‘You can tell what he’s thinking?’
‘Not specifically, I can sense what his intentions are, and he’s trying to control his curiosity. I wonder if his police training is helping with that.’
‘What about Dallmin? Should we move him away or tie him up or something?’
‘He’s out cold so I can’t tell. Did you do that?’
‘Yeah. I’m not very proud of myself though, so please don’t make it sound like it was a heroic deed.’
He gathered her into his arms. ‘Thank you, Tessa. You did what needed to be done. I wish you didn’t have to. It’s not who you are.’
‘It’s not who you are either, Noah. I’m sorry Jake got away with the sword, but I have to be honest and say that I’m glad you didn’t kill him.’
Silently then, she clung to him while they waited for the others to arrive.
Tessa watched with narrowed eyes as Dallmin regained consciousness a few minutes later, looking dazed and confused. It didn’t help that Annie had finally remembered how to feel angry.
‘Did you let that man kill my daughter?’ was the first thing she asked as soon as his eyes were open.
Miserably perplexed, he looked back at her. ‘No. He said he would make her sleep, and once I was back home with you he was going to return and let Bane go so that he could wake her. Lainie did it to Bane once. He did not die.’ Groggy eyes tried to focus on Annie’s face. He reached out a hand to touch her, but Annie swatted it away in irritation. He tried again to explain. ‘I was careful not to tell him about Noah. I don’t want him to hurt Noah or Tess or Nathaniel. He said he wouldn’t tell anyone about the cave, or Eden. He was not going to cross the Boundary. He wanted to help me see if the sword would clean me of the taint, that’s all.’
To Tessa’s ears he sounded like a child trying to work out why he was in trouble.
Sitting up woozily, he leant towards Annie again, talking with both words and sign to try to make her understand. ‘I explained to him why he felt he needed to kill Lainie before, and so now he understands his compulsion, and he can control it. He wants to give them an apology. That means tell them that he wishes he had never hurt them. It leads to heart-healing.’ He smiled in innocent satisfaction.
Tessa managed to grab Annie’s wrist a split second before she could slap him. ‘Annie, he doesn’t understand what lying is. He was completely unprepared for Jake. It was our fault for letting him go. We should have realised how vulnerable he was, but we never considered he might try to find Jake on his own.’
Annie stared in horror at her own hand until Tessa let her go, then after a moment, she turned to Noah. ‘Where is Lainie? I can feel others approaching and still I can’t feel her. Tessa mentioned poison. Is she really dead?’
He couldn’t lie to her. ‘Yes, Annie, she’s dead. But Bane is trying to hold on to her, to stop her from moving across. They’re bringing her here. Perhaps if we take her home she’ll heal? Is it possible?’ He searched her face for reassurance.
All Annie did was shrug her shoulders.
‘What do you mean?’ Dallmin asked, cradling his swollen jaw. ‘She is only sleeping. Bane can wake her.’
‘No, Dallmin,’ Tessa explained, trying to sound patient. ‘Jake said one thing and then did another. He lied to you. He tricked you into telling him about Eden and now he’s run away with the sword. Bane is injured and Lainie is dead. We will try to bring her back with the Fruit, but it’s unlikely to work.’
‘Why not? I once stopped for a very long time. The Fruit had no trouble bringing me back.’
‘The rules are different there,’ Noah said. ‘Here, the body begins to decay, like dead plants and animals in Eden. She can’t remain in her body for long once it’s stopped because it won’t be able to hold her soul once it has decayed too far. Bane is trying to keep it from breaking down, but he can’t if she slips too far away.’
‘No, she doesn’t want to move across yet. She’s only just found Bane. What have I done?’ he cried. No one knew what to say.
So they waited in the dark and said nothing.
Chapter 66
Having met the others at the mouth of the cave, Tessa explained everything that had happened, and then led the way in, holding up the lantern she’d insisted they keep there permanently and trying to keep ahead of Bane’s frantic pace. He seemed to step into every pool of water there was. Maybe she should have brought a brighter one.
‘Oh. Is this it?’ Mick asked as they rounded the last bend, sounding somewhat disappointed. Without the mesmerising presence of the sword, the cavern was just a dank cave, shadowy and cold.
‘I know you,’ he said, trying to look at Annie and not look at her at the same time, while he was being pushed along by Bane, who refused to slow down. Tessa had grown accustomed to nakedness in this place, but she hadn’t thought to warn the policeman.
‘No you don’t,’ Lainie’s mum replied. ‘It was someone else.’
‘Annie?’ he marvelled. ‘You …’ He cut himself off—probably just in time to avoid any embarrassing references to her supposed suicide, and then seemed to fumble around for something else to say instead. ‘I remember that day like it was yesterday. My first arson investigation—’
A sharp look from Annie made him pause again, and he cleared his throat. ‘And I remember helping Har—I mean, your neighbour, bring Lucas home from his Buck’s night. Lucas kept saying that getting that drunk didn’t help, but he wouldn’t say what with. You don’t look a day older than you did then …’
Annie’s expression became haunted.
‘So Lucas was—’
‘Sergeant,’ Noah interrupted and shook his head in warning against the touchy subject.
‘Right. Sorry.’
As the stretcher bearing Lainie’s corpse was transferred into Noah’s and Annie’s waiting hands, Tessa watched Dallmin creep into the same corner where she herself had been planning to hide before the fight. He looked terrified of Bane, and she didn’t blame him.
Without wasting any time, the grieving Guardian kissed his Cherub one last time, and then they all watched on, barely breathing, as the two remaining Cherubim disappeared eerily across the invisible border. That made the sergeant’s eyes widen.
She lost track of how long they held their vigil, waiting for news. It felt like hours but probably wasn’t. All she knew was that she would have to get back to Nathaniel pretty soon or they were both going to suffer for it. Even so, she couldn’t leave without knowing.
‘What is Bane doing now? Is he writing down this story?’ Dallmin asked her in a hushed tone. He still seemed to be trying to avoid attracting the Guardian’s attention. Bane was ignoring him anyway as he folded his finished note and then stood unmoving, with his hands limp by his sides and his eyes fixed on the unseeable world beyond. Like a Hiroshima shadow, he was an echo of a man who had once, briefly, been given hope. A bandage on his arm was seeping blood as if it was crying the tears he seemed unable to shed.
Tessa pushed aside her irritation, trying to remind herself that Dallmin hadn’t fully understood the consequences of throwing a knife at Noah. To him it was just a convenient way to stop him from fighting Jake. He’d known she would heal him. Having lived for so long with access to the Living Fruit that healed all pain, and even the memory of pain, he probably hadn’t even completely come to terms with the fact that he could harm someone else. A few weeks earlier, he would never have conceived of doing such a thing. It was as if his very genetic makeup was changing, becoming tainted, and he didn’t even understand it himself.
‘I told him to compose an imaginary letter to Lainie, so he could focus on the belief that she would wake up and read it. It was supposed to help him to hold her spirit here,’ she explained through gritted teeth. ‘I guess he decided to write it out properly. I don’t think he expects her to return. It’s his way of saying goodbye.’ She wondered how
he had managed to write anything useful down with the embargo limits they all had. Perhaps there was only so much guilt a person could feel.
Dallmin dropped to his knees beside her. ‘I did this,’ he rasped. ‘It’s because of me that this has happened. I am eaten by this taint. Even more than people who have never lived in Eden. What sort of a creature am I? I can never go back. I would destroy my home! What will happen to me now?’
Taking big deep breaths, Tessa unclenched her jaw. It would help if he didn’t sound like such a whiney child. ‘It is your fault, Dallmin. Yours and Jake’s.’ Her voice was not coming out as calmly as it was supposed to. ‘You need to do whatever you can to make things right, not sulk like a baby. I’m sorry, but I can do nothing to help you right now. Please leave me alone.’ Moving to stand next to Bane, she joined her fellow Guardian as they waited for news of their charges. She tried her best to ignore Dallmin as he asked Sergeant Loxwood a whispered question and then quietly left the cave.
Chapter 67
Why was I still here? I wanted to fly. I knew I could, and yet I hadn’t. Why not? It made no sense. I was built to fly. I was certain of that, even if everything else was crazy swirly. Looking down, I could see my clothes. No, not clothes, my body. I could see my body, the one I had left behind, because it was broken. It didn’t matter because it wasn’t my real body anyhow. My real body knew how to fly, and how to phase. The old body was just a human copy. I was not bound by it, nor was I bound to move across as soon as my link to it was broken, the way humans were. I was free to do as I chose. So why, then, was I still here?
My old body was still pulling at me. I vaguely remembered struggling to stay with it, but I had no idea why I would want to do that. Perhaps it was because of someone else? Someone else wanted me to stay with my old body, and so I had naturally re-aligned my will to match. That must be it. That was the only thing that would make any sense. Perhaps I should wait a little longer to decide. Besides, I was curious. I’d been promised a gift, and for some reason the thought of it filled me with excitement and expectation. How could I possibly go and explore the colours without first following the joy promised by my gift?
Besides, I could hear Noah shouting at me. He was so rude. I was not being lazy! And how dare he call me a bumfuzzled butt-monkey? Oh! And no way was I going to let him call me that either! He’d crossed a serious line this time …
Irritably I turned around so I could yell back at him.
Chapter 68
Despite the razor-wire tension, the sombre tone of the cavern brightened like fresh summer dawn when Noah returned. He had that familiar distracted look in his glowing eyes that he always had when he returned from Eden. Tessa drooled inwardly at the breathtaking sight of him standing, bare foot and bare chested, on the threshold between worlds like a young Hermes, ready to escort the souls of the deceased across to the afterlife. His hair was wet so she guessed he’d been swimming again. At least he’d remembered to put his jeans back on.
He gave a quick lift of his chin to Bane, and didn’t waste a single breath in delaying his news. ‘She’s back.’
Tears of both relief and disbelief flowed freely at the news. Mick let out a very unprofessional whoop and gave Tess a kiss on the cheek, while Bane slumped to his knees in utter relief and exhaustion.
Noah gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder. ‘She’s pretty dazed so I told her to take things slow. It took a lot of Fruit to bring her back. Her mum sang to her for a while but nothing happened. In the end I insulted her. Quite a lot. That seemed to do the trick. I’m kind of glad you weren’t there to hear it though.’
‘If it worked, then I don’t care what you had to do. Thank you, Noah. Again. I owe you everything.’ Stripped to hollow emotion, the Guardian had nothing left with which to sustain his composure as he knelt and stared at the invisible wall between worlds. Silent sobs of double-edged release bowed his shoulders.
‘Yeah, that’s twice now that I’ve done your job for you,’ Noah joked. ‘Third time’s the charm though. Do I get a free gift next time?’
‘There won’t be a next time.’
Tessa winced. She knew what was coming because it was exactly what she would have done. What she may yet have to do. She moved to stand next to Bane and placed her hand on his shoulder.
‘I’m going after Jake,’ Bane said to Noah. ‘Do you feel compelled to come?’
Her husband looked to her as if trying to figure out a way for him to go chasing after Jake without her and Nathaniel coming along. What crappy timing this was.
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘There’s no one to protect this place until Lainie returns. I think that without the sword here, guarding this place takes priority, but I have a burning need to get the weapon back too.’
‘I’ll do everything in my power to help you find it,’ the sergeant interjected. ‘I can’t imagine Jake will be brave enough to attend his mandatory appointments now. We’ll have all the help we need to catch him.’
Sure, because the justice system was so helpful last time, Tessa complained silently.
Bane seemed to agree. ‘Noah, I think you should collapse this cave like Lainie suggested. As soon as possible. Without the sword it’s the only way.’
Noah shook his head. ‘I don’t want … I don’t know if we can collapse the whole thing without inadvertently opening up new tunnels. The best we can do is build another rock wall like Uncle did, unless Lainie has a better idea—’ He broke off as Bane stood up and looked him in the eye.
‘I can’t protect her here. I’ve failed her twice now. I’m sorry, Noah, you’re going to have to do it without her help.’
‘Wait, you want me to lock her in there? Permanently?’ Noah swung his attention back towards the Boundary as if hoping Lainie would appear to talk some sense into him. ‘Last time it was her, this time it’s you! Seriously, you two are as bad as each other! Have you really thought this through?’ He sidled closer so the sergeant couldn’t easily overhear his next question, but Tessa heard it perfectly and it broke her heart. ‘What about, you know, continuing the line? You two didn’t, I mean …’
‘No, we didn’t, and a large part of me will regret it for the rest of my days. On the other hand I don’t know if I could have lived with myself knowing I had a daughter that I could never meet, so it’s just as well really.’ He slumped against a stalagmite as if he wanted it to draw him into its crystal embrace. ‘I’ve thought about it a lot, Noah. I’m sure this isn’t the only time in history that things haven’t gone as planned, and the line has always continued. The fact that Annie found Dallmin gives me hope. I’ve also been thinking about your parents.’ He looked up at Noah in stripped-back appeal. ‘Tell me honestly, do you believe that your mother was genuinely happy in her marriage?’
Unable to elude an honest answer, Noah gave a single nod. ‘I know she was. She loved Dad, and all of us.’
‘Then I have to believe the same will be true for Lainie. She’ll find someone else once the bond has been broken. A commitment has power of its own, and nowhere more than in Eden, from what I understand.’ A shiver seized him, as if the reality of his choice was just sinking in properly. His hand moved to his pocket as if searching for something, but whatever it was, it was missing. He looked bereft as he stared at his empty, blood-stained fingers, and Tessa fought to swallow down her tears. He didn’t need to see her cry.
Dallmin returned then, carrying a note he had apparently gone back to the car to write. She watched him halt, unbreathing when he saw that Noah had returned.
‘She’s okay,’ Noah told him graciously. Bane still refused to even look at him.
A slow relieved smile lit the man’s face, but shame still coloured his eyes. ‘I did not know she would die. I would never hurt Lainie. Thank you for taking her for healing, Noah,’ he said earnestly. He handed him the note. ‘Would you please give this to Annie for me? I must leave here now, and I wi
ll not return. I have to make things right. I want … no, I would greatly appreciate it if you would pass this to her. She deserves to know the truth about me, so she can move on. I don’t want for her to think that I am the same man she loved.’
Noah took the letter and said nothing. Everyone watched as Dallmin glanced at Bane, opened his mouth as if to speak to him, but then sighed, turned, and left the cavern.
Once he was out of sight Bane finally stirred, slipping his own note inside Dallmin’s and then nodding to Noah. ‘I’ll wait outside. We’ll need a body, once you feel ready. I’ll help you with the details,’ he offered, his expression bitterly resolute. ‘Make sure the rock wall is a solid one.’ Then he turned and left as well.
Chapter 69
Honeyed sunlight warmed my face as I stretched out on the grass. It felt nothing short of magical to dig my tingling fingers into the soft earth and taste the fresh scent of the giant yellow hibiscus blossoms that framed my view of the sky. I let the feel of home soak into every pore … along with a good amount of dog slobber, as Bungee licked my ear in his affectionate greeting. After I had scratched every one of his ribs for him, he lay quietly against my shoulder, sharing the peaceful sky with me. I had missed Eden even more than I’d realised, and it felt so delicious to lose myself in the joy of the Garden. In the branches above us, two thousand silver butterflies tangled in a frolicking dance. I felt so alive, even though my brain was still very addled. I knew I had lost memories again, but I wasn’t afraid of them. They would return in their own time—or not. It didn’t seem to matter very much. For some reason I was feeling bad for Tim though, I just couldn’t quite remember why. With indulgent slow precision I unfolded my letter. I hadn’t received one for a long time, and never a love letter. It felt terribly romantic. Until I saw the crazy handwriting. It looked like he’d written it left-handed while jogging on a treadmill.
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