by Kitty Thomas
It was true that if Julie was ever to come to him on her own and give herself to him, he would train her, and that would include some punishment no doubt, but everything he'd said to Dmitri since he'd stepped inside this house was designed to not show weakness.
"So you think you'll get a cheap bargain, do you? Is this like—what do you Americans call it—a garage sale?"
Dmitri had been in the country long enough that he knew what Americans called everything. He just liked to feign confusion and play the 'new to the country' card.
"No. I'll pay your price. Name it."
"All right. I'll call your bluff. Five-hundred thousand. Still interested?"
"Done," Gabe said. He opened the front door and strode across the lawn, his eyes immediately finding Julie on the ground with guns trained on her. "Your guards are about to shoot my property. Let me break this up, and then I'll wire the money to you."
"Very well. Let me speak to one of them."
He pulled the phone away from his ear. "Gentlemen, hold your fire."
Gabe's gaze shifted to Julie in the passenger seat. She'd been quiet for a long time, and he'd been too lost inside his own thoughts to push her, but now he wanted answers.
"I want to talk about what happened. I want to know how you came to be with Dmitri and I want to know what they did to you. Don't leave anything out."
As Julie slowly unloaded her story on him, Gabe clenched the steering wheel so hard he was afraid it would come off in his hands. But somehow he kept the car intact. What she managed to share with him with only a few tears was harrowing. All those men. All those months. The abuse from the guards. Constant threat of death. Being imprisoned like that.
And now what the fuck was he doing? He was taking her to the house. Another fucking mansion she'd be a prisoner in and never get to leave. A place where they were training women to be literal slaves. They may have agreed to the arrangement, but it wasn't as if Julie had agreed to it. But then, he wasn't selling her either. Or sharing her. He didn't know exactly what he was going to do with her, but he wasn't going to force or hurt her. Eventually she would come to him on her own. Maybe. If she wasn't too traumatized for that. All he cared about right now was that he'd gotten her away from Dmitri. She'd never be hurt like that again.
"Gabe?"
"Yeah?"
"W-will you tell me where we're going?"
"I'm taking you to my house. It's a bit of a drive. We should be there in another hour."
"Okay."
She looked scared, but not scared enough to try to get away from him. Gabe suspected her fears were about the same kinds of things that had made her nervous about him on their date. And maybe more things now in light of her past few months of hell.
"Gabe?"
"Yes, Julie?"
"What are you going to make me do?"
There was a rest stop less than a mile up the road. Gabe took the exit and eased the car into the near-deserted parking lot at the far end. He turned off the ignition and shifted in his seat toward his anxious captive. If possible, she tensed more, as if this stopping of the car meant he was ready for her sexual services. He was glad he hadn't eaten at the buffet. The very thought of what she no doubt imagined was about to happen made it hard to keep down the food from Dmitri's party. But Gabe wasn't sure he could have this conversation without letting her see his face and giving her every opportunity to try to find something she could trust there.
"Julie, listen to me. I'm not going to make you do anything. I am not a rapist. I'm not a pimp." Well, not exactly, he thought. But better to ease her into the nuance than try to explain it outright.
"But you paid a lot of money. I can barely understand the concept of that much money. Surely you want something out of me in return. And you said I was yours now."
He watched as she mentally seemed to calculate what she thought she could be okay with giving him, and little of it was likely on the menu of the things he would actually demand of her should she ever truly submit to him.
"You are mine. It's the only honest way to look at it. And I do want things from you. A lot of things. But none of it has anything to do with you owing me some debt. Yes, I paid half a million dollars. But I paid a ransom. I didn't pay for your services. Half a million was what Dmitri demanded to set you free, and that is what I paid. I would go back and pay it again. I would have paid more. But you don't owe me a debt. I am plenty comfortable. I don't need your indentured servitude. And I definitely don't need it given unwillingly."
"Okay, I don't owe you a debt, but you want things. What things do you want?"
Gabe sighed. "If I tell you, you might get out of this car and run. Then I'll have to chase you down and drag you back. I'm not going to force myself on you, but you can't go back to your old life. If Dmitri or one of his men sees you out in the wild, you're dead or right back in there again. And once you see the operation at my house, you become a liability to me as well. So yes, I'm locking you away. I know that's a felony. I understand it's evil. But, I'm not going to rape you or beat you or starve you or in any way bring harm upon you, and I won't allow anyone else to, either. If it takes you time to trust that, fine."
He didn't add that although he was angry and horrified by what she'd been through, now he didn't have to feel guilty about taking her because there was no free life for her out there anymore. Not after Dmitri. Being Gabe's prisoner in a nice place where he wouldn't let anybody hurt her and all her needs would be met was far better than someone finding her body in pieces in a dumpster somewhere a few months down the road. It was beyond fucked-up that a few months ago the kindest thing he could have done for her was leave her alone, and now the kindest thing he could do for her was take her captive.
Julie stared out the window, and Gabe wondered if she was contemplating that escape. Despite what she must be thinking, she had to know it would be suicide to run from him. Where could she go outside Dmitri's reach? Wasn't the devil she knew better? The devil who had already done the decent thing once?
"Tell me," she finally whispered. "Tell me what you want. I have to know."
If that wasn't masochism, it would be hard to find a better example.
"I'll tell you what I want, but understand that me wanting it doesn't mean I expect you to give it. Especially after what you've been through. But I may as well tell you because you'll find out when we get to the house anyway. There won't be any way to hide it from you."
Gabe took a long, deep breath and then plunged in. "To say I am kinky would be an understatement—like saying a monsoon is wet. The house we're going to isn't just where I live. It's also my business. I own it with some friends. I train women—willing women—to become the slaves of wealthy men who are into the same kinds of things I am. I enjoy a woman on her knees in front of me... not just to blow me, but on her knees in my presence in general. I like when a woman calls me 'sir', which they all do at the house. But what I really want is someone who will call me 'master'. And I want that someone to be you. I want that, though I know you aren't like I am as well as everything you've been through. I won't force it on you, but understand this: if you ever call me master, it means exactly what you think it means. There is no going back from that moment. At that point you are mine far beyond the exchange of money. So never ever say it casually or to test the waters. There is no testing with that word. That word makes you mine in ways you can't imagine yet."
She let out a tremulous sigh and wrapped her arms around herself. Julie wasn't sure if she could ever willingly give herself to him that way. It seemed far too final and dangerous.
"Can you handle more, or is that enough to satisfy your curiosity?"
"There's more?"
"Oh much more. I like to whip women, cane them, flog them, put them in cages. I like the traditional bare-assed spanking. I like blindfolds and toys that vibrate and toys that don't. I like ropes and chains and shackles. I like things too weirdly creative to make you understand without acting them out with you first. I like a woman
who begs and cries and trembles at my feet. But what I don't like is a woman who doesn't like and want those same things. So we're in a pickle, here."
"A-and you think I will come to you voluntarily and let you do all that to me?"
"I hope so. Some day."
"What if I never do?"
That was the million-dollar question wasn't it? He might not be a monster, but how much goodness did he have? Gabe was convinced he could woo her, and that some combination of making her fall in love with him and her own gratitude for everything he had done and would do for her would bring her around. But maybe that was a fantasy that could never be real. Fantasy Julie and real Julie weren't the same person after all.
"One other thing," he said. If he wanted to drive her away, he was sure this was the thing that would do it. But it wasn't as if he could keep her in the dark about it now, and it would be best if she didn't harbor delusions about things.
"Oh God, really? There's more?"
Gabe chuckled. "Sorry, but yes. I'm not monogamous. I don't do fidelity. It's not in my nature, and I have no interest in twisting myself in knots to try to offer promises I can't keep. But these girls in this house—none of them that I would involve myself with—are permanent residents. They get trained. And they go. No one would be competing with you indefinitely. You would have a special and cherished place with me."
"You took me out on a date knowing all this stuff about yourself?"
There was heavy accusation in her glare, and he didn't blame her. At least she wasn't too numb to feel anything. He'd take any honest emotion she had to offer. If she wanted to start pummeling him right now, he'd probably calmly let her get her rage out.
"Now you know why I told you I was a bad man to know and left you alone."
"You were testing me, weren't you? To see if I might do this stuff."
"Yeah, but I knew before we started that it would never work. I almost stood you up that night."
"I'm glad you didn't."
Gabe reached over and took her hand in his. She flinched and seemed like she would pull away, but after a few seconds she relaxed as if remembering she was with the guy she'd once clearly liked.
"Really?"
"Yes, but you're a fucking freak. And the shit I've been through..." She wiped at her eyes, trying to stop from crying again. "You had a better chance with me and all this when I was still a virgin and didn't know any better. I was so... God, I was so taken with you."
"And now?"
"Now I'm afraid to feel anything. At Dmitri's, I was somehow holding it all together more or less, and now I'm afraid the littlest thing could break me beyond repair. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can ever give you any of the things you want." She flinched after she said it, as if certain of some retribution despite his promises.
"I know. And I know it's not just these past few months. That's why I stayed away from you. I wasn't willing to push you for something I knew you couldn't give me. And don't think I suddenly expect it now, but when circumstances force people to live together, sometimes things that wouldn't have happened otherwise, happen. I guess I'm holding out that hope though I have no right to expect it. But you are safe with me."
Julie didn't say anything more, and after several minutes of silence, he pulled his hand away from hers and started the car.
After they'd been on the road for a while, Julie said, "You were planning to keep the non-monogamy thing a secret from me, weren't you? If we'd continued dating?"
He sighed. "Yeah. You wouldn't have understood."
"I would have understood honesty more than lies. You would have been cheating."
"I couldn't have been honest without doing what I'm doing now: taking your freedom away."
She didn't say anything else after that. What more was there to say? They'd had more in-depth meaningful discussion in this one night than a lot of couples had their entire relationship. Gabe turned the radio on. Classic rock droned low in the background.
He'd been too close to losing her only a few short hours ago. He couldn't believe he'd kept it together. But he'd had to, for her sake.
"Oh my God. Is this where you live?" Julie said when they reached an imposing iron gate. They'd been driving through a heavily wooded area—all part of the property—for the past ten minutes. Beyond the gate was a large hill, and at the top of it sat an enormous white house with thick Corinthian columns. The architecture made it look like a museum rather than a place people could actually live.
"It's where you live now, too."
The apprehension and tension strained from her face all the way down through the muscles of her neck. "Are you going to keep me locked in a basement?"
"No, you'll have your own very nice room. You'll have free run of the house and the grounds."
Gabe pulled up to the heavy iron gate, punched in a code, and the gate swung open. He parked the Bentley in front and got out and came around to help Julie out.
"Let's get you settled. Everything is going to be fine. I promise."
That look of fear on her face... he'd do anything to erase it forever and replace it with trust.
***
Julie jumped when Gabe's hand touched her lower back, guiding her into the house. It was so familiar and similar to their first date at Sakura and yet so different in light of all the things she now knew. Despite everything, there was this crazy fucked-up part of her that still wanted to be with him-even with everything he'd told her.
Maybe that would have been possible before. But now? Now she didn't think she could ever be with a man in even the most bland and non-threatening sexual relationship again. How could she ever trust a man who not only was into all the things Gabe was into, but who couldn't promise her fidelity? And who could never conceivably set her free?
How would that work? How would it be stable? How could she ever feel loved? Did she deserve to? No matter what Gabe said, and no matter how much she knew nothing that had happened to her was her fault, she couldn't help how dirty and wrong she felt and how guilty. Logic didn't seem to matter.
All the times she'd fantasized about Gabe from the moment she'd first met him, the story—at least before Dmitri—had ended in marriage and maybe a couple of kids and a dog and a white picket fence in a nice neighborhood in suburbia. And even after Dmitri, when she believed she no longer deserved all that, it had still included at least basic monogamy.
The inside of the house took her breath away. Sure, Dmitri's house was big and fancy. But there were different types of fancy. Dmitri had something gold in practically every nook and cranny as well as ostentatious furniture and art on the walls. It had been an over-the-top display of wealth. Gabe's house by contrast was overwhelming. Clean and bright and regal in an understated, assured sort of way.
"T-this is where you live?"
"Yep."
Before she could ask anything else, she found herself reflexively spinning toward the sound of heavy, clipped footsteps moving across the large entryway.
"Who is this? We are not taking Dmitri's cast offs. And she's too thin," a strange man with a Russian accent said.
Julie grabbed Gabe's hand and moved as close to him as she could get without stepping inside his literal skin. Right or wrong, after the past few months, Russian equaled bad to her. And this guy knew Dmitri. Would he send her back to him? No, Gabe wouldn't let that happen.
"Anton, cut the shit," Gabe said. "She isn't a cast off. And she isn't here to be sold. She's mine."
Anton raised an eyebrow. "Yours yours?" he asked, like he was speaking in some sort of code.
"As far as the house is concerned. The rest is in the air. But she's under my protection."
"Fine. If you're taking full responsibility. What about the deal with Dmitri? How did that go?"
Julie tensed. How could Gabe still want to work with those guys? She started to pull her hand from his, but he held on tighter.
"It didn't. And it won't," Gabe said.
"Why not?"
"None of those gi
rls is there voluntarily."
The Russian snorted. "Really? That's all? You think our girls are free agents?"
"At least they made a choice. We didn't drag them kicking and screaming from their happy lives."
"And yet, once they come into this house and that bracelet is locked around their wrists, they are ours. If they change their mind, there is no out. So how is it different?"
"It just is," Gabe said. "You didn't see them. The looks on their faces. Those girls with Dmitri are being abused. None of them likes anything that's happening. They're not getting off on it. We're... this house is… it's different. You know I have lines."
Anton rolled his eyes. "Yes, such a virtuous criminal. Dmitri knows about us. We have to work with him. We have to keep him close so we can keep an eye on him."
"He doesn't know that much," Gabe said.
"He knows enough. He knows your name and mine. And he can be vindictive."
Gabe released Julie's hand and took a few steps closer to Anton, his voice rising almost to a shout. "You knew if we started talking with these guys we'd be locked in. Me going to check out their operation was a formality. Wasn't it?"
"I thought you needed more persuading," Anton said.
"Well congratulations on achieving the opposite, asshole."
Gabe and Anton glared at each other. Neither spoke for several long moments as the tension in the air escalated higher and higher.
Julie noticed several women gathering at the openings of various doors and hallways that connected with the entry hall. Most of them wore sweatpants and T-shirts. Feet were bare. Some wore lightweight workout shorts instead of sweatpants. The T-shirts were all white, but the shorts and pants were a wide variety of bright solid colors. They looked like they were all about to be featured in a commercial for casual workout wear.
Upon further inspection, Julie noticed, they each had a thick silver metal cuff around one wrist. They appeared curious, but unafraid. They looked well fed and healthy. There were whispers and murmurs coming from them and several pointed looks in Julie's direction.