by Ellie Wade
Alma opens her eyes with a gasp. “What?” She chuckles, her eyes sparkling.
The core group of people she cares about stands before us on the glittery white dance floor, cheering.
The backyard is draped in a canopy of twinkle lights creating a magical feel to the space. I hired a company that set up a bar, complete with a champagne fountain. The party designer set up an elegant food and dessert station, complete with food and goodies from Alma’s favorite restaurants in Ann Arbor.
Our friends stand beneath the canopy of lights on the dance floor. The space resembles a princess fairy ball with incredible food served on fancy white plates.
“Happy Birthday.” I smile.
Alma turns to me in disbelief. “But my birthday was a couple of weeks ago.”
“That’s part of the surprise.” I smirk.
Her mouth breaks into a smile, the one that never fails to make my heart stutter. She levels a gaze at me, one full of complete adoration, and takes my face between her hands. “You are too good to me, Amos,” she says before capturing my lips in a kiss.
The group of partygoers goes quiet, and Alma tenses. Her mouth freezes against mine as we realize what we just did and how much of a surprise it must be.
The summer has been such a whirlwind of new love and experiences for us that Alma hasn’t gotten together with her friends to tell them about our new adventure together. We’ve talked about the fact that we need to tell people but never got around to telling anyone as we were completely captivated with our life in our happy little bubble.
“I flipping knew it!” Quinn yells as the group starts to cheer again.
Alma removes her lips from mine and looks over the deck railing. “Surprise. We’re together,” she says sheepishly, gliding her fingers through mine and raising our joined hands in the air.
More hoots and hollers emerge. Alma laughs and turns back toward me, burying her face in my chest.
We make our way down the steps of the deck to greet everyone.
We come to Cat and Mrs. Harding first. Alma says, “Hi. Is this weird?”
“Gosh, no!” Cat pulls Alma into a hug. “You deserve to be happy. This is great.”
Mrs. Harding shakes my hand. “Thank you for inviting me, Amos. I’m so grateful.”
I nod in response.
“Happy late Birthday, Alma.” She gives her an awkward side hug. “You know he’d want you to be happy,” she says with a tight grin.
“I know. Thank you,” Alma says.
“I was hoping to spend some time with Love,” Mrs. Harding asks hesitantly.
“Of course. You’ll find her next to the dessert table.” Alma chuckles. “She loves to dance. If you tell the DJ to play a song from the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack, you’ll make her day.”
Mrs. Harding’s face lights up. “Oh, I’ll do that. Thank you,” she says before scurrying off to see Love.
Quinn tackle hugs Alma and me, squeezing us tight and rocking us back and forth. “I knew you two would end up together. A squared, together, forever.” She takes a step back with an approving smile on her face. “I always knew it, even in college. Remember I kept asking you why you weren’t with Amos? There’s always been this energy between you, like the two of you are one person—an extension of each other.” She holds a hand from each of us in hers. “This is right.” She nods. “Meant to be. I’m so happy for you.” Her stare connects with Alma’s. “You deserve all the happiness in the world.”
Alma circles her arms around Quinn, and the two of them hug. “Thank you,” Alma says quietly. “That means a lot.”
“I need to know all the details, like how and when?” Quinn says.
“Okay, let me make my rounds and say hello to everyone here. Then Amos and I will fill a plate with tacos, which I see eyeing me over there.” Alma nods toward the food table. “And we’ll meet you at one of the back tables and give you all the details.”
“Every last one?” Quinn raises a brow, a smirk on her face.
“If you really want them.” Alma shakes her head with a laugh.
“Oh, I do.”
Hand in hand, Alma and I make our rounds, chat with our friends and thank them for coming. Alma’s smile doesn’t leave her face, and I’m content. This is exactly what I wanted for her, a night when she could feel special and see just how much she means to those in her life.
On our way to the food table, the first few notes of the Beauty and the Beast ballad plays. Mrs. Potts, aka Angela Lansbury, starts to sing, and Alma grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor.
Beside us, Mrs. Harding holds Love, and the two sway to the music. Leo’s mother is experiencing true bliss with her granddaughter, a little girl version of her late son, and my heart goes out to her. Her role has been anything but acceptable in her son’s life. Yet I can’t help but feel sorry for her just the same. She reminds me of my own mother, kind but weak. There’s no excuse for her not protecting her son, but I feel for her and can’t help thinking she’s somehow a victim, too.
I look at Alma, her beautiful browns sparkle beneath the twinkle lights, and she stares up at me with so much adoration. She’s strong and kind. She’d never let harm come to her daughter. She’s had trials in her life but has never used them as excuses to be less than the person she’s destined to be. I don’t know what makes the difference between a mother like Alma and a mother like Mrs. Harding.
Alma lifts up on her toes and places a soft kiss on my lips. “You know this could be our song in a way?”
“I’m a beast?” I quirk a brow.
“Gosh, no,” she says. “You’re obviously the beauty, and I’m the beast.”
“How is that even possible?”
“I was broken, covered in layers of hurt and grief. You were patient and loved me, giving me the support I needed to shed the layers one by one until the beast of sorrow released me, allowing me to be here with you in this world of immense happiness. You loved me when I was shrouded in pain. You’ve always viewed me through rose-colored glasses. You’ve never seen the ugliness.”
I pull her closer and kiss her forehead. “You’re wrong, my love. There’s never been ugliness to see. That’s all in your head. To me, you are and have always been the most beautiful woman in the world.”
She presses her cheek against my chest, and we dance.
The song ends, and an upbeat tune plays through the speakers.
“Ready for your tacos?” I ask.
“Always.” Alma follows me to the food table.
In my peripheral, Quinn waits at a table, wineglass in hand.
I eye Quinn. “That conversation is going to be uncomfortable. Isn’t it?”
Alma laughs. “Oh, yes. She won’t have a filter just because you’re there.”
“Maybe I should give you two some alone girl time,” I offer.
“You’re more than welcome to sit with us, but I won’t pretend the awkwardness of the conversation won’t give you nightmares,” Alma teases.
“Yeah, I’ll go check on your mother and visit with the crew from work.”
“It’s probably best.” She chuckles, placing a handful of cilantro on her corn tortilla.
I kiss her temple. “Have fun.”
“Love you,” she says.
“Love you.”
27
Alma
Love walks between Lee-Anne and me, holding our hands as we stroll through campus. It’s been a while since I’ve been back to Eastern. This place holds so many memories—each one more beautiful and heartbreaking than the last.
My mother has never seen the campus or where I spent four years of my life as she and my father weren’t around when I was in college. She admires the brick dormitory as if it’s the Sistine Chapel or something.
“It’s just dorm rooms, Mom,” I say with a laugh.
“I think it’s a very nice building, Almalee.”
I shake my head.
“Come on, this way.” I lead us past the dorms to the old
frat house where I saw Leo for the second time.
I entertain my mother with a few PG stories from those first few parties. It’s so crazy to think back to those moments when it was all starting.
We cross the street.
“And this was our first house,” I say to Love. “Your daddy lived here first, and then I moved in.”
“Oh, this is beautiful.” Lee-Anne’s voice is in awe.
“I agree with you there. Leo had it restored and remodeled. It’s a special house, that’s for sure.”
“You lived here with Daddy?” Love asks.
We stand on the sidewalk facing the front porch of the grand home.
“We did. It was a happy place. We had Amos, and Quinn, and Ethan, and Aunt Cat over all the time. We celebrated holidays here, and lived here when we were first married. I loved it.”
“I wonder who lives here now?” Lee-Anne says.
“I don’t know.” I look at my first home with Leo with fond nostalgia. I hope that whoever lives here now is as happy within those walls as I was. “We should go. Aunt Cat should be at the restaurant about now.”
I lead them down the block from the house.
“This Coney Island was where Daddy and I had our first date. It was his favorite place to eat. You’ll love it,” I tell Love. “A sweet man named Luca owns it, and he makes the best chili cheese fries in the world.”
The bell chimes over the door as we enter. Luca stops what he’s doing and calls out, “Alma, my love! It’s been too long.” He rushes over to me and hugs me tight. I wrap my arms around him and cling to this comfort from my past. Luca was a friend to Leo when he needed one. He gave me a job when I needed one. He has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I’ve met in this life. I haven’t seen him in years, and it’s as if no time has passed.
Luca steps back. Holding my shoulders, he assesses me. “You look good. Happy.”
“Thank you. You look good, too.”
“Who’d you bring with you today?” he asks.
“This is my mom, Lee-Anne, and my daughter, Love.”
Luca crouches to Love’s level. “She’s his spitting image,” he says, unshed tears in his eyes.
“She is,” I agree.
He holds out his hand to shake Love’s. “Your daddy was my favorite customer and a good friend.”
Luca stands and addresses my mother. “And now I see where Alma gets her great beauty from.” He reaches for my mother’s hand and kisses the top of it, causing her to blush.
“You know what Leo would be saying to you right now?” I quirk a brow toward Luca.
“Oh yes, I do.” He nods. “He’d say, ‘Luca, stop being creepy and bring us chili cheese fries and Cokes!’”
I throw my head back and laugh. “That’s exactly what he’d say, and you sound a lot like him.”
“Well, let me get you to your seat. I believe a member of your party is already here.” He motions toward the back booth where Cat stands, waiting for us.
She’s more casual than normal with a black tank top and ripped skinny jeans. Though the black leather stiletto-heeled boots she’s wearing probably cost a pretty penny. Even dressed down, she’s prettier than anyone in the room.
She gives my mother and Love hugs before pulling me into a long one. “I can’t believe it’s been four years today.”
“I know,” I say softly. “It’s hard to believe.”
“Are we all getting the Leo special?” Luca asks.
“Yes!” I say, “Well, except my mom. She’ll probably need a menu. She’s not a Leo special kind of girl.”
Lee-Anne chats with Luca, and I slide into the booth across from Cat with Love at my side.
“It’s strange being back here, no?” Cat asks.
“Yeah, it is, but nice, too.”
More and more, I’m finding that my memories surround me with a cloak of peace when they come. They no longer hurt as they once did. I’m able to look at the past with gratitude and love. Even with my ending with Leo being what it was, I’d never change our time together. I’m lucky to have had him for the time I did.
“He sure is a nice man, and cute, too. Don’t you think?” Lee-Anne asks as she slides in beside Cat.
“Yeah.” I grin. “He’s awesome. You know he lost his wife and son years back? It’s heartbreaking.”
“That is sad. I wonder if he has friends to talk to. It’s important to have a community. You know? When I lost Alman, I had you and Love, and I don’t know how I would’ve been able to make it without you.”
“Everyone in town knows and adores him. It’s been at least eleven years since he lost them. I think he’s doing well.”
“Oh, I’m sure he could use a friend.” Lee-Anne ogles Luca where he stands behind the counter.
I look at Cat and shake my head with a grin. Maybe my mother isn’t as resigned to being alone for the rest of her life as she’s declared.
Luca delivers our Cokes and my mother’s water. He makes sure to tell Lee-Anne how important it is to be hydrated, and she agrees adamantly with him.
He returns shortly after delivering the drinks with plates of chili cheese fries. He sets a plate of cheese fries down in front of my mother.
My eyes go wide. “You’re going to eat processed cheese and fries?”
“I couldn’t do the chili. I won’t eat meat, but I figure for one day, today, here…I can do cheese for Leo,” she says.
“Wow. You surprise me every day, Mom.”
Luca sets bottles of ketchup and his freshly made ranch dressing on the table.
‘This is perfect,” I tell him. “Thank you. I’m sure Leo is smiling down from heaven.”
“I know he is, my dear.” Luca gives me a warm smile and retreats from the table.
“Okay,” I say to Love. “Your daddy had a specific way to eat these. First, you scoop up a fry and make sure it has chili and cheese on it. Then you dip it into the ranch, and then the ketchup.” I demonstrate the technique before putting the fork full into my mouth. “Perfect!” I say through a mouthful of food, causing Love to laugh. “Your turn.”
Love follows my example and takes a bite.
“So?” I ask expectantly.
“Yummy!” She giggles.
“Yes.” I give her a high five. “Your daddy would be so happy. He could seriously eat this for every meal.”
“It looks absolutely disgusting.” Lee-Anne scrunches her nose.
“Just try it, Mom.” I grin.
Lee-Anne follows suit and takes a bite of the fry. Disgust is written all over her face, and I hold in my amusement.
“Do you yike it?” Love asks her.
Lee-Anne nods, her eyes wide. Cat and I laugh out loud, unable to hide our amusement at the clear torture this meal is for my mother.
“Everyone likes it!” I tell Love.
“Yay. Daddy’s happy.”
“He sure is, Love Dove. He’s so happy.”
The four of us eat and reminisce. I don’t fail to notice that Lee-Anne picks at the sides of her plate where the fries without anything on them reside. Truthfully, I didn’t expect her to try the dish, to begin with, and Leo wouldn’t have cared either way. It’s sweet that she’s trying, though.
“Does Daddy get fries in heaven?” Love asks.
“I think so. I think all of his favorite things are up in heaven with him. I think he gets to watch over all of his favorite people on earth and keep them safe, like a guardian angel. I think he’s completely happy and free.”
“Me too,” Love says.
“Me too,” Cat says, tears in her eyes.
“Me too,” Lee-Anne agrees, a loving smile on her face as she looks off to the side, lost in her own thoughts.
I believe my words to Love with everything I am. There’s no scientific proof that heaven exists, but I believe deep in my heart that it does. I have faith that it’s real, and that’s the thing about faith—I know it to be true, though I have no evidence of it. It just is.
Leo is free and
happy.
I’m certain of it.
28
Alma
“I love you so much.” I pull Love in for a hug. “You are going to have so much fun.” Leaning in, I pucker my lips, and Love comes in for a kiss.
“Let me make sure everything’s in order,” Amos says from beside me. Love turns her attention toward him. “Backpack?”
“Check!” Love cheers, taking part in a ritual that she and Amos already did back at the house. I find it cute and oddly comforting.
“Purple power bow?” He quirks a brow.
“Check!” Love taps the top of her head, where a bow is wrapped around her ponytail.
I’m not sure when it happened, but sometime within the past month, she’s moved on from her Belle obsession and is now riding the Rapunzel train. The movie Tangled has edged out Beauty and the Beast, and I have to say that it’s a much-needed change. I was starting to dream about dancing forks.
“Smile?”
“Check!” Love flashes her smile.
“Kind heart?”
She places a hand on her chest. “Check. I will help anybody who needs a friend.”
“Good, Lovebug.” Amos shoots Love his beautiful smile, and then he shrugs and looks at me. “I think she’s ready.”
I nod. “I can’t believe it, but I think so, too.”
“You’re just so big, Lovie.” Lee-Anne bends down to Love’s level and gives her a hug. “I can’t wait to hear all about your adventures.”
“Wait!” a voice sounds in the distance.
“We’re here!” another yells, and I twist to see Cat and Quinn running up the sidewalk that leads to the school.
They both appear to be dressed for work in fancy skirt suits. Cat’s jogging in heels across the pavement, clutching her giant purse to her chest.
“What are you two doing?” I laugh when they reach us.
“Sorry. There was an accident…” Quinn presses her hand to her chest.
Cat finishes the sentence. “On the highway, coming in from the east.”
Quinn chuckles, out of breath. “Yeah, I was just sitting there in traffic and look over to see this one”—she hooks her thumb in Cat’s direction—“putting on makeup.”