Masked Desire

  “Yesterday?” he said stiffly.

  “Was great, but I fail to see how sex suddenly transformed me into a possession.” The pent-up anger suddenly filled her. Her whole life she’d fought to be treated on her own terms, not owned by someone stronger than her. Her mouth filled with bitterness as she remembered her parents and her uncle and she shoved the thoughts out of her mind. They were gone. Cormac was here and he was going to treat her as Michaela. Not his toy.

  “I can’t help it,” he said. “You’re mine.”

  She shook her head, almost unable to speak over her anger. “No, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m not. Not ever. So deal with it.”

  They stood in the tree, glaring at each other, before Cormac gave an exaggerated and extremely irritating shrug. “Fine,” he said. “Then let’s get you to your friends.”

  Chapter 26

  Saying that he needed to go for a walk in the woods before they left may have sounded like a weak excuse, but it was true. A few more moments in this in-between place, the exile’s woods, would help to calm him before he made a complete fool of himself about Stephan. He lifted his face to the sky and let the shade of the leaves cool his skin.

  “You might as well come out.” He could feel the intruder lurking.

  “The queen is not pleased with you.” Rendell stepped out from behind a tree.

  “Nothing new there.” As if he needed this, right now.

  “I’ve been sent to inform you that the queen is considering taking Yetting Hill as her property.” Rendell’s voice was a purr of satisfaction.

  Impossible. “By law the forest has to be offered by free will. I don’t recall making an offer.”

  “You mated.”

  “As you so promptly told Tismelda, yes.”

  “Michaela Chui is a masquerada.” Rendell’s voice implied that mating a masquerada was a mere step up from joining with, say, a marmoset. “But she is still intelligent. I thought she would have known better.”

  Cormac wouldn’t let the little weasel get to him. “The forest?”

  “You broke your exile agreement, Redoak.” Rendell shook his head. “Too bad.”

  When Rendell disappeared, the birds rose in a chorus, as if they’d been silenced during their conversation. Cormac stood in the clearing, staring at the place where Rendell had stood. Broken his exile? How? He needed to find his exile decree, now.

  As he made his way to the tree, he heard Michaela mumbling to herself. She looked up, pale with two bright spots high on her cheekbones. “Are you ready?”

  “Soon.” Even distracted by his concern about breaking his exile, Cormac couldn’t help but notice that Michaela’s voice was toneless. He didn’t like that it had to do with him but right now…He brushed past her to throw open a trunk that lay on the floor. The decree was wrapped in linen tucked in the very bottom.

  She followed him over and watched as he unwrapped and unrolled the parchment. “What’s that?”

  He stayed silent, so she came around and read over his shoulder. “Oh.”

  Should Cormac Redoak, Lord of Yetting Forest, come to break his exile, he shall forfeit his ancestral lands to the Crown.

  Yes, yes, he remembered that. He skimmed over the rest looking for the list of what counted as breaking exile. He dimly recalled reading it when he’d been forced out, but that had been long ago and nothing had jumped out. Entering the Queendom without permission, threatening the queen and her family, fine, okay, all expected.

  His eyes stopped. Mating without the express permission of the queen. It wasn’t against the law, and so he’d forgotten it was part of his exile. Not like he’d had a choice but it didn’t matter. The queen wouldn’t care.

  He was going to have to go back and try to reason with her. That meant leaving Michaela alone with her enemies—and Stephan.

  “Tell me what’s going on,” Michaela demanded.

  Not a chance in hell. Her sense of fair play would crush her with guilt if she knew that her action could lose him his forest, not to mention all of their lives. He tucked the decree into his pocket. “Ready to go?” He wouldn’t even hint at a problem.

  She narrowed her eyes and muttered something about men, which he accepted silently. If she thought that he was sulking, all the better. “Ready when you are.”

  They emerged from the side of the tree in the middle of High Park and shivered. Although it had been warm and cloudless where they’d been, Toronto was windswept and rainy with gloomy fog that clung to the trees like shrouds.

  “Let’s go.” Cormac pointed to the east. “Car park is that way.”

  Michaela followed him silently, still stewing. He glanced behind after they’d walked a few feet to see that the door in the tree they’d left was no longer visible. Had it not been for a newly broken twig by the roots, no one walking by would have even known it was different than the others.

  They walked quickly, each caught up in their own thoughts. Cormac’s concern had shifted from his forest to Michaela. He didn’t like leaving her alone. Someone had tried to kill her, and all he wanted to do was make sure it didn’t happen again. Why was that a bad thing? Also, he didn’t trust Stephan more than he could throw him, but that was natural.

  She needed him. Needed his help, his protection. Why was it so hard for her to admit it?

  They got to the top of the hill and Michaela stopped abruptly beside him. Raindrops clung to her skin and hair, making it even darker under the clouds. Her thin jacket stuck to her, outlining the thin lines of her shoulders and arms.

  Michaela turned to him. “This is only what you want to see, Cormac.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She pointed at herself. “This is my natural self, but not my only masque. You’ve seen me shift but you still don’t seem to get it. I don’t need a man to protect me because I can be a man. I can also protect myself as a woman. This is what it means to be a masquerada.”

  “How did you know what I was thinking?” he demanded. Were the masquerada mind readers as well?

  She put a hand on her hip. “Not hard. You’re stomping around and muttering to yourself.”

  Cormac sighed and ran his hand over his eyes. He was being a dick. “I know you’re right. Isindle told me almost the exact same thing when I tried to look out for her.” Multiple times, and even after it was clear that her mage’s power far outstripped anything he could offer while in exile.

  “Please don’t tell me you can’t help it. That’s such a cliché.”

  Now he laughed. “A true one. I can’t.”

  “You have to.”

  He sighed. “I’ll try,” he lied. Anything to at least get them off this topic.

  “Good.” She paused for a moment. “I was a possession before, you see. When I was younger.”

  A light rain started to fall, and he pulled them under the shelter covering some small picnic tables. “In China?”

  “When I was born, girl-children were not welcomed.” She sat on the top of a picnic table with her feet on the bench. “It was different in my family. They saw me as a way to make money.”

  She shivered and Cormac wrapped his arm around her to keep her warm. He forgot how small Michaela was at times. “What happened?”

  “None of our neighbors knew we were arcana. We blended and humans at the time…the men had multiple wives. They all wanted sons. My parents found an old, desperate man and sold me to him.”

  Cormac held her closer and said nothing.

  “I was to make children. I didn’t, of course. My parents wanted me to because they could have gotten more money out of an heir, but I took the tea my amah had given me.”

  “Then what happened?”

  She laughed grimly. “He died. Luckily not in the room with me. My parents took me back and forced my first shift on me. It…hurt.” She paused. “They couldn’t wait until
I was ready to do it on my own. They wanted me to look different, younger, so they could sell me again.”

  Cormac’s throat was tight. “How many times?”

  “Six.” She rubbed a dead leaf between her fingers. “When I finally said no more, they sent me to my uncle’s in Melaka.”

  “He did the same thing?”

  “He tried. I was named after my mother, Miao Hua.” Cormac blinked at this abrupt change of topic but let her speak. “Exquisite Flower.”

  “What does your name mean?”

  “Exquisite Bell. The chime of the bell. My father called me Braying Donkey.”

  “Tell me more.”

  Michaela squinted at the drizzle falling outside their shelter. “He thought I owed him for my room and board. That I owed it to the family to increase our wealth. We were an old lineage but our family’s masquing abilities varied. I was the strongest and it was my duty to help them all. I thought there was another way I could contribute. He disagreed, said I was too young to know the world and that humans didn’t deserve what they had, those riches and prestige.”

  He sounded like an asshole. Cormac stayed silent, keeping his rage inside.

  “He sent me to my uncle in Malaysia. Put me on one of Uncle’s merchant ships and sent me off like a package. He was smiling when the junk left.”

  A couple walked by holding an empty leash in one hand. Behind them bounded a lean husky, rain beading on its fur. It looked into the shelter and paused before being distracted by a fat black squirrel. All around him, life went on.

  Michaela sighed, a small sound like that of the young girl who’d been expected to be less than what she was. She gave herself a shake and him a thin smile. “I learned that I was my own protector, there. It’s held me in good stead.”

  She moved his arm off and hopped off the table with her usual grace. “We should get going.”

  Cormac caught up to her with a few steps. It was hard to tell if the water on her cheeks was rain or tears, but he touched her arm then pulled her into a hard embrace. Words were inadequate, so he gave her a kiss on her wet hair. “You’re incredible,” he said softly.

  Michaela gave a little shake. “We should go,” she repeated.

  * * * *

  The drizzle had turned to rain by the time they reached the car. She started the engine, then rubbed her hands together against the chill damp. “Tell me where to drop you off before I go for lunch.”

  “I want to come with you.”

  She didn’t even look at him. “Did you not hear a word I said?”

  “I’m still your Watcher,” he reminded her.

  “So you are. As you also tell me, we are connected through our mating bond. That will do for the two hours I’m at dim sum.”

  Michaela turned out into the light traffic on Bloor Street. At the first red she glanced at her phone and put it back down. Cormac couldn’t resist reading Kings noodle on Spadina. See u soon. xo

  She glared at him. “Done spying?”

  There was no defense so he gestured at a little parkette he saw. “I can walk to Eric’s from here.”

  She didn’t even look over as he got out of the car but the way she floored the accelerator told him what he needed to know.

  That he knew he was in the wrong was not helping him. Rationally, yes. The story of her past had been wrenching and he could see that the woman he knew had been formed out of a crucible. There was nothing he could do to make up for the way her family had degraded her in the distant past.

  He steered himself towards the wood and automatically headed southwest. He hadn’t wanted to worry her, but her attempted killers would know by now that the second try had failed. Maybe they would try again. Today. He pulled out his phone and shook his head. There was no way Michaela would listen to him now. Better to keep an eye out.

  Off to Chinatown.

  Chapter 27

  Michaela and Ivy left the restaurant together burdened with bags of heavy Styrofoam takeout containers for Eric and the others. They barely managed to get around the corner onto Dundas Street before they burst out laughing. Ivy wiped her eyes.

  “Ma really lost it this time,” she said admiringly. “What about when she started to cry and said I would never find a doctor to marry if I failed med school?”

  Michaela groaned. Ivy’s mother had a deeply admirable belief in the benefits of higher education. Ivy wanted to be a doctor and her mother supported that. However, she couldn’t hide the fact she also desperately wanted her only daughter to marry a doctor. Ivy’s father didn’t care who or if his daughter married, but thought any second away from studying was time stolen from a future career.

  Ivy’s sweet heart-shaped face had taken on Yao’s mulish expression as her mother went on—and on—about how Ivy was in school to learn and not work as a barmaid. Michaela had done her best to keep plates and teacups full.

  “Anatomy test on Monday,” Ivy said regretfully. “Time to hit the books. I’m going to walk back. It’s not far.”

  As she spoke, a plump raindrop splattered on the ground. “I’ll drive you,” said Michaela.

  She and Ivy walked slowly to the car park, laughing about other parts of the lunch. Ivy chatted about what she was learning in school. Michaela listened with real pleasure, wondering what it would have been like to have her learning encouraged like Ivy, who would have every opportunity to learn and grow. Her own past must have been on her mind, to have told Cormac so much in the park. That was a mistake. She needed to guard herself against such disclosures.

  The garage was emptier than she expected for a Saturday. She juggled the three bags of food to get at her keys, deciding to pick up some wine as well after dropping Ivy off. It would be her apology to the others for missing most of today’s planning session.

  Ivy made a choking noise.

  Michaela spun to see four huge men surrounding them. Not human, she knew that instantly. Masquerada, though she didn’t know them. Three faced her and the last, who was already reaching his hand out, stared at Ivy with the avid stare of a hunter who had sighted prey.

  She didn’t hesitate. In a second, she had taken on her toughest, meanest masque. Yuri had none of Michaela’s usual intellectual approach. Where Michaela might have hesitated, looking for a more strategic method, Yuri assessed his opponents and attacked in a single moment.

  The attacker focused on Ivy had a gun and the girl’s wide eyes looked from the weapon to the giant who had burst through her auntie’s clothes before she collapsed. Michaela approved. The dead weight would make her harder to move and less likely to get accidentally killed if she tried to run.

  She flung out her arm, grateful that Eric loved congee. The hot rice porridge flew out of the bag to explode in the face of her nearest enemy, giving her enough time to drive her foot into his knee and hear a rewarding scream of pain. In the same motion, she turned and brought her elbow into the unprotected throat of the second. He went down.

  The gun fired but the bullet went wide. Michaela pulled out her knife, but before she could throw it, a shining blur of man leapt into the fight. Cormac didn’t even bother with a weapon but took the masquerada down with a kick to the knees and slammed his head into the ground.

  That left the final attacker, who stared at the carnage with wide eyes before pivoting on his heel. He managed to get about four strides before Michaela tackled him, brutally slamming his face into the concrete until it was a gruesome red mess.

  When she turned, Cormac had Ivy gathered in his arms. His eyes were green fire and his voice rough. “Into the car.”

  He tossed her the dropped keys and Michaela didn’t hesitate. Cormac lifted Ivy’s small body into the backseat. Then he paused and motioned for her to pop the trunk. With one hand he hauled up the closest body and threw it in.

  Michaela shifted out of her Yuri masque and was ready to go when Cormac got into the bac
kseat beside Ivy.

  “Eric’s?” he said.

  “Yes. How is she?” It was difficult to keep her attention on the car.

  There was a long silence before Cormac responded. “Good. Looks like she knocked her head when she passed out, but no other injuries. What the hell happened there?”

  She glanced back in the rearview and her eyes widened. Cormac had the face of a solider—hard, stern, and focused. “You tell me,” she said.

  “Another attempt to kill you.” His voice was tight.

  “Why are you here?”

  “I was worried about you.” He said it simply and honestly.

  Their gazes met in the rearview mirror. “Thank you,” she said. She had almost expected him to be there, she thought with surprise. She’d known he would be there for her, that she could depend on him.

  She turned the corner. Later. She could think about all this later, after Ivy was safe.

  * * * *

  Cormac looked up when the medic stepped out of Ivy’s room. They’d been waiting for over an hour and he thought Michaela’s pacing was going to wear a hole in the corridor floor. His sigil throbbed with each step she took, like an alternate heartbeat.

  The medic pulled down her mask. “She’s asleep.”

  Michaela sighed with relief and finally stopped pacing. “Her memories?”

  “Michaela,” said Tom in a warning tone.

  She held up a hand, clearly still furious. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

  Cormac bit his lips so as to not interfere. The vampire Estelle appeared behind the medic, pale and with dark circles under her eyes. Her voice rasped when she spoke. “She’ll remember feeling dizzy. You can tell her that it was probably stress-related.” Estelle fixed her hair with trembling fingers. “I want her to stay here for a day or two at least. Tell her she’s at the house of a doctor friend of yours.”