He thought back to his sudden departure, his words — “I’m sorry, I can’t” and what they might have meant for Alendra. He had no experience in such a situation. Had he really been a bastard? Had he hurt her? How could he show her he cared, that he wanted her to stay, without letting her see his marked back and scaring her to death?
How could he make it up to her?
After a couple of wrong turns, he entered the long Temple Avenue. The monstrous construct stood at its end, square and sinister, half-lost in the ghostly ribbons of a gray mist that rolled in from the sea. He started toward it.
The small present burned a hole in his pocket. Was it a stupid idea? Would she be offended by something so cheap? He slowed, apprehension a stone around his neck. Damn, this was ridiculous. He’d mocked death so many times with her at his side. Being afraid to talk to her, explain, why was it so difficult? He drew a long breath of cold, stinky air. He could do this.
The sign of Cory’s clothes shop flashed erratically, its letters huge and yellow, rising above the gathering mist like the lights of a ship.
He bumped into someone who cursed and shoved him off. He turned to see where they’d gone, and he was shoved from behind. Staggering on his aching leg, listing to one side, he turned, only to be pushed sideways. Dammit, how many were there? A silhouette rose from the fog, holding a knife, and hands pawed at his belt. His gun! He grabbed it, drew it.
“Back off.” Rex screeched inside his head, and he saw red-tinged human forms closing in from either side. He trained his gun on one, then the other, caught in a bubble of silence accentuated by the clipped beats of his heart. Steps behind him, and he turned, sighting down the barrel at another two people. “Leave me alone. I’ve got nothing to give you.”
Laughter behind him, hoarse and male, then a boot smashed into his leg. The Rasmus flew from his hand, clanking to the concrete a second before his knees and hands slammed down, surprising a yelp from his throat. The men crowded him, crimson flashes in the fog. A kick in the ribs left him gasping. He curled on his side, trying to breathe, and found he’d fallen on top of his Rasmus, though what he hoped to do with it against four men wasn’t clear in his mind.
He saw a boot coming at his face and rolled the other way, grabbing his Rasmus and getting to his knees. Dammit, he’d never let any gang surround him like this. He’d always been careful. He was... distracted. Lips thinning, he took aim at the man in front of him, but a kick to his hand sent the gun skittering away.
Elei bent over, cradling his hand, his heart thudding. Shit. He threw himself toward his gun, but someone kicked it away.
Heart sinking to his feet, Elei looked up at the barrel-chested man and swallowed hard. Out of luck.
“Hey!” A girlish voice startled him, and the man froze in the act of lifting his foot to kick again.
Elei knew that voice. “Ale?”
Alendra came out of the mist like a vision from a dream, eyes narrowed, a gun in each hand, both cocked and ready. “Get away from him or, may the gods forgive me, I’ll shoot you all and leave you to bleed to death in the street. I mean it.”
Swallowing his shock, Elei scrambled to his feet, swaying crazily, before his weak leg straightened and took his weight. Rubbing his aching ribs, he limped toward her.
One of the men swore. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Don’t move.” Alendra shot the concrete next to the man’s booted feet, making him cry out in fear. “Or I’ll take better aim.”
Gods, the way her eyes glittered with rage — on his behalf — was beautiful. He wanted to hug her and never let go. She wore a backpack, stuffed to bursting. The tools Kalaes wanted.
“Idiot”, she snapped, but he thought her eyes looked worried. “Don’t you know any better than to walk here with your head in the clouds?”
He did know better. Dammit.
“Come on.” She held his Rasmus, and that explained why she had two guns. “We should get going.”
***
Elei offered to carry the backpack; after all that was what he’d supposedly come for, but she shook her head and handed him his gun instead.
“How are the ribs?” She jumped up the steps into the bus and frowned as he dragged his aching leg up.
He curled an arm around his middle and tried to catch his breath. He’d have a lovely bruise down his side, black and blue. “I’ll live.”
All seats were taken, so they stood among bodies reeking of sweat and swayed to the movement of the bus, their arms brushing each other from time to time. She didn’t move away. Maybe she wasn’t so pissed with him.
Or maybe there wasn’t space for her to move away.
He looked out of the window and started. “Where are we going?”
“Home.” She threw him a quizzical look. “Didn’t Kalaes tell you? I was to bring the stuff home and we’ll take them to the orphanage tomorrow.” She frowned. “Why didn’t he come?”
“Busy.” Elei pressed a hand to his ribs. He didn’t think they were busted, but they still were badly bruised.
“What were you thinking of, ambling along like that in the goddamn East Sector?” She fairly buzzed with anger. “What was so important that—”
“You.”
She stared at him, open-mouthed. “What about me?”
“I’m sorry I screwed up, and I don’t want you to go. I like you and I’ll explain why I left, I’ll explain everything.” He stopped to breathe. “Don’t go underground,” he said, feeling a little faint. “Please don’t go.”
Her eyes were wide and her mouth still hung open. He would’ve laughed if he didn’t feel like he was hanging over a precipice, buffeted by an icy wind.
“Let’s get home,” she said, not meeting his eyes. “Then we can talk.”
The ride seemed to last forever. They trudged through the empty streets to their building, gun on the ready, and up the endless stairs. Alendra unlocked the door and led the way, dropping her backpack on the table.
“Okay,” she said, “let me have a look at those ribs.”
He backed away. “I’m fine.”
“Why do you keep running away from me?” She sounded exasperated and close to tears. “Look, I know I wasn’t the nicest person when you met me, but I thought we were over that.”
“We are.” He licked dry lips. “You’re nice.”
She bowed her head. “Did you mean those things you said on the bus?”
“Yeah. Hell yeah.” His hands were clenched. He tried to open his fists. Desperately, he licked his lips again and tried to explain. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize what I was doing when I left the other night.”
“Why did you leave?” Her lips trembled and all he wanted was to take her in his arms, but he knew that talking was important. Kalaes had said so, and Kalaes was usually right.
“I was afraid you’d see...” He gritted his teeth.
“See you naked?”
“Yes! No.” Why in the hells couldn’t he say it? “Ale... You hate snakeskin.”
“I’m used to it now. I see it on your face every day. It’s part of you.”
It didn’t make it any easier. “Ale...” Gods, he wanted to scream and smash something. “Please stay.”
“You really want that?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. No doubt. “I’ll do anything you want.”
“Then let me have a look at your ribs.”
He flinched back, coming short against the wall. “Not fair,” he whispered.
“I thought you were going to explain to me what happened the other night. Why you left.” She took a step toward him, eyes thoughtful.
“What does it have to do with you staying?” Desperate.
“I need to know why you can’t. Can’t be with me. Can’t lie with me.”
Oh hells. “It’s not that,” he said miserably. “I just can’t... can’t show you my body.”
“Why not?”
“You’ll freak out.”
She was silent for a beat, h
er golden eyes huge. “What’s wrong with your body?”
There was no escape, was there? No way to avoid it. “It’s snakeskin. It’s horrible.” He swallowed hard, but the obstruction in his throat wouldn’t ease. “I bought you something.” He drew the small package of tea herbs from his pocket. “’S nothing much. Just...” He held it out. “Take it.”
She did; her fingers small and delicate as she unfolded it. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes widened when she saw the herbs. “You bought me a present.”
He nodded. “I know it’s not much, but, Ale... Won’t you stay?” He could barely talk, his throat was clogged. He’d managed to keep it together through it all — the aftermath of Pelia’s death and all the revelations about Rex and the underworld, Kalaes’ rescue and near madness, the trip through the nether hells and then blowing up Bone Tower — typical that he should break down over something as small as Alendra leaving.
It’s not a small thing, a voice whispered in his mind. Not small at all.
“Shh.” She came up to him and put her arms around him. He clung to her, feeling tears roll down his face. “I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered.
“But you said you’d go.” He choked.
“I didn’t mean it.” Her hand rubbed soothing circles on his back. “I was upset. I heard Hera say they were going and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I never really wanted to go back down into the earth.”
He was so relieved he felt dizzy. He held onto her slim body, inhaling her freshness. “You’re staying.”
“I’m staying.” There was a smile in her voice. “I really do like you too, you know.”
Oh gods, to be weeping like a child in her arms — as if this wasn’t going to get embarrassing enough, but he was beyond caring. She was staying, and he’d do anything for that, anything. Yet... “You still haven’t seen my back.”
She pulled back, small face pale and serious. She was slightly shorter, her lips level with his chin. Leaning in, she kissed it, then his cheek. “I said I won’t run.”
The door clicked. Kalaes was probably back. Elei passed his arm over his face hurriedly. “You won’t?”
She smiled brilliantly and shoved the small package of tea into her hip pocket. “I promise I won’t run if you don’t.” She winked. “At least not without an explanation.”
“I promise,” Elei said solemnly as Kalaes stepped into the apartment. “Never again.”
***
“I’m so glad you’re not leaving, Ale,” Kalaes said, his voice earnest. He glanced at Elei. “Looks like the two of you made up.”
Alendra hid a smile behind her cup of tea, but her eyes danced. Elei couldn’t help staring at her, thinking of what she’d said, and despite her assurances he still feared. Feared she’d run.
Kalaes looked from Alendra to Elei for what seemed like the hundredth time, his smile slipping, brows drawing together, shadowing his gaze. “Are you sure you’re all right, fe?”
Elei realized he’d wrapped his arm around his ribs again, and hurriedly put it down. “Yeah, fine.”
“You move like you’re hurt.”
Elei shook his head. He’d never been better. He couldn’t help wondering what would’ve happened if Kalaes hadn’t arrived when he had, and a shiver raised the fine hairs on his arms.
“Any trouble getting the tools?” Kalaes asked, before swallowing a slice of blue algae bread almost whole.
“No problem.” Alendra lowered her mug. “What about the children you had sleeping at the orphanage?”
“Two more came in.” Kalaes washed the bread down with water, wiped his mouth. “Soon we’ll need to move in. I’m trying to fix the rooms at the back for us.”
“Any word on funding?” Alendra asked.
Elei leaned back in his chair. He didn’t have any experience with raising children, but Kalaes had insisted that, once the three floors of the orphanage were full, they wouldn’t have much time for work.
A thrill of trepidation shook him. He’d wanted this, had promised Afia to do it, and had been sure that was what he was meant to do. He’d never stopped to think about the practical side of it, the problems and lack of support. The new government was still in the works, and the situation might take a long time to stabilize. For now, they were pretty much on their own.
Kalaes’ casual shrug only confirmed his fears. “Not yet. Hera and Sacmis are pressing for money, and Mantis promised to find something for us, but until things settle...” He frowned.
“What about Jek and Afia. When are they coming?” Elei longed to see them. He felt he wouldn’t relax until he met them again and showed them the orphanage.
“Soon. I heard they were waiting until the roads were safe.” He cast Elei another dark look. “I also heard the police were declaring an emergency alert in the East Sector because of the many killings. Are you sure you didn’t see any of that?”
Elei looked at Alendra and shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to pile up more worries on Kalaes’ shoulders.
Alendra sighed.
“You keep asking about me,” Elei said. “How about you? How are you handling Rex? Is palantin really in check?” He took in Kalaes’ pale face. “You look awful.”
“It really warms my heart to be complimented like that,” Kalaes muttered, arching a dark brow. “I’m okay. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.”
“You drive yourself too hard,” Alendra said softly. “When did you last have a restful night?”
Kalaes only shook his head, ran his fingers through his tousled hair. He stood up, then sat back down, as if he wanted to do something but couldn’t make up his mind.
“Kal?” Elei was getting worried. “What’s the matter?”
The key turned in the lock and the apartment door swung open. Hera and Sacmis walked in, wearing long coats over their gray suits.
“Is this a family reunion?” Sacmis asked, sounding amused.
Elei shook his head, waiting for Kalaes’ reply.
“Nothing. I...” Kalaes sighed. “It’s Zoe. She won’t let me explain.”
“Explain what?” Hera’s dark eyes narrowed.
“I sorta got caught with a girl’s hands on my ass,” Kalaes muttered.
“Sorta?” Hera glared as she took a seat at the table.
“It wasn’t like that, okay? That girl actually grabbed my ass, fe, without asking, and Zoe chose that moment to walk in. She won’t answer my calls, won’t open the door, and I...”
“You’re in love with her,” Sacmis said softly.
“Yeah.” Kalaes dragged the bottle of liquor toward him, hesitated. Come to think of it, Elei couldn’t remember a night since they’d arrived in Artemisia that he’d seen Kalaes without a drink in his hand.
Did he drink himself to sleep every night? Dammit. “It’s not that bad, Kal. You two will make up.”
“Well, it’s not just Zoe. Last time I had kids under my care, I screwed up, got them killed. I can’t help this feeling that it will be the same this time.” Kalaes gripped the bottle. “Between those memories, the trip in the netherhells and back, it’s the only thing that can help me sleep at all.”
Shit. “What about sleeping pills?”
“They make things worse. They put me under so deep I can’t wake from the nightmares, and when I do wake up...” He shuddered. “It’s as if I spent the whole night running.”
“Listen to me.” Elei waited until Kalaes looked up. “You’re not in this alone, okay? I’m the one who promised to do this. The orphanage is my responsibility. We’ll do this together. You don’t have to hold the world on your shoulders, Kal.” It was funny watching Kalaes’ eyes widen. “I mean it.”
“You’re...” Kalaes swallowed hard. “Talking too much, fe. Your facial muscles will hurt tomorrow.” But his eyes were bright.
“I’ll talk to Zoe,” Alendra said. “And don’t forget you saved Elei, time and again.” Her small face was serious. “Never forget that. Tell it to your self every night before
you go to sleep. We went to the netherhells and came back. We are all here, all fine.”
She was giving him a mantra, a weapon to fight the nightmares. Would it work?
Silence lapped at the table legs, rose like a wave, drowning them, but it also felt familiar and warm. A silence full of memories.
“Well, then.” Kalaes got to his feet and flashed them a faint smile. “Doesn’t hurt to try, I guess.”
Elei thought he might give it a try himself.
***
The next day Elei barely saw Alendra, running from work directly to the orphanage only to be redirected by a fresher-looking Kalaes to start painting the second floor. A troupe of children brushed by him on the way down, squealing and laughing. He stared after them, his mouth hanging open.
It was real. It was happening.
Shaking off his amazement, he made his way down and spent long hours painting the walls an anti-mold white. The big roller did the job quickly, but his ribs were killing him and he often had to stop to rest. At some point he thought he heard voices downstairs, but he wasn’t sure. He was almost falling asleep on his feet when Kalaes came down.
“I got a call,” he said, a grin up to his ears.
“Let me guess.” Elei smiled and had to stifle a yawn that threatened to crack his jaw. “From a certain braided girl?”
Kalaes laughed and clapped his back. “Yeah. A certain gorgeous braided girl wants to meet me tomorrow and I’m planning to take the day and the night,” he winked, “to show her how much I appreciate it.”
Elei snorted, and damn if he wasn’t yawning again.
“Time for bed,” Kalaes announced and Elei followed him out, no energy left to speak. Back at the apartment, he looked into the girls’ room and found Alendra fast asleep, an arm dangling over the side of her bed.
He turned away with a smile and fell face-first onto his mattress, barely aware of Kalaes stripping and crawling into the other bed.
Elei fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Rex Aftermath (Elei's Chronicles) Page 28