Masked Desire

  He had said nothing but held her closer until she finally dozed off.

  When she dragged herself into the room where Stephan sat with Ivy, he was drawing pictures on her palm with his fingers and murmuring in a soft voice.

  “How is she?”

  He glanced up and didn’t answer. She didn’t expect one. The question was a formality. Had there been a change she would have been notified.

  “I’ve been thinking,” Stephan said instead. “Perhaps we’ve been looking at this wrong.”

  Michaela pulled over a chair to sit on Ivy’s other side and gripped the girl’s cool, limp hand. Her throat tightened to the point where she could hardly swallow but she ignored it. Breaking down was not going to help Ivy. “I’m listening.”

  “Sitting here, I’ve been thinking of the past.” He had a distant look on his face as he stared over Michaela’s shoulder at the wall. “Thinking about my life before I was taken.”

  Stephan had been transformed into a masquerada in Africa before he was kidnapped and sold to a sugar plantation. He rarely spoke of his early life. Now he turned his gaze over to her.

  “What was your first shift like?”

  He’d probably assumed that it had been a gentle and caring experience, as it should have been. Michaela shuddered, still traumatized centuries later. “Not good. I was too young and ill-prepared for what happened.”

  This was an understatement. It had been brutal and cruel. Masquerada children underwent their first shift in a long ritual after months of training. She had a week of preparation and then her parents forced her first shift on her by keeping her awake for four days. Michaela had been sold to her second husband a month after.

  “Tell me what you saw when it happened,” he said.

  “What I saw?” she echoed.

  “I saw the multitude.” He held up his hand to prevent her from speaking. “I don’t know what it is, but I felt thousands of masques. So did Eric.”

  “The multitude.” Astonishment caused Michaela to drop Ivy’s hand.

  “I’ve spoken to others—Tom for instance—and they all said their focus was inward. I assumed it was different for true-borns.” He stared at her with his dark eyes. “You saw it, didn’t you?”

  “I thought I’d hallucinated it,” she said. She’d called it the horde in her head, but it sounded like the same thing—a feeling of endless masques surrounding her and calling her name. They were desperate, wanting her to acknowledge them. She’d completed the shift into a new masque babbling about what she’d seen and had been told she was ridiculously hysterical.

  “I have a theory,” Stephan said softly. “We know Yangzei as the Eye Thief. We’ve talked about what this means.”

  “Souls.” She repressed a shudder.

  “What if the multitude we sensed are the souls Yangzei has stolen? What if traumatic transformations, like ours, open our eyes to it?”

  “It’s possible. When I touched Yangzei, I had a similar sensation, like many souls calling to me.”

  “There’s another thing. We’re all very strong, you, Eric and I.”

  She nodded. “But my lineage has pockets of strength, and you need to be strong to survive the transformation, don’t you?”

  “That’s what we thought. What if there’s another reason? What if when we shifted, we all connected with that multitude and Yangzei?”

  “Well, what if?” She tightened her grip on Ivy’s hand, excited by where he was going.

  “This might be crazy.”

  Like any of this could get any crazier. “Go on.”

  “I think that if I’m right, then we can help Ivy by reconnecting with Yangzei.”

  Michaela wondered if it was a measure of how tired she was that this sounded like a perfectly reasonable idea. Her mind went straight to the logistics. “We’d need to find him.”

  “I’ve thought about that too. Tried meditating, but no go. Cormac?”

  Now it was getting a little nuts. Stephan must be tired as well. “Cormac is fey,” she reminded him.

  “He also has access to an older magic than we do. Your mate was the only one who was able to withstand Yangzei.”

  She had used his energy. She mulled it over. It made sense. “How does that work for actually finding an Ancient?”

  Stephan rubbed his dark eyes. “For that, you’ll need to ask him.”

  “Ask who what?” Cormac’s voice came from the doorway.

  * * * *

  Cormac tightened his lips. He wasn’t pleased to see Michaela and Stephan together, but they were at least on opposite sides of Ivy’s bed. Deep down, he knew he was overreacting. He’d watched Estelle carefully. Vampires were possessive, and if she’d had the slightest suspicion Michaela was competition for Stephan, Estelle would have had her throat. Or tried to. His woman was tough.

  Then there was Michaela herself. He could trust his mate. This might not be the relationship she wanted, but she would be true to it until it was annulled.

  He didn’t know how he felt about that. He had no desire to be mated, but mated to Michaela was not what he expected. Her presence was a comfort more than an interference.

  Rendell’s comment came back to him, Tismelda’s threat to seize his forest. Not much point in being mated if they both ended up dead. Hiro’s Japanese forest was in a legal limbo as the executor sorted out his will and refused to communicate with Cormac until he was ready. Damn the man.

  Michaela looked up with a tired smile and he moved closer. “We were talking about Yangzei.” She filled him in on Stephan’s theory.

  Cormac stood beside her and looked down at Ivy’s face. Although she would still not respond to stimuli, he occasionally thought he saw a small spasm run through her muscles. It was as quick as a blink but left the impression of a powerful internal fight. His gut clenched at the terrors Ivy’s soul was experiencing, and that settled what he’d been considering.

  “I had a similar feeling during the attack, but I wouldn’t know how to use that to our advantage,” he said. “I need to see Isindle. Fey magic helped bring Yangzei down. It could be our hope to get back Ivy.”

  “Your sister is back home.”

  “I need to return to the Queendom.” He’d been mulling it over anyway, considering finding some old allies to help him protect his forest before Tismelda could act on her threat to take it.

  Michaela stood abruptly. “Then you break your exile.”

  Stephan glanced at the two of them and murmured an excuse as he sidled out.

  “I think I can help,” Cormac said.

  Michaela pulled her hand back from where she had laid it on his arm. “When you’re executed?”

  “Tismelda won’t even know I’m there.” Michaela didn’t need to know about his plans to save Yetting Forest. “I’ll meet my sister in a place we both know and be back before you know it.”

  “How long, exactly?”

  “I don’t think long.”

  “That is not an answer.” She took a step back and planted both hands on her hips.

  “I know.” He tugged her close and and rested his chin on her hair. Her sweet tuberose embraced him and he breathed deep. She struggled briefly, then sighed and leaned into him.

  “Yangzei is a monster,” she mumbled into his chest. Her breath puffed onto his skin. “He could come back while you’re gone.”

  He’d thought of this as well. “He’s taken what he wants from Ivy. I need to go. Isindle is the scholar in the family. I’m the muscle.”

  Her laughter tickled him. “Only that?”

  Estelle poked her head into the room and Michaela pulled away from him. “Out you go,” Estelle chirped. There were two bright red spots high on her cheeks and her eyes were sparking. “My turn with Ivy. Today I’m going to tell her how to do the perfect smoky eye.”

  “Ivy doesn’t wear make
-up,” Michaela said absently.

  “She will when she hears how easy it is. Now, get some rest.” Estelle made a shooing motion with the one hand that was not carrying a briefcase of cosmetics.

  Michaela dropped a kiss on Ivy’s forehead and left with Cormac. Once out in the hall, she sighed. “I’m lucky,” she said simply.

  Cormac nodded. While fey families would rally around a member in need, it was rare that friends would interfere or offer intensive support the way Michaela’s had.

  He led her to the dining room and sat her at the table before going to the buffet that Cynthia had left out. Michaela needed to refuel. He picked out the juiciest fruit and filled a plate with toast and eggs that he placed before her. “Eat.”

  She picked up a fork without answering. “Isindle,” she said. “Tell me more about her.”

  Cormac poured them some tea. How to describe his sister and do her justice? “She reminds me of a white flower at home we call the star rose. Its vine is so strong you need an axe to cut it. The flowers are delicate enough that a summer breeze can blow off the petals.”

  Michaela offered him a strawberry. “An iron core, then.”

  “One that needs to be protected. A star rose that loses its blossoms too many times will wither and die.” His parents had been the ones to provide him this analogy when Isindle was a child and absorbed in her books.

  “Yet she’s a scholar.” Michaela sniffed the tea and nodded with unconscious approval.

  “The best in the Queendom.” It was impossible for Cormac to keep the pride out of his tone. Isindle spent most of her life in either the library or roaming the land hunting for rare books. It was the one area of her life where she was fearless and would take any risk to obtain knowledge. Before his exile, he’d made a private visit to the magehood to insist they send an escort with her at all times and supplied the funds to pay for it. There was no need to tell Isindle, but it was for her own safety. He’d heard she’d once swam a flooding stream to get to a castle that held a text she wanted.

  Michaela shoved her plate away. “You’re sure she can help Ivy? It’s worth the risk?”

  Cormac stared out the window. Light streamed through the wide windows and the clouds in the sky were like the wispy breath of a tired goddess. “I think that you have no choice.” He paused. “If Yangzei comes back, he will do the same with others as he has done with Ivy, and perhaps on a broader scale.”

  She planted her elbows on the table and laid her head in her hands. “Eric said as much.”

  “Since it’s also reasonable to assume that every soul that he takes makes him stronger, I think we have to act. We need Isindle’s knowledge.”

  She nodded slowly. “Fey magic is different than that of other arcana.”

  “Older. We aren’t like you. That’s why you were able to use mine to fight Yangzei.” He touched his sigil.

  “You’re right.”

  “Good.”

  “I still don’t like you breaking your exile. Can you not summon her here instead?”

  “I tried.” It had been his first thought and he’d rushed back to High Park last night while Michaela sat with Ivy. He’d failed. Isindle might be too weak to appear so soon after her last astral visit. Or she might be in danger. More reason to go home.

  “Okay.” She pushed her chair back. “When do we leave?”

  Chapter 35

  Cormac ducked into a small, manicured park behind a row of houses. There were no portals into the Queendom he was permitted to use, so he was going to have to do it the hard way. He walked nonchalantly by a group of mothers doing stretches and jumping jacks with their babies in strollers next to them. Hopefully they would be too engrossed with their quads to call the police when they saw a man ducking into the copse of trees by the path.

  He glanced back to see if Eric’s house was still within sight. At least Michaela had finally seen reason. Caro had come in the middle of their argument—apparently she’d heard them from two floors away—and had whisked his mate away for what had apparently been an effective talk. When Michaela returned, she still looked furious but had been realistic. It was for her own safety. Queen Tismelda was not to be trifled with, and he was already in her bad books. To bring his illegal masquerada mate as he tried to sneak into the Queendom without the queen’s knowledge would be in the world of high comedy, it was so absurd.

  A couple strolled by, holding hands. They saw Cormac and whispered to each other as he tried to look casual, a regular guy hanging out alone in a bunch of trees. He waited until they were out of sight and sank deeper into the Douglas firs. Better move fast before they came back to check on him.

  Cormac reached into his pocket for the knife he’d grabbed before he’d left Eric’s house. A quick slice removed the bark from the largest fir and revealed the cold inner wood.

  He paused. This was it. Once he carved those three runes into the tree, he was irrevocably committed and completely within the queen’s power.

  It had to be done. He carved the runes. Whispering a short invocation, he slashed his palm and pressed the cut to the characters. Blood filled the sharp channels and the needles at his feet moved as the wind picked up. Tingles ran from his hand into his body and he shut his eyes. Opening a rogue portal was the roughest way to enter. He groaned as a hundred fists pummeled him and a thousand feet kicked. The air was sucked out of his lungs. He was going to die.

  There was someone holding his foot.

  * * * *

  Before Cormac left for the Queendom, Michaela had watched him pack the few things he would need. They were all weapons.

  She’d assessed Eric’s knife collection. “Take the throwing blades.”

  “Good choice.” He’d wrapped the holsters around his wrists and thighs as she’d taken a moment to admire him.

  “We’re mated,” she’d said.

  He had smiled in a way that had made her flush. “A fact of which I am most intimately aware.”

  “If you die there, then I die here?”

  He’d paused only for a moment. “I’m not planning to die.”

  “Hypothetically. Until it gets fixed, we’re in this together. It’s not like someone can suddenly take over your place as my mate.”

  His eyes darkened as he’d laid a hand on her arm. “No one else will take my place as your mate, Miaoling.”

  The use of her real name had caused Michaela to catch her breath. It had been so intimate, how he said it. “No,” she whispered. “No one else.”

  “Stay safe here. This is bigger than Hiro and Madden now. You’re a target.”

  “I was before. Also, I’ve got Stephan and the others.” That was a comfort, though Cormac’s jaw had twitched as she said it.

  Cormac had leaned down and grasped her arms hard as his mouth almost came down on hers. Then he pulled back and instead kissed her ear.

  It was Michaela who sought his lips. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him, lightly at first and then with a passion that took her by surprise. Cormac. Her head spun. She wanted everything she could take from him. Wanted to call him hers.

  Wanted to be his.

  This was the first kiss she’d shared and the intimacy she so feared instead increased her desire. Their mating bond connected them at a deeper level than she could have imagined.

  He pulled her closer and Michaela panted under his mouth. Her tongue darted out to lick his lip. Their bond made every sensation more intense. This kiss was magnified by her feeling him feeling her.

  His kiss was such a clear claim that it left her breathless.

  “We may have been mated by accident but we are now mated. You’re mine.”

  “Then you’re mine.” The words came out before she thought but it was true. They belonged to each other now, however it had happened.

  “Yes.” He kissed the side of her mouth. “I thought that was
clear.”

  Then he had left.

  Michaela. Michaela.

  She forced her eyes open, the memory of Cormac’s earlier kiss still on her lips. It was the only pleasant thing about her current situation. It hurt to blink. “Are we here?”

  “Jesus God in my forest.” Cormac was almost incandescent with rage, his eyes a bright glowing green. “What the hell happened? You were supposed to stay at Eric’s.”

  “I lied. Why can’t I move?” She didn’t want to sound anxious but knew her voice had ended on a bit of a squeak.

  He shut his eyes. “I know you lied. Why?”

  “How about first you tell me why I can’t fucking move?” She managed to twist her head slightly and saw that Cormac was in no better shape. Unsure of whether it made her feel better this seemed to be a common side effect of entering the fey realm or worse that neither of them could defend the other, Michaela decided to opt for the former. From what she could see, they were in an isolated meadow, pretty and serene.

  “You can’t move because I was trying to sneak in here by taking an alternative and rougher route,” he said with exaggerated calm. “This is the unfortunate side effect.”

  “Look, Cormac.” This was terrible. She couldn’t even argue from a position of power since her body had the strength of jelly. “I know you’re upset.”

  “Aye. Upset is one way to look at it.”

  “You said if one of us dies, we both die.”

  Now he groaned. “I don’t believe this.”

  She plowed on. “I talked it over with Caro and she agreed with me. Better we face this together with our combined strength.” This was a slight gloss on what Caro had actually said, which had included the phrases Don’t be an idiot, I don’t like this, and Fine, I’ll help but I’m not happy about it.

  “The couple in the forest.” He looked unbelieving and shook his head as he looked at her clothes. “Those men were you two. I am such a blind idiot.”

  “Caro wanted to make sure I was able to follow you here.”