by Amy Clipston
“What are you looking at?” Ariana came beside her and looked out toward the fence. “Oh, that’s wunderbaar! Mei dat and bruder are finally talking.” She turned toward Mariella. “Why are you blushing?”
“I’m not blushing. It must be the lantern light.” Mariella turned her eyes to where Marvin was now embracing Tobias. “Look, your bruder and dat are hugging!”
Ariana followed Mariella’s line of sight and sucked in a deep breath. “Oh, Tobias will be so froh.”
Suddenly, she turned her attention back to Mariella.
“Wait a minute.” Ariana touched her arm. “Do you like mei bruder?”
Mariella froze. She was caught! Was she going to lose her best friend now that the truth was about to be in the open? She couldn’t lie. She turned to face her accuser.
“You do like Tobias!” Ariana grinned. “That’s wunderbaar!”
“You think so?”
“Of course I do!”
“Now you wait a minute.” Mariella held up her hand. “You’re not angry with me?”
“Why would I be angry? You and Tobias are two of the most important people in my life. I would be thrilled to see you together. Besides, I think you’re just what he needs. You’re a gut, honest, hardworking, Christian maedel. I’m froh he has you in his life. I know he’s had a difficult time, but he’s a decent man. He has a kind heart, and I believe he wants to settle down and have a family.”
“I think you’re jumping ahead a bit too quickly.” Mariella hugged her arms to her chest as if to protect her heart. “I don’t think he’s ready for that yet. I don’t even know if he likes me. I don’t know if he will ever see me as more than his little schweschder’s freind.”
“I think he definitely likes you. He asks about you all the time. I don’t know why I didn’t realize that before.”
“He does?” Mariella’s stomach fluttered.
“Ya, he often asks if you’re coming over, and he looks froh when I say you are. And now that I think about it, when did he start calling you ‘Mari’?” Ariana nodded toward the fence. “You should go talk to him.”
Mariella hesitated as she focused on where Tobias still stood. Marvin had started walking toward the barn. “Are you certain you’d feel comfortable if we dated?”
“Ya, I’m positive.” Ariana touched her arm. “You have my blessing.”
“Danki.” Mariella took a deep breath and started down the steps.
Tobias couldn’t stop smiling as Dat walked away. He’d just had the most emotional and honest conversation with his father he’d had in years. Not only did he feel closer to him, but it was also as if they had reached a new, more mature relationship. Everything was falling into place. Happiness flooded him. He finally, truly had his family back!
“It looked like you and your dat had a gut conversation,” Mariella said as she approached him.
“Ya, we did! He finally opened up. Danki so much for encouraging me to initiate a talk about his bruder. It worked, and I owe it all to you!” He picked her up, and she gasped and then squealed as he spun her around.
When he set her feet back on the ground, they stared at each other for a moment, and doubt crept into his mind. Had he crossed a line with her and blown his chance to ask her to be his girlfriend?
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “That was much too forward of me.”
“It’s okay.” Then she shook her head, as if to clear it. “You have to stop giving me all the credit. You’re the one who had the courage to talk to your father. You did it all on your own.”
“No, I couldn’t have done it without you. I had the courage to talk to mei dat because you believed in me.”
As he looked into Mariella’s eyes, his heart swelled with admiration—and something else. What was the strange new feeling coursing through his veins? Was it love?
The question caught him off-guard.
“Tobias?” she asked. “Did you hear what I asked you?”
“What?” He shook away the startling thoughts. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked what your dat said.”
“Oh.” He rubbed his chin as he considered their conversation. “He told me why he kept mei onkel Tobias’s existence from us. That led to my apology for all the stress I caused him before I left. I was really surprised when he hugged me. I feel like we’ve come a long way toward repairing our relationship.”
“I admire you for having the strength to take the first step.”
“Danki. I feel so much better now that this burden is off my shoulders. I have mei dat back, and we promised to keep working on our relationship.”
“What a blessing.” She reached out and took his hand in hers. “I’m so froh for you. God brought you back to us, and he is healing your heart.”
“Ya, God does give second chances, even when we don’t deserve it.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m so thankful he put you in my life.”
Intensity sparked between them as he searched her eyes. “I admire you too, Mari. Your friendship means so much to me. I think about you all the time, and I care deeply about you.”
Mariella held her breath as Tobias continued to hold her hand. Was she dreaming? Or had he just admitted he thinks about her all the time?
His expression darkened. “Ach, no. Did I say something wrong?”
“No, not at all.” She wiped away her threatening tears with her free hand. “It’s just that I’ve always dreamed of you telling me you cared about me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve liked you since I was ten years old.”
“You have?”
“Ya. We were on the playground at school when one of the buwe pushed me off a swing. You defended me. You not only got my swing back, but you made the bu apologize. Don’t you remember that?”
He laughed. “Ya, I do remember that. Wasn’t it Josiah King?”
“Ya, that’s exactly right, and he never bothered me again after that.” She squeezed his hand. “I never forgot that, but I also didn’t think you’d ever see me as more than Ariana’s best freind.”
“You’re so much more than that. You’re my inspiration, my strength, and my rock. You’ve been the one person who has known what to say to keep me moving forward toward getting my family and my community back, and I’m so grateful for you.”
Tears again pricked her eyes. “I’m grateful for you too.”
“I’ve missed so much right in front me, and I’m sorry it took leaving and then coming back to realize how amazing you are.” He released her hand and gripped her arms. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’m making amends. I still have a lot of issues to work out, but I’d be honored if you would give me the chance to show you how much I care about you. Would you consider being my girlfriend?”
She wasn’t dreaming. “Ya! I would be so honored.”
He ran his fingers down her cheeks, and she shivered. “Mari, I really want to kiss you. Would that be all right?”
She glanced around, and when she found everyone else distracted by conversations, she nodded. “I think a quick kiss would be okay.”
Tobias grinned. Then he leaned down, and her breath hitched as she closed her eyes. He brushed her lips with his, and she savored the feeling of his mouth against hers. Her first kiss! And the man she’d loved from afar for years was kissing her!
When their lips parted, he leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m not perfect, but I’ll be the best boyfriend I can. You mean the world to me.”
She smiled as a tear trickled down her cheek.
Mariella breathed in the warm June air as cicadas sang and the sinking sun began to color the sky. Tobias sat beside her with his arm resting on the back of her back-porch glider.
The past six months had moved at lightning speed as she and Tobias had fallen into an easy relationship filled with long talks, laughter—and for her, a blossoming love. She had never been happier, and every night she prayed her relationship with Tobias would continue to grow.
She smiled. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
“When I came home, I hoped everyone would accept me. Yet I never imagined I’d not only get my community back, but I’d fall in love with someone as special as you.”
Tears instantly sprang to her eyes. He loves me!
“You’ve blessed me beyond measure, Mari, and I thank God for you every day.” He took her hand in his and she turned toward him. “The night of Ariana’s wedding, mei dat said I can build a haus on his farm. I saved most of the money I earned while I was living with mei onkel, so I have enough to start the construction. And mei dat said he would help me with whatever I need.”
“That’s wunderbaar.”
“I’d like mei haus to be where I live with mei fraa—and our family if God chooses to bless us with kinner.”
Her stomach tightened as he continued.
“They say home is where the heart is, and I guess that’s why I can only imagine my home with you in it. My heart belongs to you, and I think your heart belongs to me.”
He took a deep breath. “This may seem too soon, but I don’t want to wait any longer. Mari, would you do me the honor of being mei fraa?” His dark eyes shimmered with what looked like hope, and his next words came in a rush even as aired stalled in her lungs.
“I want to start work on the haus within the next month so it can be ready by the fall. We can get married in December if you’d like. I’ll do my best to take care of you and our kinner. I’ll work hard and try to make you froh. I promise.”
Her heart felt as though it could burst as happy tears poured down her cheeks. All her dreams were coming true! “I would be honored to be your fraa.”
He leaned down, and when his lips brushed hers, the now-familiar electric pulses sizzled from her head to her toes. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his mouth against hers. When he drew back, she fought to calm her galloping heart.
“Ich liebe dich, Mari,” he whispered in her ear, sending a shiver dancing up her spine.
“I love you too.”
As he pulled her close, Mariella silently thanked God for sending Tobias back not just to his community and his family, but to a new life with her.
Discussion Questions
1. Tobias is nervous when he returns to his community after five months. He’s worried his family and community won’t accept him back into their lives. Think of a time when you felt lost and alone. Where did you find strength? What Bible verses would help with this? Share this with the group.
2. Because alcoholism is considered a sin in the Amish faith, Tobias had to confess in front of his congregation to be welcomed back into the church. What surprises you about this tradition and the way it’s conducted? What is your opinion of the Amish’s practice of shunning/ excommunication for sin?
3. What significance did the carving in the barn have in the story? What role did it play in healing Tobias’s relationship with his father? Share this with the group.
4. Mariella is thankful God gave Tobias a second chance with his family, his community, and her when he came back to Pennsylvania. Have you ever experienced a second chance? What was it?
5. When Tobias left the community, he received treatment for alcoholism. Have you ever known anyone who has struggled with that disease? What challenges did they face? Share this with the group.
6. While Tobias struggled to mend his relationship with his father, he turned to Mariella for advice. Does someone in your life help you through difficult times? How?
Acknowledgments
As always, I’m grateful for my loving family, including my mother, Lola Goebelbecker; my husband, Joe; and my sons, Zac and Matt. I’m blessed to have such an awesome and amazing family that tolerates my moods when I’m stressed out on a book deadline.
Special thanks to my mother and my dear friend Becky Biddy, who graciously proofread the draft and corrected my hilarious typos. Becky—thank you also for your daily notes of encouragement. Your friendship is a blessing!
I’m also grateful for my special Amish friend who patiently answers my endless stream of questions. You’re a blessing in my life.
Thank you to my wonderful church family at Morning Star Lutheran in Matthews, North Carolina, for your encouragement, prayers, love, and friendship. You all mean so much to my family and me.
Thank you to Zac Weikal and the fabulous members of my Bakery Bunch! I’m so grateful for your friendship and your excitement about my books. You all are amazing!
To my agent, Natasha Kern—I can’t thank you enough for your guidance, advice, and friendship. You are a tremendous blessing in my life.
Thank you to my amazing editor, Becky Monds, for your friendship and guidance. I’m grateful to each and every person at HarperCollins Christian Publishing who helped make this book a reality.
I’m grateful to editor Jean Bloom, who helped me polish and refine the story. Jean, you are a master at connecting the dots and filling in the gaps. I’m so happy we can continue to work together!
Thank you most of all to God—for giving me the inspiration and the words to glorify You. I’m grateful and humbled You’ve chosen this path for me.
Love Birds
For my awesome sons, Zac and Matt, with love
Glossary
ach—oh
appeditlich—delicious
bedauerlich—sad
bruder—brother
daadi—granddad
danki—thank you
dat—dad
Dummle!—Hurry!
freind/freinden—friend/friends
froh—happy
gern gschehne—you’re welcome
gut—good
gut nacht—good night
haus—house
Hoi!—Get back here!
kaffi—coffee
kind/kinner—child/children
liewe—love, a term of endearment
maed/maedel—young women, girls/young woman
mamm—mom
mammi—grandma
mei—my
mutter—mother
onkel—uncle
schee—pretty
schmaert—smart
schweschder/schweschdere—sister/sisters
Was iss letz?—What’s wrong?
Wie geht’s—How do you do? or Good day!
wunderbaar—wonderful
ya—yes
Amish Heirloom Family Trees
Martha “Mattie” m. Leroy Fisher
Veronica
Rachel
Emily
Annie m. Elam Huyard
Jason
Stephen
Tillie m. Henry (Hank) Ebersol
Margaret m. Abner (deceased) Lapp
Seth (deceased)
Ellie
Fannie Mae m. Titus Dienner (Bishop)
Lindann
Susannah m. Timothy Beiler
David
Irma Rose Beiler Smucker
Chapter One
Ellie Lapp hummed to herself as she hung her freshly washed laundry on the line that stretched from the back porch to the barn. The warm May afternoon air filled her lungs and the sun kissed her cheeks as she clipped her and her mother’s dresses onto the line to dry.
It was still so strange not to see Seth’s trousers and shirts among the clothes she had laundered in the wringer washer earlier. She had to remind herself that she no longer had to care for his laundry, not since he’d died a month ago in an accident at the shed company where he worked.
One month ago. She shivered despite the warm spring breeze. How could it have been that long already?
It seemed like only yesterday that her big brother was talking and chuckling at the dinner table, sharing a joke or funny stories from his day spent building sheds. As though it was only yesterday that he called her “Squirt” instead of Ellie. Only yest
erday that she was working in her garden when he threatened to drench her with water from her watering can if she didn’t laugh at one of his silly jokes.
But now Seth was gone, and since her father had died fourteen years ago when she was only five, Ellie and her mother were left alone in the too-big and too-quiet house on their small farm.
“Ellie!” Her mother, Margaret, sounded urgent as she appeared in the doorway behind her. “Daisy escaped the pasture fence again. Dummle!”
Ellie turned her head toward the gate leading to the small pasture and saw it was wide open. And Daisy the cow was trotting toward the road.
“Ach, no!” she muttered under her breath. Then she took off running after the cow, shouting, “Hoi! Hoi!” On several occasions she and Seth had retrieved wandering cows with the help of the neighbor’s dog, Spike, and she longed for both Seth and Spike’s help now. Corralling a cow was not easy when it was a one-person job.
Ellie dodged puddles from last night’s rain as she closed in on Daisy.
“Daisy!” she shouted. “Daisy! Hoi! Hoi!”
She tried to mimic Seth’s method of catching disobedient cows. She rushed closer, determined to get ahead of the animal and direct her back to the pasture.
As Ellie closed in on Daisy, her feet began to slide. She realized too late that she’d run right into a puddle. And, much to her dismay, her feet flew out from under her. She landed on her bottom in a puddle with a loud splat. When she looked down, she saw her purple dress, apron, stockings, and shoes were covered in dark brown mud.
“Ellie!” a male voice called behind her.
Ellie looked over her shoulder and saw Lloyd Blank, one of Seth’s best friends from school, loping toward her.
Members of the community, along with Seth’s friends, had been taking turns coming over to help Ellie and her mother with the animals since Seth’s death. Seth’s friends were pleasant to Ellie, but Lloyd was the only one who had always taken the time to acknowledge her. And Ellie had had a secret crush on him since she was a preteen. She’d never told anyone, not even her closest friends, especially not Lloyd’s sister Rebecca, that she liked him. It was a far-fetched dream to believe Lloyd would ever consider her more than an acquaintance since she was the same age as Rebecca.