Time’s pace accelerated, and before Kate knew it, another year had passed. It was January 23, 1974, and she had a pounding headache, an exam at six o’clock, and a full day at the office. Three months and she’d be finished with school. Patrick was going to be so pleased. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t be proud of her. He might be annoyed. She swallowed three aspirin.
“I was just thinking, Della, that Patrick would be proud of me when I graduate. I wasn’t sure at first. Once I mentioned taking some night classes, and he didn’t seem to like the idea. He would have liked me to go out to work, but school . . . for some reason, he wasn’t keen on the idea.”
Della grimaced. “Maybe he didn’t want you to be as smart as he is. Maybe he would have viewed that as a threat.”
Kate forced a laugh. “Just because you’re an old married woman now doesn’t make you that intuitive.” She felt instantly ashamed because she’d thought the same thing. “I could never hope to be as smart as Patrick, even if I went to school night and day. He’s got such a technical mind. He’s so smart he amazes me. I used to hear him talking to some of the men, and he sounded like he came from another planet.”
“Ah, yes, but does he have common sense? From what you’ve told me, he lacked that. Don’t let his education take away from your own. I’m proud of you, and so is Donald.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you, Della. If you hadn’t threatened to leave that Christmas, I’d still be lying in bed sucking my thumb.”
“Since we’re in such a complimentary mood, let me say that if it wasn’t for you, I never would have met Donald and I wouldn’t be married today. He’s helped me with my English a lot. I can write it pretty good now. And he’s learning a bit of Spanish, too. I owe you more than I can ever repay, Kate. But most important, I’ve come to love Betsy and Ellie and you and think of all of you as my own. My family. Donald feels the same way. You’re our family, and like he says, we pull together.”
Kate wrapped the plump woman in her arms. “I will be eternally grateful to you and Donald,” she murmured, her eyes misty.
“Get on with you or you’ll be late. I have to listen to Ellie’s spelling words before I drop her off at school.”
“I’ll see you tonight. I’ll probably be home early, since I just have to take the exam. Thanks for offering to help out. I might make it by dinner if you don’t serve till seven. What’s on the menu?”
“Hot Mexican chili.”
Kate grinned. “My tongue is burning already. Have a good day, Della.”
During the day, Kate took six more aspirin, received several compliments from her boss, and studied for her exam during her lunch hour while she nibbled on an apple. When she left the office at five-fifteen, she took two more aspirin.
On the ride to the college she ran possible test questions over and over in her mind while she listened to the news on the radio. Her headache disappeared like magic the moment she heard the news commentator say, “President Nixon will address the nation this evening.” He went on to speculate as to what the President would say. Kate knew in her gut what he was going to say, had prayed for it faithfully.
Her mind sharp and clear, Kate sailed through the exam and finished at exactly six-thirty. She rushed to the parking lot and drove home in a frenzy of excitement. “Did you hear the news?” she cried when she entered the kitchen.
“Kate, don’t get your hopes up,” Donald cautioned.
“Things are finally going to move!” In her excitement she failed to see the worried look Donald and Della exchanged. The girls were hyper, picking at their salad and chili.
“Can we stay up?” Betsy pleaded.
“Will they talk about Daddy?” Ellie queried. “I’ll hold his picture when they talk to us. Is that okay, Mommy?”
“Of course it’s okay. Finish your dinner, take your bath, and we’ll have a nice fire while we wait for the program. Maybe hot cocoa with marshmallows. I feel so good about this. I mean, I feel really good. You’re going to stay to see the program, aren’t you?” she asked Donald. Though they were married, the Abbotts often took their meals with Kate and the children. Della cleaned up and Donald took her for a walk. They always ended with an ice cream cone on their walk home, to their own little cottage less than two blocks from Kate’s apartment.
“Of course we’re staying,” Donald said. “I’ll take the trash out and bring in some firewood. I’ll have a blaze going as soon as the tykes are ready.” To Betsy he said, “I think I finally figured out how we can get smoke to come out of your volcano for your school project. I set everything up down in the basement while you were in school. Now move your tushie so you can take a look at it,” he said fondly.
Bless your heart, Donald, Kate told him silently, her eyes warm as she watched him with her children. Thank you, God, for allowing these wonderful people to come into our lives. Then, uninvited, a nasty thought crept in. Patrick would call Della and Donald intruders. He’d say he appreciated their help and then turn to her and say something like, What’s in it for them? She pushed the thought back into the recesses of her mind.
Ellie started to cry. “I didn’t get an A today.”
“What did you get, Ellie? Did you spell ‘bear’ wrong?”
Ellie hung her head, tears dripping down her cheeks. “Uh-huh. I didn’t get a star, I got a rainbow.”
“Spell ‘bear’ for me now,” Kate said, smiling.
“B-E-A-R. Bear.”
“That’s good, honey. Now you’ll never spell it wrong again. Sometimes you have to do something wrong before you can do it right. A rainbow is good. I love rainbows. Remember the time you and Betsy planted a rainbow of flowers around the house? All the neighbors said how beautiful it was, and we even sent Daddy a picture of it. Scoot now, into the bathroom.”
“You fibbed to her, Mommy,” Betsy said. “Everyone in school knows rainbow stickers aren’t as good as gold stars. You . . .” She thought for just the right word. “You mollified her.”
“So I did.” Kate’s voice was sharper than she intended. “Everyone can’t be number one. Everyone can’t get an A.”
“Daddy said you can do whatever you want to do if you want to do it bad enough. I want to get all A’s so he’ll be proud of me. Ellie doesn’t care. Ellie’s sloppy. I never get rainbows,” she said loftily. “I don’t like rainbows.”
“Then it’s your loss, Betsy. Do not make fun of your sister. She’s doing the best she can.”
Betsy always had to have the last word, just like her father. “She’s not doing her best, and when Daddy comes home, he’ll know it. I’m going to tell him. Ellie’s a baby. You even treat her like a baby.”
“I don’t want to hear any more talk like this, Betsy. You need to be kinder to your sister.”
“She needs a good slap,” Betsy said, stomping out of the room.
Kate threw her hands in the air. “Now what do I do?”
“Nothing,” Donald and Della said in unison. Della added, “She’s upset because Friday is the student-father breakfast, and of course she doesn’t have a father to take. Donald offered to stand in for Captain Starr, but she refused. Said it was cheating, and he was too old to pretend to be her father. Maybe you shouldn’t make her go to school on Friday, Kate.”
“She said that?”
“Lately she’s been saying a lot of things like that,” Donald said. “The children at school talk about their fathers a lot and what they do with them on the weekend, that kind of thing. She does love her father. Ellie just sails along. Actually, even though Ellie is younger, I think she has a better grasp on everything.”
“Well, we’ll just see about that,” Kate said, and headed down the hall to the girls’ bedroom. She was angry now because her headache was back. When she closed the bedroom door, she could hear Ellie splashing in the tub.
Betsy’s face was sullen. She was sitting stiffly on the side of the bed. “Are we going to have one of those talks?”
“Yes, we are. For starters, I’d l
ike to say it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen a smile on your face. You’re being very fresh to your sister, and I do not care for your belligerent attitude. Worst of all, you’ve been unkind to Donald and Della. I need to remind you that without them we might be sleeping in the park in a tent. Donald is helping you with your school project, taking time out of his day to make things better for you. He doesn’t want to be your father, he just wants to stand in your father’s place for you until your daddy gets home. I think that’s wonderful. I expect, and will settle for nothing less than, your full cooperation in this matter. You will go to breakfast and you will take Donald and you will have a smile on your face, and from now on your attitude had better change. It has not been easy for any of us, but we’re all trying to live normally. I would appreciate your help. Don’t make me resort to other measures, measures neither of us will like. Now, let’s see a smile.”
“My friends will laugh at me. Donald is too old to pretend to be my father,” Betsy stormed.
“If your friends laugh at you, then they aren’t your friends. I would assume by now you’ve explained to all of them about your dad. Donald is not going to pretend to be your father. He’s going to be his stand-in. Your teacher will explain that to the class. I can call her and have a talk with her if you like.”
“No, I don’t want you to talk to the teacher, I’m not a baby.” Suddenly she was a little girl again, throwing her arms around her mother and sobbing. “What if Daddy doesn’t come home and Donald dies because he’s old? Then who’s going to stand in for him?”
“Don’t talk like that, Betsy. Your daddy is going to come home. I don’t know when, but he will. He promised me. Your dad never broke a promise. He promised you, too. We can’t ever give up hope, even when things get dark and it gets harder and harder to believe. We have to keep going. I won’t ever give up hope. I can’t make you believe, only you can do that. Now, what’s your decision?”
“Okay,” Betsy said, blowing her nose. “But it was your decision. You said so when you first came in here. I was going to do it anyway. I don’t want to hurt Donald’s feelings. It scares me, Mommy.”
“What scares you, baby?”
“What if I forget Daddy? I like it when Donald hugs me and sings those silly songs. I like it that he’s helping me with my project. What if I start to like him more? What if he dies and leaves me with no one to hug me and sing to me?”
“Oh, Betsy, you will never forget your daddy, I won’t allow you to forget. It’s okay to love Donald, Daddy would approve. And Donald isn’t going to die. He has Della to take care of him. You don’t think for a minute she’s going to let anything happen to him, do you? Not on your life. Now, let me tell you what I think you should do. I think you should find Donald. If he’s outside, put on your coat and find him. Give him one of those big hugs that make your ribs ache, and tell him you would be honored to take him to the father-daughter breakfast. If you don’t really feel that way in your heart, then I won’t expect you to do it. I’m going in the bathroom to wash Ellie’s hair. You sit here and think about it for a few minutes, okay? Let’s see that famous Betsy smile Daddy said was as bright as sunshine.”
“I don’t have to think about it. I’m going to do it. Right now. Thanks, Mommy.”
“My pleasure. That’s what mommies are for.”
Betsy ran down to the basement, words trembling from her mouth like a waterfall. “Donald, Donald, I need you to go to the breakfast with me. Mommy explained how you’d be Daddy’s stand-in. Will you go with me?” Behind her back she crossed her fingers, waiting for Donald’s reply.
Donald pretended to think. “Do you have to wear a sign that says I’m a stand-in?”
“No. Everyone knows about my daddy. I’m going to say you’re sort of my grandfather. How old are you, Donald?” she asked fearfully.
“Old enough to be your grandfather, that’s for sure.” Donald chuckled. “I like the idea of acting the part of a grandfather. Is there anything special I need to do besides get all spruced up?”
“Nope. Just walk beside me and sit next to me when we eat. You have to get up and say your name after I introduce you. How old do you have to be to die?” she blurted.
Taken aback, Donald shifted the glasses on the bridge of his nose. Something important was being said here, and he needed to pay attention. “Honey, you can die at any age. Babies die sometimes. Youngsters in high school die. Young men in war. It would be nice to think only old people like me die after we lived our life, but it doesn’t work that way. Is there a reason you want to know?”
“I don’t want to be an orphan. I’m used to you now. I have real grandparents, but they don’t bother with me and Ellie. Daddy’s father is really old. Mommy says he can’t remember things, and my other grandparents are too busy with my great-grandparents. Everybody forgot about us but you and Della. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Sometimes I get scared.”
Donald took a deep breath before he picked her up and set her on his knee. “Honey, it’s okay to be scared. I get scared sometimes, too. So does Della. Your mom has been scared for a long time. But we have to live our lives, pray and hope for the best. We’re a family now, and family members take care of each other.”
Betsy snuggled into the crook of Donald’s arm. “When my daddy comes home, will you still stay with us? I wouldn’t want you to leave. I love you. I love Della. I don’t want to miss you and Della the way I miss Daddy. I don’t want to do it two times. Promise me you won’t die, Donald. Please promise,” Betsy said tearfully.
“Honey, I can’t promise something like that. No one knows when they’re going to die. Only God knows that. But I’m not going to die right now, that’s for sure. I’ll probably be hanging around until you get out of college. That’s a pretty long time, if you ask me. By then,” he said cheerfully, “you’ll be pretty darn sick and tired of me hanging around.”
“No, I won’t. I always want you to be here. My daddy is going to love you and Della. I betcha he gives you a present for taking care of us. What kind of present do you think it will be, Donald?”
Donald laughed. “A big red wheelbarrow.”
“A shiny one,” Betsy chirped.
“With big green tires,” Donald said.
“And we’ll put a horn on the handle. I’m going to write Daddy a letter this weekend and tell him all about Christmas, and I’ll tell him about the wheelbarrow.”
“That’s a mighty good idea, little lady,” Donald said, hugging the little girl.
“Mommy’s all better now. Donald, can you keep a secret?”
“I’m the best secret keeper in the whole world,” Donald said, his face solemn.
“Alice Baker told me when you die they put you in a box and close it. Then they put the box in a hole in the ground and cover it up with dirt. You can’t get out. You can’t ever wake up again, and you turn to bones. People plant flowers over the hole and then they put up a statue of an angel that has your name on it. Alice is so smart she gets all A’s. She’s the teacher’s pet, too. She said her grandmother died and that’s what happened to her. Is that true?”
Donald’s jaw dropped. Then, instead of answering her question, he asked one of his own. “Is that what’s been worrying you?”
“Uh-huh. Mommy wouldn’t get out of bed. She started to look funny and she didn’t smile or laugh. I don’t know how to be an orphan. I don’t want to be an orphan. Ellie will cry all the time if that happens. Daddy said I was supposed to look after her. If ... I wouldn’t be able to do that if we were orphans.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. Your mother is going to be just fine. She wasn’t feeling like herself for a while back then, but she’s okay now. Now, you have to promise me you aren’t going to worry about things like that anymore. The minute you start to worry, you come to me and we’ll talk about it. When you talk about things, it helps and it doesn’t seem so bad. I bet you even feel better now.”
Betsy smiled before she wrapped h
er arms around his neck and squeezed him as tight as she could. “I love you, Donald. I love you almost as much as I love my daddy. I have to love him more because he’s . . . he’s ... personal.”
“I understand.” Donald chuckled. “Now that we have all that serious stuff out of the way, let’s get down to the real important things like getting this volcano to belch smoke.”
“Is it going to be the best project in class?”
“Pretty darn close, Betsy, pretty darn close.”
“I love you, Donald, I really do.”
Later, when they were settled in front of the television, Della said, “That man is walking on air. I couldn’t see his face for his smile. I don’t want to know what you said to Betsy, but whatever it was, she seems to be her old self. I’ve never seen Donald so happy. He truly wants to go to the breakfast. He polished his shoes and he’s getting a haircut tomorrow. He wants me to take his picture when they walk out of the house.”
“Betsy’s afraid that Donald will die because he’s ‘old,’ ” Kate said to her, “and there won’t be anyone to hug her or sing to her. That’s all it was, Della. She loves him and is afraid she might start to love him more than she loves her daddy. Explain that to Donald later, okay?”
“There’ll be no living with him if I do. He’s already like some prancing peacock, but I’ll do it because he’s such a good man. Kate, we are one lucky family.”
“I know. Another minute here and we’ll both be slobbering. Another crisis has passed. May they all be solved so easily.”
“Time for the cocoa,” Donald said, joining them. “It’s almost nine o’clock.”
“Call the girls in and let’s toast some marshmallows.”
Della pointed to the hearth, where long sticks and bags of marshmallows were waiting. “Donald got them ready.”
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