by Amali Rose
“You’ll what?” I bark. “What the hell are you doing, Thomas?” The fucker doesn’t even have the decency to look sorry. He merely matches my steely expression with his own.
“Someone needs to make sure—”
“I need to make sure, Tom. I’m the one who needs to be sure, not you. And I am. So back the fuck off and if I ever hear you talking to the woman I love like that again, we’ll be sorting things out the way we did when we were kids.” I grab Charlie’s hand, ignoring her round eyes, and pull her behind me.
It’s not until I’m sitting back at the table, the chatter of everyone around us masking my silence, that I realize what I just revealed.
I rub my eyes against the glare of my computer screen, the last few hours spent staring at the damn thing playing havoc on me. I risk another quick glance at the clock and immediately wish I hadn’t.
Lulu’s party started an hour ago.
I had been so sure I would make it. Determined to breeze in here at six this morning, skip yoga, power through these contracts and be at Miles’ in time to help him set up for the party.
Can you say delusional?
Instead, five hours later, I am still here with more than half the contracts yet to be reviewed and summarized.
I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s been the same all week. I try to concentrate but my mind is constantly distracted, too busy playing Miles’ words on repeat.
If I ever hear you talking to the woman I love like that again.
I’m not sure he even realized he said it, but I haven’t been able to forget. I’ve never had a man tell me he loves me. Hell, I don’t remember the last time anyone told me they love me. My mother loves me in the only way she knows how, but it’s not a conventional maternal love, and the only memory I have of her telling me she loved me was cocooned in an argument and thrown at me carelessly and painfully.
“I don’t care if you hate me!”
“I don’t hate you, Charlie, I love you. But that doesn’t mean I like you.”
My grandparents’ love for me is enduring and consuming, but they aren’t sentimental types and their love was always shown through actions, not words.
I had no idea how much I craved hearing the actual words until Miles hurled them at Thomas so nonchalantly.
God, Thomas. His accusatory glare is burned into my brain. I know he’s going to fault me if I miss the party today and I hate with a passion that I’m going to feed his distrust of me.
The idea of just leaving crosses my mind, but I quickly dismiss it. I have never left a job half-finished and no matter how much I’d like to, I can’t bring myself to start now.
My cell phone is lying on the corner of my desk where I tossed it after my last message to Miles, and I snatch it up, preparing myself to give him the bad news, and already trying to figure out how I will make it up to Lulu. It will definitely involve multiple gifts and multitudes of cash.
Because that’s what people in my position do, right? We throw money at a problem and pray the people we love will forgive our absence, our lack of attention, our failings.
I have spent the last four years watching the men and women with careers I aspire to, repeating this cycle over and over again. It’s how I knew children couldn’t be in my future. I was determined I would never disappoint someone, casually disregarding them just as I had been over the years.
And, yet, here I am.
Sucking up every breath of defeat I feel, I start typing out an appropriately apologetic message to Miles, when I’m interrupted by a knock on my door.
Louis’ distinguished face peers around my door and he offers me a quick smile.
“Charlotte, can I have a minute?” He enters my office before I can respond and takes a seat, fiddling with his tie. I instantly feel underdressed in my black skinny jeans, pink sweater, and ballet flats.
In my defense, I didn’t expect to run into a partner on a Saturday.
“Charlotte, I’m going to get right to the point. We’re removing you as the lawyer for Preston Pharmaceuticals.”
It’s funny what runs through your mind at a time like this. The moment you see your future plans crumbling down around you. The first thing that comes to mind when I hear Louis’ assertion is that Friends quote.
“Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic.”
Internally I am wailing, howling and weeping over the unfairness of it, because how is this even possible? I busted my ass to bring that company in to Harris & Erickson, and I have been on top of my game every step of the way.
Outwardly, I maintain my composure, not skipping a beat.
“May I ask why?” My voice remains impressively calm and I want to fist-bump myself, my pride is so immense.
He sighs, and for the first time, I see a modicum of discomfort. “Unfortunately, the head of the company is uncomfortable moving forward with you as their lawyer. Considering your recent publicity.” He shifts in his seat and clears his throat. “Charlotte, you have always been a credit to our firm. You’re shrewd and determined, and you put in the hard hours. Honestly, both Kendall and I thought you were on the partnership track, but these last couple of months we’ve noticed a switch in your priorities. Normally we wouldn’t comment on this, since the quality of your work has remained outstanding, but we can’t ignore this tabloid business. Several clients have expressed concern regarding your commitment and possibly your ethics after reading certain things.” I open my mouth to interrupt him, outraged by the suggestion that my ethics are anything less than stellar, but he cuts me off. “Please don’t misunderstand. We are not questioning any of these things. However, having one of our attorneys presented in this negative light, well, it’s not good for the firm and we need to consider our reputation above all else. I know you will understand.”
“Of course,” I answer soberly, waiting for him to drop the axe. I’m surprised when he simply stands and starts heading for my door.
“Excellent. Consider what I’ve said carefully, and I hope you make the right decision.”
He’s gone before the implication of his words fully hits me. When it does, I slump back in my seat.
By ending things with Miles, I can set my world right again. I’ll be demonstrating my commitment to the firm and there will be no reason for clients to resist working with me. My job will be secure and my written-in-stone plan for career progression will be right back on track.
Miles and Lulu will be a tiny blip on my trajectory and one that could be overcome with hard work and sacrifice.
I worry my bottom lip between my teeth and tears prick my eyes.
The answer is obvious, so, ignoring the bile rising in my throat, I gather my things and head to Miles.
The drive only takes me twenty-five minutes, but during that time my resolution only strengthens. I know I’m doing the right thing.
I pull up to Miles’ house as a group of people are leaving. Children clutching balloons and goodie bags in their sticky hands, bouncing around and giddy on a sugar high.
For a brief moment, I’m almost glad I missed the party. Almost, but not quite. Two-month-ago-me is wondering what the hell happened. Current-me pities her.
I cut the engine and hop out of the car, nausea and regret still punishing my gut over the choice I have been forced to make today, but when I glimpse Miles standing at his front door watching me, the inevitability of this soothes me.
There really is no other choice.
His eyes follow me, the weight of them carrying me forward, and when I find myself standing toe to toe with him, I indulge myself, and sink into his arms.
“I’m sorry.”
He chuckles against my hair, his hands threading through the loose waves and I feel his shoulders shake gently.
“Don’t worry about it.” He pulls back and cradles my face. “Lulu barely noticed I was here, let alone anyone else. She had her friends, a balloon twister, and ice cream cake, she’s fine.”
“I let—wait, t
here’s ice cream cake?” I lean forward and bury my face in his chest. “Ugh, that’s not important. I let her down.”
He moves back, distancing himself and breaking contact. I watch him leaning on the doorframe, his eyes narrowed, scrutinizing me.
“The party is unimportant, Chicago. This—” He waves a hand behind him, motioning in the direction of childish squeals and laughter. “This is just the window dressing. The superficial show we put on. What matters is you were here when it was just us. You rearranged your schedule so you could be with us on her birthday. All those people back there, they don’t matter. What they think doesn’t matter. You, me, and Lulu, we’re the only ones that do and you could never let us down.”
In one quick motion, he pulls me to him and twists us so that I am pressed up against the wall.
“We love you, Charlie.” His mouth is so close to mine, his breath ghosting across my lips. “You can’t get rid of us that easy.” He smiles against my mouth and then his lips take mine in a playful kiss, his tongue claiming me.
In that moment, my last shred of doubt disappears. The last two months have changed who I am and what I want out of my life. I believe with complete conviction that Miles is my future. Even if I’m wrong and I’m left heartbroken, this is worth the risk. This deep and genuine love that Miles has opened my heart to is new and frightening, but it’s worth everything and I won’t give it up for a job.
I place my hands on his chest and push him back lightly, giggling at his groan of frustration.
“Enough of that, take me to the child so I can beg for forgiveness.”
He starts to lead me down the hallway, but I stop him, needing to acknowledge his confession and trust him with my own.
“I love you, too. Both of you.” Then I push past him following the sounds of merriment. When I turn to look back at him, he’s watching me, his gaze heated, and a satisfied smile plastered across his face.
“Let’s go, Kent. There’s ice cream cake to be eaten.”
“Charlie, save me!” Lulu throws herself over my lap. “The monster’s gonna get me!”
Tyson is chasing her, growling loudly, and when he reaches me, Lulu hops off and runs away screaming, peeking over her shoulder to make sure he’s following.
“God, I would kill for that energy.” I sigh, watching the two of them run around the yard.
“It’s all about to come crashing down, just you wait.” Shannon laughs.
I take a sip of my coffee and peer across at her. The last of the guests left not long after I arrived, and Shannon, Camden, and their kids are the only ones remaining. I was grateful I got the chance to see Robert and Grayson before they left, and I was even more grateful that Thomas had already gone.
The yard is empty now, except for me, Lulu, Tyson, and Shannon. Miles and Camden are inside arguing over hockey stats while Brianna plays games on her tablet. The ground out here is littered with remnants of the party and it reminds me of the way I look when I get home from a big night. A disheveled imitation of my former self, and another wave of sadness washes over me that I missed it.
“What do you mean?”
“Those two”—she points toward Lulu and Tyson—“are on a massive sugar high and they’re about to crash. Trust me, it’ll be our very own reality show. Toddlers, tears, and tantrums.” She grins at me over the edge of her coffee mug, her blue eyes crinkling in amusement.
“I think the last thing this family needs is another reality show,” I snort out, glancing across at Lulu and deciding Shannon can’t be right. I haven’t seen her throw a tantrum once in the time I’ve known her.
“I’m so glad you didn’t hold that fucked-up show against him.” She reaches over and places her cup on the large outdoor table that is sitting between us, swapping it for a handful of nuts. “He had good intentions, but I really don’t know what he was thinking agreeing to it.”
She tosses a wrapped chocolate truffle to me and I catch it easily.
“It does seem unlike him,” I agree, trying to feel her out. “He doesn’t come across as someone who seeks out attention like that.”
“Oh, he’s definitely not, but I think Ted was just feeling hopeless, you know. He was suddenly a single dad to a baby, doing it all on his own and he saw the future he had always dreamed of just slipping away.”
“Ted?” I quirk a brow at her.
She laughs lightly, the melodic sound ringing through the yard. “Sorry, inside joke.”
“Now you have to tell me,” I insist, her easy humor causing my lips to tilt with a small smile of my own.
“We started calling him that in college. After Ted from How I Met Your Mother. He was always the incurable romantic, searching for the one.” A soft smile plays across her face. “He called Camden and me, Lily and Marshall. Renee was our Robin. We were like a live action version of the show.”
Renee was our Robin. As in Robin who ends up with Ted. Was Renee destined for Miles? He’s always been adamant that there was nothing romantic between the two of them, other than that one night. Now I’m not so sure.
“So, Miles and Renee were close?” I push.
Shannon startles at my question and understanding is written all over her face. “God, not like that,” she reassures me. “Honestly, they were only ever friends. There was never even a hint of anything else.” She sighs sadly. “That night was so out of character for both of them. Cam thinks it’s silly, but I like to think it was the universe’s way of making sure we got to keep a little piece of Renee after she was gone.” She looks at me, a watery sheen to her eyes. “It probably is stupid, but it makes me feel better.”
I reach across the table and grasp her hand, squeezing it gently. “I don’t think it’s stupid at all.”
She clutches my hand gratefully. “Anyway, I think Miles felt like it was his only shot at getting his happily ever after. He was exhausted, working himself to the bone trying to balance fatherhood and work and he wasn’t making good choices.” She purses her lips and her eyes narrow angrily. “He didn’t deserve what they did to him.”
I’m about to agree with her when there’s an almighty shriek from the other side of the yard and I look up to see Lulu glowering at Tyson.
“Give it back, you fuckhead!” she screams, her words loud and clear.
A shocked gasp slips past my lips. There was definitely no misunderstanding that.
Tyson’s face crumbles and he starts crying just as Miles comes storming outside.
“Tallulah Renee Kent, get your butt over here, right now.”
She spins around, turning her death glare to Miles and looking completely unmoved by his tone.
Then, as though a switch has been flicked, she begins bawling too. “He-he too-took my balloo-loon,” she stutters between sobs.
“I don’t care, you do not use language like that. I think it’s time for you to have a nap.” He begins to walk toward her, and she immediately drops to the ground, screaming and flailing her arms and legs around like crazy.
My eyes are round, and I’m pretty sure my mouth is open wide in horror.
“What’s wrong with her?” I turn to Shannon who is watching everything unfold with a grin. “Is she hurt? She sounds like she’s hurt.”
“Nope, she’s just being a normal three-year-old. I swear they demonize two-year-olds and hype up the terrible twos, but in my experience, three is so much worse.”
I watch Miles bend down and scoop Lulu up, expertly avoiding her thrashing limbs. He carries her like a football, tucked under his arm, restraining her arms and angling her legs away from his body.
Her face is beet red and she continues to screech as Miles makes his way inside.
A loud laugh directed my way drags my attention from the now-closed back door to Shannon.
“Oh God, your face,” she sputters.
“Does she do that a lot?” The sound of her screams still echoing in my ears.
“A normal amount.”
“That’s normal?” I can’t hide the
doubtful note in my voice.
“Yep.” Shannon pops the P. “That wasn’t even that bad. When Brianna was younger, she would set all the dogs off in the neighborhood with her shrieking.”
My silence must speak volumes because Shannon loses it, laughing uproariously.
“What’s so funny?” Camden appears and leans down to place a kiss on his wife’s head.
“I think Lulu just sent Charlie running for the hills.”
“That was nothing.” He scoffs. “Do you remember the time Tyson lost his shit at the mall?” Camden turns to me with a smirk. “This one.” He points at Shannon. “Calmly moves away from us, sidles up to the group of people who were gawking and says, ‘I wonder where his mother is, she should be ashamed’ and then walks away leaving me to handle both kids and the crowd.”
Shannon rolls her eyes. “I stand by my actions and I’d do it all over again.”
I giggle just as Miles joins us, looking completely wrung out. He flops into the chair next to me and rests his hand on my thigh, giving it a squeeze.
“I guess you finally got to meet Lulu’s alter ego. We call her Annabelle.”
I laugh at his comparison to the demonic doll from the horror movie.
“Tyson has crashed on the sofa,” he informs Camden and Shannon. “And Bri is still on her tablet.”
They nod in unison and the three of them start chatting about a local animal shelter adoption day that is coming up soon.
“I’m thinking about getting a dog. Lulu’s been asking for ages and she’s wearing me down.”
“Don’t do it,” Camden argues. “It’s like having another child. Ain’t no one got time for that.”
“You’re a vet,” I chastise. “Shouldn’t you have a menagerie at home?”
“Don’t even bother.” Shannon groans. “I’ve been trying to talk him into a dog for years. His heart is made of stone.”
“Well, I think you should get Lulu a dog. I wanted a pet so badly when I was a kid, but I was never allowed one.”
Miles reaches over and kisses my shoulder, giving me an understanding look.