My Heart to Touch (A Maxwell Family Saga Book 1)

by S. B. Alexander

  I picked up a piece of hay. “Did you know that the word family came into the English language in the fifteenth century?”

  His warm fingers landed on my chin. “Quinn.” He said my name in a husky tone, and my legs began to shake. I’d never fainted before, but my head felt dizzy. “You’re pretty.”

  I stopped breathing, or maybe I was breathing too heavy, or maybe he had me under a spell. When Chase had told me I was pretty, I’d felt special. But Maiken saying the same thing made me feel different, excited. A current of warmth exploded in my belly.

  Maiken pressed his lips into a thin line. “Are you going to be Chase’s girl?”

  That warmth turned to ice.

  I don’t want to be Chase’s girlfriend. I want to be yours.

  Footsteps clobbered up the steps. “Quinn,” Carter called. “Are you up here?”

  I cursed in my head. I never swore. But Carter must have had his Maiken radar on.

  Maiken jumped away from me as if I had some sort of disease.

  “I’m s-sorry about how Carter treated you the other night,” I said in a whisper.

  Carter appraised us as if he were my dad. “What’s going on here?”

  I snarled. “We’re talking.”

  Carter wagged a gloved finger between us, narrowing his coppery eyes. “Looks to me like you two are getting pretty close.”

  Maiken rubbed his hands down his legs. “I should go. It’s getting late.”

  “Damn right it’s getting late.” Carter’s tone was hateful.

  “I’ll walk you out,” I said to Maiken while baring my teeth at my brother.

  Maiken’s long legs ate up the distance to the top of the steps before he barreled down them as if he were being chased by a madman.

  I couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. That madman was none other than Carter. I gripped my hips. “You’re a jerk, Carter.” Then I sprinted out, hoping to catch Maiken before he left.

  “You shouldn’t chase boys,” Carter yelled. “It’s not ladylike.”

  It was all I could do to refrain from giving my brother the finger.

  Maiken had gotten all the way to the parking lot of the farm store by the time I caught up with him.

  “Carter is just being a big brother.”

  Maiken grabbed the handle of the driver’s door. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Then in a flash, he was driving away.

  I stomped back to the barn with the intention of giving Carter a piece of my mind when Bo came barreling up to me. “Where did you come from?” I scratched his ears. “You should be in the house.” I lifted my gaze to find Momma standing on the front porch.

  “I let him out,” she said. “Everything okay between you and Maiken?”

  I jogged to the house, and Bo ran with me. “Carter keeps scaring him off.” I wasn’t one to tattle, but extreme measures called for some sort of help.

  She held out her arm. “Let’s go inside. We can talk over a hot chocolate.”

  No amount of hot chocolate would stop Carter from being my big brother or Maiken from running every time Carter showed up.

  Snow, snow, and more snow. The fluffy white stuff was piling up outside, and school had been canceled once again. The way we were going, we wouldn’t finish school until July.

  I threaded my hands through my hair as I walked into the kitchen. I stood for a moment and listened. The house was quiet. No kids were screaming, fighting, giggling, or even running around.

  I yawned as I padded across the wood floor to the sliding glass door. The Suburban was in the driveway with snow piled up to the top of the tires. The spaces next to our car were clear, and tire tracks were stamped in the snow. Maybe Uncle Martin had taken the family somewhere. But if that were the case, Mom would’ve left me a note, or someone would’ve woken me up to tell me.

  I started to get something to drink when I spied Mom trudging through the snow alongside the garage. She beamed up at me. Her face was rosy, and her pants and boots were covered in snow. It looked as though she had been in a snowball fight.

  I opened the door for her. A frigid wind blew in, causing me to bite my lip.

  She stomped her boots on the carpet before removing her winter gear. “You finally got out of bed. It’s almost lunchtime.”

  After Mom had informed me I didn’t have school that morning, I’d gone back to sleep.

  I rubbed my bare arms as I went over to the fridge. “Where is everyone?”

  She blew into her hands before she filled the teapot with water. “Your aunt and uncle took Charlotte, Harlan, and Maple to the Thompson farm to ride horses. Marcus and Jasper are out exploring the property, Ethan is helping Kade clean out the boathouse, and Emma is watching Quinn skate. She’s such a good skater too.”

  My body instantly warmed at the mention of Quinn’s name. “Quinn?” Then I thought about how I’d run like the wind from Carter. I was embarrassed to even face her. Part of me was a little intimidated by him, but the other part of me didn’t want to lose my job. It sucked knowing that I could lose my job at any moment if I did something stupid like kiss Quinn. When Carter had shown up in the loft, my lips had been so close to Quinn’s.

  Mr. Thompson told you to go after what you want when you were discussing how you liked Quinn. So in a way, you have his approval. Tell that to Carter. I didn’t think he would agree with his dad.

  My mom’s brown eyes had several questions swimming in them. “You like her.” It was more of a statement than a question. “You’ve never had any interest in girls before.” She turned on the gas burner. The tick, tick, tick sound filled the room before the burner ignited.

  I shrugged, even though I knew full well I liked Quinn. It was odd to discuss girls with my mom, only because I hadn’t dated a girl yet, and talk of girls or the birds and the bees had been reserved for my dad.

  Mom’s cold hand on my face brought me back to the present. “Talk to me. Tell me about Quinn.”

  I poured some orange juice in a glass. “There’s nothing to tell.” You’re lying again. Tell her how you love when Quinn stutters and how cute she is when she gets nervous. Tell your mom how something is happening inside you whenever you’re around Quinn or how if you don’t kiss Quinn soon, you might explode—not in the erection kind of way, but in the “I might die” kind of way.

  I knew I was being dramatic, but the feelings were new, odd, and exciting. I had hardly been hungry since I’d met her. I couldn’t stop thinking about the two of us, and I’d lain in bed last night wondering how her lips would feel against mine. Sadly, though, I didn’t know how to kiss, and I didn’t know if Quinn would run if I dared try. I’d listened to my friends back in North Carolina and to Ethan talk about kissing girls—how they taste, how off the charts it was when your tongue touched a girl’s, how a girl’s body felt soft, her hair silky. One friend had even explained a girl’s scent.

  Quinn smelled like cherry blossoms. I knew her skin was soft since I’d touched her chin the night before. I loved how her amber eyes were golden when the light hit her in the right way, and what really got me all tensed up in a good way was when she spat out facts, especially about sports.

  Mom snapped her fingers. “Maiken, where did you go?”

  I needed to shake off Quinn before my jeans got too tight, so I chugged the orange juice. “You said Ethan is helping Kade clean out the boathouse?”

  Mom had a tea bag in her hand. “You should go down and help. It’s going to be a game room for everyone.”

  And hopefully a place where I could go to be alone or maybe invite Quinn to join me.

  I set my glass in the sink. “I’ll go get my coat.”

  The teapot began whistling.

  “Maiken, before you go, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Are you going to play basketball?”

  I hiked a shoulder. “Coach wants me to play point guard.”

  She poured hot water into her mug. “But you’re a shooting guard.”

  If my dad were there, he would say the same thin
g.

  I sat down on a barstool. “Can we move back to North Carolina?” Until that moment, I hadn’t thought about moving back. The idea of returning to my old school and playing for my old team sounded wonderful, though. If you do, then you won’t get to see Quinn. I didn’t know how I felt about that.

  My mom brought her tea over to the island, angling her head. “You don’t like it here?”

  When we’d first arrived, I’d been all for being the big brother and helping my family, who I’d thought would be moping around a lot. I was wrong. They all seemed to be adapting to their new surroundings just fine. Even my brother Ethan wasn’t brooding so much anymore over Dad or his recent breakup.

  “Do you?” I asked. To me, it was more important for Mom to be happy than me.

  “Maiken, my life is you and your brothers and sisters. If they’re happy, then I’m happy, and right now, your brothers and sisters really like it here. But I’ll be honest with you. I wouldn’t mind moving to Georgia to be near Aunt Denise. The cold and snow don’t exactly thrill me either.” She took a sip of her tea. “What’s bothering you, though?” Mom always noticed the tiniest mood swings.

  All of a sudden, tears filled my eyes. “I miss Dad.”

  She skirted the edge of the island and sat on the stool next to me. “And you think moving to the South will take away your pain?”

  I swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”

  Her cold hand covered mine. “Maiken.”

  The softness in her voice, and the tears in her eyes were all I needed to let out all the heartache that had been building. I had mourned when I was alone, but I hadn’t full-on bawled in front of Mom.

  She threw her arms around me. “You can’t hold things in, not something this big.” She sniffled. “You need to talk about how you’re feeling.”

  I buried my face in her chest and sobbed.

  She rubbed my back. “It’s okay to cry and let go. I’m here for you. We all are.”

  But I wanted my dad. I wanted to see him sitting in the bleachers at one of my basketball games. I wanted to talk to him about girls. I wanted to hear him laugh when Harlan, Jr. came running into the room with a frog in his hand. I wanted to see him and Mom together again.

  I eased away. “Are we moving to Georgia?”

  She wiped tears from my cheeks. “We need our own place. Your dad’s life insurance should be coming through soon. But I’m undecided on whether we find a house around here or near your aunt Denise. What do you think?”

  “I liked living in North Carolina. We had a nice life there.”

  She dragged a finger through her dark-blond hair, which was rather curly that morning, then resumed her spot on the stool. “We were happy in North Carolina, but that was with your dad.” She blinked away a tear. “I told you that we took your uncle Martin up on his offer so we could get on our feet. But the real reason is you boys need some structure as you grow into men. Uncle Martin and maybe his sons can help, especially you as the oldest. I’m not saying they’re your father’s replacement, but your uncle has four sons that have turned into good men.”

  I liked Kade. When he’d first come into my bedroom to chat, I thought he would try to fill my dad’s shoes. Hell, I’d thought Uncle Martin would too. But both of them had given me space.

  It was my turn to hold my mom’s hand. “Wherever you decide to buy a house, I won’t give you any trouble. I want to be the man in the family.”

  She smiled, but it never reached her eyes. “You’re a good boy, Maiken. But I want you to play basketball. Your dad would’ve wanted that too. Financially, we’re okay for now, although I will have to find a job later down the line.”

  Before my mom and dad had gotten married, Mom had studied law. But she and Dad had made the decision that she would be a full-time mom when Dad had enlisted in the military.

  She sipped her tea. “I have some calls to make.”

  I kissed her on the cheek. “I love you.”

  She grabbed my arm as I was about to walk away. “Do me a favor. Play basketball.”

  I gave her a weak smile. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to play. I just wasn’t sure if I would be any good as a point guard. More than that, Chase would brag and taunt me about how he’d gotten his way in keeping his position as shooting guard. Then I would throw the first punch. If that happened, I wouldn’t shoot another basketball my entire high school career, which meant no college ball.

  Maybe it was time to put my ego and emotions aside and do the one thing that my dad had wanted me to—play basketball.

  My nose was running like the faucet Liam always left running, something Momma got mad over. His excuse had always been that he was waiting for the water to warm up.

  “Not for five minutes,” Mom had scolded.

  It wasn’t that we were rationing water since we had a well on our property, but the possibility existed that our well could run dry, at least according to Daddy.

  I wiped my nose with the back of my gloved hand. The temps were below zero that day, and aside from my face feeling like a block of ice, my body was rather warm from spinning and gliding around the lake on my skates. I hadn’t tried any of my jumps or even my routine that I had done a time or two when I’d been competing. Today was just for fun, but I did miss skating. I enjoyed the wind at my face, Beethoven or Mozart in my ears, and the sense that I was flying on ice.

  Maybe Momma was right, and I could skate and make valedictorian.

  Emma Maxwell waved from the shore behind the Maxwell estate. I waved back as I skated over to her. She’d been watching me for the last thirty minutes. If I were being honest, I’d been eyeing the boathouse and the entire property to see if Maiken would show up. I’d seen Kade and Ethan go in and out, but no Maiken.

  Maybe he’d gone over to my farm. Before I’d left, Momma had told me that some of the Maxwell kids were stopping by with Eleanor and Martin to pet the horses. Then again, Maiken wasn’t exactly enamored with horses, and his shift at the Christmas tree stand didn’t start until later that afternoon. I also knew he didn’t have basketball practice. Liam had mentioned at breakfast that Coach had canceled practice until Monday.

  I wiped my nose again as I slowed to a stop on the edge of the shore, pulling out my earbuds. “Hey.”

  Emma was wrapped in several layers, including a bright-yellow knitted hat that highlighted her brown hair. She didn’t look much like Maiken. I suspected she’d taken after her dad since her mom had blondish hair that was a cross between Emma’s color and Maiken’s sandy blond.

  Her glossy lips glistened beneath the noon sun. “Wow! You know how to skate. Did you ever compete?”

  “I did up until the eighth grade.”

  “Why don’t you now? You’re really good.”

  So was Tessa. “I want to be a doctor, so school comes first. And colleges don’t offer skating scholarships.” At least the schools I wanted to attend didn’t. Still, she didn’t need to know that skating cost a ton of money that my parents didn’t have.

  “You know, Maiken wants to go into the NBA, but he might not get into college because of his grades.”

  I tilted my head. “Is he failing?” If he was, he couldn’t play sports. The school had a strict policy on grades. Anyone playing a sport had to have a C or higher.

  “I don’t really know,” Emma said.

  The thought of tutoring him flittered through my mind but then vanished. I would stutter the entire time if I tutored Maiken.

  “Can you teach me how to skate?” she asked.

  I was the last person to teach anyone how to skate. Besides, skating was a sport that people had to learn by doing, at least the basics of not falling down.

  “We have an ice rink in town where you can give it a try. I’m not the best teacher, but we can go this weekend if you’d like.” Aside from homework and chores, I didn’t have much else planned. “Celia will probably join us if that’s okay.” Celia loved to boy watch, and the rink was usually packed on Saturday nights.


  She clapped. “I would love that. Maybe I could get Maiken to come.” She waggled her eyebrows.

  I wobbled on my skates, more so when I spotted Maiken swaggering down from the house. My heart pinwheeled, and my mouth became dry.

  Emma followed my line of sight. “Speak of the devil.”

  Maiken’s hair curled around the edges of his navy-blue knit hat. I sighed at how handsome he was.

  “He likes you,” Emma said. “He’s never had a girlfriend or liked a girl before you.”

  I flinched her way, and when I did, my feet came out from under me. Luckily, with my three layers of clothing, I hardly felt the hard surface on my bottom. But I sure felt the heat pinch my cheeks as embarrassment settled in. I dared not look at Maiken, afraid he would be laughing at me.

  “Oh my,” Emma cooed, holding out her hand. “Here, I’ll help you.”

  “I got this.” It was best I pushed myself up on two blades. Otherwise, I would only take her down with me. Besides, I’d had plenty of practice falling and getting up from all the years on skates. I dug the toe of my skate into the ice and pushed upright, quick and fast, before peeking to see where Maiken was or if he was laughing.

  He stood holding on to the rail of the steps leading up to the boathouse, watching me.

  I wanted to look away. I wanted to feel the wind on my face to cool the heat that was building to an inferno from equal parts shyness and embarrassment.

  Emma waved her arm as if she were summoning an ambulance. “Maiken, get over here.”

  I skated in a small circle for nothing more than to shake off my nerves.

  Maiken strutted over. He was wearing jeans and army boots, and his open coat displayed the word “Starlight” on his T-shirt. I wondered what Starlight meant. Maybe it was a band I hadn’t heard of. I did listen to classical music when I skated, but my taste in music as a whole was geared more toward seventies and eighties rock and roll, thanks in part to my granny, who loved that era and genre of music. Often times, Celia laughed at Granny when she had the Eagles playing when we visited.