A Staten Island Love Letter- The Forgotten Borough

by Jahquel J.

  Ghost was a good father. The way he doted and cared for his daughters made me smile. I was slightly saddened because he would never have that with Somali. He would never be able to go back in time to see her first steps, words or any of her firsts in life. The same went with Samaj. He wanted a son more than he wanted to breathe. To know he had a son and he wasn’t his namesake and he had missed out on so much with him would break him to his core. Moving back home seemed smart at the time. Now as I sat this bar, I was regretting my decision on moving back. So many people were going to be hurt, and I didn’t want that to happen. My phone deterred me from my thoughts. I smiled when I saw Samaj’s facetime pop across my screen.

  “Hey baby boy,” I smiled when his face appeared on the screen.

  “Hey mama… how is Jamaica?” he smiled, exposing that same one cheek dimple that Ghost had.

  “It’s good. I’m missing you and your sister though.”

  “We miss you too.”

  “Is Somali still mad at me?”

  “Uh huh... I’m not mad anymore. I know you need alone time. In Georgia you worked all the time and spent time with us, I’m happy you spending time alone.”

  “Have I mentioned that you’re getting too smart and old for me? Go back to being my little baby.”

  “I’m the man of the house, mama. I have to be smart.”

  “That you are. What’s nana doing?”

  “She and Somali went to the grocery store. I’m doing my homework before she gets back,” he laughed.

  “Why are you always last to do your homework. You know nana doesn’t play so get it done. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

  “Okay mama.”

  “I love you Samaj G,” I almost caught myself saying his entire middle name. My heart wouldn’t allow me to name Samaj without giving him a piece of Gyson. I made Samaj’s middle name Gyson and Somali’s middle name is Gysoni.

  “Love you too, mama.” He ended the call and it made me miss them ten times more.

  When I got back home, I was going to work double time on getting my place together so that my kids could come home. I was also going to spend a lot more time with them. Since being back home I had gotten so used to having my mother around to help that I was quick to unload them off on her. I had to do better because my children came first before any of this shit.

  “I could tell you missing the shit out of them.” Ghost pulled me from my thoughts again. “When I’m away from my girls, I think about them all the time. If you want to bounce, I wouldn’t be mad.”

  “Nigga, it’s not you who I’m worried about being mad,” I laughed. “I didn’t come here for you anyway.”

  He stood up and walked in between my legs and stared me in the eyes. “Tell me that you didn’t come for me,” he blew on my neck, my favorite spot.

  The hairs on my arms stood up and my pussy started to throb. I wanted to toss him off me and run back to my bungalow, but something inside me wouldn’t allow me to move. I stared up at him and he kissed me on the lips. “G… we can’t,” I protested lowly. We couldn’t, but I wanted to.

  “We can’t, but I want to,” he whispered in my ear and then placed a kiss on them; another spot of mine. After all these years he still remembered my favorite spots and it was driving me crazy. No man could compare to the way Gyson sexed me down. At nineteen, I was inexperienced, still as the years went by, I hadn’t found a man that could scratch that itch. Yeah, I’ve had some good sex, but it wasn’t Gyson type of sex.

  “Just because we want to do something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do,” I continued to protest as he undressed me with his eyes.

  “I want to fuck the shit out of you on the balcony of my bungalow. You want to fuck me too, I see it in your eyes. Wrap all this shit up and meet me in my bungalow in twenty minutes,” he kissed my lips, finished his rum and turned to walk back toward the bungalows.

  I sat there on the stool confused about life. Fumbling with my phone, I called Liberty. She had been so busy working that we hadn’t caught up in a while. It was so crazy that when I was in Atlanta, we would talk all day and every day. Now that I was back home, we barely made time to talk twice a week. I missed both my sisters and knew I needed to spend time with them real soon. Especially with Justice. She hid a lot, and nobody never knew what she was going through.

  “What you want, hoochie?” she answered the phone.

  “Dang, why I gotta be all that?”

  She laughed. “Cause why I had to find out from mommy that you’re Jamaica with Gyson.” she smacked her lips.

  “It ain’t even like that. Mama Rae and Mirror made me come on the trip.”

  “Uh huh. What you want? I’m on break and got about ten minutes before they come calling me for something.”

  “You always working.”

  “How else I’m gonna pay for my apartment and truck? I got bills, sis.”

  I sighed because I understood. In order to live and make it in New York, you had a good ass job. Just rent alone wasn’t enough to afford on your own without a good job. “I hear that. If you need to borro—”

  “No, don’t do that. I’m not broke or needing money. I just like to work to make sure I avoid that. Now what’s up?”

  “Gyson wants to fuck me.”

  “Do you want to fuck him?”

  “Yesssss!” I squealed.

  She busted out laughing. “Girl go get you some dick. I’m not even mad at G either… his fiancée out here fucking other niggas behind his back.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Uh huh. My eyelash lady told me, and she don’t lie. What I’m trying to figure out is, if Gyson knows and letting her hang herself, or is he really that stupid not to see what she’s doing.”

  “Should I tell him?”

  “Nope. Ride his dick and mind your business. That’s not your business or your place to tell him that. If you want to tell him something, tell him about his son that is the spinning image of him and his daughter that looks just like his oldest daughter with Shakira. Since you in the mood to be telling shit.”

  “Byeeeee!”

  “Oh, no you want to hang up. Go get some dick… love you and we’ll link when you touch down,” she replied, and we ended the call.

  I wrapped up my laptop and went to drop it off in my bungalow. When I entered, Mirror was at the island eating a bowl of fruit. “Didn’t I tell you to stop working?”

  “I had to send a few emails… nothing major.”

  “Okay. Wanna go ride horses on the beach? I was thinking about going with those girls and guys I met last night.”

  “Uh, I can’t. I have something to do.”

  She narrowed her eyes and stared at me. “Like?”

  “Personal stuff.”

  “Hmm… where you heading now?”

  “I gotta help your brother wi—”

  She laughed and slapped the granite countertop while kicking her feet. “You’re going to fuck Gyson!” she hollered.

  “Shut up!”

  “I’m disgusted and happy at the same time,” she giggled. “Well, go on and do you girl!”

  I shook my head and left before she continued with her questions. Gyson’s bungalow was open and I let myself in. “Gyson?” I called out.

  “You know where I’m at.” he replied and I followed his voice to his room.

  His room was the biggest in the suite. He had a balcony that opened up to the ocean. You could get out of bed and jump straight into the ocean if you wanted. He was sitting out on one of the lounge chairs on the balcony. The way his balcony was situated, none of the six bungalows could see you. The only thing that you saw was miles and miles of ocean. He was smoking a cigar and looking out at the ocean.

  “G, this is so wrong.”

  “If it was so wrong you would sent me a text or called to tell me that. You came over here to let me know that it’s wrong?”

  “You have a fiancée.”

  “You don’t.” he shot back. “Come here.”

&
nbsp; Hesitantly, I walked over to him and he pulled me closer to him. “I don’t know.”

  He pulled me on his lap where I was facing him. Pulling my chin toward him, he placed kisses on my face and then kissed me on the lips. “This is what I’ve waited years to do. Don’t take this from me.”

  I held his face and kissed his lips hard. Our tongues danced in each other’s mouth as we both pulled at each other’s clothes. I straddled him as he pulled at my Bikini top and my breast were free. His hands entered the back of my bikini bottoms and he pulled at them. I tugged at his trunks and released his dick. It was so beautiful as drips of pre-cum oozed from the head. I leaned up and eased myself on top of him. Slowly, I winced as I inserted him inside me inch by inch. Gyson held onto my waist as I moved my hips to make him fit inside of me.

  “Shit… you tight as fuck,” he moaned and tossed his head back.

  I held onto his chest and started riding his dick. The more I thought about how we were so perfect together, the faster I road. I was angry that Shakira had snagged him down. As much as I tried to act like my feelings weren’t there for Gyson, they were. She was living the life that we had planned. I didn’t want her life, I just wanted her man. Gyson belonged to me and he knew it.

  “I love youuuu, G!” I moaned out and continued to ride the shit out of him.

  “Free, I love you too, Ma!” he grunted as he held onto my waist and pushed himself deeper inside of me.

  We continued to fuck each other’s brains out on the balcony like we didn’t have a care in the world. It didn’t matter that he was engaged or the fact that I was hiding that he had twins. We were just two lovers making up on lost time. His phone rang just as I busted my third nut. He looked down at the number and continued to get his strokes in before he released himself inside of me. I collapsed on him and took in his natural scent.

  “Damn. I haven’t had sex like that in a long time. You do something to me, Free.”

  “Me too. This can’t happen again, Gyson,” I told him as I climbed off of him and put my bathing suit back on. He sat there looking over my body.

  “Your body is amazing.”

  “Ugh, no it’s not. Since the twins, I haven’t lost all their weight… it’s all in my thighs and ass.”

  “Ain’t that a good thing?”

  “Sometimes,” I winked. “I’m going to shower and then ride horses with Mirror.” I told him.

  “You know they love you being back around, right? Mama won’t stop talking about you coming on this trip with us. She says it feels like old times.”

  “I’m happy to be around them too. I’ve missed them a lot.”

  “What about me? Did you miss me?”

  “I did. More than you know,” I smiled and headed back into his bungalow. Just as I was coming out of his room, Mama Rae and the girls were coming back into the bungalow.

  “Free, what are you doing over here?”

  “Me and Ghost were swimming in the ocean outside his room,” I lied. We were fucking by the ocean, but I couldn’t tell her that.

  “Oh… well, we’re going to have lunch. Do you want to come along?”

  “Me and Mirror are gonna ride horses by the beach. I’ll meet you guys for dinner. I need to go shower and get ready.”

  “Okay… Have fun,” she smiled, and I headed back over to my bungalow. Mirror was singing off key in her bathroom. I knocked on the door as she was fastening her Chanel waist bag around her waist.

  “I’m coming with you.”

  She smirked. “You haven’t been doing enough riding?” she raised her eyebrow.

  “I’m going to shower… Give me ten minutes.” I laughed and went into my room to grab some clothes to change. As I was showering, I heard the bathroom door open. “Mir, I’m coming… I need to wash my hair!” I yelled out because I knew it was her.

  “Free, it’s me…” I heard Gyson’s voice.

  “Why are you in my bathroom? G, what happened can’t hap—”

  “Justice just got into an accident. You left your phone in my room and your mother called back to back. I’m on the phone with her now,” he held out my phone.

  I dropped the bar of soap I was holding in my hands and snatched the phone. “Mommy, what happened?” It was so crazy that in a moment of panic you could quickly revert to that little child that used to hide behind your mother’s leg when someone introduced themselves to you.

  “Todd was drunk and driving from Jersey. He drove my baby off the road with him… They said she may not make it, Free!” my mother sobbed.

  “I’m catching the next flight out, mommy. Where is she now?”

  “At an hospital in New Jersey. I just called Liberty and she’s coming to drive me because I’m too shaken up to drive.”

  “Okay. I’ll call you when I land,” I told her and ended the call. I rinsed the rest of my body off and jumped out the shower.

  “I’m flying back with you,” Gyson followed me into my room.

  I dried my body and paid him no mind. “You don’t need to do that. I can catch a commercial flight home.”

  “Nah, I’m coming. You’re fucking shaking, Freedom.”

  “I can’t lose my sister,” I sighed. “I just can’t.”

  “You won’t. I’m gonna go and tell my mother and then we heading out. Ight?”

  “Okay,” I sighed.

  “I got you, Free.”

  When he said those words, I believed him. “I know.”

  12

  Staten

  Port Richmond, Staten Island

  I leaned up in the bed and watched as Chanel walked around the room gathering clothes. We could never just fuck and chill because she always had to clean up right behind herself. She was the only chick that I actually wanted to be bothered with and her ass was cleaning instead of letting me cuddle with her. I ripped the blanket off my body and leaned against the headboard. She stopped picking up my clothes and stood there staring at me.

  “What? You know I can’t stand clutter,” she sighed. “You always tossing your clothes around like I have a maid or something.” she muttered and resumed picking up the clothes scattered all over her bedroom.

  Chanel has been my best friend since we were younger. We grew up together and have always been there for each other. Whenever I needed her, she was there without any questions asked. I couldn’t imagine having a life without her there. Chanel came before all these bitches and they knew it. Everyone knew that we were best friends, but no one beside my brother and Priest knew that we were fucking.

  “I have a confession,” she plopped down on the edge of the bed and stared at me. “I’m late.” She looked away.

  “Aye, that’s what we want, right?”

  “Yeah, but I’m nervous, Shaliq. We’ve been here before where I thought I was pregnant and then my period comes the next week.”

  I pulled her into my arms and kissed her on the forehead. “I get you nervous and shit, but you being hella negative right now, Nel.” I told her. “I believe you got my baby in your stomach floating around.”

  “Floating around? Really, Shaliq?” Chanel was the only one outside of my siblings that I allowed to call me by my real name. I tried to tell her to call me Staten and she wasn’t with the shit. She claimed she wasn’t everybody and she was going to call me by my real name.

  Chanel came to me a year ago and told me that she wanted to have a baby. She told me that she was tired of waiting around for Mr. Right and wanted to take matters into her own hands, but with someone she loved and trusted. I understood her, I mean all her damn friends were working on their third baby and she hadn’t even started on her first. Not to mention, she was getting pressure from her parents about having kids. As much as Chanel loved to hang around her hood ass friends, she wasn’t them. She was raised in a middle-class family with both of her parents. Her father worked for MTA and her mother was a nurse. It was only natural that she became a nurse too. She worked in Labor and Delivery, so she was around babies all day long.

/>   Years ago, she had made me promise that if she wasn’t married and had a baby, then she wanted to have a baby with me. At the time I thought she would forget and move on from it, but she didn’t. So, when she came to me and asked, it was something I had to think about. She wanted to have a whole ass kid together, that wasn’t some small shit you just agreed to. It didn’t matter that I had promised her years ago, it was something that I had to put thought into. I didn’t want to be making kids knowing I wasn’t ready. At Twenty-nine, I wasn’t ready to be someone’s father. Shit, I worked hard enough trying to avoid getting these bitches I slid into pregnant. Here Chanel was asking me to willingly get her pregnant on purpose. Shit, a nigga needed a blunt, drinks and a lot of alone time to figure out if this was something I wanted to do.

  When it came to Chanel, I couldn’t tell her no. I couldn’t stare into her eyes and deny her something that she really wanted. The more time I had to think about it, I realized that if I was going to have a baby, I wanted it to be with Chanel. She had a career, worked hard and had her own place. She never asked me for shit and when I tried to do something for her, she shot me down each time. We both knew we weren’t good for each other. I was too busy out in the streets getting money and fucking bitches, and Chanel wanted to build a family. It would be selfish on my part to try and have a relationship with her when I wasn’t done messing around. People had babies and weren’t together every day, so I knew we could make it work.