by K. M. Hodge
A spook.
Sally took in a shaky breath as the sound of sirens drew closer. The cops would be on them, right quick. Her cousin must have called them. So much for figurin’ this out on their own. She hid the badge behind the loose brick where she kept her runaway money. She'd keep it safe for him until he came back.
If Billy don't kill me first.
***
Sally & Billy’s Trailer
Ocean City, Maryland
August 10, 1999
6:00 AM
~~~
The two blue lines of the pregnancy test stared back up at her. Finally, a baby, after seven childless years of marriage. Her heart swelled. Praise Mary, I’m a mama!
Despite the rockiness of their relationship, she couldn’t help but want to share the good news with her old man. She bounded out of their tiny bathroom and into the kitchen in just her panties and an old T-shirt. She held up the stick, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.
“We’re gonna have a baby!”
Billy looked up from the sports section and stared at her. Her smile fell as her skin prickled, and she held her breath. The newspaper crinkled as he slammed it down.
Shit.
He stalked towards her. Her heart hammered in her chest and she dropped the stick on the floor. The familiar look in his eyes made her stomach roil. She stepped back until she couldn't go any farther. He’s gonna kill me!
He narrowed his gaze and clenched his jaw as she braced herself for the blow. Ready or not, it still hurt. His closed fist connected with her ear. She didn't see stars but her ear rang like a church bell on Sunday.
She gripped the Formica to keep from falling over. Instead of hitting her again, he shoved her face onto the table and yanked down her panties. She squeezed her tear-filled eyes shut and grit her teeth as he rammed into her again and again. The whole time he shouted obscenities at her. “Whore!” and “Slut!” And he reminded her that she didn't deserve him. “I should’ve left you with your mama and her boyfriends. Any other man would have done away with you! You should count your blessings, you damn whore.” When he finished with her, he took his cigarette and put it out on her back. She bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain.
“I'm sterile. Shoot’n blanks, you dumb bitch. Baby ain’t mine.” Billy zipped up his pants and pulled a Bud out of the ice box. She whimpered, afraid to set him off again. A wave of shame washed over her as he laughed at her in that sadistic way that made her think she might end up in the gully behind the trailer park one day.
Hail Mary, full of grace. Pray for us sinners—
A hard slap to the back of her legs jolted her out of the prayer. “Clean yourself up, woman and make me breakfast.” He sat back down in his seat and after a short pause, he added, “And don’t think I’m paying a dime to support that bastard of yours. Your lazy ass is getting a job.”
When he looked up at her from his place at the table, she froze. Billy could have her and the baby killed without blinking an eye. The pregnancy, she realized—while a blessing—only further trapped her under Billy’s thumb.
“Get going. I’m hungry.”
***
US Embassy Auxiliary Office
Mosul, Iraq
January 2, 2000
9:00 AM
~~~
Alex flicked the ash from the end of his cigarette onto the ground. He hated waiting. His asset, a young Iraqi, said to meet at 8:00 AM outside the embassy, but an hour later the kid was nowhere to be seen. Alex’s mind and eyes wandered to the women in the market. The lack of good porn and women to have sex with left him easily aroused. The mystery of the covered Iraqi women intrigued him. One woman in particular caught his attention. Her family sold fresh produce at the market and he often went there to talk to her when her mother and sisters were busy with other customers. He knew how dangerous it was for them to have any kind of interaction, but he couldn’t help himself.
A touch on his shoulder made Alex jump. He turned to see his friend Chris. He let out a sigh of relief.
“Boy, you’re jumpy today.”
“Hey.”
Chris turned towards Alex and elbowed him. “Dude, you know you can’t be standing here staring at them like that.” He motioned to the women in the market. “You’re gonna start something.”
Alex looked away and put out his cigarette. “My asset might’ve stood me up.”
“I heard about what happened last night with that blonde embassy accountant. What were you thinking? She’s been here all of two weeks.” Chris slung his arm over Alex’s shoulder and led him back in the direction of the embassy. “You’re stationed here for a while, Alex.”
“I’m aware.”
“Then pull yourself together. In close quarters you can’t afford to shit where you eat.”
“Says the man who can have sex any time he wants.”
Chris laughed. “I’m married.”
“Whatever. You don’t know how lucky you are to have an amazing wife and kid on the way. Doc’s bump is proof that ya must be having some sex.”
“Well, I’m not now.” Chris picked up his pace and grumbled. “So why don’t we funnel all that pent-up energy into making a shit ton of cash. I’ve got a poker game going tonight with a hundred dollar buy-in. You in?”
Alex looked back at the market and caught the young woman’s eye. The siren’s call to have what he couldn’t and the thrill of breaking the rules made it hard for him to stay out of trouble. It didn’t seem like anyone else struggled with this like he did, isolating him further. All he could think about was sex, and the more he got, the more he wanted. Something would have to give soon, because no amount of poker games, alcohol, or cigarettes would stop him from doing something detrimental to himself or his career.
“Alex?”
He stopped walking for a moment and looked back at Chris. “Yeah, sure. I’m in.”
***
St. Sebastian’s Catholic Church
Ocean City, Maryland
April 2, 2000
9:00 AM
~~~
Billy hated church. The last time he’d set foot in one was the day of his mama’s funeral. He slipped his flask from his jacket and took a nip.
“Billy!” Sally chastised him like he was a damn child.
“Don’t test me, woman.” He watched in pleasure as his bitter words made her face turn white. “I don’t know why we have to baptize the fucking bastard anyways.”
Sally clutched her baby to her chest and made the sign of the cross. Praying for his sins, instead of her own, no doubt.
“Congratulations.”
A hard slap to Billy’s back made him stiffen. He looked over his shoulder and caught the eye of his brother-in-law and boss, Mac. “Hey, man.”
Mac slung his arm around Billy and pulled him in close. “That’s some lad you got there, Billy.”
Billy narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “That he is.”
Mac eyed him a moment longer. The man never liked him. His brother-in-law would be nice enough in public, but Billy couldn’t count the number of times the man reminded him he wasn’t good enough for his sister and he had a job only because of Sally. This time when he slapped him on the back, Billy was ready for it.
“Good.”
Billy held his breath and forced a smile. When Mac walked away, he let go of the breath and relaxed his shoulders. With his criminal record he needed the job. Anyways, the stupid pious town wouldn’t allow for divorce. Murder…sure. But never divorce.
Chapter 2
Hard Rain Trailer Park
Ocean City, Maryland
November 1, 2005
6:00 PM
~~~
Sally shivered as she walked down the hill and through the quiet neighborhood to her trailer. After pulling a double shift at work and being on her feet the whole time, she could barely put one foot in front of the other. But the cold spurred her on. As bad as she hated her home, it at least had heat.
She needed to go to
the Ladies of Charity and get herself a coat, but knew she’d pay for it with her hide. Billy wanted her to suffer first before he let her replace the one he’d cut to shreds. Even though she could afford a new one he wouldn’t let her buy one. Just another way he exerted his control over her. “Why’s it so damn cold already? It’s only November.”
“I wish you would let me give you my jacket.” Her best friend, Jude, tried to wrap his arm around her, but she stepped out of his reach.
“No, if he saw—”
“I know. I know. I can’t believe he cut up your coat.“ Jude shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Are you doing all right? You know I worry about you.” Sally tightened her arms around her chest. The short-sleeved uniform and threadbare cardigan she wore did nothing to keep her warm. “I didn't get any sleep last night. I’m lucky I remembered to put pants on.”
Jude shook his head and clucked his tongue. “Girl, that boy crawl in bed with you again?”
Sally shook her head.
“Oh…” He glanced at her and she looked away.
“He kept me up all night saying I spent all his money on stupid things. You know like groceries and rent.” Sally shivered and hugged herself again to try and stay warm. “I’m fine. He just knocked me around a little bit and cut up my coat.”
At least Billy didn’t hit her face anymore. Being on display for the entire town to see meant he needed to be more careful of how and where he “punished” her.
“You ever gonna try and find that baby’s daddy and get the hell outta Dodge?”
Sally nibbled on her raw nail bed and shook her head. “No, and I don't know if I would tell him even if I did see him.”
Jude smacked his lips. “Why the hell not? You could leave that backwoods moron you're married to and live happily-fucking-after.”
Sally laughed. “You watch too much TV. I was a good lay and now he's probably moved on to some other girl. End of story.”
“Well then, leave Billy and come move in with me. My parents will be so relieved if I brought a girl home.”
Sally balled up her fist and punched him hard in the shoulder. “Shut-up.”
“Aw, come on. I'd be the perfect house husband for you. You can bring home any guy you want and so will I….”
Sally shot him a small smile. The one time she’d tried to run away, a year after Zander was born, her husband had put her in the hospital. “You know I can’t.”
Jude hooked his arm with hers and squeezed tight so she couldn’t pull away. “I know. I just—”
“I know you mean well, but it’s pointless to even talk about it.”
“There’s something I need to tell you, but you have to promise you won’t get mad.”
Sally stopped mid-step and whirled Jude around to face her. “What did you do?”
He paused for a beat and looked down. “Um, so I looked up your mystery man on the interweb. And found out some stuff.”
“You did what?” Her tempered rage came out in a steaming hiss. “You have no right to poke around in my business!”
Jude’s face fell. “I care about you.”
He reached inside his messenger bag and shoved some computer printouts into her hand. The intrusiveness of the Internet frightened her. The way she saw it, it would only be a matter of time before people became slaves to machines. However, curiosity won out and she took the papers and sat down on the edge of the curb to read them. After all, she couldn’t very well take them home with her to read.
Her chest tightened as she read more about the man who made up the other half of her son’s DNA. A small pang of guilt sparked inside her. Should she try and find him? Tell him they had a son and leave Ocean City forever? No.
She rolled up the papers and handed them back to Jude. “Life isn’t a fairytale, Jude. I’m no fucking Cinderella and he sure as shit ain’t no Prince Charming. If I want out of this mess, I’ll do it myself. I don’t need no man, straight or gay, riding in on a white horse to save me.”
Jude paused for a moment and then shoved the papers back into his bag. “If you want to handle things yourself, I might have a way for you to do that…if you’re willing, that is.”
Sally rose to her feet. “I think you’ve meddled enough for one day.”
“Hear me out, Sal.”
“What?” She shifted her weight on her heels and rested her hands on her hips. “What can you possibly suggest to stop the damn Mob? Because Billy’s got half of Ocean City watching me like a damn hawk.”
“My hacktivist group—”
“Don’t get started with that again. I told you that I don’t want nothin’ to do with all that nonsense.”
“Sally, will you just shut up and listen to me for one cotton pickin’ minute?”
She sucked in a breath and held it.
He means well, but he doesn’t understand. How could he?
“Thank you. Now, like I said, the hacktivist group can be your way to turn those backwoods assholes in.” Jude’s shoulders hunched up and his jaw set.
“To who?”
“The cops.”
“The cops?! Are you crazy?”
“It’s not safe.” Jude’s voice softened and his shoulders relaxed. “But it pays well.”
Sally glanced around the quiet neighborhood and dropped her voice down to a whisper.
“Do you know what you’re asking me to do?”
“Yes, I do.” Jude dropped his gaze down to his shoes and the gravel drive they stood on. “I need you, Sal. I can’t do this without you.”
“I don't know computers and I don't know that I want to. You should get someone else that actually knows that shit. I barely know how to turn those damn things on.”
Jude laughed. “Sal, you're the smartest chick I know. I can teach you about computers. I need a tough-as-nails bitch to run the joint and help with strategizing. Someone else who’s been on the inside like me. I know the money side of things, but I need your knowledge of the chain of command and general operations.”
“How would I keep all this from Billy?”
“Did Billy go to work today?”
“Yeah, at least I think so. My brother didn't call and usually he does if Billy’s gone off.”
“When he goes into the shop, you go to the market. I’ve got a setup in the abandoned building next door. It’s temporary, but it’ll work to keep the dogs off your heels for now. They’ll think you’re pulling an extra shift in the back, stocking or doing inventory. The group will pay you so Billy won’t get suspicious.”
The group would pay her? Yeah, right! Jude would pay her, which she hated. Jude hated when she played it safe, but he didn't understand her situation. Not really. She’d barely survived the last attempt to flee. She couldn’t risk Zane getting hurt.
“Think about what you can do with that money. You can give the kid a way out. Because otherwise, he’ll end up at the bars just like your old man, drinkin’ and pissin’ away his paycheck, and I know you don't want that for him.”
A harsh laugh escaped her lips. “No offense, but what can you do with a bunch of computers to make any real difference against these men?”
Jude paused and looked over Sally’s shoulder. She stiffened and looked behind her to see her neighbor, three trailers down, walking a few yards away with a basket full of clothes. The park laundromat wasn’t far away from where they stood at the opening of the neighborhood. Her neighbor gave her a small smile and kept on her way. Once the woman passed out of earshot, Jude leaned in and whispered to her.
“Oh, honey, you should be asking me what I can't do. That list is a helluva lot smaller. These men aren’t just peddling crack, hoes, and hand guns. It goes a lot deeper than that and now I’ve got the resources to blow them out of the water. But I’ll need your help to pull it off.”
“I’ll think about it.” Sally started walking again. “I’ve got to get going. Billy gets off work in an hour. If I don’t have dinner going, he’s gonna get on me.”
Jude slung
his arm around her neck. “That’s all I’m asking. Just think about it.”
“Fine.”
Jude’s sister came running up the hill towards them. “Sally, I’m so sorry.”
“What? Is something wrong with Zane?”
The young girl’s face was ashen. “He took the boy.”
***
Mac’s Auto Center
Ocean City, Maryland
November 1, 2005
6:30 PM
~~~
“Time to go home, Zander. You’ve got school tomorrow.” Sally stood with her arms across her chest. She hated going to the shop, especially when her brother wasn’t around. The men leered at her like she was one of the half-naked women whose pictures littered the walls. She didn’t want to know why Billy took Zane to the shop, but it frightened her to the core. Her greatest fear was that she would wake up one morning to find them both gone.
Billy tossed his empty beer can in the garbage. “You need to get going, Sally Ann.”
Sally twitched. “He’s got homework and it’s a school night.”
Her old man stalked towards her as the other men scattered out of the shop, leaving them alone. Billy’s face turned red and his words came out in a hiss. “He needs to get his nose outta them books and start learning how to be a man.”
“He’s five.”
Billy grabbed her by the arm and shook her. She shrank back—cowering like some skittish dog. She hated him for that. Hated herself for what she’d become. He smelled like stale cigarettes and beer. Not drunk. Yet. She needed to tread carefully.
“Woman, don’t get involved in things that ain’t none of your business.”
Sally glanced at the corner and saw her son standing in the shadows, watching their violent exchange like other kids watched PBS. She couldn’t help but fantasize about the gun Billy kept loaded in the bedside table. The one he’d pulled on her countless times because he thought it was funny. She imagined the weight of it in her hand and the sheer thrill of pulling the trigger. One day…. But until then, she needed to play it safe.
“It’s a school night, Billy.”