He did his best to look encouragingly interested. “Majesty?” Christ, he sounded like a parrot. Never mind. There was nothing Tismelda loved more than hearing her title.
“We’ve had an ambassador come with an offer of alliance. You will be my intermediary.”
“What about Rendell?” Rendell was the perfect diplomat, handsome and evasive.
“Rendell is too wed to the old ways. He wants to stay out of what is happening in the world. If he had his way, we would destroy most of the portals and stay here, isolated and safe. Stagnant. You are different and always have been.”
“I’m honored, but…”
She went on as if she hadn’t heard. “This is a time of much opportunity for us, and much risk. For instance, you lost Yetting Forest because of your mating. I had played with other ways of punishing you, but Isindle was kind enough to gift me your land only this morning. I would naturally need to reward you if you stayed.”
Cormac felt the blood empty from his face to fill his arms as he clenched his fists behind his back. He’d hoped Rendell’s threat had been exaggerated. “Isindle would never do that.” Surely he would have known, sensed his forest’s anguish. Then he remembered what Isindle had said. This is what she’d wanted to talk about. Shite. Shite, shiteshiteshiteshite.
“Not even to save a beloved brother and his new mate? I admit I was quite angry when I found you mated a masquerada, and so very sneakily. The ihune had already left when Isindle managed to placate me with her generous gift. I was able to call them back in time.”
Tismelda had sent assassins? The ihune were a fey secret. They never missed a kill. Michaela could never survive against them, not even with her masquerada strength.
Tismelda smiled with all her teeth. “The choice, Cormac. Stay and regain your forest for your family. The mate returns to her own world. Or go with her and your forest remains mine.”
Cormac reminded himself that Rendell was waiting close by, so to strangle Tismelda bare-handed in the snow, though a pleasant fantasy, would likely end badly for both him and Michaela.
Michaela or his forest.
His forest or Michaela.
The sigil on his chest burned like lightning, but he kept his hands loose at his sides and his face unreadable. Curses bubbled inside of him, catching in his throat until he thought he would choke. Tismelda waited in perfect silence as though she had all the time in the world. She played with a glistening icicle and he noted distractedly it didn’t melt in her hands.
In some ways, there was no choice. If the queen already had Yetting Forest, severing the Redoak connection to the land had begun. Once complete—and it could take days or weeks—his tree would die to let the new owner name another steward. Cormac would die and when he died, Michaela would die. Linear connections.
To leave Michaela and remain in the Queendom meant that all of them would survive. He would keep his forest and his sister safe. Perhaps he could even feed information to Michaela to help the fight against Yangzei and the Dawning.
He would never see Michaela again, but she would be alive.
“How long do I have to decide?” he asked.
The queen tossed the icicle aside. “Why, there should be no decision to make,” she said softly. “You choose now.”
Chapter 37
“I’m staying.”
“What?” Michaela turned from the garden she’d been staring at—a strange grove filled with tall dark trees—to see Cormac standing on the step. Rendell watched them both without expression, his hands still ready on his bow.
“Queen Tismelda has offered to commute my exile,” he said.
She kept her face still, conscious of Rendell’s avid stare. “Why?”
“Michaela, neither of us wanted to be mated,” he said slowly. “It was an accident.”
“You are not answering my question.”
“I’m not sure how long,” he said, moving down a step towards her.
“What’s going on?”
“I need my forest,” he said simply. “A small service for the queen and I can live in Yetting again. It’s important to me.”
“Important to you,” she echoed. “For how long?”
“I don’t know. Tismelda wants me to be at court for a while.” Behind Cormac, Rendell made a face.
Michaela stared at her mate. Cormac was evading the question because this was his excuse to get away from her. At first, Michaela didn’t believe Cormac was picking a forest over her.
Choosing trees over her. Bloody trees.
He’d claimed her as his and then at the first opportunity had turned his back.
Tears of rage built up behind her eyes and she bit her tongue so hard her mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood. She still had her pride, and no one in this land would see her cry, not even if they held her down and cut off her limbs one by one. That would hurt less than what Cormac had done to her heart.
What a gullible idiot you are. Even after all the hints he’d given her about his disloyalty and his love of his forest, she’d been stupid enough to think they’d found something in each other.
Self-recrimination could wait. Her goal now was to return home, alone, with as much self-possession as she could manage.
“A good choice,” she said to Cormac in her old, cold voice. He didn’t change expression, another knife in her chest. “However, I am concerned about the lingering connection of the mating. This will limit me.”
“Do you have another lover back home?” called Rendell with idle interest. “I didn’t think you did.”
Michaela had to restrain herself from masquing and throwing the fey into the air like a rag doll. Then she’d do Cormac for good measure. Not that a masque was necessary. Even as her core self she was angry enough to take them on.
“Miaoling,” Cormac said in a low voice, pitched so only she could hear.
“No.” Her freezing refusal was so harsh that he stopped dead.
The faint sound of silver bells heralded the queen’s arrival. Tismelda surveyed the scene. “Good, you have told her.”
The queen snapped her fingers and Rendell snapped to attention. “Bring the councilor to the main portal and escort her home.” She smiled. “Lord Yetting and I have much to discuss.”
Michaela could not even risk looking at Cormac as she left, nor did he try to stop her. His pine fragrance seemed to linger on her skin and she promised to take a long, hot shower to scrub it off the moment she was out of this nightmare. Then she would carve the sigil, that thing, off her flesh.
Now it was time for the ultimate walk of shame. She didn’t relish returning through that throne room, but of course that’s where Rendell led her, and she would not stoop to request a more private exit. Word of their arrival and meeting with the queen had spread throughout the Lilac Court and the fey were now gathered to watch them leave. Rendell led the way as though she was a prisoner being taken to the gallows.
The courtiers didn’t bother to lower their voices and Michaela heard their malicious, gleeful or bored tones discussing Cormac’s choice as she kept her focus on holding her head high.
A masquerada. What a taint on the Redoak bloodline. How kind the queen was.
Kind? Tismelda?
As handsome as ever. Silana will be happy.
Of course he’d jump at the chance to leave her. An outsider?
She’s unusual looking. Rather like a cat.
Small and hideous. How could he?
Rendell paused at the last comment and twisted to face the silver-haired feywoman who’d said it. “Ah, Mesinda. I didn’t see you there. Have you recovered from your…incident? Tell me. Did the scars heal?”
Mesinda’s face went impossibly yellow and she ran from the room as vicious laughter rose in waves around her. Rendell nudged Michaela and ushered her quickly to the empty courtyard.
“That one was always a bitch,” he said conversationally. “I should thank you for providing me with the opportunity to put her in her place.”
“You’re welcome.” Michaela didn’t have the energy to make a wittier rejoinder. If Rendell showed her the smallest sign of pity she would burst into tears. Her chest tightened until she could barely draw breath. The last time she had cried had been with Cormac and beyond that, at Yao’s death. Cormac had wrested more tears from her than he was worth.
“Redoak never did know what was best for him,” Rendell said casually.
“As I told him, I approve. This mating was not by my choice and it will be a pleasure to be rid of it. How do we get back home?” Michaela looked up at him with a wide smile designed to hide any feelings. “Please tell me it’s more comfortable than the route I took here.”
Rendell gave her a steady look that she met without blinking. “The portal is close by and we can walk there.”
“Good. Let’s go.”
The walk was interminable and although Rendell tried to make conversation about the flowers (“very unique flora”) blooming along the side of the path, all Michaela could manage was to put one foot ahead of the other with as much attitude as possible.
She had no right to think Cormac should have chosen her over his forest. After all, their mating had been a mistake. It had been forced upon him, on both of them.
Fine. She would admit it here. The mating had been a mistake, yes, but it had grown into something special to her, something she hadn’t ever thought she would feel. She trusted him. The mating might not have been planned but it had changed, grown. They fit together. However, she couldn’t win against his forest.
She should have known better.
They were two flowers into Rendell’s botanical dissertation when they arrived at a shimmering circle on the ground. Surrounding the light were carvings of animals so lifelike that they looked as though they would simply walk away. Rendell pointed at the light and stepped back.
“All you need to do is walk into the center.”
Michaela regarded the circle with some suspicion. “Will I be able to move when I arrive back home? Or will I be a jellyfish again?”
“It will be as easy as a moonlight stroll,” he assured her.
Well, it’s not like she had a choice if she wanted to get out of here. She took one last look around at the gorgeously Technicolor Queendom. So much beauty disguising so much rot.
“Farewell, councilor.” Rendell gave her a low bow.
She stepped into the light.
* * * *
Tismelda didn’t even bother to watch Michaela go. Cormac refused to give her the gratification of knowing that she’d ripped out his heart. Even his sigil felt cold, thin shafts of ice digging into his skin.
“Rendell made me a wager that you would choose your mate,” she said. “Of course I knew better.” He allowed himself the brief and delicious fantasy of slicing off the queen’s head. In the distance, thunder rumbled. That wasn’t good. He’d have to watch his caintir power even more closely here to make sure he didn’t unconsciously slip.
Self-absorbed as always, Tismelda had noticed nothing. “You will leave soon.”
“Who will I meet with?”
She smiled. “Her name is Frieda. Frieda Hanver, and she’s expecting you.”
If Cormac thought he hated the queen before, it was nothing compared to what filled his heart now. The assignment had multiple layers of sting that he would have admired had he not been so filled with rage. Tismelda was well-informed and would have known about Michaela’s role in the fight against Frieda and her allies. Did Tismelda have any idea what she was involving the Queendom in? If Eric and the others were correct, this went far deeper than a claim for power. An Ancient could mean destruction on a level they couldn’t even comprehend.
Michaela would never understand why he decided to act as a liaison for the queen. Despite being able to shift into multiple personas, at heart she was not duplicitous. In fact, her masquerada traits made her more honest as she took on the personalities of each masque she inhabited. She wasn’t pretending to be Yuri. She was Yuri. The depths of empathy that transformation required made him shiver. If Michaela was a sea, he was a puddle drying in the middle of a hot concrete street.
This way was better, Cormac assured himself. He would be privy to information that would help Michaela and the others. Perhaps it wasn’t loyalty as she would define it, but it was loyalty all the same and driven by the decision to do what was best.
“When do I leave?” he asked.
Chapter 38
Michaela trudged into Eric’s house. The world looked decidedly dull after the fey homeland, but she couldn’t tell if it was her eyes adjusting or heartache.
Stephan said nothing when he saw she was alone and gave her a quick hug as she came in the door. This time she accepted the comforting embrace. Last year, her relationship with Stephan and the others had been more formal. She’d respected them but true friendship had been missing. One good thing had come out of the entire Iverson mess.
Caro flew down the stairs. “How was it? Where’s Cormac?” She sounded almost breathless. “Ivy is the same and Eric is with her now.”
The Hierarch came down behind her. “Got kicked out by the medics, so I have twenty minutes.” He grabbed Caro by the waist and gave her a kiss that caused Stephan to sigh and cover his eyes.
“Cormac is staying in the Queendom.” Better to get it out now. “The queen has ended his exile.”
“What did you say?” demanded Caro. A small line had appeared between her eyes.
“I followed Cormac to the Queendom, and we were taken to Queen Tismelda.”
Eric raised his eyebrows. “Is she as bad as we’ve heard?”
“Yes.” No more needed to be said. “She was very interested in Cormac’s experience with the outside world. I think she means to use him as an ambassador of sorts. Since it is clearly not with us, I believe it’s with the Dawning.”
Eric frowned. “That’s a leap.”
“It’s logical,” she said. “I was right there. I am the head of your High Council. If she wanted to parley with us, she had a grand opportunity right there.”
“You don’t know that she wants him as an ambassador,” Eric said gently. “It’s possible, but with the fey so are many things.”
“I know it,” she said stubbornly. “She wants him for a reason.”
“Even if she does, why does he need to stay there?” asked Caro. “Can’t he commute?”
Michaela took a deep breath. “You all know our mating was a mistake.”
“It didn’t look like he was treating it as a mistake from my perspective,” said Caro heatedly. “He chose to stay and not come back?”
“Yes. He chose his forest.”
Caro coughed. “Sorry. Did you say he left you over some plants?”
“The fey have a complex relationship to their forests,” said Eric pedantically. Then he added, “The fucking bastard son of a bitch.”
Michaela had to snap her teeth down on her tongue again. It would be shameful to burst into tears here.
As if Eric read her mind, he said, “I think we need some time to consider this, and Michaela will want to see Ivy. We’ll reconvene with the others in an hour.”
Michaela walked out with her head high. Ivy. She almost ran down the hall to her room where the girl lay unchanged, pale in the bed, tubes connecting her to softly beeping machines. “How long can she exist like this?” Michaela asked the attending medic.
“Indefinitely. She’s not getting worse. Physically, she’s fine. Her heart and the rest of her organs are working as they should.”
“Her mind?”
The medic’s eyes were on Ivy. “There’s much we don’t know about how the human brain works. Add into that an attack by an Ancient? We’re i
n a world of unknowns.”
With that, the medic left. Michaela took her place by Ivy’s side, smoothing the girl’s black hair back from her forehead. She spoke in Chinese. “Wo ai ni.” I love you.
She told Ivy about her trip to the Queendom, finding the hidden beauties even as she described them. As she spoke, she drew small pictures on Ivy’s palm with her finger. A lovely flower. The queen’s icicle. Cormac’s smile.
Erase that.
She was drawing an intricate design on Ivy’s still hand when Eric came in. “Ivy wants to be a doctor. Did I tell you that?” Michaela’s gaze stayed on the girl’s slack face, the lashes a dark smear on her cheek.
“You did.” Eric pulled out a chair and sat across from her, dark hair tumbling over his forehead. He pushed it away and leaned forward to take Ivy’s other hand.
“Did you learn anything that will help Ivy while you were there?” he asked.
Michaela shook her head. “Cormac was able to get a message to his sister. Or at least he said he did.”
“There might be more to this than we know,” said Eric. “The relationship between the fey and the natural world is something they’ve never explained to outsiders.”
Michaela glared at him. “Do you know how long it took for him to decide to stay? No time at all. He was the one telling me the mating bond meant something and didn’t even hesitate.”
“How do you feel?”
“Angry.” The word burst out of her mouth. “He played me for a fool and I’m so angry I could kill.”
Eric gave a wry laugh. “Good to hear, since that’s what’s probably going to happen soon.”
She stared at him. “What do you mean?”
A rustle came from the door and Estelle cleared her throat. “Couldn’t help but overhear. First, Cormac is a total jerk and Caro and I are going to take you out for wine tonight.” She glared at Eric, who had sighed heavily and put his hand over his face. “Problems?”
Masked Desire Page 25