by Jill Sanders
Chapter Four
Seeing Jamie loaded into an Uber only caused him more distress. He should have taken a break and driven her home himself. But Emily assured him that she’d watch over Jamie carefully.
Still, he made plans to swing by their place after his shift was over. He glanced down at his watch and cursed. Another six hours.
His shift seemed to pass by at a snail’s pace. There was the typical Sunday evening crowd: people who had OD’d, gang members who’d been shot or stabbed, husbands who had injured themselves working with power tools, kids who ran fevers, and others who were just sick or injured.
Blaine knew that his experience in the ER was invaluable. Where else in the medical field could you go from delivering a baby to treating a stroke patient all on the same night.
He’d almost learned as much here at the ER in UM Hospital than he had in his several years of school.
The fact was, Blaine was only a few semesters away from being free. He’d never thought, when he’d started his college journey almost seven years ago, that he’d make it this far.
His father hadn’t believed in him, either. His old man had only fronted the bills for his first year. After that, he’d been on his own. Before he’d met Rafe, he’d struggled with odd jobs when he could afford the hours. His grades had slipped, and his money had quickly run out.
Sitting next to Rafe Turner in class had been the best thing that had happened to Blaine—until the day he’d seen Jamie walk into the classroom.
Blaine wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight. Hell, he was sure the only thing possible at first sight was lust. And he’d had every intention of acting on it that first night.
Again, he was glad he hadn’t acted on his desires and become a one-night stand. After two years of knowing her, he had to admit, he would have missed out.
Shortly after they had met, things with her had started changing. She’d turned from the fun, sexy woman to the woman out to destroy herself.
He knew for a fact that she used Molly on a regular basis when she went out. He didn’t know what other drugs she did or how many men she’d slept with. But, then again, he hadn’t kept track of his own numbers either.
Dancing had opened so many doors for him and not just with dollar signs. Women of all walks of life stuffed his shorts with cash as they groped him. At first, he’d walked around with a permanent boner. But after a year of working at the popular club, he’d gotten used to it and had learned to control himself. For the most part.
But even after all this time, he had yet to learn to control himself around Jamie.
Last night had been… magical. And needed.
He hadn’t lied to her. Sex had been off the table. Especially when he’d realized she didn’t even really understand where she was or who she was with.
But that hadn’t stopped him from letting her rip his clothes off as she stripped for him.
It hadn’t been the first time they’d made out. The first night she’d come to the club, they’d spent half of his shift in the back corner, his hands up her skirt and her tongue down his throat.
He’d been so horny, he’d almost allowed her to slip on his cock, right there in the dark corner of the strip club.
Then she’d gone to the bathroom, and when she’d come back, he could tell she was high.
He may work as a stripper, but the one line he never crossed was with drugs. He’d seen too many times, firsthand, what it did to people.
So he’d peeled himself away from her and gone back to work.
The next month, when she’d showed up in his class, he’d watched her as she took the seat next to him and they had fallen into a friendship.
When his shift was finally over, he drove back to his apartment and showered. Rafe had just gotten back from his classes and was fast asleep on the sofa.
When Blaine walked out, freshly showered, Rafe was awake.
“Where are you off to?” Rafe asked, rubbing his hands over his face.
“Jamie ended up in the ER earlier,” he told him. “I thought I’d head over there and check up on her.”
“I know, Emily told me all about it. It’s almost midnight,” Rafe said after looking at his watch. “Em says she’s sleeping.”
Blaine shrugged. “She’ll be up.”
“I’ll come with you.” He stood up.
“You sure?” he asked as his friend stood up and stretched.
“Yeah, I doubt I can get back to sleep now.”
“You just want to spend more time with Emily.” He nudged Rafe’s shoulder.
“Hell yeah, any excuse,” he agreed.
Rafe was more than Blaine’s friend, he was his sounding board half of the time. The fact that both men were heading for their medical degrees had not only been sheer luck but fate.
Their bond was stronger than any other Blaine had had in his life. He didn’t think of Rafe as a friend, but a brother.
As he drove them across town, he filled Rafe in on what he knew about Jamie’s situation.
“Emily doesn’t use,” Rafe added when he was done.
“Emily is too…”
“Good,” Rafe filled in with a sigh.
Nodding his head, he glanced over.
“What’s driving Jamie?” Rafe asked as they pulled into the apartment parking lot. The place was old and closer to the campus than their apartment was. Which meant that security and peace of mind were lacking. He made sure to glance around before getting out of the car. He knew a couple students who had been jumped a few weeks ago. There was also the nasty business of a serial kidnapper on the loose.
“Why are they still living in this dump?” Rafe asked, getting out of the car. “Jamie’s folks have money.”
“Which she uses as much as she can, just not in this area.” He’d had the conversation more than a dozen times with her.
“She’s stubborn,” Rafe added, falling into step with him as they climbed the outer stairs.
“Which is why she won’t listen to anyone about her… choices,” he added.
“Yeah. We could stage an intervention?” Rafe sighed as Blaine knocked on the door.
“Something tells me that today wasn’t about any of that. There’s something else she’s not talking about,” he said quickly before the door opened.
“I thought you’d be around soon.” Jamie answered the door in cut-off sweats and a silk top that hung off one shoulder. Her long hair hung over the shoulder in a single braid.
She didn’t have any makeup on, and Blaine felt his heart skip a full beat as he looked at her. She was breathtaking when she was dressed up—hair, makeup, clothes—but standing in front of him like this… he lost his heart.
She moved back and let them inside.
“Heard you took a nap today,” Rafe joked.
Jamie rolled her eyes after she’d shut the door. “Yeah.” She leaned against the door. “I’m doing much better.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Rafe stepped towards her and checked her eyes. They were clear and looking at him like she was about to burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”
“You. Both of you.” She stepped around him just as Emily came out of the back room. “You drove all the way over here, just to check up on me?”
“Sure.” Rafe walked over and sat down on their sofa, then pulled Emily down with him, making himself comfortable. “That’s what friends do,” he said, then he kissed Emily.
“You just came over to make out with my roommate,” Jamie accused. “Want something to drink?” Jamie asked him as she walked over to the kitchen.
“I’ll take a beer if you have one,” Rafe called out.
“Water for me.” Blaine followed Jamie into the kitchen. “You shouldn’t be drinking…” His words fell away when she glanced over her shoulder at him and gave him a look that said back off. “As your doctor…” Her look changed to a don’t piss me off look, and he threw his hands up. “Fine, whatever.” Leaning against the bar, he watched her pop the
top on a beer. She handed him a bottled water, then carried the beers into the living room.
“You’re feeling better?” Rafe asked Jamie.
“Yes.” Jamie looked embarrassed. “I took a very long nap.” She smiled. “Back to normal.”
“Molly or X will dehydrate you.” Rafe leaned forward. “Besides causing all sorts of other damage. Elevated heart rates, muscle breakdowns, kidney failure, bleeding in your brain, just to list a few. You were lucky this time.”
Jamie leaned back and tilted her head and remained quiet.
“You’re lucky Blaine didn’t report you,” Rafe continued.
“Shut up,” Blaine added.
“What do you mean?” Emily jumped in, concern on her face. “Report her? For what?”
“What the lab found in Jamie’s system,” Rafe added.
Emily looked over at Jamie. “What did they find?” When Jamie continued to drink her beer, Emily stood up slowly. “You promised me.” Emily set the beer down.
“Relax. It was just this once.” Jamie rolled her eyes. “Besides, that had nothing to do with me passing out.”
“Oh?” Blaine sat forward. “Then what did?”
Jamie downed the other half of her beer in one swallow and stood up. “I need a smoke.” She grabbed her bag and stepped out the front door.
“She smokes now?” Rafe asked.
“Only when she’s stressed.” Emily rolled her eyes.
“I’ll talk to her.” Blaine stood up and followed her outside. He found her on the balcony, overlooking the parking lot. She was leaning against the railing, a cigarette in her hand as she lit the end.
“Here.” He reached up like he was going to light it, but then took the thing and tossed it over the edge instead.
“What the hell?” She pushed him back a step. “That was my last one.”
“Good, then you’re geared to quit. You know what that shit does to you.” He leaned against the railing next to her.
“Ugh!” Jamie tossed up her hands and threw her lighter off the balcony.
“Now you can add littering to your list of sins,” he added dryly.
She turned to him. “Would you just leave me alone.”
“No,” he answered easily.
“Why not? You’re not my father.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“No, I’m not.” The look he gave her had her shifting under his gaze. “I’m your friend. A friend who’s very worried about the path you’re heading down.”
“Like I said, I’m fine. Today had nothing to do with last night.” She turned away and looked down at the apartment’s small swimming pool below them.
“Then what?” He moved closer to her and saw the worry in her eyes.
“My past,” she finally blurted out after a moment of silence.
“What about your past?”
She glanced around them and her shoulders slumped.
“I guess I just freaked out. I mean, one minute I was flirting with Rocko and the next… I had a full-on panic attack.”
He could see the weariness in her eyes and knew that whatever she said next, it was going to be the truth.
“Why? What in your past had you so afraid it could give you a panic attack?” He touched her shoulder.
She looked down. “Hands,” she said softly.
He moved another step closer. “Hands?” He shook his head, not understanding.
She held up her hands and looked at them. “Rocko has big hands.”
He used his finger to pull her chin up until their eyes met. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“It’s too much.” She shook her head, dislodging his fingers. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I thought I could keep it out. Hide from it. Run from it.” She shook her head as she closed her eyes. Another wave of tears slid down her face, breaking his heart as they fell from her chin.
“Talk to me,” he begged as he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. “What’s too much?” He kissed the top of her head.
He held her tighter when he heard the sobs. He didn’t understand half of what she said next because she’d buried her face in his chest. Most of her words were nothing more than a mumble.
The words that he did catch made him tense.
“What?” He pulled her back and looked down at her. “Who drugged you?”
She shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes, then she was laughing uncontrollably.
“After all that, the only thing you can focus on is that part?” she said when she stopped laughing.
He shook his head, his hands still on her shoulders. “I didn’t understand most of what you said.” He tilted his head. “You were mumbling.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she looked at him again, he could tell she was totally calm.
“I tell you I murdered a man, and all you can focus on is the fact that he drugged me first.”
Chapter Five
There. It was finally out in the open. She actually felt better for saying the words.
“I murdered a man,” she repeated a little louder. This time, the relief was even greater.
Seeing the humor in Blaine’s eyes had her temper returning.
“I’m sure you think…” he started, only to stop when she jerked away.
“I dumped his body in the trunk of a car and rolled it into a lake, twenty miles from here.” She crossed her arms over her chest as she watched his eyes, waiting for what she feared was coming. Rejection.
He was silent for a while, which was killing her. Finally, she threw her hands up.
“Well?” she asked.
“I’m thinking.” He leaned against the railing. “When did this happen?”
She leaned next to him and took a deep breath before replying.
“Almost two years ago, in March.” That night had changed her. Since then, she’d done anything to get the images of the battered body from her mind. Anything.
“Who was it?” he asked, not looking at her.
“I don’t know.” She closed her eyes and fought to keep the images at bay.
He turned towards her. “You don’t…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Maybe you can start at the beginning?” He walked over and sat on the top stair, then patted the spot next to him.
She wedged herself next to him, between his broad shoulders and the stair railing.
“It was the first night of spring break, two years ago. Emily had bailed on me and decided to go on that cruise with her dad,” she started. She’d never talked about it before and didn’t know how far she could get before sheer panic set in. But for him, she was willing to try.
“I remember,” he said.
“You and Rafe had to work. I was going to swing by after I met a few friends at Full Throttle.”
“The dance club?”
She nodded and wished for another beer. Instead, she tucked her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
“I got there and had a text message that my friends had bailed on me, as well. So I decided to have a drink and head over to Sunset Strip. I can’t remember much, other than someone buying me a drink. I started dancing and ended up spilling the rest of my drink all over myself. I remember because the guy got mad at me, then… I don’t remember much after that. I woke up in the trunk of a car. My cell phone and purse were gone. I kicked, screamed, did everything I could.” She started breathing a little heavy, and Blaine reached over and laid a hand on her knee. It gave her courage and she continued. “When the car came to a stop, I had a tire iron clutched in my hands. When he opened the trunk, I swung out and didn’t stop until there was nothing left of the guy’s face.” She closed her eyes and could see the scene perfectly. Suddenly, she felt her stomach roll. Rushing to the edge of the railing, she lost what little food was in her stomach over the edge of the balcony into a bush far below.
Hands rubbed up and down her back.
“Easy,” Blaine said softly next to her. “I’m here.�
� He wrapped his arms around her when she was done.
“I need a beer,” she said as she wiped her mouth with the sleeve of the sweater she’d pulled on.
“I’ll get one.” His arms disappeared and, on an almost hundred-degree night, she suddenly felt cold. She started to shiver without his warmth next to her.
She stood completely still while he rushed inside and came back out with two cold beers. He handed her one and took a deep swig of his own.
The cold liquid soothed her throat.
“What did you do next?” he asked when she leaned against the brick wall.
“I found my purse and phone on the floor of the front seat of the car. I almost dialed 911, but something stopped me.” She shook her head, remembering the fear of being locked away for the rest of her life. Of course, she hadn’t been thinking clearly. She was pretty sure the drug he’d given her had caused her mind to go fuzzy. “I looked around, and, after seeing that he’d parked a few feet away from a lake, I pulled his body into the small space he’d crammed me in and shut him in it. Then I turned the car on, set the tire iron to push the gas pedal, put it in drive, and watched it crossed the small grassy shore and land in the lake with a big splash. I stood there until the last of the car disappeared under the water.”
“Have you told anyone else?” he asked.
“No, you’re it.” She took another drink of her beer as she glanced at him. Here it came. He was going to tell her she was a killer and leave forever. She didn’t know if she could deal with it. Losing him, losing Emily and Rafe. Somehow over the past few years, she’d come to rely on their friendship more than any other friends she had.
Instead, he set his beer down and turned to her, taking her hands in his.
“Jamie, from what you’ve told me, it was self-defense.”
“Sure.” She sighed. “I know that now but covering up a murder is still a crime.” She held her breath, waiting for him to start yelling at her.
He was silent again. “Do you remember anything else from that night?”
He wasn’t rejecting her. He was doing nothing but talking low, as if not to spook her. She’d never met anyone as kind as Blaine in her entire life. What had she done to deserve his friendship?