Philip Zinsli from Gresham Downs made contact with John Hopgood of the Court Matrimonial Services. After some discussion about old times, and a catch up on what had happened to Georgina, and how happy he was with Sally, Philip decided it was time to involve John in his plans.
"John, I've got a favour to ask," he said. "Please say no if it is the too hard basket."
"What is the favour?" asked John.
"It's about this autistic boy, Lance. Sally's son. He can't communicate; he just sits looking into space. He throws constant violent tantrums. He caused Sally to leave Greg but she is yearning for him, which is only natural. Men are more sensible about these things. He needs to be in an institution. Could you take the boy into care, in case Sally returns to Greg in order to be with the boy?"
Part of John wanted to help Philip, part of him wanted to help Sally to settle down, and part of him could see that a seriously disturbed idiot should be in care. Without fighting a long and difficult case where both Sally and Greg would be opposed to placing Lance in care, could he find a reason why the boy should be placed in care? He had them both coming in for an appointment soon. Perhaps he could find a reason for removing Lance then.
In all of his previous interviews, John Hopgood had found no point of conflict. Greg was an understanding husband. Sally was a wife who had just had enough. The catalyst for their issues was the stress of bringing up Lance.
The more John Hopgood thought about it, the more convinced he became that Social Welfare should step in. He had an idea that might work: remove the child from the danger of a violent outburst by man who was repressing his feelings of rage and anger. If Greg was the reason for them losing their son, Sally would be unlikely to go back to Greg.
"So, Greg," asked John. "Do you still love Sally?"
"Yes."
"What would you think are the issues that made Sally move out?" John asked.
"Sally became very depressed," said Greg. "I didn't spend enough time with her, I didn't show her how much I love her."
"Did you get angry?"
"No," Greg answered. "What purpose would that serve?"
"What did she do each day?"
"She would do her chores, dress and feed our son Lance, then sit and stare out the window," Greg replied.
John thought that he had finally found the answer to removing Lance: Greg's assumption that Sally did nothing all day while he was working so hard to run the farm made him very angry but instead of talking about it he kept his feeling pent up. Nothing could be further from the truth but the idea had a sharp credibility.
"Greg, I'm going to ask you to come back in an hour. I have Sally coming to see me, and then I'll get you back so I can talk to you both together."
"Fine," said Greg.
John interviewed Sally.
"So, Sally," John Hopgood asked. "Do you still love Greg?"
"Yes."
"What were the issues that made you move out?" asked John.
"I became very depressed," answered Sally.
"What were the reasons for that?" asked John.
"Me."
"Could you please explain your answer?" asked John.
"I got lazy because I was depressed. I was depressed because I got lazy."
"How did Greg feel about that?" asked John.
Sally shrugged.
"Did he get angry?" asked John.
"No."
"Did he row with you?" asked John.
"Sometimes."
"About being lazy?" asked John.
"No."
"What sort of things did you argue about?" asked John.
"The normal things," said Sally.
"Did he ever hit you?"
"No," said Sally. "I would leave any man who had to resort to violence. Greg is much stronger than that."
"You mean he represses his anger?"
"No. He controls his anger. Or he goes out and chops wood, or something else to get rid of his pent up feelings."
John Hopgood made carefully edited notes. He now had what he needed.
"I think it's time we got the two of you together," said John. "Greg will be here in about twenty minutes. Is that okay? Do you mind meeting him?"
"No."
Greg arrived back before the appointed time. He sat with Sally in the small waiting area.
"I've left Lance with Ashleigh," he said. "She's finished her shopping. They are playing in the park."
"Playing?" asked Sally.
"Yes. You know Lance. He climbs up the slide. He slides down the slide. He climbs up the slide," said Greg.
"He slides down the slide," finished Sally.
"I really miss you Sally," said Greg. "I hope all this mumbo jumbo stuff helps you to come back."
"I miss you too," said Sally. "Lance seems to be more manageable now."
"He has his moments," said Greg. "Ashleigh is wonderful with him, but she's not as good as you. No disrespect to Ashleigh. He is a handful."
Before Sally could respond, John Hopgood came out of his office.
"Come through, please," said John Hopgood.
The couple followed him into his office.
"Thank you both for coming along. I think I know what the problem is," he said. "Greg, you are hiding your true feelings. I know that you had your firearms taken from you. That is a very serious matter. I think Sally had every right to feel frightened of you."
"No." said Sally. "I'm not frightened of Greg. I'm frightened of Philip."
"Why? What has he done to you?" asked Greg.
"Now, now, Greg. Calm down," said John Hopgood. "Nothing good ever comes from anger."
"But you've got it wrong," said Greg. "The firearms were taken from me so our son Lance would be safe."
"So you admit that you wanted to harm your little autistic boy?" said John Hopgood. "That is what I am telling you. You must overcome your anger. I am recommending that you attend an anger management course. If I get a satisfactory report, we will continue these discussions, otherwise I shall get a Police Protection order and you will have your son taken away from you."
"How dare you!" said Sally. "Greg is the calmest and kindest man I have ever met. You've got it all wrong. Come on Greg, we're finished here."
She stood and began to leave. Greg followed her.
John Hopgood contacted the police. He arranged to see Gregory Somerville's police record.
He had an appointment in twenty minutes but was free after that. As soon as his appointment was over, he walked to the nearby police station.
"We need more time, Mr Hopgood," said the officer at the desk. "You can't just walk in and see records, just like that. I think you need to talk to my Senior."
Hopgood knew Senior Sergeant Mayhew. He was a stickler for detail, unlike the other sergeant, who could often be talked into giving up information.
'Why do you want information about this man?" asked Mayhew.
"I have to report to the Family Court on his suitability to have custody of an autistic son," Hopgood replied.
"In what way?" asked Senior Sergeant Mayhew.
"I understand he had his firearms confiscated."
"That is correct. Let me check. We can't allow Somerville to have custody of the son if there is a danger his father will misuse firearms."
Mayhew looked at his computer screen for some time.
"Mr Hopgood, there is something here I need to look into. Yes, Somerville's firearms are in our custody following an incident. But there appears to be a lot more to it. Please come back in a day or two after I've had a chance to sort out what has been going on. Does that give you enough time?"
Hopgood had what he wanted: there had been a firearms incident that resulted in Somerville's firearms being confiscated. That was all that he needed to remove Lance and place him into care, removing the last link that kept Sally bound to Greg.
JOHN HOPGOOD WROTE a report to the Family Court Registrar saying that during a procedure to get couples back together, it had become apparent that Gregory Al
an Somerville had serious mental health issues with regard to repressed aggression. The police had confiscated Somerville's firearms due to an incident in the household.
Two weeks later a letter arrived at the Te Kouka Flats mailbox, requesting Greg to attend an anger management course in Grantville. He rang John Hopgood and asked for an explanation, pointing out that he had not raised his voice and had said nothing unpleasant during the reconciliation meetings.
"You showed classic signs of passive aggression," said Hopgood. "We must protect women and children from family violence. The fact that the police have removed your firearms is sufficient evidence. It is not how you appear in public but what might happen on an isolated farm when your wife's illness annoys you to distraction?"
"Is that what she said?" asked Greg.
"I can't tell you that," said Hopgood. "My interviews are privileged."
Greg rang the family lawyer. He explained the situation in which he found himself.
"Good heavens," said Mr Smythe. "I find you to be a level headed man, well in control of your emotions. Sally speaks of your kindness. She should know."
Greg responded, "Mr Hopgood will not tell me what she said. Privileged information."
"Then I shall ask her myself," said Mr Smythe. "Sally is a truthful young lady. She will tell me. I'll be in touch."
Mr Smythe was as good as his word. He contacted Hopgood and the police. He got two differing stories. He rang Hopgood and asked him to explain why his position was so extreme. Mr Smythe asked Hopgood to please reconsider the importance or otherwise of a small child gaining access to a fire arm and what this had to do with domestic violence. He rang Greg a few days later.
"Good news, Greg," he said. "Mr Hopgood said that he was prepared to give you another chance to explain your conduct."
"What conduct?" asked Greg. "There hasn't been any conduct. My wife was depressed. I tried to live with it, did not hassle her, did not call her lazy. It took so much energy to deal with Lance that she had nothing left in the tank. I understood that."
"Mr Hopgood maintains that you are hiding a deep anger towards your wife. The only way to show you are not hiding aggression is to show anger. If you show anger, you are confirming his belief." Mr Smythe sounded as terse as Greg had ever heard him. "It is like the Salem witches, a heads I win tails you lose situation. I think we can sort this out. I know the guy running the anger management course. He's straight up. I would like you to go on the course and show them you are a perfectly normal, well-balanced guy."
"The problem," said Greg, "is that somewhere there is a handbook that these guys have to follow. He didn't come up with the idea of 'passive aggression' by himself. What if Sally came on the course as well?"
"Do you think she would?"
"Yes, I think it is her who has the passive aggression. I think she wanted my attention but I was too busy to give her any. I think she daydreamed and had conversations with herself, aimed at Lance, then hurt me for not helping her by taking up with Philip. I don't think she is happy there. My partner, Ashleigh, sees her regularly. I think the anger is still there, and it is all about Lance."
Mr Smythe thought for a moment. "Be careful Lance doesn't become the stalking horse. Were he to be taken away from your custody, Sally would never forgive you. I will talk to Sally then tell Hopgood you have both decided to go on the course. It is promoted as 'a self-discovery course aimed at finding the motivating factors for hidden aggression'. I am afraid that sort of formula is an invitation to find faults in a partner."
"If the course shares the same handbook, then I can see me ending up in prison for all sorts of imagined injuries," said Greg. "But I believe in Sally's basic goodness."
Greg was accepted for the course but Sally was not. Greg found the course interesting but felt uncomfortable at the aggression shown towards males. It seemed that men were automatically to blame for any conflict. Again, the assumption was that women were left to carry the burden while men went off to work or joined their mates in the pub. Greg had always felt a sense of guilt at the load Sally was carrying. He had felt totally out of his depth trying to care for Lance. Greg kept quiet, offering opinions when asked but otherwise being non-contentious. He wished that Sally had been on the course with him, especially when they dealt with the dynamics involved with problem children. She was so sensible and calm.
Ashleigh was unable to mind Lance one afternoon so Greg took him along to the counselling group. Others had their children with them from time to time; the leaders of the course had been very tolerant about that. Lance was on his worst behaviour, reverting back to screaming tantrums and hurling things around. Greg asked permission to take Lance home.
Things were totally different at the following session. The leaders directed questions at him in a friendly way. The other group members held Greg in high regard for the calm manner in which he had dealt with Lance. Towards the end of the session, talk turned to what the leaders called 'asocial behaviour'.
"What exactly is Lance's problem?" asked Andy.
"He was born autistic. That means he is wired differently and so he relates differently to people," explained Greg. "Last week, for example, he wanted me to do something. But he couldn't say what. He isn't stupid. In fact he's very clever. But he can't express things directly. I have to guess what he wants, and here with all you guys watching I couldn't concentrate absolutely on him."
"Does he communicate at all?" asked Hemi.
"Oh yes. Now he is ten he goes to primary school. He is absolutely isolated in his own little world and he talks through a dog."
"Through a dog?" asked Hemi.
"Yes. Through a dog he calls Mr Tricksy even though Tricksy is a bitch. He will say things at school like, 'Teacher, Mr Tricksy says Lance wants to read now.' If he isn't allowed to read, he will throw a tantrum like we had last week."
"No disrespect," said Michael, a Leader, "but that was awful. How do you cope at home and run a farm?"
"My wife Sally had to do the bulk of the work in the house, just as the lectures and discussions said." Greg hesitated. "I did my level best but sadly, Sally got tired and run down and depressed. There wasn't much I could do about it, with a farm to run. But I never criticised her or called her lazy. I just grieved as she sat for hour after hour gazing out of the window. She wouldn't tell her doctor; she just said she was tired all the time. She didn't drink or do drugs. Just sat and looked across the paddocks."
"What about Lance?" asked Bruce, who had violence issues himself.
"He was very happy pushing his toys monotonously across the carpet. He could do that all day and half the night, going 'Vroom, vroom.' "
"What happened? Why are you here?" asked Andy.
"After Sally left me - I can't blame her for that, she had taken eight years of looking after Lance when he was really bad - Mr John Hopwood from the Mediation Service decided that I was passively angry, and would do Lance harm," said Greg. "I wouldn't of course, but the police had earlier removed my firearms in case Lance got hold of them, or Sally might ... you know. In a small community it wasn't long before the story grew into hidden aggression on my part."
"So what's happening now?" asked Michael. "I know that if you don't pass this course, your son will be taken away by Welfare."
"Sally and I are in Mediation. We both love each other, but now we have this huge burden of guilt, her for leaving and me for causing her to leave. I have this wonderful housekeeper who can handle Lance because she is not family. Lance thinks she is some kind of human Mr Tricksy. With Lance maturing and going to school, and with Ashleigh helping on the farm and running the house, the farm is finally making money. Things have never been better. Except Sally and I are still separated. And I might lose Lance if she claims custody. Both things break me up, but with sadness, not anger."
MICHAEL BAINBRIDGE's report said that he had found Greg to be a well-balanced and loving husband dealing with difficult domestic issues raised by his autistic son. Michael knew John Hopgood and was
surprised by Hopgood's attitude when he rang.
"I'm surprised Somerville sucked you in," said Hopgood. "He's a cunning weasel. If you produce that report at the Family Meeting, I shall say you are quite mistaken, and question your competence to continue with your contract with the Mediation Service."
Michael was at a loss. As a self-employed counsellor, he needed the Mediation Service contract. On the other hand, Hopgood had got it totally wrong. What could he do?
On Thursday night Michael had an indoor bowls match. The Te Kouka Indoor Bowls Club was the venue for a match against Michael's team, the Windmills Club. Greg Somerville was playing at three in the Te Kouka Fours team, and was also matched with an older man called Fred Jones in the pairs. Fred sat with Michael and watched the other games on the four mats.
"I don't want to speak out of turn," said Michael, "but I have been told that young man is extremely violent."
"Come with me," said Fred as he stood up and led the way to the kitchen.
"Private here. What's the problem?"
Michael said, "Without breaking patient confidentiality, Greg was ordered to attend an anger management course before reconciliation talks could proceed. He could have been teaching the course rather than me. He knew all the strategies, obviously as a result of having to deal with his son Lance."
Fred said, "I know young Lance. A right handful. Bright kid underneath it all, though. So what are you concerned about?"
"My report has been rejected by Mediation. They say - "
"Who are they? I deal in facts, lad. You want to tell me, tell it all not part of it," said Fred.
"Sorry. John Hopgood," said Michael. "Hopgood maintains Greg is hiding his anger, passive aggression was the term he used. He thinks repressing his feelings will cause Greg to be extremely violent, and quotes the withdrawal of firearms by the police as evidence of that."
Fred remained silent.
Michael continued, "He says he will break my contract if I don't withdraw the report. I need that contract, but I also value my integrity."
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