Half-heartedly he returned my embrace, his partially grown beard prickling my chin. He didn’t seem to be interested in trying out new things anymore and no longer even bothered to shave.
‘I will care for myself as you ask. And I will return here by Saturday night.’
I smiled, feeling a tiny bit more relieved at the reminder that Dallmin picked things up so quickly—he even had a handle on time-keeping and calendars, despite living for so long with no need for them. He would adjust well, at least in some ways.
His heavy pack didn’t seem to impede him at all as he marched down the track towards the state park, which made me regret not packing him more medical supplies. There was so much for him to deal with and I knew he needed this time alone, but I felt very apprehensive at the thought of sending him out in the world by himself. Mentally I slapped myself on the back of the head. He was old. Really old. He would be fine.
After a hundred metres or so he turned and signed a casual goodbye, which I returned wistfully. If only I could offer him even just a shred of hope that perhaps one day he could go home. Had this ever happened before? Had anyone ever come out of Eden and then returned? Remembering Tessa’s discovery when I’d first come back, I turned to Bane.
‘I need to do some research. Feel like giving me a hand?’
‘What sort of research?’
‘Computer. Nice and safe. I want to find out more about the Children of Eden at Telassar.’
‘Sure. I’ll help. What exactly are you hoping to find?’ he asked, entwining his fingers with mine.
‘A way for Dallmin to go home.’
Six and a half hours later I had rubbed my eyes so much that any light behind them was probably glowing crimson. It had been a long time since I had read so much, and it was giving me a whopping headache. Bane had already healed me once, which had allowed me to keep concentrating, but now he was frowning at me, torn between wanting to heal and wanting me to just be sensible and stop for a while.
‘Have you noticed that we’re going in circles now?’ he pointed out as I tried to cross-reference yet another ancient myth. ‘We’re back to the defeat of the Assyrian King Sennacherib at the siege of Jerusalem, which seems to be linked to the account of that Egyptian Pharaoh dude … Sethos?’
Screwing up my face, I tried to remember which one he meant. He took pity and explained.
‘Sethos was the one who heard that Sennacherib was on his way to attack Egypt, and then dreamt that his Egyptian god told him he’d send someone to sort it out. So he marched his small army out, ready to fight, but that night a plague of field mice ate all the quivers, bow strings and shield straps of the invading army, and so Sennacherib was defeated and can you please stop looking so intrigued, Lainie. It’s a bad idea. I hate mice.’
‘Well it does sound like something I’d do, you have to admit,’ I sulked, slumping my head down on the table and letting my hands drop to the floor. ‘Surely it’s better than the Jerusalem siege where 185,000 Assyrians were killed by an angel. 185,000 people, Bane. I’m glad I’m not an angel. At least I can’t kill. Could you imagine? I’m terrified enough of my authority as it is.’ A vision of thousands of dead soldiers piled up around my feet took over my aching brain. My stomach flipped unpleasantly as I imagined how easy it would be if I had the right Words.
Joints popped as Bane stretched his back. ‘I think it’s time for a break, don’t you? Maybe I could find us something to eat other than fruit. The Sunraysia orchards will be out of stock soon at the rate people are buying these fruit baskets. Is it so difficult to think of gifts to buy here? I’ve never once bought a fruit hamper for someone.’
‘It’s a farm thing,’ I mumbled, saving the link to the Sethos story. ‘We like to support local produce wherever possible. They’ve been given a lot of woollen baby products too. Did you see those tiny lamb’s wool booties? They’re seriously adorable.’
He had diverted me yet again. Within seconds I had gone from teetering on the brink of panic about the overwhelming powers I was struggling to come to terms with, to thinking about booties. My attention was all over the place these days, and it was so hard to focus, but at least I was beginning to recognise it now. Goodness knows what I would have been like without my Guardian to keep me sane. I owed him everything.
With a decisive snap, I closed the laptop. It was going to take some expert help to find the information I needed, if it even existed. I had no way of knowing what internet sites were even trustworthy, let alone be able to sort through the complex web of stories, myths and historical facts. The thread of evidence I had was tentative at best. I knew nothing of Middle-Eastern history, and I was not likely to become an expert by surfing the sites I’d seen so far.
Turning finally to face him, I took his miraculous hands and placed them on my temples. With obvious relief, he practically purred as healing heat seared away my headache. In a few short breaths the pain was gone. His fingers lingered on my face. Delicious, precious moment. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feeling of having someone really care about me. I deserved none of it, but I revelled in it all the same, cradling his hand against my cheek and kissing the scars on his wrist. Scars he had gained trying to defend me, which I couldn’t heal for him.
‘Bane, it’s getting late. We should go to bed.’
‘Huh?’
‘I mean because you’re tired, naughty boy.’
‘Oh. Right. I am. Just let me check in with the others first,’ he said with a yawn, glancing at his watch. ‘Tim’s due to take over from Liam at one am, so I’d better make sure he’s getting some rest now like he’s supposed to. He already covered Nicole’s shift this morning.’
‘Why? Where was Nicole?’
‘Busy.’
If his tone had been any flatter, I could have spread it with lemon and sugar and eaten it for breakfast. A brief touch of his wrist confirmed my suspicion. He was furious with her, which made it easy to draw out the right memory of the phone call from Liam. Nicole had been skipping out on her last few patrol shifts and not informing anyone. Apparently she believed Tessa was safe enough in hospital, and if Jake came for me, she didn’t particularly care.
‘Bane, this is nuts. You have no right to be mad at Nicole. She’s not one of your squad mates. This can’t continue for much longer, it’s not fair. On anyone. I think we should consider taking another approach.’
‘Such as?’ Shoulder muscles bulged with new tension, and his eyes became wary.
‘Such as drawing Jake out. You know, taking charge of the situation so we can control the variables,’ I suggested, trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about. I expected him to laugh in my face. He didn’t.
‘Lainie, that sounds worryingly close to what you did last time. And I haven’t entirely forgiven you for that stunt yet.’
Yeah, he had a point.
‘I had a plan,’ I defended. ‘And it was a good one. Sorry it was a bit unfair on you. I just didn’t want you to get hurt again.’
He looked beyond exasperated. ‘Your plan was to get yourself kidnapped by an armed lunatic drug addict? What if the others hadn’t been able to wake me?’
‘I didn’t need you. I only needed Noah to get close enough to be at risk. With all three Cherubim threatened I was sure I could arrange a safe way to end things.’
‘I thought we established that you can do nothing to protect yourself.’
‘Not directly, but with us all at risk at once, I still reckon I could have managed to disarm him at least,’ I argued, more confidently than I felt.
He turned my shoulders towards him and looked me in the eyes. His voice shook a little. ‘Lainie, listen to me. You can’t take risks like that anymore. There’s a reason these forces are at play, and we can’t afford to mess around with them. I’m supposed to protect you. Don’t ever do that to me again. Please.’
I glared right back, fee
ling irritated. ‘Actually, I’m not sure I could if I wanted to. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, convincing myself that it was necessary to protect Eden. But I did. Which means it was. You told me once that I needed to learn to trust my instincts, but it won’t help if you don’t trust them as well. I need to be free to do my job, Bane. You can’t keep me locked away from everything!’ Drawing myself up, I blurted out my opinion before I could chicken out again. ‘I think we should use Jake’s compulsion against him. Tempt him to breach his bail conditions by making contact with me, and when he does, we’ll have him arrested. I don’t need to be in any danger. I can do it all from the safety of this house. So long as you promise me you’ll stay away from him and let Sergeant Loxwood deal with it.’
‘I’m not promising any such thing. I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him, Lainie. This isn’t some ordinary psychopath we’re dealing with here, as if those aren’t bad enough. He’s compelled to kill you! Do you really understand what that means? He won’t stop. Not ever. Not even if we send him to jail. He’ll eventually find a way to charm himself out, or discover some other power he can use to get to you. I can’t let that happen.’
Great. My own personal Terminator. Just what I needed. I crossed my arms. ‘And exactly how are you planning to protect me once you end up in jail as well? Ask the wardens to please send me a text in between your trips to the bathroom to chuck? Be sensible about this. I know you have skills now, from all your training, but so do I. I’m not useless here. Let me help, before someone else gets caught in the crossfire again.’
‘I’m not going to let you offer yourself up as bait! It goes against everything I’ve been taught, as well as against all my instincts.’ He was standing now, with his arms crossed and looking very grumpy. I almost expected him to stamp his foot.
‘Let me?’ I retorted, matching his obstinate stance. ‘Careful, you’re getting awfully close to convincing me that Eden really would be safer if you just slept through the whole thing!’
‘Are you threatening me? Seriously?’ He raised his voice to match mine.
I had gone too far and I was too angry to care. I was disorientated by my return and all the dramas since, but not stupid, and not useless either. He wasn’t even going to listen to my suggestion.
We scowled at each other for a few more seconds before I slumped down onto the chair again. I had no real interest in arguing and I was no good at it anymore anyway. ‘No, of course not,’ I said. ‘It was a horrible thing to do to you, even if it was for your own good. And you’re right. My plan was not a great one. I could easily have gotten us all killed. I’m sorry I did it and I won’t do it again … so long as you promise not to send me into protective custody again either.’
Broad shoulders that had been braced, ready to hold up the entire planet, finally relaxed, and he knelt down in front of my chair as if asking for forgiveness. ‘I won’t. That was very nearly the worst mistake of my life, and I’ve made some pretty bad ones.’ He peered up at me from under his long lashes. ‘And for what it’s worth I do understand why you did it. I know I’d be pretty tempted if I could keep you from doing anything risky. But that’s not how relationships are supposed to work.’ A scowl flickered across his brow. ‘I suppose we’re just going to have to learn to trust each other.’ He squeezed his eyes shut for a second and breathed deeply, deciding, and when he opened them again he nodded. ‘Jake was supposed to report in to the police this morning—he didn’t show. The sergeant’s been trying to locate him all week with no success. No one’s seen him since he came back from Melbourne. Even his family didn’t realise he’d returned, not that they seem to want to have much to do with him anyway. If he really is lurking around the bush here somewhere then I hate to admit it, but you’re probably right. It would be better to deal with him on our own terms rather than wait for him to act. I’ll call Sergeant Loxwood tomorrow and see what he thinks of your suggestion. Please promise me you won’t do anything without letting me know first? I’ll even try to be reasonable and listen next time.’ His pale eyes sought mine, questioning how angry I was with him.
‘I’ll keep you informed as best I can,’ I said, reminding him that I couldn’t always tell him everything. Some words would never make it past my lips, but I would try. I owed him that much.
Chapter 54
Noah and Tess returned home with their impossibly perfect baby boy the following morning, and so it wasn’t until lunchtime that I had a chance to ask Bane whether he had managed to speak with the sergeant, who had moved out again as soon as the visitors had started arriving. It would have been tricky to explain why he was staying with us, given how hard we were all trying to convince the Nalong community that the drama of Tessa’s abduction was now over. There was enough gossip going on without the sergeant’s presence adding to it.
While the others were all eating I wandered out to the garden, knowing Bane would follow and no one would question it. Somehow I had to avoid letting Noah get involved in what we were doing, partly because he had more important priorities just then, and partly because I didn’t want Jake to pay him any attention at all. I was terrified of triggering anything that might put him or Tessa in any further danger.
I pounced on my shadowing Guardian the moment we were out of earshot.
‘So what’s the plan? Is there a way I can contact Jake? What do I say?’
He took my hand and delicately kissed the inside of my wrist, neatly disarming most of my bellicosity. ‘You can’t contact him, Lainie. If you do then you would be the one causing him to breach his bail conditions.’
‘He already breached his bail conditions by not showing up yesterday.’
‘True, but after the debacle of his last hearing, we want to ensure that we don’t give him any legal loopholes to slip through.’
Legal shmegal. How come Bane could imply that he was willing to break the most serious law there was to stop him, but I couldn’t even talk to him? He was right though. Unfortunately I only had one other suggestion.
‘In that case, we’re going to have to find him in a more clever way, and then make sure he gets to watch you heal me again. That should cause him to act before thinking.’
His eyes could not have gone any wider. ‘And the sensible part of that suggestion is, what, exactly?’
‘He’ll be compelled to approach me, even if Sergeant Loxwood is standing right there with us. I doubt he’ll have a gun this time. He won’t even have a plan. I’m sure between the two of you, you can safely take him into custody.’ I tried to smile winningly at him.
A scowling pause, and then, ‘I’m reluctant to use the word “stupid” in case it offends you, but I really can’t think of a better one. It’s a stupid idea, Lainie. I’m not going to let you get hurt just so I can heal you and put you in even more danger. Just out of curiosity, how were you thinking of finding him?’
I grinned at his honesty. It was refreshing after being treated like a glass ornament for so long. ‘I’m not really sure, I was hoping maybe if I went closer to the cave it might enhance my ability to sense who’s around. Particularly in the river. I can sort of … feel life around me much more clearly. If he is lurking around here somewhere, I might be able to locate him better. Actually, I think you should try it too. It wouldn’t surprise me if the water somehow enhanced your ability to sense threats to me as well.’
‘Wait, what do you mean “locate him better”? What aren’t you telling me?’
‘Nothing,’ I replied quickly. ‘I talked to Noah as soon as he got home and he agreed. There are often people camping in the state park. We’re both trying hard to pay extra attention but none of the people passing through feel like they have any intention of heading towards the cave area or the valley.’
‘Lainie …’
‘All right, so something might have changed a bit this morning, but it’s very vague. Someone’s nearby, and it could well be him.’
I shook my head. ‘I’ve been paying attention to the “feel” of where Dallmin is since he left the other day. Tracking him, in a way, I guess. This is someone else.’
Bane’s voice went cold. ‘Where, exactly?’
‘Do I look like a GPS satellite? This is why I want to go to the cave.’
His thoughtful gaze turned towards the river. ‘I suppose that would be worth a shot, although could we try it in the river here first? We can’t take anyone else to the cave with us except Noah and Tess, and I’d rather not ask them.’
‘Of course not,’ I agreed. ‘They need to stay out of it. But why can’t we go on our own?’
‘Because I’m concerned that I might not be able to protect you by myself,’ he admitted, pulling me close.
‘Are you kidding me? If I can’t protect myself, even with all your help, then no one can.’ I wrapped my arms around his chest. ‘And why would you doubt yourself like that?’
A shadow flickered behind his eyes, something hidden and bound in self-loathing. He brushed the place on my shoulder where I should have had a brag-worthy gunshot scar, and then hesitantly he reached up and touched my throat, right on the place where a knife had once sliced through deeply enough to kill. ‘You might not have the scars, but I still carry them,’ he admitted.
I caught and kissed his fingertips. ‘Scars aren’t always bad. They help us to remember, so we can heal—not that I can actually remember the pain. The Living Fruit takes that away, you know, as if it never happened. And if I can heal that completely, then so can you. I’m right here, Bane, you didn’t lose me, and I’ve already forgiven you even though it was never your fault. Don’t you think it’s time you forgave yourself?’
‘I suppose that depends a lot on how well I do this time. If I let anything happen to you again, I’m not sure I could handle it. I’m terrified I’ll let you down again.’
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