by Sudha Murty
‘What is that?’
‘The fact that the husband recognized his wife’s sacrifice and named the book after her. That is what appeals to me more.’
‘Oh Shrimati, in today’s society it is very difficult to find women like Bhamati. They have changed so much.’
It was three years since they were married and now, Shrimati was keen to enroll for her Ph.D. But around that time, Shrikant was posted to Delhi.
Shrimati was sad. She did not want to part with Shrikant or the Ph.D. Shrikant reasoned, ‘Either I reject my offer to go to Delhi or you stay alone in Bombay to do your Ph.D. If I go to Delhi, I can come here only once a month.’
‘No Shri, neither option is acceptable. I don’t want you to forgo your promotion by rejecting this offer, nor do I want to stay alone. We will stay in Delhi for one year and I will take up my studies next year. Anyway north India has a lot of historical places that I can visit.’
Shrimati had started compromising.
‘Shrimati, there is one more way. We can ask my mother to come and stay with you.’
Though she did not say it, Shrimati knew very well that Gangakka wouldn’t agree.
In the meantime, Gangakka’s life had also changed. There was a phone at home now. When Shrikant called her up to ask her about coming to Bombay to stay with Shrimati, Gangakka said, ‘I wish I could come and help your wife. She is just like a daughter to me. But I am planning to go on a pilgrimage for two months. Sheenappa’s wife is unwell. He has helped me when I was alone and you were still a child. So I have to help them now. Rama’s children may also come here to study. You tell me what I should do. I will listen to you.’
So, Gangakka’s coming to Bombay was ruled out.
Shrimati left for Delhi with Shrikant. For a person like her, neither very ambitious nor very courageous, such situations meant that her own priorities were always pushed to the lowest rung.
Spending a year in the historic city of Delhi did not prove to be very difficult for Shrimati. It was a new place and she made new friends, so she did not get bored.
‘Shrikant, after we go back from Delhi, the lease period of our present house will be over. Where can we take up a new house? Can we afford to buy one?’
‘Shrimati, don’t worry. Now I can ask for a housing loan from my company.’
‘In that case, let’s buy a house in Versova, one that faces the sea.’
‘Why there, Shrimati? It is so far.’
‘Somehow, I am fascinated by the sea. I can sit in front of the water for any number of hours. I can view my dreams in the rise and fall of the waves.’
‘Oh Shrimati, please don’t get so poetic and dreamy. I cannot understand you. But one thing is certain, I cannot stay in Versova.’
‘Shri, without dreams life is nothing. Don’t you dream of becoming the director of a company?’
‘Come on. That is a practical dream.’
‘Okay. Where shall we buy the house?’
‘Let us see, somewhere in Santa Cruz or Bandra, maybe.’
Many unexpected things happen in life, and Shrikant’s life was not an exception. His career had gone very well, his boss was extremely happy with his performance in Delhi and now he was being promoted as a project manager and sent to Los Angeles, USA.
Shrikant had been to the US a few times before but this time, he was going to stay there for three years.
Mr Kelkar had assured him that the company would take care of his wife’s travel as well as their living expenses for three years.
Shrimati was thrilled. She took loads of presents from Delhi for her parents, Rama and her children and Gangakka, before leaving for the US.
With the sudden affluence, Gangakka could afford to make some changes around her. She got the house repaired and did it up with modern interiors. She acquired several new household appliances. She had more time to gossip now. But her feelings towards Shrimati had not changed, even after five years of her marriage to Shrikant. She had never shown any affection towards Shrimati. Though there was a phone at home, she never called her. Shrimati tried her level best but failed miserably to win her mother-in-law’s confidence. Gangakka no longer taunted her about dowry. Now it was about not having children.
‘Shrimati, wasn’t Sharada your classmate? It seems she delivered her third child last week. I had gone to Vandana’s son’s birthday and she told me. Her son is very good-looking.’
Rama poured fuel on the conversation, ‘Remember Indira, Desai’s daughter whom Anna Chari had proposed for Shrikant? She gave birth to twin boys. Her in-laws are indeed very lucky.’
Shrimati felt suffocated in this atmosphere but did not have any answer to their comments. Many a times she would feel like telling them to advise their son instead. But her shyness wouldn’t allow her.
Shrimati had once said to Shrikant, ‘Shri, we have been married for five years now. All our friends are already parents. I feel like having a child now.’
But Shrikant was very adamant regarding them having children.
‘So what, Shrimati? We got married at an early age because our circumstances were different. I am hardly twenty-eight years old. Let us first settle down. Many of our classmates are still not married. Look at Ravi, Anthony . . . Let’s not be in a hurry to have a baby.’
How could she tell Gangakka all this?
Kamala was very happy and thanked god that her son-in-law was doing very well and her daughter was happy, unlike herself. Shrimati’s father Shrikantrao, on the other hand, boasted saying that though Shrikant wasn’t the proper match, still they got their daughter married to him. He claimed that Shrikant’s prosperity was because of his daughter’s horoscope.
At times Kamala did feel bad that Shrimati did not have any children yet, but she was not like Gangakka, to talk directly about it. She was aware that Shrimati was very sensitive. So she indirectly told her daughter that it was the right time to have children. Shrimati replied, ‘Avva, I am aware of it but for this, Shrikant should agree.’
Gangakka was very happy that her son was doing well but at the same time, she was extremely unhappy that Shrimati too was going abroad. So when Shrimati would visit Hubli, Gangakka would find some reason to go out of station and wouldn’t return until Shrimati had left. She just couldn’t stand Shrimati’s presence. If at all Gangakka was present, Shrimati was not allowed to work in the kitchen because Gangakka never liked Vaishnava food. The situation in Shrimati’s mother’s place was no different. Her grandmother found fault with her and said Shrimati had taken her mother-in-law’s side and become a Smartha.
But the real reason for Shrimati’s unhappiness was the lack of love and affection from Gangakka and Rama. No matter what she did, it was wrong in their eyes. Shrimati was upset because somewhere within herself she felt she had failed. She acutely felt that she was an unwanted member in Shrikant’s family. And yet, she hoped that they would love her and accept her some day.
She knew love and affection cannot be taught or purchased with money. The sincere feeling of fondness should come from within the heart. It doesn’t matter if the person has wealth, intelligence or beauty. In her case, though it was a futile exercise, still she was hopeful that some day things would change. Sometimes, when she was alone in her mother’s place, many things would come to her mind.
Professor Rao and his wife knew Shrimati very well and they had been very keen that Shrimati should marry their elder son who was a doctor in the US. But Shrimati had declined that proposal politely because of her commitment to Shrikant. Perhaps if she had married someone whose parents liked her, things would have been different. Of course, she never regretted marrying Shrikant. His love and affection was complete and he was loyal to her. But to live in society, one required a lot of support from the family too! Even after so many years she never felt at home in Gangakka’s house. She was still an outsider. But how could she explain all this to her mother or to Shri?
Vandana’s mother was nice to her but because Shrikant was doing so well and
Shrimati was very well-off now, she would taunt her in a different way.
‘Oh Shrimati, we spent so much for Vandana’s wedding, but you are very lucky. Even without spending a paisa from your father’s pocket, you have caught hold of a nice guy. I hope Kavitha will learn a little bit from you.’
It was true that Vandana’s husband was not as smart as Shrikant and had not gone ahead in his career. But Shrikant was not only intelligent, he was also hard-working. That’s why he was so successful.
Shrimati went to meet Sharada at her in-laws’ place. Theirs was a joint family. There was hardly any privacy. Sharada was busy with all the household chores, but she was very happy to receive her old friend. Unfortunately they hardly got any time to talk.
‘Shrimati, do you remember how you used to insist that I should complete my BA. At times I feel what is its use now? I have not touched a book ever since I finished the BA exams. But tell me, Shrimati, you must be having lots of friends in Bombay?’
‘No, Shari, I don’t. Actually, I have very few friends now. We all grew up together without expecting anything from each other. Today things are different.’ Then changing the topic, Shrimati asked her friend, ‘Shari, why did you have a third child in this day and age?’
This reminded Shrimati of the conversation she had had with Shrikant, how he had proposed to her and said that they could not afford a third child whom she had declared she would call Siddhartha Gautama.
‘It was my mother-in-law, she wanted a male child. It is very necessary for our business-oriented family. And as you know, my first two were daughters.’
‘Then you must have prayed a lot to Bhandiwad Maruti and offered pedas!’ Shrimati said with a laugh.
SIXTEEN
Shrimati was thrilled that she was going to the US. She had been in touch with Professor Collins through letters but had not met him. This was a good opportunity for her to go to Chicago and meet him and his daughter Dorothy.
Shrikant, now one of the seniormost in his company, was happy that he could understand the global market and explore global business.
He knew that if he worked harder and proved himself, he would be made a vice-president in a couple of years. Right now, he was posted as head of the American operations.
Shrikant had plenty of responsibilities. His boss Mr Kelkar was pinning all his hopes on Shrikant, so Shrikant made it very clear to Shrimati that life in America would be hectic and she was not to expect anything from him. He would like her to be on her own, he said.
When the Deshpandes arrived in Los Angeles, they were given a well-furnished two-bedroom apartment by the company. After a year, they could consider moving to another place. For Shrimati, everything was new and fascinating . . . the market, the roads, the people, everything. And she was keen to learn about all those new things. Since the public transport system in Los Angeles, or LA as it is popularly called, was not good, Shrimati and Shrikant had to learn driving. They purchased two second-hand cars, an absolute necessity, rather than a luxury.
After they had settled down and Shrimati felt more confident about travelling; on her own, she went to Chicago to meet Professor Collins. There she also met Dorothy. Dorothy had finished her Ph.D and was working in the University. Professor Collins’s home was full of books, journals, research papers and documents on history. The atmosphere in their home, the conversation, the fascinating work they did, was truly a treat for Shrimati.
As Dorothy was travelling to Europe, she suggested that Shrimati should join her. The entire tour would take three months.
Shrikant was most encouraging. He wanted his wife to be bold and independent. So Shrimati went on the tour and thoroughly enjoyed herself.
One year went by very quickly. Shrimati was beginning to feel quite at home in LA. But a sudden phone call upset everything.
They got the sad news that Vishwas Kelkar had died of a heart attack and Shrikant was required to report to the India office immediately.
Shrikant left Shrimati to wind up everything and returned to India alone. It would take her a couple of months to complete all the formalities. He knew she was capable of handling them on her own.
On his way back to India, Shrikant kept thinking about Mr Kelkar and his sudden demise. He had been a man of clean habits, always on his toes, working relentlessly all the time. He had suffered from a gastric ulcer, caused, as he used to say, by tension. He would dismiss it humorously as an ‘executive disease’.
What was the cause of the stress? There had been rumours that Vishwas was not happy at home and had some marital problems. Did that affect his health and cause the heart attack?
Shrikant could not help wondering why he had been called back when there were so many people more senior to him in the Bombay office. Was there something special awaiting him?
Yes. There was. The board of directors felt that he would be the right person to succeed Mr Kelkar.
Though he had spent only six years with the company, they gave him the general manager’s post, on probation for six months. Depending on his performance, he would be confirmed. Shrikant was extremely happy.
The next day he went to the general manager’s office and saw the empty chair. For a minute he was scared, thinking of the tension the person who occupied that chair had to undergo. The price, for an ambitious person, is heavy. He remembered Vishwas’s words and repeated them to himself again. ‘The goddess of success does not knock on your door twice. Every opportunity should be completely utilized. A smart person is one who converts every failure into success. Success does not always mean knowledge. There are many factors that make a person successful. Hard work, courage to take risks, and also the ability to make people realize that you work hard. The person who works from nine to five will never become successful. Only he who thinks about the company all the time and focuses on his work, can be successful.’
Now, all that Shrikant had to do was concentrate and focus on his work. He had got his opportunity and he had to succeed. He would show his seniors that he was indispensable. That was not difficult for him.
SEVENTEEN
Shrimati arrived in India three months after Shrikant’s return. Shrikant went to the airport to receive her.
He was overjoyed to see her after such a long time. When they came out, Shrimati saw a new car and a driver waiting for them.
Shrimati was surprised, ‘Hey, Shri, what’s this?’
‘Shrimati, the company has given me Vishwas’s position,’ Shrikant told her beaming with happiness. ‘They have confirmed me as general manager after just three months instead of six.’
‘Congratulations! But why didn’t you inform me before?’
‘I wanted to give you a surprise. Are you happy?’
‘Shri, I have always been a part of your life. Your achievements have always been mine.’
Shrimati noticed the car was taking a different route.
‘Shri, where are we going?’
‘I have purchased a new three-bedroom flat near Bandstand in Bandra, facing the sea. You will love it.’
Shrimati looked worried.
‘Shri, how much money have you borrowed for that? We will have to work throughout our life to repay that loan, is it?’
‘Shrimati, are you mad. I am general manager now. I have a different status. The company has given me an interest-free loan.’
‘What is the name of our apartment?’
‘Sea Waves.’
‘Shri, how did you manage these things all by yourself?’
‘When I managed to get the first-ranker Shrimati, this is nothing.’
‘Oh, come on, Shri, tell me seriously.’
‘Success is never accidental. One has to plan for it.’
When they reached the apartment, Shrimati was amazed. The place was way beyond her imagination. It was a very posh and well-furnished house, befitting Shrikant’s new position. There were three balconies and from every balcony she had a view of the sea.
With the new designation, life had changed
enormously for Shrikant, but not for Shrimati. He had become extremely busy and was touring a lot. He travelled twenty to twenty-five days a month. His life only revolved around his company, nothing else.
One monsoon evening Shrimati was sitting in the balcony, staring at the road. The rain was splashing on to the balcony and she was getting wet. But she continued sitting there, with no inclination to get up. That morning she had noticed a few grey hairs on her head. Suddenly she began to feel age was catching up with her.
Everything had worked out well for them, financially at least. But they still didn’t have any children.
The previous evening, Vandana had come to visit Shrimati with her two children. Vandana still stayed in Malad but in a two-bedroom apartment. Once in a while they would meet. The years of friendship between the two women allowed them to discuss even intimate, personal matters with each other.
‘Shrimati, I hope you don’t mind me asking this question, but don’t you get bored without children?’
‘Of course I get bored. I have gone to a gynaecologist and she says everything is normal.’
‘No, you should go to a specialist. You don’t have any shortage of money. You better go to Hinduja Hospital at Mahim. There is a very well-known doctor there called Dr Phadke. Don’t go alone. Take Shrikant with you. But don’t delay it any further.’
Vandana’s advice was what Shrimati had been thinking about as she sat on the balcony that night.
As usual, Shrikant came home at nine o’clock in the night. After his dinner, he quickly settled down to read the Financial Express. Shrimati came and sat next to him on the sofa and broached the topic.
‘Shri, I am getting bored at home.’
Without even looking at her, Shrikant said, ‘I have told you several times to register for a Ph.D but you don’t seem to be bothered at all.’
‘No, Shri, I want something more important than that.’
‘Then take computer classes. That will help you a lot and once you start surfing, you wouldn’t even know how time flies.’
Shrimati got really upset. How is it that he didn’t even think of children?