With one hand he pushed my hand away, forcing it to wrap around the neck of the bottles, his other hand still moving inside me, upping its intensity. My mouth parted.
“I’m in control right now. Let go.” His thumb went to my very center, striving to find my spot, learning my body until he found the place that produced a soft cry, my eyes rolling back. His other hand went to my other nipple, pinching it. It was as if everything in me exploded, tearing me from the dank basement. My body convulsed as primal sounds flooded from my lips. He didn’t stop, thrusting in deeper and harder, sending a second orgasm through my body. I jerked against him, my entire form shaking.
Slowly I ebbed back into reality, my mouth open and gasping for air. A smug grin tipped his mouth as he drew his hand away. His mouth opened as he slid his fingers into it, sucking me off them, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Delicious.” He put his hands on either side of my head, leaning in. “But that was just a sample. Next time my mouth wants to join.”
In an instant I went from fully sedated to turned on again.
But also overwhelmed.
Scared.
He had way too much power over me. I had never made sounds like those or had lost control so much without even having sex.
He was different. I liked him.
Too much.
He wasn’t some guy I screwed and walked away from. He was here to destroy me.
“What’s going on?” Rhys clutched my chin. “I’m losing you; I can see it. What just happened?”
“Nothing.” I yanked my chin from his grip, buttoning my pants. “I’ve got to go.” I nudged him out of the way, pushing past him.
Run. Run. Run.
“Go where?” He tossed up his arms. “What are you running from, Hannah?”
I held up my hand and turned, my boots hitting the steps.
“At least be honest for once.” His voice sounded strained as he took a deep breath. “What is this deep secret you are hiding?”
I sucked in a sharp breath and swung around, anger at myself lashing out. “Are you being honest? With yourself?” I shook my head.
“What the fuck does that mean?” His eyebrows furrowed, anger popping behind his eyes like fireworks.
“The reason we get each other is because we both live in darkness, where truth can’t find us.” I tugged at my sweater, hesitating on the steps. “And I’m the worst one. I wouldn’t even know how to live without lies. I will destroy you. And you will certainly obliterate me.” Before he could respond, I bounded up the steps, angry at myself for letting my will slip.
Being around him sent me out of control, letting everything drop away.
I couldn’t let it happen. Too much was at stake.
“Girl, are you a complete moron?” Siena slammed down her drink, ice cubes jumping from her glass onto the sticky bar top.
“There is a good possibility of that.” I downed the last sip of my vodka, nodding at the newly hired bartender. He smiled, giving me a wink. He’d been flirting with Siena and me from the moment we climbed up on the barstools, declaring we were going to get stupid drunk.
After I got back to the restaurant, she had taken one look at me when I came upstairs, grabbed my hand, and directed us to the bar.
After the third free shot, thanks to Mr. Bartender, I told her everything. She was one of the few people who knew most my story and could understand the gravity of my situation.
Siena seemed to forget all that stuff and merely focused on one part. “Smoking hot Colorado finger fucks you in the basement, you say it was amazing, and you walk away from him? Are you nuts?”
“Again, the chances are quite high.” I smiled at the bartender, who placed a fresh drink in front of me. “Siena, you know who he is. It was stupid of me to even come back. To think it was safe to be here.”
“But you did. There’s a reason for that.” She twisted in her stool toward me. “Maybe he’s it. Maybe he’s your absolution.”
I snorted in my glass, taking another big gulp.
“Why won’t you tell me what happened up there?” she asked softly, the country music soaking in her words. “I hear you cry sometimes. You call for them…”
My body stiffened. Memories I kept so deep reached for the surface when I laid my head down. Guttural screams echoed in my head. Pain. Silence.
It was all my fault.
I remembered that agony, so deep it swallowed you up, then drowning anything in your soul you had left.
A wave of nausea doused me now. Tears kept me up at night, but silence haunted my dreams. The nightmares over nine years had not relinquished their hold on me.
Siena wiggled her empty glass, flashing a suggestive grin at the bartender. “Tell Rhys the truth. Who you are.”
“What?” I choked. “He’ll hate me.”
“What does it matter? It seems you’re not going to fuck him anyway. Might as well come clean, right?”
“Jesus, Siena.” I lowered my head onto my arms. But it did matter. He mattered.
“Since you’ve met him, I’ve seen the girl I used to know start to come back. Happy, bold, and fearless,” she stated. “Now she’s crawling back into her cage. Hiding from life…again.” She paused, and I lifted my head, peering over at her. “Let me ask you… Hey, you. What’s your name?” She motioned over the barkeep.
“Roland.” A wide smile broke over his creamy chocolate skin as he sauntered over to us, leaning on the bar.
“You think he’s hot, right?” Siena clutched his arm but looked at me.
“Uh.” I blinked. I should have known by now to never be shocked by Siena. “Yeah.”
“Would you go home with him?” She went on. Roland’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but his eyes glinted with delight, looking over at me with interest. He was very attractive, slim built but toned, hair cropped close to his head, with deep brown eyes and a huge contagious smile. Fun. He was someone I would have sought out before, for a one-night stand.
Now? I felt nothing. Similar to so many of the guys I took home before. Even lived with.
Only one had woken me, dug me out from my tomb, ignited fire into my veins.
“Look at her face right now.” Siena pointed at me, speaking to Roland. “She’s got it so bad.”
“What?” I sat straight. “No, I don’t.”
Roland tipped his head back, laughing. “I don’t even know you, and I can tell you got it bad for someone.” He grinned at me. “Sorry it’s not me.” He tapped the table, standing up. I could tell his words were empty. He enjoyed the hunt. Flirting. But nothing deeper.
It was what I used to be about.
“You better get your ass off of that stool and go find him.” Siena nudged me. “Because not only is Colorado hot as hell, famous, and carrying a lethal weapon in his pants... but you are completely falling in love with him.”
My chest locked up, fear twisting every nerve. Love? Oh hell no.
“Don’t deny it.” She waved her hand. “Now, go. Because Roland and I need to discuss when he is getting off work.” A wicked smile turned up her red lips.
Roland’s eyes widened, his tongue sliding over his lips as his eyes glinted with desire.
Siena didn’t even look his way, keeping her gaze on me, looking utterly confident and sexy.
I had lost that part of myself. The confidence. The sureness that life would work out and nothing too bad would happen.
It had all came crashing down on me.
Literally.
The wind rushed off the snow tops, whisking an icy breeze and snow down onto the village. I burrowed my face deeper into my scarf. The storm moved in like wild horses, rumbling and swirling in the cruel-looking sky.
It was time. Time I told him the truth. It already had gotten too far, and the possibilities of him hating me for it were astronomical.
Leaning against the wind, I strode up the path toward his cabin. Determined. Scared.
Light shone out of the cabin windows I passed, illuminating
the dark shadows with a buttery yellow. Families. Friends. People laughing, talking, and building memories shown through the windows. Aloneness and isolation wrapped around me like a jacket. It had been so long since I’d been surrounded by people who loved me, who were there for me. Once I had no idea what loneliness was. Over the years, however, as it descended on me, I had grown used to it. I’d become so accustomed to the walls around me I didn’t even know how isolated I was.
It seemed as if he brought out many aspects of me, and this was another he dragged up to the forefront, forcing me to look at it. Feel it.
Rhys Axton was everything I didn’t want but everything I needed.
I knew my feelings had been changing, developing into more. He could never have been a casual hookup. But I had been such a fool for thinking I could get through this unscathed. That he could. I cared about him too much to lie anymore. He deserved the truth. And I deserved his wrath.
A flash of lightning ignited the mountain, the turbulent clouds glowing and rolling in as if they wanted to demolish everything in their path.
I peered up at the brewing storm, knowing Mother Nature had nothing on me. From the moment I crawled out of my icy grave, I was the thing that wreaked havoc and destroyed every life I touched.
The path curved up the slope; flakes of ice descended down, patting the earth with heavy drops. His cabin burned with light, telling me someone was there. Hiking up closer to his place, a low murmur of voices caught my ear, shifting my neck to the corner of the deck. Steam rose from the hot tub, the low rumble of the tub’s motor churning the jets, bubbling liquid to the surface.
“Rhys, baby. I brought you a beer.” I heard a woman’s voice come from the sliding door, my stomach curling in on itself.
No. Please.
Carrie walked out on the deck, only a thread of a bathing suit covering her overly tan body, her long blonde hair flowing down her back. She padded to the tub, carrying two beers, a sly smile curling her lips.
Bile crawled up my throat, ripping me with its claws. Burning tears stabbed at the back of my lids, my hand clutching my stomach.
His response was too low to hear, but I heard her giggle as she climbed into the bubbling water, groaning with pleasure as she sank next to him.
Go. Leave, I yelled at myself, my boots freezing into the snow. This is for the best. You knew you could never have him. He’s supposed to be with her. He’ll always go back to her.
My thoughts didn’t stop the javelin from spearing through me. Only a few hours ago his fingers were inside me, making me moan. How fast my rejection had turned him to Carrie. It said all I needed to know. She was the one he really wanted. What I felt was one sided, and I foolishly let him slip through the barrier.
Never again.
I rolled my shoulders back, spinning around, not wanting to see or hear anything more.
Until he left, I would make a point to keep a clear path between us. Seeing the truth had saved us both a lot of pain.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rhys
Hair knotted in my fingers as I tugged at my hair, grinding my teeth in irritation. Two days stuck in the cabin was turning me loopy and causing me to walk around in circles.
The early evening lights began to sparkle from the village as I stared out the window. The storm was finally easing, but it was too late to do any runs on the hill.
“Go to the party next door,” Shaun grumbled from the kitchen, stuffing a few crackers into his mouth. “It’s New Year’s Eve. Get out.”
No doubt I needed to get away from here. The storm had kept me off the slopes and away from anyone except Shaun and Graham. Being trapped in here, my grumpy mood only made me more irritable. This had nothing to do with the fact Hannah had ignored every text I sent. Yesterday I gave up. She was determined to stay far away from me, and there wasn’t much I could do about it. Even asking specifically for her to deliver dinner had done nothing. That kid Caleb was the one standing at my door instead.
Damn. I thought I was stubborn, but this girl seriously had me beat.
One girl I couldn’t seem to get to call me back, and one I was trying to get to stop calling. Carrie was as persistent as Hannah was stubborn. Carrie texted me nonstop since the night in the hot tub, hoping I’d be at the party, saying she missed me.
“I’m gonna go take a shower.” Shaun headed for the downstairs bedroom and bath.
“I’m used to your smell.” I snatched the cracker box he left behind.
“I actually have a life outside of you,” Shaun shot back at me. I raised my eyebrows. “Okay, not really, but tonight I’m going out.”
“A hot date or something?” I shoved in a mouthful of crackers.
Shaun shifted his weight, looking down at the ground.
“Oh shit,” I mumbled over the food. “You do.”
“No, not really. It’s a party Joelle is putting on.” Joelle was a coach for one of the highly ranked female snowboarders. She was gorgeous, in her early forties, lean, with light brown hair, hazel eyes. I still could appreciate a stunning woman even twice my age.
“Oooooh, Joelle.” I smirked, taking a swig of water and choking down the crackers.
“Shut up,” he grumbled and moved back down the hallway.
“You need some condoms? Important to be safe,” I yelled after him.
“Fuck you,” he barked before the bathroom door slammed, making me laugh. I wanted so badly for Shaun to be happy. His wife died so long ago, and his kids barely had anything to do with him. My training was all he had going for him. It would be good for him to meet somebody. It was a huge step that he was even interested in someone.
Grabbing a few beers, I plopped down on the sofa and fired up the Xbox. I really didn’t want to go to the party next door. The idea of small talk with some girl, the same old crap, while she giggled at anything I said and touched me, showing her interest sounded boring. All this would just lead to me bringing her back here. I’d been through it hundreds of times. The same dance. It never bothered or bored me before now.
My fingers moved over the buttons, getting lost in the game. Time evaporated. The next thing I knew, Shaun stood before me dressed in nice slacks and a blazer, holding a bottle of wine.
“Looking good, man.” I broke away from the screen for a minute.
“Wouldn’t hurt you to step into the shower and get out of this house.”
I frowned and returned my attention to the video game.
“See you, Rhys,” Shaun called as he walked out the door. “Don’t wait up!”
Good for him. One of us should get laid, and he needed to far more than me.
After a while of playing, a thump tapped at my conscience, tugging my attention away from the TV. It took me a few moments to realize it was music from next door. Voices carried over, telling me the party was in full swing. I peered at the clock. Ten o’clock.
Hell, when did it get so late? With a sigh, I turned off the TV and stared out into village below where a few personal fireworks dotted the night sky.
Shit. Get your ass up, Rhys, and go to the party. It’s pathetic sitting here by yourself.
Though being alone still sounded like the better option, I went upstairs and got into the shower. Most twenty-one-year-old males lived for the constant parties and girls. Not that I wasn’t, but I suddenly felt old compared to people my age. My life had made me age faster, growing tired of things that others couldn’t get enough of. I was kind of a loner, and the walls I built around myself let in very few. After Jonah, I couldn’t trust many people. I found most wanted to use me for the fame of the tragedy, not caring about me at all.
Pulling on nice dark jeans and a black henley, I headed downstairs, directing my feet to the liquor cabinet. I needed alcohol for this. The angry part of me hovered too close for me to be fun and relaxed at a party. I’d end up punching someone instead of partying with them.
Downing a full glass of whiskey, my chest flamed with the burn. I continued to the door, grabbing my
boots and coat.
Yeah. Happy fuckin’ New Year.
Douchebag. Asshole. Drunk.
I moved through the throng of shoulders and people stumbling into me. On my fourth drink, you’d think I would be as happy and drunk as they were.
I wasn’t.
I couldn’t seem to get my head into the crazy fun feeling as everyone else around me had. Especially when Carrie staggered over, clinging to me the moment I entered the door. She was stoned enough that I pawned her off to someone else. Now she was dancing with her girlfriends, swaying her hips, and looking over her shoulder, hoping to catch my attention.
Shit, I was over her. With every drink this became more apparent, not less.
The music pounded against my temple and sweat trickled down my back. I moved toward the kitchen, needing to get away from the horde dancing in the living room or splashing in the hot tub. A dark-haired girl with legs up to her eyes and boobs popping out of her top slithered up to me. Her big pouty lips leaned in for my ear.
“I want to ride Rhys,” she whispered huskily in my ear. This was certainly not the first time I had been bluntly propositioned, but it always raised my eyebrows.
“Really?”
“Yes. I want to ring in the new year riding your dick.”
Wow. The alcohol sizzled up my throat, and I choked on the sip of whiskey trying to make its way down. There was no reason I couldn’t take this girl next door and fulfill her wish. Normally I would be leading her toward the door already.
My feet didn’t move.
“Don’t you want to fuck me?” she purred in my ear.
What the hell was wrong with me? Where did my balls go? Did they shrink up and fall off?
A loud cheer echoed from the front door as two people entered, their hands loaded with trays.
My jaw snapped closed as my focus zeroed in on one of the people entering the house.
“Foooood’s here!” a chorus of slurring drunks yelled.
Air halted in my lungs.
Hannah stepped into the room dressed in her work uniform, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, a few strands loose and curving by her face. A smile hinted on her lips as the crowd cheered at her and Caleb.
Buried Alive Page 17