When she put her head down on the pillow, she couldn’t stop the silly tears that surfaced. She would have given anything to see his text say goodnight, beautiful again.
Chapter 14
“What was that about,” Kayla asked.
Ashlyn didn’t even look in the direction of the entrance to the cafeteria. She could only imagine the glaring look of hatred from Eric.
They hadn’t spoke all weekend, not even so much as a text. She didn’t know where they stood. Strangely, as much as it bothered her, it also didn’t.
“Ash,” Emory called out. “Seriously, what’s his problem?”
Ashlyn simply shrugged and shook her head. The guys were eating lunch with them today, and she didn’t want to discuss her relationship in front of them, especially Tripp.
“Will you cut it out,” Emory yelled at Ellis as she swatted his hand from her fries. “Why are you even here today?”
“Abby’s mom let her miss school so they could go shopping for spring break,” Ellis told her, stealing another fry.
“Then go eat with the guys.”
“They’re not big on sharing,” Ellis said, again taking yet another fry from Emory’s plate.
“Who’s all going to the game with us tomorrow,” Emory asked. Kayla and June snorted a little. They occasionally went, but it wasn’t a priority. “Wow, okay. Just you then,” her question directed at Ashlyn.
“I guess so.” Ashlyn tried not to sound too excited, but maybe the baseball game was just what she needed.
“And this time you’ll come out to eat after?”
Ashlyn could feel Tripp carefully watching her, waiting for a response. She knew that he’d more than likely go out with Ellis and some of the players from the team. It’s not like it would be a date.
“Definitely.”
✽ ✽ ✽
To save Ashlyn a drive, Ellis and Emory picked her up Tuesday evening before the game. Ashlyn figured it was Emory’s way of ensuring that she went out to eat with them afterwards. It turned out to be a bad decision on her part, because as soon as everyone got to Flip’s Grill and pushed together tables, she realized more than just a couple of the baseball guys had come.
She should have known that Ellis’ girlfriend, Abby, would come, but she didn’t expect that she’d bring a friend. Rachel.
Tripp tried arranging it so that he could sit on the side of Ashlyn not claimed by Emory. At the very least maybe across from her so they could talk, but that hadn’t been in the cards. Instead, he had Byron on one side and Rachel on the other. Ashlyn couldn’t have been farther away.
Ashlyn did a great job of pretending not to care, completely ignoring Tripp and a giggly Rachel. That’s all she could hear were the giggles. The place was so loud there was no way she could pick up on the conversation they were having.
Her pretending must have worked out in her favor. For once, not even Emory got the hint that anything was wrong, and nothing was wrong, not really. Ashlyn knew she had no claim to Tripp. She was so messed up she didn’t even know if she still had a boyfriend or not. Tripp deserved to move on and be happy, and they were kind of friends, so she needed to be happy for him.
There was a lot of talk about the upcoming spring break. Abby was going to Mexico, Deacon was going to spend time with Ellis, working out and playing video games. Ashlyn wasn’t sure what Byron, Rachel, or Tripp had for plans.
“I’m so glad,” Emory told Ashlyn once Ashlyn admitted that she was going to work on some painting. “How many pieces can you put in the art show?”
“Up to three paintings and five photographs, but I don’t have even one painting,” Ashlyn admitted.
Tripp watched as Ashlyn’s face lit up with whatever she and Emory were talking about. He would have given anything to hear what she was saying. Instead he was caught in two conversations, one with Byron talking about his cousins in Canada, and one with Rachel talking about swimsuits. Normally, any hot girl talking about skimpy pieces of fabric would have his attention, but that hadn’t been the case in a while. Not since he had moved to Raymere Grove.
Eventually Ashlyn excused herself to use the restroom, thankful to get away from everyone, and wishing she would have driven herself.
Tuesday nights weren’t that crowded, so she wasn’t surprised when she was the only one in the women’s restroom. At least she felt like she could finally breathe.
After turning off the faucet, Ashlyn looked into the mirror, really looked. She wasn’t ugly. She had nice hair that she fixed in various styles. She wore just enough, but not too much, makeup. While she didn’t spend thousands on designer clothes, she dressed nicely. Her body was normal. She was just as thin as Emory, and Emory was a cheerleader. So, what was wrong with her?
She hated how much Eric’s words continued to bother her. Not wanting to ruin her mascara, she quickly dabbed at her eyes before any tears could fall.
The bathroom door swung open just as Ashlyn tried to compose herself.
“Oh, wow,” Rachel gasped.
Great. Of all the people that could have walked in, it had to be Rachel.
Ashlyn sniffled back any more tears from coming. “Hey.”
“Oh my gosh, are you okay?”
Ashlyn had heard a great deal about Rachel from Emory. While Rachel could be a total witch when it came to the cheer squad, overall, as a person, she wasn’t as bad as her predecessor.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ashlyn assured her, hoping that she’d go into one of the stalls and cut the conversation short.
“It’s Eric isn’t it,” Rachel proceeded to ask, shaking her head and unnecessarily flipping her hair.
If Ashlyn was to be a hundred percent honest with herself, it wasn’t all just about Eric. Eric was a good portion of her aggravation and hurt, but there was something else eating away at her that had nothing to do with Eric, and everything to do with Tripp.
“I should have known something was wrong,” Rachel went on. “I was out walking Diamond the other evening. She’s my little maltipoo.”
Ashlyn tried so hard to hide the look of discomfort that must be coming to her face at having to listen to whatever Rachel was spewing.
“Anyway, Crystal lives on my street a few houses down, and I saw Eric dropping her off. I guess that isn’t so odd, like, I know they run with the same friends now, but I don’t know, you know?”
Ashlyn swallowed the lump in her throat. No. She didn’t know.
“Well, anyway,” Ashlyn began, trying to find a way out before Rachel felt the need to tell her any more information.
“Hey, wait. Stupid question.” Rachel hesitantly leaned against one of the sinks and twirled her hair. “I know sometimes a few of the guys sit at your table, and I know you and Tripp are partners in science…”
“Yeah…”
“Well, I would ask Emory, but I know she’s not too fond of me.”
Ashlyn wanted to tell Rachel that her statement was putting it mildly but decided against being a jerk to her.
“I guess I was just wondering if he talks about me. This is like our second date, and…”
Rachel’s words suddenly blurred after that word. Date.
Ashlyn wanted to scream. She didn’t know how she felt except that she was full of hurt, anger, jealousy. She knew it! She had known it from the beginning and she still went and allowed herself to begin to have feelings for Tripp.
The flowers, the kiss, having dinner with her parents when he didn’t have to…What was all of that? Did he really have that much free time to invest in playing girls?
“So, what do you think?”
Ashlyn snapped out of it. “Uh, about what?”
Rachel sighed in annoyance. “About Tripp. He agreed to eat lunch with me tomorrow, but he seems so distant. Do you think I should be the one making the first move?”
Ashlyn couldn’t give her that advice. All she knew was that she needed to get out, out of the restroom, and out of the stupid restaurant. “I honestly don’t know much about him. Sorry.”
&
nbsp; Before Rachel could say another word, Ashlyn tore out of the bathroom.
“Whoa, watch it,” a voice screeched, as Ashlyn inadvertently collided into someone coming out of the men’s room.
Ellis.
“I’m sorry,” Ashlyn quickly apologized.
Ellis looked her over carefully. She had seemed fine all during the game, even the little he saw of her throughout dinner; however, now was a completely different story.
“You don’t look so good,” Ellis pointed out.
Not wanting to have a serious conversation with Ellis of all people, “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll try harder next time.”
“Not what I meant,” Ellis huffed. “I mean, you look like you’re about to throw up.”
She felt like she was about to throw up.
“I tell you what, go outside to the benches in the front.”
Before Ashlyn could say a word back to him, he quickly went down the hallway and back to their table.
✽ ✽ ✽
“What are you doing here,” Ashlyn asked as soon as Ellis sat beside her on the bench.
“Seeing if you’re ready to go home.”
Ashlyn looked up at him curiously. Although he never missed a moment to annoy and tease her, for the most part Ellis always was nice to her. “You don’t have to take me home. We both know that Emory isn’t done eating. I can just call my mom.”
“That is true,” Ellis laughed. “I told her you weren’t feeling good and I was going to take you home. Besides, Deacon can take her.”
“What about Abby?”
“She’s got her own ride with Rachel, well, unless they find a way to convince Tripp to take Rachel home.” Ellis rubbed his temples. “They can both be a little relentless.” He looked up at her. He had hoped to make her smile or laugh, but she looked sadder and more miserable than ever. “Come on, let me get you out of here.”
For some reason, Ashlyn felt like that car ride home with Ellis was one of the lowest points in her life. She felt weak, and it was then that she realized just how weak she was, but it wasn’t something where she could magically snap her fingers and wake up the next day a new person. Something had to change though, starting with Eric. She allowed him to get in her head from the start, and he managed to change a lot about her, especially her confidence and self-worth.
“Is the entire ride going to be in silence, or do you want to vent?”
“Nothing to vent about,” Ashlyn lied.
“I know whatever is bothering you has to do with Eric, even if it’s only a little,” Ellis admitted. He glanced over at Ashlyn after he made another turn and in the faint bit of light saw that she was chewing on her lip, thinking of what to say.
Ashlyn took a deep breath, knowing that it was going to be an uncomfortable conversation. “Why didn’t you ever ask me out?”
Ellis tapped his brakes a little too suddenly as he came to the stop sign. “What,” he gasped in shock. “I didn’t know…I thought…You liked–”
“Wait. Stop. That came out wrong,” Ashlyn quickly interrupted. She could tell that she had taken Ellis by surprise. “Eric and I got into a fight and he said some things.”
“Like?”
“Along the lines of, if you spent all that time with me over the years and weren’t interested, why would any other guy be,” Ashlyn managed, hating how awkward it was to say that to Ellis.
His outburst of laughter surprised her.
“Wow! That guy is nuts. A total tool. Come on, Ash. You and I both know that you never wanted me to date you.”
“I know, but–”
“It’s just his way of getting into your head, beating you down, and all so you stay with him. He’s constantly chipping away at all the good parts of you and making you feel worthless.” They were at Ashlyn’s house now, but Ellis’ rant was far from over. “I never would have asked you out because I love you like a sister, and I also love to tease and aggravate you just like a sister. You’re my sister’s best friend. That’s a line I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. I also know you’re beautiful, and you’re crazy if you think that Eric is the only guy in that stupid school that would want you. You know why guys aren’t beating your door down asking for a date?” He paused and waited for Ashlyn to shake her head. “Because you’ve been stuck with that jerk for two years! I mean, before then girls had cooties, and by the time we figured out that they weren’t so bad and making out was fun, you were already trapped in some sick relationship with him.”
Ashlyn was stunned that all of that came from Ellis Parker. It wasn’t a massive revelation, but it was enough to make her really think about where she was and who she was.
“Come on, Ash,” he sighed. “You’re stronger than this. You have to be if you put up with my sister.” That got a smile out of the nearly broken girl sitting next to him. “Just grow a pair already. Rub some dirt on it.”
And anything remotely insightful from Ellis was ruined.
Seeing the wrinkled nose and confusion, “Sorry. That’s what my uncle tells me.”
Ellis’ uncle also just so happened to be Raymere Grove’s football coach.
“Thanks, Ellis.”
“So, we’re cool? You don’t have some age-old crush on me,” he jokingly asked as he batted his eyelashes.
“Absolutely not!”
It felt really good to laugh. It’s what she needed.
✽ ✽ ✽
Tripp: Hey, how are you?
Ashlyn climbed into bed and stared at the message, debating if she should reply. A tiny voice inside her head told her she had enough boy problems. The best would be to slowly stop communicating with Tripp and let him go, because at this point, she was at an impasse. She couldn’t be with him, and apparently, he no longer wanted her in his life like that, but she also didn’t want to see him with someone else.
The thought made her feel gross, and like a horrible person.
Ashlyn: I’m fine.
Tripp: Ellis told us you didn’t feel well. I was worried. I could have taken you home.
Ashlyn felt the butterflies fluttering in her stomach upon reading the text. She remembered what Ellis told her on the bench, about Rachel trying to get Tripp to drive her home. She couldn’t ask him directly if he had. That would be too weird.
Ashlyn: Thanks, but you deserved to get to enjoy your win. Besides, I’m sure you had your car full.
It would have been more enjoyable with you.
Tripp quickly deleted the text. He couldn’t talk to her like that, at least not right now. They were making progress, or so he thought. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her away.
Tripp: Nah, I left shortly after you.
Ashlyn didn’t ask if he took Rachel home. From the sound of the text, she liked to imagine that he didn’t, but the fact that she cared so much only meant one thing.
Ashlyn brought up her chat with Eric and, with shaky fingers, tapped out the message.
Ashlyn: I need to talk to you. Tomorrow.
Chapter 15
Ashlyn wasn’t surprised when she saw Ellis, Deacon, and Tripp having lunch with Abby and a few of her friends, namely Rachel.
She realized that she had to begin taking baby steps. The last thing she wanted to do was go from one relationship to the next. Though she didn’t want to speculate, Tripp didn’t seem over the moon to be sitting next to Rachel. He looked deep in thought and even a little disinterested. She couldn’t imagine a long-term relationship coming from whatever they had going.
“Hey,” a voice called out, causing Ashlyn’s friends to go deadly silent. “You wanted to say something.”
Ashlyn capped off her water bottle and got up from her seat. After looking around, seeing the watchful eyes of Emory, Kayla, and June, “Can we step outside real quick.”
Eric’s hands were shoved in his jean pockets and he shrugged like he didn’t care if they did or didn’t. Ashlyn used that opportunity to take the lead and head out to the courtyard. She saw the table where Eric sat with
some of his unsavory friends, and she veered in a direction farther away.
“So, what’s up,” Eric asked casually.
Ashlyn tried her best not to show irritation in her voice, but she was livid. After the things he said to her on Friday, after not speaking to her or reaching out for days, now he was going to pretend like it never happened.
“I need a break,” Ashlyn blurted out, getting to the point.
Eric cocked his head like he didn’t understand what she was saying. “You’re still mad?”
Ashlyn felt like the air was knocked from her lungs. “Still mad? Are you serious?”
“Oh, come on. We had a fight. Couples fight. Get over it. You’re being dramatic,” he groaned.
“You are unbelievable. You’re the one who yelled at me and then told me that you needed time to think.”
“Yeah? And? I needed to cool off,” he told her calmly, which only aggravated her more.
Ashlyn didn’t like yelling or arguing, but Eric was making it difficult not to scream at the top of her lungs. “Well, now I’m telling you. I need a break from you.”
He narrowed his eyes and Ashlyn saw a spark of anger. “All of a sudden, you need a break. Is this about your little ball player?”
“This is about me,” Ashlyn growled.
“Because you do realize he’s cuddled up with some cheerleader right now. Man, you must feel like garbage for throwing yourself at him,” Eric laughed.
Ashlyn had to ignore those words. All he wanted was to get her worked up and say that everything was her fault. She wouldn’t play this time. “Eric,” she sighed. “We need to take a break. I can’t do this.”
“So, we’re not even going to hang out over spring break?”
Ashlyn wanted to jump up and down and ask him if he was really that dense. “No. I’m going to work on my painting for the art–”
“You can’t be serious,” he scoffed. “You still waste time with that?”
Eric said a lot of mean things to her, especially when he was mad. Out of all the things he said, that comment bothered her a lot. It was nowhere near as rude as he could be, but it really showed her his lack of care in anything that made her happy.
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