Noopiming

Home > Other > Noopiming > Page 7
Noopiming Page 7

by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson

moonlight

  i bring you stitches

  a feather

  three books

  the caribou

  sit

  measuring emptiness

  the fish

  study

  the methodology of giving up

  the molecules

  calculate

  the accumulated effects of hate

  you break

  down

  to a less ordered state

  the ice

  breathes

  and gives in

  the lake

  runs

  out of options

  july 15

  30 cubic metres

  five storeys

  just like

  the Gwich’in

  always said

  there are all kinds

  of ways

  to fail.

  head of the lake

  in a basement full of plastic flowers

  perogies and

  cabbage rolls

  at the head of the lake

  thinking under accusation

  at the mouth of the catastrophic river

  disappearing our kids

  at the foot of the nest

  beside trailer hitches, coffee, spoons

  we made a circle

  and it helped

  the smoke did the things

  we couldn’t

  singing

  broke open hearts

  i hold your hand

  without touching it.

  we’re in the thinking part of the lake

  faith under accusation

  at the mouth of the river

  and the spectre of free

  at the foot of Animikig

  beside bones of stone and red silver

  in a basement full of increasing entropy

  moose ribs, wild rice.

  in realization

  we don’t exist without each other

  she says: there’s nothing about you

  i’m not willing to know.

  death by water

  boil your water

  for twenty years

  to remove

  two parts road salt

  one cup exhaust

  two tablespoons of arsenic

  biiwaanag

  flint

  tool

  weapon

  river

  put the sign

  in the forest so the

  eagles see

  put the sign

  in the benthos

  so the fish have

  something to read

  biiwaanag

  flint

  Black

  Red

  ignition

  i’m sitting facing the wind

  drinking in blue

  her body around mine

  lips tasting air

  i love her anyway

  i love her more. because.

  biiwaanag

  flint

  spark

  light

  fire

  weather

  broken weather

  irrevocable rain

  injured creeks

  and flood

  basements ruined

  internets caught on fire

  burning from nothing to nothing

  in green toxic blue flame

  we sat on the log

  again

  in the absence of light

  we picked ten dollar bills

  our of each other’s marrow

  in the absence of rupture

  we took turns

  falling up into dreams

  diving deeper and deeper

  in the deficit of oxygen

  through

  insult and callout

  through

  ego and ego

  swimming

  drowning

  sinking

  i reach out

  for my pawful of dirt

  and instead

  you hold my hand.

  surface tension

  there are beating wings

  there are

  simple

  stolen

  moments

  the road only goes one way

  and you can’t get lost

  the trees drive by

  and we carry the river

  i ask you four questions

  you give me four answers:

  the ininiwish that lived here

  the book that saved your life

  the akiwenzii that assigned you

  the oil rig that only sang marx

  we keep the critic in the back seat

  i keep the answers in the hollow part of me

  the river only goes one way

  and you can’t get lost

  there are simple stolen moments

  these are simple stolen moments

  we love

  when we are able

  and there are beating wings reminding me

  if you fly forever you can have two summers.

  the wake

  hello my friend

  i’ve come

  to see you again

  everything we tried

  to grow

  this year has died

  you’re tripped inside my head

  numb calm, dulled light

  cold red

  acorns and fallen stars

  a child

  that wasn’t ours

  ashes in my eyes

  crushed fires

  and shattered skies

  wearing just the lake

  diminished

  in the wake

  inside a commune of night

  there’s no way

  to make this right

  injured and certified

  i wish i’d held you

  when you died

  you’re tripped inside my head

  numb calm, dulled light

  cold red

  everything we

  tried to grow

  this year has died.

  cohesion

  she fell into the lake

  with a bag of tools

  she patched the canoe with her shirt

  and drove her kids across the river

  she put ɂorı out

  in the middle of lake

  we soaked the hide

  in ziibiins overnight

  he carried his kid

  even when they got lost

  her water broke

  and the door opened

  they found her body

  wrapped in a duvet

  weighed down

  with rocks

  giigoonh picked her precious

  out of their gills

  held her forever

  in their otoliths

  aandeg watched

  his last

  breath

  took his sound

  embedded it in our heat

  read his notes

  and beaded them onto our hearts

  promised his mama

  we’d make it matter

  we are all hunters

  and we all knew

  when white

  strangles the trigger

  we die twice.

  viscosity

  calling out

  calling in

  you’re not fooling me

  tethered to the kinship

  of disassociated

  ze
ros and ones

  shining your crown

  of neoliberal

  likes

  yelling the loudest

  in the

  empty room

  gathering

  followers

  like berries

  feeding

  fish

  to insecurity

  sliding

  into

  reckless moment

  after reckless moment

  we witness:

  too many holes in your hide

  the broken skin of a canoe

  the tightening of a mind

  tracks, leading nowhere.

  at the

  beach

  we build a fire

  sit in our

  own

  silence

  peel off

  blue

  light

  lie back

  on

  frozen

  waves

  breathe

  in

  sharp air

  warm

  into

  each other

  careful moment

  after careful moment.

  break up

  i step over

  the watery edges

  he pulls the canoe

  across the ice

  she paddles to the edge to collect candles

  for her old ones to melt and then drink

  you shoot ducks

  while it’s still easy.

  they gather at the edge

  thinking

  they gather in the sky

  rethinking

  they swim towards light

  thinking otherwise

  sun hits you from above

  you melt from inside out

  faint ice as membrane

  spreads sound across skin

  aabawe the first warmth of spring

  aabawe a loosening of the mind

  aabawe to forgive

  gathering into gatherings

  they are watching in the front row

  of the empty theatre

  smiling through tears, remembering

  going over and over in their minds

  they are this beautiful tendency to stick together.

  a single nuclei of desert dust

  falling 3.5 feet per second

  falling 3.5 feet per second, but together

  enfolding, one crystal at a time

  they are this beautiful tendency to stick together.

  forming a nation of stunning difference

  propagating arms of crystal

  offering the full spectrum of possibility

  reflecting the full spectrum of light

  they are this beautiful tendency to stick together.

  zoogipo

  it is snowing

  zoogipo

  aanakwad is giving birth

  zoogipo

  a choir is falling from the sky

  zoogipo

  building their bodies from time, temperature, circumstance

  they are this beautiful tendency to stick together.

  there are six points

  holding 10 quintillion molecules of water

  mobilizing joy

  amassing on aki

  we are this beautiful tendency to stick together.

  gashkadin :: freeze up

  we gather

  in the winter lodge

  formed from earth

  and ice

  we slow

  pray

  sing

  dream

  earth below

  world above

  wait things out

  but together.

  my upper parts

  are exiled to the bottom

  my lower parts

  deported to the surface

  there is euphotic rising

  and falling

  orbits of dispossession,

  reattachment

  achieving

  maximum density:

  39 degrees fahrenheit,

  lake as one mind.

  i relax

  at the surface

  spread apart

  cooler holding warmer

  regular

  repeated

  ordered

  locked

  nurtured from the bottom up

  leaving just enough

  space

  for this

  incubated

  life.

  NINE

  FORMATION

  Mandaminaakoog

  Mandaminaakoog isn’t in the best of shape. They aren’t the best mathematician, or reader of the weather, and they aren’t the best at details. They are, however, one of the most important individuals in formation, and while other societies might minimize the kind of work Mandaminaakoog does naturally, this one does not.

  Mandaminaakoog

  In the mornings, when navigation meets to refine the day’s route and finalize logistics, Mandaminaakoog is quietly present. They watch the decision-making, the personalities, the egos. They take measure of who is able to see outside of themselves and make decisions easily and who struggles. They inventory mental and physical strain, and how the group manages, or doesn’t manage. They answer questions when they are asked. They offer opinions when they are considered. They intervene only when the well-being of the formation is at risk, allowing the flock to fail and learn and recover and self-determine. They are wise, and their wisdom is of the kind that lived experience generates. A confidence that no matter what happens over the course of the day, they can handle it. They will always be okay. And of course when that isn’t true, because it isn’t true in life of any sort, there is an unwavering belief that they will handle it anyway.

  Mandaminaakoog

  They see the formation as formation. As a singular organism propelling itself to someplace else whose magnificence is bigger than the sum of its parts. Mandaminaakoog’s responsibility is to observe the function of the system as a whole, to take note of inconsistencies and weaknesses. To watch how the system generates and uses energy, copes with and minimizes drag and friction and responds to the constantly changing variables of wind, temperature, moisture and light.

  Sure the formation is made up of individuals and individuals are formations in and of themselves. But that is the trick. To not get caught up in one’s own body, one’s own experience, one’s own cycling head. Synergy matters, because it represents the incomprehensible. The other forces and nations working with you even if you’re unaware.

  The wonder.

  Mandaminaakoog

  Mandaminaakoog has status, but status is never something that matters. What matters is commitment, desire, skill — and how those feed back on each other to create what appears from the outside to be an effortless elegance. What matters is showing up.

  There will always be times in the journey where the unspoken and the interstitial spiral farther and farther down.

  Times when the formation relies upon those good-natured ones that are never fooled by misfortunes, deterred by missteps or overwhelmed by the constant influx of changing variables. The ones that can change the feel of something instantaneously with a quick laugh. The ones who are almost always certain, and who remain calm even when they are uncertain. Confidence swimming in humility.

  Humility, not as pity or a pathos. But as a lived realization that all of us, any of us, are just part of something more complex than we realize. That it is always less about the me.

  What also matters is the nature of the individual, and this is directly correlated to skill level. Difficult individuals are tolerated if they hav
e exceptional mastery of flight, but just as important as mastery is the ability to hold the group together; that makes the entire thing enjoyable. Most appreciated are the ones that can shift energy with a quick laugh or a diffuse response, those that pay attention to how bodies are feeling and then act accordingly. These individuals are just as crucial as those that can navigate, those that understand formation, logistics and engineering. The psychological management of individuals in formation, and of the formation itself, impacts all the other parameters of flight and migration in ways that few can predict.

  Mandaminaakoog

  Same with the network. Connecting the seat of each individual’s character to the sequence is a constant job. Mandaminaakoog smudges everyone off at dawn and the flow will be strong, continually folding in. But by mid-morning three-quarters of the flock drops out of frequency without an inkling of notice, and they have virtually no skills to reconnect. This makes everyone’s job more difficult. It’s like flying in radio silence, out of range of support. Open channels inevitably fill with anxiety, and broken connections make the journey more of a cascading crisis than anything else. It is one thing after another, the group barely able to recover from the last crisis before the next one is upon them.

  Mandaminaakoog needs to work with each individual on their own to teach them how to focus in and block out distraction, static and noise. They do this in the down times when the group isn’t travelling, but it is a long road. It is a skill that requires enormous amounts of quiet practice, because the brain is literally rewriting and regrowing the synaptic pathways to make the focus happen — which is an elegant feat in and of itself. It makes it hard, though, for practitioners to believe, because it never seems like one is getting better at it. One always feels like a failure. Mandaminaakoog is also teaching how to sit with perpetual failing, or at least the perception that one is in perpetual failure.

  Status is another imposition on an already difficult situation. In order to get border clearance, the state requires each migrating bird to have a certificate of status. The rules have changed over the years, and have become less stringent, but they have nothing to do with geese. They have nothing to do with anything other than the state’s desire to regulate migrants out of existence, because controlling resident populations is much easier to manage if everyone just lives in the park all year around.

  To obtain your migrant card, initially you need two parents that are migrants. In concert with the dispossession of airspace, breeding grounds, nesting grounds and places to live and be, and along with avian diseases and the near-destruction of the geese’s world, this has proved to be devastating to the migrants. They also wholeheartedly reject carding and take whoever is best suited for the migration, doctoring cards and documents as needed.

 

‹ Prev