by Alicia Rades
“You know how I told you I was a witch?” I asked.
“Like I could forget that.” She rolled her eyes playfully.
I smirked. “Do you want to see me perform magic?”
Genuine interest crossed her features. “Yes!”
Jenna and I settled on the floor on either side of my pile of clothes. I held the bar of soap above the clothes and whispered the cleansing incantation Sondra had taught me.
“Did it work?” Jenna asked when I finished.
“Wasn’t very fantastical, was it? It’s one of the only spells I know.” I grabbed my shirt off the top and sniffed it. It had a hint of the soap scent hidden beneath a layer of sweat, as if the spell had only half worked. My shoulders fell. “This worked perfectly the last time I used it.”
Jenna sniffed my jeans. “Ew, Rachel.”
My eyebrows knitted together. “I know. This spell is simple. It’s like ever since I stepped foot on this island something’s been blocking my powers.”
Jenna pressed her lips together in thought. I could barely see her expression in the shadows.
“What?” I asked, seeing the gears turning in her head.
“I’m just thinking about what you told me about Synchrony. You talked about positive and negative energy.”
“I do have positive energy,” I countered. “I’ve been getting a lot better at casting spells. How can all of that just go away?”
“Because that’s how life works,” Jenna said. “Nobody’s positive all the time, Rachel. Sometimes, it takes just one thing to set us back ten spaces.”
I snorted. “One thing? Like Valkas.”
“Exactly,” Jenna agreed. “Magic isn’t a linear progression. It’s a rollercoaster ride of loops and turns and ups and downs.”
A light smile crossed my lips. “When did you become the expert in magic?”
Jenna shot back a smirk. “I’m not. I just know how life works. I’ve been through enough shit to know that one.”
I dropped my gaze, really contemplating what Jenna was saying. “Maybe you’re right. I have been holding on to a lot of anger lately.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to force out some of the tension in my shoulders.
“Believe me…” Jenna reached out and placed her hand on mine. I opened my eyes to look at her, and the rest of the tension melted out of me. Her words were like an energy of their own, reminding me that I wasn’t alone. “I know how hard it is to stay positive in the roughest moments.”
Silence settled over the washroom as Jenna and I stared at each other. The knot in my chest softened, and I felt my lips twitch into a smile. I turned my hand over to hold on to hers. Jenna didn’t have to say anything else. Just her presence here and the familiar look in her eyes restored a sense of peace within myself I realized I’d let slip away.
“Can you try the spell again?” she asked.
“Okay.” I grabbed the soap bar and repeated the incantation. This time, my clothes smelled fresher, though they still had a few dirt stains on them.
Jenna shrugged. “Good enough, I guess.”
I changed back into my clothes and ran my fingers through my hair. Before Jenna and I left the building, I stopped her. “Hey, Jenna?”
She paused with her hand on the doorknob. “Yeah?”
“Don’t let me forget what you said, okay? About the ups and the downs. I need a reminder about that every now and then.”
She draped an arm around my shoulder and opened the door. “Me, too, sis. Me, too.”
11
I laid my head back in the sand and closed my eyes, focusing on the sound of the waves lapping against the shore. The sun was hidden behind a thick layer of clouds, as it tended to do here on Gregor Island. I thought that maybe the sounds of nature would take my mind off everything, but it did nothing to shrink the gaping hole in my chest where all the hope and determination I’d had once resided. Now, there was nothing.
Several days had passed, but it felt like months. I still wasn’t any closer to figuring out how to find that dagger, kill Valkas, and get off the island. At this point, I didn’t think I ever would.
On the bright side, I hadn’t seen Valkas again, which was both a good and a bad thing. On one hand, I didn’t want to see him again. On the other, it made me a little suspicious. I’d stayed alive that first night because he was having fun with me. Now he was totally ignoring me? It didn’t sit right with me, but I decided to look at it as a blessing.
Blessings these days were few and far between. I spent my nights forced into slave labor in the chateau, cleaning chimneys and fireplaces or polishing baseboards. That part wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for the uniform, a tight-fitting outfit that my butt cheeks hung out of. At least once an hour some sicko would pass by and whistle at me. I’d even been slapped in the ass a few times—and I just took it, because what was the point in fighting back now?
During my downtime, I’d been trying to channel more positive energy, but it wasn’t helping with my magic. It was nigh on impossible to stay positive after everything I'd seen.
I watched a female vampire grope her male blood slave in front of his cabin, squeezing so tightly that tears rose to his eyes. Then she criticized him for showing any emotion, saying he should be pleased because they “always had a good time.” I listened to a woman cry in the next cabin over after she returned from a feeding, and I saw a man beg a vamp for a feeding, just to get that high from it he'd become addicted to. The vamp refused and looked positively pleased when the man fell to his knees and begged for a hit.
One guy even went into shock from blood loss on his way back from the chateau, and a group of blood slaves had to carry him back to the cabins and nurse him back to health. His master forced him back on his feet the next evening.
The second night I was here, I listened to the story of how Andi had been snatched the night before her wedding a few months ago, straight from the hotel suite her maid of honor had booked for the bridal party. I felt sick each morning Jenna returned from the chateau after being paraded around and fed on. The life in her eyes left for a good two hours afterward until she finally felt like talking again.
I tried not to let it all get to me, but I couldn’t force the nausea out of my gut. Instead, I figured I could use it to fuel my power, shaping the anger and resentment I felt toward the vampires into love and compassion for their slaves.
“Ardeat ignis.” A blast of flames shot up out of my palm, but as soon as it came, it was gone.
All my efforts were futile. I rolled over in the sand and pulled my knees up to my chest, curling into a ball. This wasn’t the first time I’d ever given up, but somehow, it felt like it would be my last. Valkas was planning something for me. I was sure of it. Soon enough, he was going to get bored of keeping me around. I’d already lost so much. I didn’t have long before I’d lost absolutely everything, including Jenna.
“That fire was sweet.”
I started at the sound of the voice behind me and sat up. “Jenna.”
She plopped down in the sand and bumped her shoulder against mine. “It was really cool. You should do it again.”
I shook my head. “It’s not working right. I don’t know if it’s me, or if it’s something about this island. Probably me.”
It was like Synchrony had forgotten about me, like I was no longer needed and Synchrony wasn’t willing to respond to me anymore.
“Nothing’s gone as planned,” I continued. “It feels like I’m just sitting around waiting for Valkas to sink my teeth into me.”
Jenna laughed. “Aren’t we all?”
I shrugged, totally not feeling the laughter right now. I dropped my gaze to the sand and curled my arms around my knees. It felt like I had to shrink into a ball just to hold myself together, like if I stretched out, my guts would fall right out of my abdomen.
“What are you doing out here?” I asked. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” The whole island went to sleep during the day.
J
enna rolled her eyes. “Screw that. It’s the only time any of us get to ourselves.”
I looked away without responding.
Her expression turned serious. “Are you okay?”
Tears pricked at my eyes, and my throat swelled. I bit my lower lip to hold it all back, but I couldn’t keep it from Jenna. “No,” I admitted, my voice cracking. “I’m not. I—”
I wanted to explain it all to her, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, tears began rolling down my cheeks. I buried my face into my knees, letting the tears soak into the jeans Jenna had leant me.
“Rachel,” she whispered.
She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I lost it. My shoulders heaved against my will, and I turned into a blubbering mess. Once it started, I couldn’t turn it off. Jenna scooted closer to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. She didn’t say anything. She just stroked her fingers through my hair, then ran a comforting hand across my back.
I leaned into her and cried until my tears dried up. Soon, my sobs turned into dry heaves.
It’d been up to me to rid the world of the vampire curse, and I’d let everyone down. All the terrible things the vampires did… the murders, the feedings, the abuse… it would all go on without any way to stop it. Is that what Synchrony wanted?
If so, Synchrony was stupid.
Then there was Venn, Fiona, and the rest of them. I’d never see them again. They’d never know what had happened to me. I wished I could tell them how sorry I was.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jenna finally whispered.
I buried my face deeper into her shoulder and shook my head. Even though I objected to her invitation, I found myself speaking anyway. “I feel like such a screw-up.”
“You’re not a screw-up,” she argued.
“I am,” I cried, lifting my head. I wiped at my face. “I was the key to making the world a better place, but I totally screwed it up. I don’t have a chance of getting that dagger back. I’ll never kill Valkas, and we’ll never make it off this island.”
Jenna’s eyes glistened with tears. Damn it. I was going to start bawling again if she cried.
“I can’t stand to see you like this,” she whispered.
“Then go away,” I offered.
“No! I’m not leaving you alone at a time like this.”
“It’s fine, Jenna. I’ll be all right.” It was a total lie. All I wanted was to be next to her.
“You’re my sister,” she said. “And what should sisters do?”
Her words caught me off guard. It was something Mom always said when Jenna and I were fighting. She’d force us to look each other in the eyes and would say those exact words.
“Sisters shouldn’t fight,” Mom would tell us.
“Yeah, yeah,” we’d reply in unison.
Mom would come back in a stern voice and say, “What should sisters do?”
“Love each other,” I answered.
Jenna nodded. “That’s right. You better believe it when I say it. I love you, Rachel. And I’m here for you.”
I forced a smile. “Thanks, Jenna.”
“For what?”
“For your positive energy. I don’t know how you’ve kept it all this time. I wouldn’t be nearly as strong as you if I went through what you have these last couple of years.”
“Kept it?” she repeated. “Rachel, I make my own positive energy. You don’t survive long on this island without it. No one’s going to hand that to you here. You have to go make it yourself. Ups and downs, remember?”
I considered her words for a moment, then said, “When did you get so wise?”
Jenna laughed. “I’ve always been this wise, dweeb. It took you long enough to notice.” She got to her feet and held out an inviting hand. “Follow me. I want to show you something.”
All I wanted to do was stay here and shrivel up, but Jenna had me intrigued. Curiously, I took her hand and followed her into the woods.
“Where are we going?” I asked as we stepped over fallen logs and underbrush.
“It’s not very far,” she replied, but she didn’t answer my question.
After a short hike, Jenna came to a stop beside a large rotting stump. A thick log lay on the ground beside it, which was covered in a large pile of sticks and other debris. She sat on the ground beside it and looked up at me.
“What is this?” I asked.
She patted the dirt next to her. “I’ve never shown anyone this before, so you’ll have to keep it a secret.”
“Who am I going to tell?” I lowered myself beside her.
She shrugged. “True.”
“So, what’s the secret?”
She took a deep breath. “You asked me how I stay positive. The truth is, it’s not easy. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’d even use that word—positive. The fact is, I gave up a long time ago. I resigned myself to the fact that the Soulless had taken everything from me and there was no way to get any of it back.”
Sounds familiar.
“About four months in, someone said something to me. He told me, ‘The Soulless can take everything from you—except for who you are.’”
She paused for a moment to let the words sink in. Honestly, I wasn’t quite sure what she meant. It sure seemed like the Soulless could strip you of everything if they wanted to.
“That stuck with me, but it wasn’t until I made this that I started to understand what it meant.” Jenna pushed the debris aside and pulled out a hand-made wreathe from beneath the pile. “I couldn’t change what the Soulless did to me. I could only change how I reacted to it.”
I took the wreathe in my hands to examine it. It was made of twisted evergreen boughs, with pinecones and acorns attached. “You made this?”
Jenna nodded. “For Mom. I know it’s silly, but I just had to make her one.”
“For Mother’s Day,” I said breathlessly. Jenna and I always made one together for her.
She pulled out a second one to show me. This one was bigger and more intricate and had dried flowers scattered throughout.
“I can’t believe you still make her a wreathe every year.”
Jenna smiled shyly. “I made you something, too.”
“You did?” I looked up at her in shock.
She pulled out a long, hollow stick that had a line of holes cut out along its length. “It’s supposed to be a flute.”
I took it and handed her back the wreathe. I could hardly find the words. “You really made this for me?”
“Yeah, for your eighteenth birthday. I never thought I’d get the chance to give it to you, though. I thought that maybe I could use it to play that lullaby Mom used to sing to us.”
“The full moon is shining. The stars glitter above,” I sang softly.
“The wind whispers softly, ‘Goodnight, my love,’” Jenna finished.
Now my eyes were tearing up for an entirely different reason. I brought the flute to my lips and blew through it. Nothing happened.
Jenna giggled. “It didn’t work out like I’d hoped.”
My lips lifted at the corners. “Thank you anyway. It’s a really sweet gift.”
Silence passed between us, but it was anything but awkward. It felt good to just sit here with my sister. It’d been so long. I forgot how nice it was.
Finally, Jenna took a deep breath and spoke. “Anyway, I came down to the beach because I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Oh?”
She took the flute back and placed everything beneath the debris pile again, where it was hidden from view, then turned to me. “I’ve been doing some thinking. For so long, I honestly thought I’d never see you again, and now here you are. You know what that tells me?”
I shook my head.
“Even when we’ve given up hope, there’s still a chance. I’m starting to think that maybe this isn’t the end.”
“Really?” I asked, my heart lifting slightly.
“Really.”
My stomach dropped. She was talking
crazy.
“How am I going to get the dagger back?” I asked. “I don’t even know where it is.”
Jenna pressed her lips together in thought. “I think I know someone who can help us. Are you up for a party?”
“A party?” That sounded like something we’d get in trouble for.
Jenna waved her hand nonchalantly. “The vamps don’t care what we do as long as we’re at their side when they say so. Personally, I think they let us have our little bits of freedom because they know we’ll comply easier with it. The feedings aren’t as bad if you have something to look forward to afterward. Not to mention healthier blood slaves taste better.”
Ew! The thought made me cringe.
“I swear it’s the only thing that keeps me from going crazy,” she said. “And I’m sure that’s why they let you room with me. So… are you up for it?”
I hesitated. “What kind of party?”
“Just some people getting together down at Eagle Rock.”
“Will there be booze?”
Jenna laughed. “Do you think the Soulless wouldn’t supply alcohol? Alcohol-infused blood is the best kind.”
“It’s stupid and reckless,” I told her.
“Yep.” She patted my knee for show. “And that’s one good thing about me that hasn’t changed. What about you, Rugrat?”
I guess it wouldn’t hurt to let loose a little—since I was stuck here anyway. “I do reckless shit all the time. What do you think brought me here?”
“Awesome. Is that what you’re wearing?”
I tugged at the hem of my shirt. “Is there a dress code?”
Jenna stood and held her hand out to me. “Come on. Let’s go find you something.”
12
“Damn, you look hot!” Jenna whistled from across the cabin.
I twirled around to show off the black bikini from all angles.