by Jahquel J.
My heart was beating a mile a minute as I touched my car handle and unlocked my car. Starting my car, I pulled out my spot and drove quickly away from the apartment. Todd wasn’t going to use my face as a punching bag for the second time tonight. It was already enough that I had to go to work with what he had already done. Hitting my steering wheel, I pressed the call button. I was so busy driving that I didn’t realize that it had dialed Priest’s number. My mama was the last person I had spoken to in my car.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I meant to call my mom,” I replied with a shaky voice. It was evident that everything wasn’t fine with me.
“Yo, you good?” he caught onto my voice.
“Uh huh. I just got into a fight with my boyfriend. I’m just trying to call my mom to see if she’s home.”
“He put his hands on you?” he immediately asked.
“It doesn’t matter, Priest. I just need to call my mom,” I told him and tried to hang up, but my steering wheel wouldn’t end the call.
“Come to my crib. And nah, I’m not asking,” he ended the call.
I pulled over and put my car into park. Tears poured down my face as I hit my steering wheel. I was hurt, fragile and confused all at the same time. Why did my life have to be like this? Why did my chance at love have to be so flawed that I had to run out my own home with no shoes on? Pulling myself together, I put the car in drive and made the drive to Priest’s house. I wished I could have cleaned my face before showing up to his home. The last thing I wanted to do was involve Priest into my life. This wasn’t his problem and he shouldn’t have to solve it for me. I pulled into his driveway and killed the engine. He was standing at the front with the door opened.
With my head down, I walked up to the front door and he took hold of my chin and lifted it up. When he laid eyes on my face, the look he gave, I wished I could undo seeing it. He was disappointed, angry and confused. I bet he was confused on how someone like me got myself into the situation that I was involved in. It wasn’t like I walked around asking to get beat. He grabbed hold of my hand, locked the door and set the alarm before pulling me into his bedroom. I could hear the TV and the girls watching Love and Hip Hop. He closed his bedroom door and then went to the bathroom. I heard him rummaging through stuff and he came back. The silence was eerie, and I wished he would just talk.
“Can you say something?” I finally broke the silence as he cleaned my face. He didn’t do this. This wasn’t his mess to clean and yet he was cleaning it.
“What you want me to say?”
“Something… anything.”
He chuckled. “Trust, you don’t want me to say shit right now.”
“Why not? I hear it from my sisters. I’m used to it. I just needed to get away tonight to clean myself up and give him space to cool off.”
“Yo, just stop talking right now. I’m bout to get pissed.” I remained quiet as he finished cleaning my face up. When he was done, he went into the bathroom for a while and then came out. He handed me his Versace robe and pulled me up by my hand. “I ran you a bath. I’m gonna finish dinner and I’ll let you clear your mind.” He placed a kiss on my forehead and closed the door behind him.
He had candles lit on the sink, around the tub and the tub was filled with bubbles. For some reason I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t deserve this from him. He was way too good to me. Not once has he asked for anything in return other than my time and conversation. Undressing, I put my clothes in a neat pile and lowered myself into the tub. The warm water welcomed me, and the bubbles soon covered my entire body. Tossing my head back, I closed my eyes and thought about the night that I was having. Did I expect to be in Priest’s bathroom soaking in a tub? I didn’t ask for anything that happened tonight. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and get ready for work in the morning.
When I was done, I placed lotion all over my body and covered myself up with the robe he had given me. I opened the door and he was in the bed with food, sweats and a du-rag on without a shirt on. His trips to the gym paid off because his body was a work of art. He looked from the TV over at me and nodded his head for me to come sit.
“I made you a plate of food.” I accepted the plate and sat down beside him and ate. Since we met up at the restaurant earlier, I hadn’t ate and it showed from the way I ate the food.
“You can cook?”
“Uh huh,” he replied.
“Who taught you?”
“My sister.”
“Why are you being so short with me?”
He sighed. “Why you letting a nigga put his hands on you? Have you looked at your face? How you going to work? Make-up isn’t going to cover that shit.”
“It was an disagreement.”
“Fuck all that noise you about to tell me. I disagree with you right now, you see me beating your ass?”
I was so used to the sweet Priest that this side of him had me shocked. He intimidated me and made me feel so ashamed of myself. “I’m sorry.”
“Why you apologizing, Jus? You told me that nigga had a gambling issue and didn’t pay bills. He putting his hands on you… man, that’s another story.”
“Can we not talk about it?” I didn’t want to talk or think about Todd right now. Thinking about it was going to cause me to break down and I didn’t want to do that.
When Todd first put his hands on me after his sister’s baby shower, I should have ran. He apologized and blamed it on the liquor. I accepted him back with open arms. Each time he continued to do it, he would always come with flowers. It got to the point where he no longer cared about making nice with me. He would hit me and go on about life like he didn’t break me down mentally and physically. I often questioned myself why I stayed and tolerated the shit he did to me?
“I’ll let you chill tonight, but tomorrow you need to figure out what you’re going to do.” He grabbed my empty plate and headed to the door.
“What I’m going to do?”
“Yeah. You need to get that nigga out your place. If it’s his place, then we need to move you to your mom’s crib.”
“Priest, you’re moving too fast.” I held my hands up. “I haven’t made a decision on what I’m going to do. I left tonight because I needed time to think and clear my head, not make life decisions that I may regret in the end.”
“How the fuck you gonna regret leaving an abusive relationship?” he twisted his face up and stared at me. “You know what… I’m gonna sleep in the guest room. Have a good night.” he said and closed the door behind him. I sat in the middle of his bed feeling stupid for even opening my mouth. I could tell he was pissed and was starting to judge me. Hell, I would judge myself.
Laying down on the bed, I pulled the blanket over me and closed my eyes for a brief second. The door re-opened and Priest walked in and closed the door behind him. He paced the floor for a second before he spoke. “That nigga got my dream woman and don’t know how to treat you. I would fucking kiss the ground you walk on, Justice. Then to hear you tell me that you don’t know if you’re gonna end things with him. Do you know how hard it is not going to end that nigga tonight? I can easily find out where you live and end this for you… no questions asked.” My heart started beating fast.
“Tonight… can you just hold me? My problems aren’t yours and I don’t want to involve you into something. If something were to happen to you, I would always blame myself.”
He walked over to the bed and climbed in. I pulled the cover back over my body and laid close to him. Priest wrapped his arms around my body and kissed me on the head. Closing my eyes, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this safe.
10
Priest
When Justice came to my door with a bruised face, it took everything in me not to lose my mind and beat the shit out of somebody. No man should ever lay his hand on a woman. Women loved to test that fine line and I understood that, yet that didn’t mean they deserved to be beat down like a nigga in the streets. What bugged me out the most was the fact that Justice all
owed me to hold her all night and got dressed the next morning to head back home to him. I was ready to move shorty wherever she needed to go and didn’t mind coming out of pocket for it. Seeing how hurt and broke she was, was like seeing her for the first time. This wasn’t the Justice I had chilled with the night of Reese’s party. I knew her nigga wasn’t shit and she told me that. She failed to mention how he knocked her up against the head from time to time. When she walked out my front door and hugged me tightly, I honestly wanted to pull her back, lock the door and never let her go. Who knew if that would be the last time that I saw her?
“You good?” Staten asked as he smacked Love’s leftover plate of waffles and eggs. I would have offered him some bacon, but he had already smashed the plate down.
“Nah.”
He put the plate down and looked at me. “What’s good? Who we need to get at?” Staten was a fool and always played games, still that nigga was my brother and was always down for whatever.
“Justice came over here the other day and was all beat up.”
“She got into a fight or some shit? She got two older sisters who fuck shit up, why she didn’t call them?”
“Nah, not like that. Her nigga put hands on her,” I explained further. Liberty and Freedom were known as the twins that had hands for days. It didn’t matter who you were, they would fight you and then continue about their day like nothing was wrong. Even years later, these hoes knew not to fuck around with any of the McGurry sisters.
“Oh shit. So, when we catching that nigga slipping?” Staten pulled his gun out, cocked it back and sat it on the counter.
Thankfully the girls were in school and didn’t walk in on this. Kiss had finally went back to school. Shit was hard because Marisol was ignoring my calls and wouldn’t come help with the girls. It was one thing to be pissed with me, but to take it out on the girls was another thing. I had business to handle to make sure I kept the money running, but I had to do that in between taking them to cheer practice, cooking dinner and making sure their homework was done. I wasn’t complaining about having to care for my nieces, but if I could pay someone to make it easier on me, then it was worth it. I found that with Marisol and now she was letting our personal shit interfere with the business we had together.
“I want to blow that nigga’s head off. Found out where she live and everything. Nigga works for the fire department.”
“Seriously? It’s always the niggas that’s supposed to be protecting us that be the ones out here doing the most damage. When you want to move on him?”
“I’m not.”
“You care for Justice… why you sitting back? This don’t sound like you.”
I ran my hand across my face. “As much as I care for her, this isn’t my fight. I got three girls that need me here. What good am I if she goes back to him and I’m sitting in prison?”
He nodded his head in agreement. “I feel you. However, I also know you and I know that you’re not gonna sit back for much longer and allow that shit to happen.”
Maybe Staten was right. Yet, with how Justice walked out of the safety of my arms right back into the arms of danger, I couldn’t chance fucking up what I had at home. If it was just me, then I would have handled the nigga. The moment Sandy took her last breath was the day that I started living for more than myself.
“I’m really hoping shorty get herself out of that situation. Justice is good peoples and she makes good ass food.”
“Me too.”
“Let me holla at you about something.” Staten’s face turned serious. Ghost had been busy getting ready for this vacation. I was surprised that Shakira wasn’t tripping about not going. If she would have known that Free was going on the trip, she would have had a heart attack.
“Word got back to me that Shakira fucking Zeek,” Staten revealed, and I jumped up on the counter to sit. “One of my little niggas told me that he ran into them, but didn’t say shit. He saw Zeek rubbing all up on her ass and shit.”
“You gonna tell G?”
“Not without doing my own research. Fuck I look like?”
“Yeah, you right. He don’t be trying to hear nothing when it come to her ass. Shakira be out in the streets more than he do.”
“Mirror trying to hook him and Free back up together.”
“Good luck with that… Free fucking with Zoe.”
Staten shook his head. “Yo, these niggas need to take their asses back to Brooklyn. Niggas didn’t want to fuck with the island until they heard that you could make some bread. Now they all wanna be coming over here like fucking Christopher Columbus,” he vented.
“Long as they don’t start to fuck with the money, we’re good.”
“If they start fucking with the money, then we’re gonna handle them.”
“Word.”
Me and Staten stood there talking for a while before he had to leave. When he left, I put the dishes in the sink before the cleaning lady came. She was the only one I could depend on that came on time. If I didn’t have her, then my house would have been fucked up. I grabbed my phone, wallet and keys before I jumped into my truck and headed to Ghost’s crib.
The shit with Marisol had gone on for too long and I was tired of the shit with her. After the shit she pulled, I didn’t even want her doing shit for me. All I wanted her to do was stare me in the face and tell me why she did the girls that way. They had nothing to do with what went on and she left them high and dry. Love and Kiki always asked where she was, and I had to lie. It wasn’t like they were babies, they were thirteen and fifteen, they put shit together just like Kiss always seemed to do. I pulled into his gates, killed the engine and hopped out.
When I walked into the crib, Free was sitting at the kitchen island with Shakira. “What’s good, Free?” I spoke to Free and kept walking.
“Wait a minute… how do you know her? And why don’t I get a greeting?”
“It’s Staten Island, Shakira. Everybody knows everybody. And my bad, what’s good? You know where Marisol is?”
“Yeah. She’s upstairs packing the girl’s clothes for Jamaica. I can’t believe Gyson is taking them on a trip without me,” she sulked.
I didn’t have time to listen to her play concerned mom. She knew soon as those jet wheels were off the floor, she was going to be swinging her ass around trying to offer it to anybody. I didn’t see how somebody as smart as Ghost could be so damn stupid when it came to Shakira.
“Where’s G?”
“He took the girls to go look at a house for Mirror. I can’t believe he’s buying that brat a house.”
“Watch your mouth,” was all I said as I headed up the stairs.
Free was smirking as she looked over the paperwork they were going over before I walked in. Shakira hated Mirror because she was everything that she wasn’t. Mirror was blessed with her body, looks and brains. Every time Mirror got something, Shakira had to go out and get them. I remember Ghost had surprised Mirror with this exclusive Birkin bag. I think they made six of them in the entire world. The nigga spent bank on that bag and Mirror was so surprised. She expected a gift, just not the one her brother surprised her with. Shakira moved out their crib and stopped talking to Ghost for a month because he didn’t think to buy her that bag for her birthday. She competed with Mirror, meanwhile Mirror paid her no mind. When I made it upstairs, I found Marisol listening to music and packing the girls’ suitcases.
“I guess only apple music works on your phone, huh?” she jumped, but calmed down when she noticed it was me.
“Priest, I’m working. Leave me alone,” she replied, grabbed a handful of clothes and added them into the suitcase.
“So, you only have one job.”
“Yep.”
“You cool with doing the girls the way you did them?”
She stood still and then turned and looked at me. “You tell them why I can’t work at your house and pick them up.”
“Ight. I’ll let me know you flaky as fuck.”
Her face dropped. “I’m
flaky? You tell them why the fuck I refuse to work for your ass. Tell them how you flaunt bitches in my face after telling me you’re not talking to anybody right now.”
“I’m not gonna tell them that… know why?”
“Why?” she stood with her arms folded.
“Because that shit is my personal business. What I’m talking about is business and you keep confusing the two. When we first started fucking around, I asked you if you would be able to handle it and you told me that you would. Now you’re singing another tune and mixed the two together. Don’t worry about the girls, they’ll be straight. All you had to do was keep it real with me. Just tell me that it wasn’t working out anymore and I would have understood and made better arrangements. For you to get all in your feelings when we’re nothing more than fuck buddies is low, Marisol.”
“Pries—”
“You know why I never settle down and just get my dick wet with bitches?” I could tell she was shocked by my choice of words. “Because since my sister died, I haven’t found a woman that could hold me down like she did. You wanted the answers as to why I never wifed you, there you have it… you showed me on your own.” I shook my head and walked out the room.
I understood when me and Marisol started fucking around that it was risky. She worked for me and made sure the girls were straight when I was handling business. Personal and business never mixed well, still I thought it would be different when it came to Marisol. I thought she would understand and play her position. It wasn’t like I was the type of nigga that wouldn’t allow her to fuck around. She was free to live her life just like I was free to live mine. It could have been something beautiful between the both of us, but she showed me her true colors. When shit didn’t pan out her way, she bounced and didn’t bother to call and let somebody know. As I walked down the stairs, my phone buzzed.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Mr. Mooney. This is Dr. Lopez from Staten Island academy.” I hated when the principal of the school tossed around his degree. We all knew he had a doctorate, why fucking use it every time he spoke? I understood he worked hard to earn that title, but that nigga used it when it didn’t need to be used.