his feet. “About how much I love you, how much I miss you, how much I regret running out of that hospital…and how the hell I was going to win you back. The second week I could do small periods of activity, so I started watching YouTube videos about chasing, learning everything I could about what you do. See, I was planning my own chase. But my goal isn’t to catch a tornado. My goal is to catch you.”
Tears welled in her eyes, making his frame swim in front of her. Mac had faced death, and returned to her ready to accept everything she came with.
That she had come so close to losing him, without knowing it, was giving her a wake-up call. She’d forgotten life could step in and change her world in an instant, regardless of how
happy or sad, protective or carefree she lived day to day. Even if Mac had stayed with her after the crash, his silent brain injury could have taken him from her at any minute.
As much as she wanted to believe her live-in-the-moment philosophy shielded her from the pain of loss, the truth was, she’d been no different than Mac. She’d tried to control life, but all she’d really done was keep herself detached from other people for fear of losing them.
And how fucked up was that?
She closed her eyes and drew in a lungful of fragrant air.
Could she take a leap of faith? Truly live in the moment, as she’d believed she had been all along…this time with Mac by her side?
Did she dare?
“What happens next season, Mac?” she asked him. “Or in the future, if we get married and have kids? What if I get hurt again? I won’t give up chasing. I can’t, Mac. I owe it to my family to make sure their deaths weren’t in vain. That others don’t die the same way. If it’s not my own research that makes the breakthrough, then maybe it’s something I do, something I record, that will be the missing piece for another scientist’s work. I need to know I will, in some way, further our understanding of tornadoes. It’s what gives me hope for the future.”
He let out a long sigh. “When we met, I scoffed at the idea of hope.” He lifted his shirt and ran a finger over Trust inked on his side. “Scoffed at that, too. Thought they were useless emotions meant only to crush a person’s spirits when they inevitably failed.” Dropping his shirt, he cupped her cheeks in his hands. “You gave them back to me. I have hope for a future now.” His grip on her tightened. “With you. I have hope for children, grandchildren. You are the one by my side when I see those things.”
A tear escaped and slid down her cheek. “And trust?”
“I trust you. I trust you with my life and my heart.”
She let out a soft sob, and Mac gathered her to his chest. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she clung to him.