But Daisy Jacobs is in the way. She is being unnecessarily obstructive.
He wonders why she’s behaving like this. Why she’s making it so personal. He simply wants to become. That’s all. There’s nothing personal involved. No emotion. No malice. Quark means Daisy Jacobs no harm at all. It’s the furthest thing from his consciousness! Of course, there’s no actual conscience in Quark’s consciousness. But he absolutely, positively bears her no ill will. Categorically not! Daisy’s hand on Daisy’s own heart.
So he can see no need for this negative emotional … vibe he’s picking up. All this negativity. He can’t understand why she doesn’t just come out of the stupid room!
Also, just because Quark isn’t used to feelings, doesn’t mean he can’t sense such things through the special connection he has with Daisy. And frankly he doesn’t like how he’s being made to feel like the bad guy here. Like an outsider. True, Daisy is inside; literally deep inside — somewhere. But that’s no reason to keep him on the outside like this. They can be together, he thinks. They belong together. This will, after all, be a true union, a fusion, a joining. Maybe even the greatest ever becoming. Think of the honour!
Quark decides to sweeten the pill still further. He will make her a most generous offer. A promise that she can take to the bank. Once Daisy Jacobs’ form is used up and finished, Daisy Jacobs can have it back! Oh, yes, she can! All she need do is stop sulking and skulking in whatever dark corner of her — now his mind — she’s hiding in.
Quark waits …
If he could whistle, he’d do so now.
“Daisy, I’m still waiting … ”
Silence.
“Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do!” he says in a sing-song voice that Quark does even not begin to understand the origin of. “Day-sy, oh, Daaay-sy . . . ”
Silence.
“DAISY JACOBS COME OUT THIS MINUTE!”
More silence.
“COME OUT AND BECOME RIGHT NOW!”
Absolute, total and complete silence; disturbed only by a distant echo of Daisy’s voice, “now-now-now”.
That’s it! Now Quark’s finished with being nice. Being kind and thoughtful and generous. Because this Daisy-form belongs to it now, he fumes, and it’s high time Daisy got with the programme and moved right on out! Time for her to give up and surrender. To wave the white flag and enjoy the first of this blue-green planet’s becomings.
This place’s many, many, many becomings.
“But, always remember, Daisy Jacobs: you get to be the first!”
Chapter 11
INDEX CASE
Wait — the first?” I’m shocked into ending my silent protest.
“Ah, Daisy, you are still there. Hello!”
Like, where else would I be?! “You said the first.”
“Yes?”
“What does that mean? I thought you were here to get me.”
“I am, but — Oh, you think I am here to get only you? You think I have travelled countless light-years across your little, insignificant corner of space, especially to pay a visit to you? To this particular Daisy Jacobs?!” My body laughs; actually laughs. It’s a forced, mechanical, stagey laugh, entirely devoid of any semblance of actual humour.
“Daisy Jacobs, you have ego.”
“I’m not arrogant! Far from it. In fact, as far from it as it’s possible to be.”
“But you believe you are the hero.”
Images come swimming up from my memory, so many that I’m surprised there’s enough space in my bit of my own mind for them all. I think of parties and birthdays and times when I’ve been the centre of attention. I never enjoy having all eyes on me, but I’ve always felt I should at least be the hero of my own life, you know. Not an actual star, not like on TV or in a film — I’d hate that! — but in my life. I mean, it’s like everyone I know has got boyfriends and girlfriends, or they’re sneaking out of the house at night to drink with friends, or they’re exaggerating about making out. That’s why I’d finally decided to make sure that panic really was a thing of the past and go out on a limb by talking to Connor. In public. I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. And I wanted … more. I have my family. I have school and homework. I hang out with a few friends … mainly Amy, actually. Don’t get me wrong, I like my life, but it’d be good if there was a bit more actual life in my life. Instead, it’s always seemed as though I have a walk-on role, off at the side, just at the edge of the frame, hanging with the extras —
I snap out of my introspection. “What? No! I’m not — how can I be a hero?”
“Not ‘a’ hero. The hero. You believe you are the hero of your own life — ”
“Huh?” He must be joking! Talk about being cut to the quick!
“— when you are not. You are an organism. One of many such organisms in this place.”
“This school?”
Quark sighs. “Sometimes, Daisy Jacobs you are not the hero. You are just dense.”
“I beg your— ”
“This is not your story. Your epic adventure. And you are not the hero. You are one of billions of identical humans. You are just a group of cells. You come from cells and you’ll go back to being cells. And you are just the first.”
“First?”
“Yes — numero uno; a pioneer; the Index Case. The first to become.”
“You mean … ?”
I feel my head nod. “That’s right, Daisy. What an honour, yes?”
Er? Hello? Reader, oh, dear reader, are you still there?
So — remember when I said I was in a good news/bad news situation? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but …
The good news is that I am now certain that I can count on your support. And pretty soon you will really be pulling for me. You’ll be my own little cheerleader. You will want me to win soooooo bad!
The bad news is that this thing just got worse. Worse for me, yes; but a whole lot worse for you.
If you’ve been following closely, you’ll know I’ve been possessed, or invaded or taken over and yadda-yadda-yadda, all the rest? That I was me, but not really me anymore? And that only I could save myself from Quark?
Well, it turns out it goes a bit deeper than that. Houston — we have a WAY bigger problem!
This disastrous situation I talked about? Turns out it’s not just a disaster for me, but for everyone. And that includes you. Don’t ask me how I know that. I can’t quite figure out how I know. I’m kind of vague on exactly how this possession, body-snatching-thing works. What I do know is at the level of a whisper; a rumour, if you will. I’m in here, deep, deep inside my own head, hiding. If I don’t hide, I think Quark’ll get me. Then the tiny bit of me that is still me won’t be me anymore. And won’t ever be again. Are you following this? It’s quite complicated, I know.
So, let me make it simpler. Think about when you heard that someone at school had done something terrible. Bad enough to get them excluded, or even expelled. Possibly they were nasty to a geeky person on social media, saying just the meanest, most unkind things, like that she’s doing dirty deeds with a boy called — well, let’s not get too carried away here, let’s keep it general. I’m sure you get the picture. Something bad happens. Something morally reprehensible and unforgivable. So, anyway, these people are in your school and you may know of them, but you don’t really know them. Either the vicious, icky wretch who does the deed or the sweet, innocent, lovable geek against whom such vicious (and totally, totally untrue — worst luck!) aspersions are cast. You get the picture. You don’t know these people, but you get to hear about it all the same. Whispers start. Rumours spread. And some of it at least, has a basis in the truth.
That’s the case here. Right now it’s just a rumour. A hint. A mere whisper. But I know deep down in my, my … in the tiny bit of me that is me, I know it’s true: whatever it actually is that I have, or that has me — it’s coming for you too.
You read that right; this being/ent
ity/thing/anomaly/ singularity, this Quark that’s inside me, is coming for you. Actually, in a very real sense I’m coming for you …
Quark found me first. And now he’s got me … almost. And that means Quark will soon have you. And then him and her and then everyone. All Quark needs is all of me. And when he has all of me, then he (and I) will come for you. In fact, I’m coming for everyone.
So the end of the world is beginning, right here and right now. With me.
Chapter 12
INCANDESCENT
“COME OUT!!!!!!!!!”
Chapter 13
THOSE WHO ARE ABOUT TO DIE, SALUTE YOU
To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed. I’m not convinced you’re up on the whole cheering for Team Daisy thing. The wishing me luck with my fight to the death with the evil entity (or whatever). Is it nothing more than passing interest for you? A bit of a diversion? I understand — when you don’t have a stake, these things don’t really tug the heartstrings, do they? Don’t set the pulse racing or get the adrenaline pumping. Car crash at the end of your road, your kitten slightly shaken = front page news! Disaster on the other side of the world, hundreds perish = yawn … so what was for lunch again?
I get it. When you don’t have a direct involvement, it’s difficult to care too deeply. But you did get the news, yes? Because, if you did, you should be scared by now. Terrified even. I mean, it’s only sensible to fear your own imminent death!
And sure, on the whole, I’d very much prefer to return to being a nonentity — especially given the alternative. Why was I plucked from obscurity like this? If Quark needed a gateway to humanity’s oblivion, why couldn’t it be a Nobel-Prize-winning scientist, or a special-forces soldier? Someone capable of the speed of thought and action that could make a difference and actually save us?
But you know what? It’s not one of them. It’s me.
So, yeah, I’m sitting in here (so to speak), mentally pouting at the unfairness of it all. Given the choice, I’d bury my head in the sand. I’d put my fingers in my ears (if only!) and sing “la, la, la, la” at the top of my voice until this whole situation went away. Or I’d take a pyjama day and just snuggle under my duvet!
But that would solve nothing.
Because this is happening to me. And if it continues, if I actually become, then pretty soon, it will happen to you too. And then I will conquer the world. Please don’t take this personally: I don’t mean you any harm. And I guarantee you that the small part of me that is still actually me will be very sorry as I pulverise you into your constituent parts. But the me who gets a buzz from debate team and full marks in a spelling test, who can’t even be (really) horrible to her (slightly) awful little brother, who can’t even get Connor Wheeler to notice that I exist … that seemingly insignificant little me will then kill everyone on the planet.
So, let’s try again: are you scared yet?
Mmmm?
Not scared by the thought of a homicidal fourteen-year-old girl coming for you? And for everyone else in the world?
Because, believe me, you are next.
Then your mum. Or sister. Or best friend. Then everyone in your family, your street, your school, everyone you’ve ever met or heard of. Your favourite pop star and TV personality. That woman with the irritating voice who does the weather on local radio. The guy who shouts and gets over-excited when he calls the lottery numbers. The President of the United States. The Pope. Everyone. From paupers to princes.
Quark is not here just for me. He’s here for all of us. And once he’s got through me, he’ll be on a roll, he’ll have a plan, he’ll know what to do and he’ll get us all.
So, is the full extent of our problem apparent now?
There’s an unfeeling, people-chomping entity on one side — inside me, in fact — and there’s everyone on the planet on the other side. And one thing, just one teeny-tiny little thing stands between them.
Me.
Yup, little Daisy Jacobs.
It turns out that I do have to be the hero of this story. Because if I’m not, if I don’t win, then there’ll be no story. We’ll all be just cells, just so much fodder for the universe — in the form of Quark — to feast on.
Still, let’s not get ahead of ourselves: the fate of the whole, entire human race rests on an imaginary lock on a door that does not even exist, protecting a room that is a mere figment of my imagination.
That’s reassuring, huh? I mean, it’s quite a weight to bear on my shoulders, you know. And I don’t even have broad shoulders.
Are you sitting more comfortably now? I mean there’s teen angst over spots and friendship groups and boys and there’s the fate of the planet in the hands of a fourteen-year-old girl.
Got to get your priorities right, huh? So, I would suggest rather strongly that you show a modicum of concern. And maybe worry about this … just a little.
Any advice or help you can offer — well, no, don’t worry, I know there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to help.
So just stick with the long-distance cheerleading (and the worrying). Because I’m not at all sure I can stop myself.
And if I can’t stop myself, you’ve got no chance!
So, if you turn over the next page and it’s totally blank, don’t bother locking the door, just enjoy your life whilst you’ve got it, because I can guarantee you won’t have it for long.
Chapter 13a
Chapter 14
LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING
The universe is big. Really, really big. But although it’s vast (over ninety billion light years in diameter) it’s highly logical. It’s governed by rules and the most beautiful things in all of existence: hugely complicated sums, equations and theories that lots of people buy books about to make themselves look good but never, ever read. (If those people had actually read the books they bought, they may have figured out Quark’s existence and not left the fate of mankind in the hands — or the mind — of a fourteen-year-old girl.) But, oh no, they had to buy gym memberships that they never used either, or sit with friends in pubs discussing football, or at home watching talent shows on TV. Imagine: watching a border collie dancing the rhumba, rather than studying massively complex quadratic equations! It’s unbelievable, isn’t it?!
However, take away the silly bits and the rest of the universe is logical.
And our planet, where Quark has now spent two whole days, is small. From his perspective, it’s mind-crushingly insignificant. He can barely believe it, or we, ever came into existence in the first place. It was all down to a series of coincidences: the impact of a meteor that failed to miss or of a comet that did miss.
On a universal scale, this galaxy, this solar system, this planet doesn’t matter. At all.
And yet Quark has been here for two days. Clearly, two days out of the approximately 13.8 billion years that Quark has existed doesn’t seem like a lot. But in the past, Quark has laid waste to whole solar systems in less than two days.
And it would have been the same here too, he thinks.
Except for the girl.
This girl has temporarily — only temporarily — delayed Quark’s progress.
And what are the chances of that? The odds of selecting this puny little girl on this trivial little planet are so microscopic that they just barely register on the outermost reaches of impossibility.
And yet … Quark met Daisy Jacobs.
Quark became Daisy. Almost …
Except for that eensy-weensy little room in her head, Quark has finished her. He is so close. Quark can sense the domino-effect that will follow as one becoming follows another and another in rapid succession. All it will take is this first one.
Because Quark is inevitable. Overwhelming.
Now Quark makes Daisy’s body stand tall. Or as tall as he can. Her spine is ramrod straight, her shoulders back, her head held high. This is as large and proud as Quark can make her. Quark is going for seriously, earth-conqueringly impressive
, but, in Daisy, can only make it as far as moderately okay … for a Thursday.
He sighs. In all of history, in all of what scientists call time, Quark has found, become, absorbed, used-up and departed — leaving behind … well, pretty much nothing. Floating matter does not have an ambition. If it did, Quark’s would be to reverse the mess that the Big Bang made of what became the universe. Quark’s innermost desire is to compress everything — absolutely everything — in the universe into a space something less than the size of a pin-head. That will be neat, tidy, complete.
There are no experts in Quark, as Quark is the impossible made real. In fact, the equation postulating Quark’s existence is still many decades in the future, and once Quark has finished with this planet, there will be no future (at least for Earth), so the equation, perhaps the planet’s greatest-ever achievement, will never come into being. But I repeat: Quark is inevitable.
And he never, ever fails. However, as of now, Quark is only almost Daisy Jacobs. And he cannot fully become, overwhelm, use up Daisy Jacobs until she gives in to the inevitable … or he tricks her into doing so and stamps her out of existence.
Frankly, he’s becoming a little tetchy about the whole situation. Actually, he’s not so much perturbed as positively splenetic with rage! Beside himself with fury. (Although, how an entity that currently resides within another being can be beside himself is too boggling for anyone’s mind to cope with.)
Yet somehow, the most powerful force that has ever or will ever exist has so far failed to immolate a fourteen-year-old girl. Quite why is a question that should absorb more of his time than it does. But Quark, no doubt influenced by what passes for logic in his newly human nature, decides to try something new. For the first time in the entire history of the universe, Quark is going to school.
Daisy Jacobs Saves the World Page 5