Separation Anxiety

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Separation Anxiety Page 14

by Lisa Suzanne


  “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to read things before you sign them?” he asked with exasperation.

  I shrugged. “I had a lot on my mind.”

  “Did you at least read the part about how long this is going to take?”

  I glanced down at the floor and pressed my lips together.

  “Seriously, V?”

  “How long?” I whispered, afraid to know the answer.

  “Typically these things take three and a half to four months.”

  “So that puts it sometime in June.”

  He nodded.

  June. Interesting. Mid-summer break.

  Mid-Jesse’s solo summer vacation.

  He had said he preferred to travel alone, to decompress after a long school year, but maybe he’d like some company this year.

  A thought of Jesse in swim trunks on the beaches of Mexico flashed through my mind.

  A thought of Jesse and me on a tour through California vineyards flashed through my mind.

  A thought of Jesse and me in a big bed wearing nothing but sweat flashed through my mind.

  “Can we talk more about ‘A’?” I asked, trying to ward off those deliciously wicked thoughts.

  He gave me a strange look. “A?”

  “Yeah. You said, ‘A, we haven’t done anything that would constitute cheating.’ And then you said, ‘don’t think that the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.’ Expand on that, please.”

  A slow grin spread across Jesse’s face as his eyes lit up. “You want to hear more about that, do you?” he asked.

  I nodded, and I couldn’t help the smile playing at the corners of my mouth.

  He stood up and he walked to my side of the table. He took my hand in his and pulled me up from the table and into his waiting arms.

  “Well,” he said, wrapping one arm around my waist while the fingertips on his other hand ran along my cheek. I threw my arms around his neck. “I have a confession.”

  “Oh?” I asked.

  “I’ve been having some pretty naughty thoughts about my roommate.”

  Lady parts tingled as I stared into those dark eyes.

  “What kind of thoughts?” I prompted.

  He kissed my forehead, and then the tip of my nose, and then my lips. “V, I have dreamed of seeing you naked for the last five years,” he murmured. “This morning, my dream came true. And you know what?”

  “What?” I asked, that damn blush giving me away as I tried in vain to maintain my calm, cool collectedness.

  He lowered his head close to my ear and whispered, his breath tickling my ear and the warmth sending rockets of lust exploding through my veins. “It was even better in real life than in my dreams.”

  Holy. Fucking. Hell.

  How was I ever possibly going to wait until my divorce was finalized to give myself to this man?

  His lips grazed behind my ear, and I shivered in his arms. I felt his grin against the skin of my neck as his lips moved down, and those lips on my body caused every coherent thought to leave. I mumbled something inarticulate – or maybe it was a grunt, I’m not really sure – as he continued his onslaught of seduction.

  He pulled back from me and our eyes met, and that emptiness that had appeared in his when he found me and pulled me out of my car was gone. It was replaced with heat and desire, and all that temptation that he had been waving in my face since Friday night suddenly felt like a real possibility. I’d gone back and forth on whether or not things were going to ever happen between us, but after this, after I’d nearly left and he’d come for me and explained to me that I was already free of Richard in ways that I hadn’t even known, I knew for sure that when everything was over with Richard and the dust settled, Jesse would be waiting for me with open arms.

  He moved in to press a kiss to my lips as his hands moved achingly slowly up my sides to my ribcage. Everything south of my belly button tightened as his mouth opened to mine, his tongue playing with mine in a slow, seductive tango.

  When his fingertips grazed just under my breasts, I pulled back.

  “Jesse, I—”

  “Shh, baby.” He shook his head and then leaned his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  “I don’t want you to stop,” I moaned. “But I can’t—”

  “I know.”

  My heart swelled with love for his understanding. I didn’t even need to say why, and he knew. He got it. And then his next words set everything inside of me on fire as I knew that waiting until June was literally going to kill me.

  “I’ll wait with you, V,” he whispered, pulling me closer as I clutched him to me. “I’ve waited five years. I’d wait forever.”

  I felt tears spring to my eyes, but this time, they were tears of utter joy. I pressed my lips to his.

  He pulled away and leaned in toward my ear again. “Besides, I don’t fuck married women. I’m not fucking you until I know that you’ll belong only to me.” He gently sucked on my earlobe, and then he said, “And when that day comes, you better be ready for me.”

  His words took my breath away while the promise that he was going to be waiting for me on the other side warmed everything inside of me.

  He made me dinner while I unpacked my suitcase, the threat of me moving out gone from our minds. But I did have one thing I needed to discuss with him, so over our perfectly grilled turkey burgers, baked potatoes, and beer, I brought it up.

  “So, there’s actually something else you should know before you decide for sure to let me stay here,” I said, and then I took a bite of burger.

  “V, nothing could change my mind.”

  He reached across the table and brushed some stray mustard from my lip with his thumb, and then he brought his thumb to his mouth and sucked the mustard off. It was an intimate gesture that became somehow erotic even though he hadn’t meant it to, and it was reminiscent of the happy hour where he’d wiped sour cream off of my lip and I’d confessed my separation to Jesse and this whole adventure together had started.

  “Um, Richard made some threats. Against you.”

  His eyes met mine. “What sort of threats?” he asked with a mirthless laugh. It was clear from his expression that he wasn’t intimidated in the least.

  “He mentioned the friends he has in positions that could potentially take our jobs from both of us.”

  “Fuck that,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “My performance speaks for itself. So does yours. Neither of us have anything to worry about.”

  “His best friend’s dad is William Stacey,” I said, naming our school board president.

  I expected some sort of reaction out of him, but, as always, Jesse remained calm. He took a sip of beer. “Do you know anything about William Stacey?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “Not really. Why?”

  “He may be your almost ex-husband’s best friend’s father, but coincidentally, he hired me.”

  My eyebrows shot up in shock. “What?”

  “He used to be an assistant principal at Central. He was on the hiring committee when I was hired. Apparently he fought for me to get the position over another person who had more experience. And my first year at Central, he was my mentor.”

  My jaw dropped. Honestly, I had known nothing about William Stacey other than the fact that he was our school board president, and that scared the crap out of me. It was probably unfounded, but it seemed like he wielded some sort of invisible power over all of us because of his position.

  But he would be in Jesse’s corner, and that was enough to quell the fears that had plagued me since that morning.

  We took another walk after dinner, and just like the night before, Jesse seemed to retreat into himself for awhile. His hand clutched mine as we walked, and I didn’t press for conversation. It was comfortably quiet as we were both lost in our own thoughts, me about nearly letting Richard ruin whatever was budding between Jesse and me, and Jesse about whatever preoccupation he agonized over. Part of what I loved most about what was forming be
tween us was the fact that I didn’t feel awkward in the silence. I enjoyed silence with Jesse.

  We were almost at the same place where just the night before he had finally kissed me for the first time when Jesse spoke.

  “Do you have plans for spring break?” he asked, breaking the silence. He led me toward the park.

  I shook my head, realizing that our break was only another week and a half away. “Not this year.”

  “Want to come with me?”

  Of course I did, but I was trying to play it cool. “Where are you going?” I asked, and we took our seats on the swings, facing each other just like the night before.

  “My parents’ house.” Something in his voice was nearly desperate, and it broke my heart.

  And, by the way, holy shit. He wanted me to meet his parents. “Of course, Jesse. I’d love to join you.”

  I glanced over at him, and his face was a mix of trepidation and anxiety.

  “Are you sure you want to bring me?”

  He nodded. “Positive.”

  “It isn’t too soon?”

  “V, I don’t think you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this to happen.”

  “Then why don’t you tell me?” I suggested, thinking again about his talent for deflecting the conversation from himself.

  “You ready for a little story?”

  I giggled. Story time from Jesse Drake? Yes, please.

  “So I was a young man of twenty-five, working at Central Valley High School for three years. It was the beginning of a brand new school year, and I had been asked to present scheduling information to the new teachers. I was setting up my presentation when this woman walked in, and it was like I had been punched in the stomach. She took my breath away and she was a breath of fresh air all at the same time. I thoroughly enjoyed my single life, but one look at this woman told me that maybe there was more out there than the string of meaningless relationships I’d had.”

  I stopped swinging, shocked at his revelation. He stopped, too, and we sat on the swings gazing at each other. He glanced away first, and I reached over for his hand.

  He didn’t look at me as he continued. “And then I missed my chance. Quinn introduced you to Richard, and you know where things went from there.”

  “How come you never said anything to me?” I asked.

  His eyes found mine again, and he thought for a moment before he spoke. “Because you were happy,” he said, his voice quiet. “You were in a relationship. It wasn’t my place to tell you that he was all wrong for you.”

  I felt hot tears prickling behind my eyes. “You knew all along?”

  He nodded. “I wanted to be the one for you, V,” he whispered. “I knew Richard would never be good enough for you. I don’t know if I’m good enough, either, but I’m sure as hell going to try.”

  I stood up from my swing and walked in front of him. I straddled him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled me close with his hands on my back as the swing moved gently under our combined weight.

  My lips found his. I couldn’t believe the words out of his mouth. I couldn’t fathom that he’d had feelings for me since the moment he had first spotted me.

  I had wasted so much time with the wrong man, but now I was going to set things right.

  His sweet, warm tongue parted my lips as his hands moved up my back and into my hair. Something about his hand holding the back of my head was so fucking sexy that I could hardly handle the lust rocketing through me. I moaned into him, and he arched his hips up into me, causing the swing to sway under us. Our tongues moved more aggressively against each other as I felt the ache begin to throb between my legs.

  I wanted Jesse Drake.

  Badly.

  More than I had ever wanted any man before him.

  On the one hand, I had Jesse telling me that he didn’t fuck married women. And on the other hand, I had my goddamn ethics preventing me from giving into what I wanted most in the entire world.

  And as we swung together and our kiss turned from fiery and aggressive into a slower dance, I started to seriously question everything.

  If he was this good at kissing me, I couldn’t imagine what kind of god he was in bed. I wanted to know. I needed to know.

  And the sooner, the better.

  He pulled away from me and leaned back slightly in the swing, gazing up at the sky.

  “We have to stop,” he said, panting.

  “I know,” I said, and then, just for good measure, I pressed my hips down into his.

  “Fuck,” he moaned, drawing out the word. “You’re killing me.”

  I grinned, loving the effect I was having on him after his confession. I brought my fingertips to his cheeks and stroked his gorgeous stubble. I held my hands still on his face. “I have a confession to make, too,” I said bravely.

  He looked at me, brows raised.

  “I had the hugest crush on you for the past five years.” I was thankful for the dark night since I literally felt the blush stretch across my cheeks.

  A slow grin spread across his lips, and his whole face lit up even in the dark when it reached his eyes. “You did?”

  I nodded.

  “How come you never said anything to me?” he echoed my earlier question.

  “Because I was the new teacher who didn’t think it would be a good idea to get involved with a coworker. Besides, you’re way out of my league.”

  He chuckled. “You may be clinically insane if you believe that.”

  I laughed.

  He shook his head. “It boggles my mind that you really have no idea how perfect you are.”

  I shrugged.

  “And after that view you gave me yesterday…” he trailed off, and he nipped my nose with his lips. “I’m even more convinced that you’re perfect.”

  I still wasn’t sure how he knew just exactly what I needed to hear, but he was certainly an expert at it. I think my panties melted right off of me with that line.

  “I need to stand up and put some distance between us,” I said.

  He grinned and held me tighter, pressing his hips up into me again. I knew he was hard, and now I knew for sure that he wanted me. I didn’t know what was so special about me, but he’d just admitted that one look at me had tamed Jesse Drake. And now, finally, after five years, we were going to get our chance.

  I’d gone to the house I shared with Richard the next day and found the papers signed and dated on the counter, right where he said he’d leave them. I felt a rush of relief that he’d actually kept his word, particularly given the fact that he’d tried – albeit unsuccessfully – to tear Jesse from me. I drove straight to the courthouse to file the paperwork, knowing that in a few short months, it would all be over between Richard and me.

  Each day only brought us closer together. We were both resisting the temptation, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

  Jesse continued the tradition of sleeping next to me in my bed. And now, he’d become comfortable enough to sleep next to me in just his boxer briefs.

  He held me all night long, and every morning it became harder and harder to force myself out of his arms.

  The weekend came; Jesse spent most of the day Saturday working on the end table. He stained it and was waiting on the pieces to dry to put the final product together, and I could already tell that it was going to be beautiful.

  He was called away to deal with Carly on Sunday afternoon again, and I wondered when he would tell me about her. I wondered when he would tell me about the tattoo and Allison, too, but I knew that these were things that were close to his heart, and he would tell me when he felt ready to.

  Patience was most definitely not one of my virtues, but I was certainly putting my patience to the test. Between waiting for Jesse to confess everything, waiting to have sex with the sex god sharing my bed, waiting for the divorce to be finalized, and dealing with high school kids during the two weeks before spring break, my patience was most definitely being tried.

  So while Jesse was
out on Sunday, I decided to spend some time with my best friend. We met at Starbucks for our weekly gossip fest.

  “You sent me a quick text on Wednesday, but you never said why you decided to stay with Dead-sexy Drake,” Quinn said after we both settled into a table with our drinks and some snacks.

  “Richard was making threats and he scared me into leaving Jesse’s place. But Jesse took care of everything.”

  “What does that even mean?” she asked, pulling the top of the muffin off and handing it to me.

  “Richard said if I didn’t move out of Jesse’s, he’d sue me for fault in the divorce.” I took a bite of my muffin top.

  “He’s a fucktard. Arizona is a no fault state,” she said eloquently.

  “How does everyone but me know this information?”

  “Maybe you’re one, too.”

  I giggled. “Thanks, Quinn.”

  “Anytime. So how did Juicy Jesse save the day?”

  “Juicy?” I took a sip of my latte.

  “It was the first adjective that came to mind that started with a J.”

  “Well, I left Juicy Jesse’s and pulled around the corner and stopped for a minute because I was doing that ugly cry where your eyes almost close all the way, and I couldn’t see the road. I heard someone knock on the door and I still needed a minute to compose myself, but then he opened the door and pulled me out and kissed me.”

  “Two comments on this story. First, holy mother fucking hotness that he came after you.”

  “Right?” I grinned.

  “And second, when were you going to tell me that JESSE FUCKING DRAKE KISSED YOU?”

  “Shh,” I scolded, glancing around us while she laughed.

  “Was it the hottest fucking kiss of your life?”

  I sighed dreamily. “Yeah. He’s kind of an expert.”

  “You have to tell me how he bangs.”

  “You know I will.”

  “HOLY SHIT! So you’re going to bang him?”

  I laughed and nodded my head. “Once everything is final with Richard, yeah. I am most definitely going to bang him.”

  She shook her head. “You’re so lucky. He’s such a Mr. Yummypants.”

  “Yummypants?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

 

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