“What’s never happened?” She hesitated. “How does it work?”
His gaze fell to hers. Disbelief in his gaze. “You don’t know?”
“I mean I have an idea, I know the crux of it. Male bites female on the neck and they are mated, but I don’t really understand what drives them to do it.” She chewed on her bottom lip, hoping she didn’t sound like a complete idiot.
Again there was disbelief in his gaze, as if he couldn’t quiet believe how naïve she was. And dammit, some things she was naïve about. But she’d never had many friends, and her aunt and uncle hadn’t discussed the details of mating—really ever. She’d had to figure it out from locker room gossip during high school. Put the pieces together.
“When a male chooses his mate, he’s driven by a need that is instinctive. Consuming. Most of the time, but not always, it happens during sex.”
“See that’s what I don’t understand. Wouldn’t the male get all worked up and bite any chick he’s screwing?”
His laugh was soft and low, the sexy sound that sent shivers through her.
“You’re a razor-sharp agent, but adorably inexperienced with mating.”
“Oh will you just shut up.” Her cheeks flushed, and she punched him lightly in the stomach. He caught her fist and lifted it to his mouth, brushing her knuckles with his lips.
Her stomach fluttered and she bit back a sigh. “You realize I’m not a virgin.”
“No, I didn’t think you were.” His smile died and something blazed fiercely in his eyes. Something dark, angry, before it was extinguished as he drew in a slow breath. “I’m obviously not either. And every time I slept with a woman who wasn’t my mate, I’d hope that maybe this time would be different. That maybe my canines would drop and I’d be compelled to mate again.”
“But it doesn’t happen.”
“Never even came close.” He kept up the featherlight caress of her knuckles. “And as much as I want to promise you roses and forever after, it won’t happen with me.”
There was another sharp sting to her heart and a lump in her throat, but she struggled not to show it. Why it bothered her, she couldn’t say. She wasn’t looking for forever after. Not yet, but hearing the finality in his words that it could never happen between them hurt with an intensity she couldn’t analyze.
Knowing he was waiting for her response—probably expecting her rejection—she forced a slight smile and nipped at his thumb.
“Well, fortunately it’s like I told you. I’m too young for serious anyway.” She lifted her gaze to his again. “But I’m going to need some time to take all this in and figure out what I want. Maybe we can just take it slow…see what happens?”
He gave a slow, skeptical nod. “I still want you, Grace. Pretty damn bad, but I’ll understand if you want to run like hell now.”
And she wanted him—that much hadn’t changed. Even though she’d just come a short while ago, her body had begun to hum with need again.
“I’m not running,” she said softly. “Though maybe tonight I might. It’s a lot to take in, and I’m a bit tired now. Plus we still have to work in the morning.”
“Absolutely. We should go inside. Get some sleep, sugar.”
She wasn’t sure what to think of the thrill that raced through her at the endearment. But every time he uttered it, she always felt a little happier. Sexier. Maybe that was just the Darrius effect. He charmed girls, and he was awfully good at it.
She reached for her door handle again, and then paused, another thought striking her.
“Just to clarify. You got pretty riled up earlier when I said I’d find another way to burn off energy. In case you thought I meant another man, you were wrong. I was going to head over to the garage to work on my glass.”
He grunted and she thought she spotted relief in his eyes. But his smile was pure seduction. “I like my plan for sex better.”
She laughed softly and climbed out of the truck. “I’ll bet you do. But if you don’t mind… I still think you should take the other room. At least for tonight.”
Darrius climbed out as well and walked around to her. “Agreed. I don’t want to rush you. I want you to really think about this.”
She turned and stepped into his arms. Cupping his face, she brushed a light kiss across his lips.
“I will. I promise.”
Though she knew her heart had already made its choice, she wanted Darrius. Even if it was only for the short term. She just hoped it wouldn’t hurt too much in the end.
Grace stirred in her bed. Sleep still curled around her body and mind, but she blinked past it to glance at her clock. Ten minutes before her alarm was set to go off.
The house was silent, and as she stared at the ceiling she remembered everything from last night. Remembered that Darrius, all six-foot-two hard male of him, was asleep in a bedroom not too far from hers.
And he’d been mated. The reminder hit her almost as quickly.
Her stomach clenched and her heart twisted before she drew in a slow breath and her body relaxed again.
Sighing, she rolled over onto her side and stared at the wall.
Just the idea of Darrius mated sent toxic emotions through her head. Jealousy. Sadness. And something dangerously close to heartbreak. But why? She’d told him up front she wasn’t looking for serious—hadn’t even considered the possibility of him being her mate. It was what she’d convinced herself of all along. It still held true, didn’t it?
Maybe she was just feeling more connected to him emotionally because he’d taken her so intimately last night.
Just the memory of it had her mind leaping from the serious road onto the dirty one. Heat coursed through her and an ache immediately began between her legs.
Grace squeezed her thighs together and let out an unsteady breath.
Why was she so sexually drawn to Darrius? She’d asked herself that over and over. He wasn’t by any means the only sexy and funny guy at the P.I.A.—hell the agency seemed to be a breeding ground for hot federal agents—but he certainly was the one who got her engines revving.
Maybe she should’ve just slept with him last night. Should’ve just taken his warning at face value and then she would’ve been blissfully unaware that Darrius Hilliard had already chosen his mate in life.
Could she do it? Sleep with Darrius and know it was only a fleeting, sensual affair? Or would it be better to walk away now?
The latter idea had a chill sliding through her and disappointment gathering fiercely in her heart.
No. She couldn’t walk away. Hell, she’d almost slept with him anyway. She was young and she had needs. She was in her twenties. She’d be an anomaly if she didn’t think about having sex.
Darrius was a pretty good fit if she was just looking to blow off some sexual frustration.
Yes, and that’s all you want right now. Your life is too crazy for anything else.
So it was settled. She’d take him as her lover. Completely. Pleased, and a little aroused by her decision, Grace sat up in bed. She pushed back the covers and climbed out.
Too bad she didn’t have more time this morning to make it official. Then maybe she would’ve invited Darrius to join her for a morning session of some hot, sweaty sex. Though that would’ve required she set her alarm an hour earlier.
The house was silent, and she didn’t bother to slip on her robe as she walked to the kitchen to make tea. Her flannel pajama bottoms and tank top combo weren’t exactly sexy, and Darrius was likely still asleep in the guestroom anyway.
But when she arrived in the kitchen she stumbled to a halt in surprise.
Darrius was obviously not asleep, because he had scrambled eggs on the stove and was currently struggling to fill her tea ball with leaves. His brows were drawn together in frustration as the leaves kept spilling over.
Leaning against the doorway, she cleared her throat. “You’re awake earlier than I thought you’d be.”
He glanced over her way, surprise in his tired gaze. “I don’t
think I got much sleep last night.”
She grimaced. “The bed too hard for you?”
Darrius set the tea ball in a mug of what she assumed was hot water before he turned back to the eggs.
“I don’t think it was the bed.”
He turned slightly and she saw the unmistakable bulge of his erection against his slacks. Her pulse jumped. She knew immediately why he hadn’t slept. Maybe she was a little turned on this morning, but he’d given her a mind-blowing orgasm last night. And selfishly, she hadn’t reciprocated.
Images ran through her head, heating her and making her want to do incredibly naughty things right now. And maybe, if she could do this quick enough, she could.
“Thank you for making breakfast.” She crossed the floor to him and slid her arms around his neck.
His gaze flared with hot arousal, with hesitation, before he looked away from her. It was almost as if he wanted to avoid dealing with her—seeing her. Was he that on edge?
“And I never thanked you,” she continued, her mouth so close to the corner of his full lips now. “For making me come like a room full of dynamite last night.”
A shudder ripped through him and she thought he might’ve groaned deep in his throat.
“Grace,” he rasped, his head turned just a tiny bit, so that when he spoke his lips almost seemed to brush hers.
“I thought about it, and I’m okay with this being a pleasure buddy type of thing. We’ll just have fun and then when one of us is ready to get out, we call it quits.” She slid her hand down his bare chest. “We could start on that fun part now.”
“You don’t know how fucking happy that makes me to hear you say that.” He groaned. “But, sugar, we’re short on time. You should sit down and eat your breakfast.”
“You’ve got a serious problem going on down there.” She nipped at his bottom lip. “You should let me take care of it.”
There was no mistaking his groan this time. “We need to be at the office in less than an hour. We don’t have time for what I want to do to you.”
“This isn’t about me this morning. This is about you. I was a selfish lover last night, but I can make it up to you. I promise it won’t take long.” Her heart thumped with anticipation, but wanting to give him as much pleasure as he’d given her last night, she sank to her knees in front of him.
“Oh sweet Jesus.” His hands slid into her hair, but he didn’t try to stop her as she quickly unzipped his fly and freed him from his pants a moment later.
She looked up at him again through her lashes, found his dark gaze blazing with fire and need.
Her mouth immediately watered at how hot and heavy he was in her hands. Grace leaned down, tracing her tongue over the tip of him, catching the drop of fluid that had already gathered.
“Shit. Shit.” He gasped. “The eggs are gonna get cold.”
“Are you still thinking of eggs when my tongue is on you?” She made a tsking sound. “I must not be doing this right.”
She drew her tongue over and around his length, teasing the small dent on his underside.
“Ah shit. You’re doing it right, sugar. So whatever you do, don’t fucking stop.”
A smile of triumph curled her lips, before she parted them and let him slide deep into her mouth.
And then conversation died as he took control, clutching her hair as he thrust into her mouth. The slide of his shaft against her tongue sent a ripple of power and pleasure through her.
“Take me. Take me deep.”
She closed her eyes as he thrust deeper into her throat, letting herself taste the slight muskiness of him. An aphrodisiac that was all male—all Darrius. It was a promise of what was to come later, when they had more time.
The way he filled her mouth only made her anticipate how he’d feel inside her later.
He didn’t warn her he was about to come, but she could feel it in the way his sac swelled in her hand and how he plunged deep toward the back of her throat.
Darrius made no move to pull out, and she wouldn’t have wanted him to. She knew the choice would’ve been hers, had she really wanted to push him away.
But she wanted to do this. Wanted to take him as completely as he’d taken her last night.
His groan was strangled, relieved as he came. She was lost in her own world of sensation and pleasure as she took him through his climax.
Several minutes passed before he pulled free from her and she sank back onto her heels. She licked her lips, her heart racing and pulses of need throbbing in various spots of her own body.
This was for him, she reminded herself. But oh hell, calling in sick for both of them was looking so nice right about now.
No. She squelched the thought and rose to stand again.
Arching a brow, she gave him a smile that was all sex and sin. She knew it, felt the feminine power in it, and reveled in it.
“Better now, Agent Hilliard?”
He let out a shuddered breath and stared at her. His gaze was full of heat—though controlled now—and almost bemusement. As if he was trying to figure out if that had really happened or not.
“Pretty fucking amazing actually.”
“Good.” She gave a slow smile and then turned away.
His hand connected with her ass and she yelped, jumping slightly. He didn’t move his hand from her butt as he slid up behind her and nuzzled the back of her neck.
“You are so damn sexy. Tonight, I’m going to lick you until you’re screaming again, sugar.”
Grace let out a squeak, everything inside her turning to molten liquid.
His tongue flickered over her earlobe, before he muttered, “And then I’m going to fuck you so hard we’ll break your headboard.”
Her knees almost buckled. “It’s made of iron.”
“Yeah, well I love a challenge.” He squeezed her bottom again. “Now go get your pretty ass dressed and I’ll heat up your eggs.”
Grace almost ran out of the room, her pulse racing. When was the last time she’d felt lighter and happier? Or naughtier. My, but Mr. Darrius Hilliard, the man who was usually so light and funny, was dirty as hell in the bedroom.
Tonight, and his promises, couldn’t come fast enough.
Chapter Fourteen
His email was open, some agency note about an upcoming meeting in front of him, but Darrius’s mind wasn’t on it. It wasn’t on much, right now, except the woman sitting at her desk halfway across the room.
The day had just begun, yet he couldn’t stop checking the clock to see if it was any closer to quitting time.
Last night he’d run the emotional gauntlet. He couldn’t have predicted the turn things would’ve taken. One moment he’d had his face buried between the sweetest pair of thighs, the next he’d been waving his dirty laundry like a Fourth of July flag.
And it wasn’t a trivial little disclosure—it was heavy. Had long-term implications. He’d expected Grace to ultimately turn her back on the possibility of a sexual relationship with him. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she did, and had even expected it.
But she hadn’t, which kind of blew his mind. It was also a confirmation that she didn’t want him for anything serious. That Grace was perfectly fine with it being a temporary, sexual relationship.
Just like every other woman.
It bugged him, more than it should have. Some men would’ve killed for his situation. Being able to bed any woman he wanted without worrying about commitment.
Closing out the email he wasn’t reading, Darrius tried to ignore the hollow feeling inside him.
He was in his early thirties, the fact that he was unmated and childless was beginning to weigh heavily. Sure, he could sleep with unmated shifter women, and human women, all he wanted. But the shifter women would soon need to settle down with unmated shifters, and marrying a human was forbidden to him.
Soon he would need to start thinking about having children. Only, it wouldn’t be in a loving, mated relationship. His best bet would be to find a windowed
shifter woman who was within childbearing years and form the type of relationship that was more common to humans. Attraction. Respect. Maybe a marriage, maybe not.
But he would never know what it was like to grow old with a mate. With the one destined to be at your side.
He lifted a stress ball from his desk, a Christmas gag gift because everyone knew how laid-back he was, and squeezed it in one hand.
Grace was the first woman he’d ever confided in about Jenny. Lord help him, the sympathy in her eyes had almost ripped his conscience a new one.
What would Grace think if she knew the truth? That he’d never mourned his mate’s death, and struggled to feel any kind of emotion for the woman he’d known for such a short time.
With a low growl, he hurled the stress ball against the wall of his cubicle and placed his elbows on his desk, hiding his head in his hands.
He was an anomaly and didn’t deserve to have anyone as his mate.
“Wake your ass up, Hilliard.”
The approach of Larson had him jerking his thoughts back to work, and lifting his head to stare at his alpha.
“I’m awake. On my third cup of coffee, matter of fact.” Darrius grinned and reached for his mug.
Larson stared at him. “How was your night?”
“It was all right.” All right meaning amazing. And this morning had been pretty damn fantastic too.
Shit. He still couldn’t quite believe it had happened. Couldn’t believe that Grace had just dropped to her knees and taken him completely as if he were breakfast.
Dark heat gathered in him, and a wave of intense need to be with her again. Alone. Tonight seemed too damn far away.
He never would’ve taken her for the type to be so sensual, though he should’ve. She was a fierce agent at work, and there was no reason she wouldn’t have been equally fierce sexually.
“Hmm. So how was Masterson?” Larson asked.
For a moment, Darrius almost thought his alpha was asking about something else entirely. Maybe Larson had figured out that they were getting pretty hot and heavy, but then he remembered the attack at The Doornail and grew somber.
Savage Betrayal: Savage, Book 2 Page 14