by Jamie Murray
"Yeah, of course I remember…"
"Don't act as though I'm crazy for not expecting you to remember," Louisa said, shaking her finger at Jameson. She rubbed her face tiredly. "It's been a long day. The Princess is going to ask to speak with you and, when she does, tell her, 'yes, of course, let's speak right now' and take her someplace private and speak with her. Don't go into details, just be optimistic and charming."
"So I'm allowed to speak with the princess but not to Johanna?" Jameson said somewhat sarcastically.
"Exactly," Louisa said. "Tina isn't as complicated as Jo is. Just agree with what she says and tell her you're going to save the world and she'll be happy. You'd have to be an idiot to mess that up."
"Thanks, I guess," Jameson said.
"Come on," Louisa said, opening the door and pulling Jameson back inside. They were immediately intercepted by Princess Erestina, who was clearly on her way outside the room and was taken aback by their sudden entrance.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "Jameson. Do you have a moment?"
"I—" Jameson started, but then received a harsh look from Louisa so he decided to revise his response. "Of course. Let's…speak right now." He gestured for the door and she nodded, leading the way out the door. Jameson glanced over at Cyrus who was watching him closely in a very protective manner, which told Jameson that he had been instructed to stay put against his will.
Now feeling a little pressured, Jameson left the room again with the princess. She was waiting a few paces away from the door. "Can we walk?" she asked.
"Of course," he said, actively ready to employ Louisa's advice on how to handle Erestina.
"Has your memory fully returned?" Erestina asked after a short pause.
"Most of it," Jameson said, stretching the truth a bit. "I can't remember what happened after…you know, that day. Under Market City."
"I understand," Erestina said. "I'm glad to see you again. I'm glad you've returned."
"I wish I could have returned sooner," Jameson said.
"We all do," Erestina said with a slight nod. "It's been very strange for me and Felix to come back here after so many years of being away. I imagine much of what I'm feeling is what you're feeling too. Did you find whatever you were looking for in the Forest?"
Jameson wasn't sure how much Erestina needed to know on the subject. After all, he hadn't told anyone else yet and even though the princess was fully immersed in fighting for a better world, there wasn't anything she could do to help them. Louisa had also advised him not to go into details about much of anything and remain optimistic so, although he wanted to go on a rant of what was already expected of him, he only nodded his head and said, "I needed some time. But I'm committed to the Prophecy. Things will get better."
Erestina smiled and looked satisfied with that answer. "I can breathe easy now," she said. "If you say it, I'll believe you."
They had come to the end of the hallway and turned around to walk back.
"What about Baloric?" she asked, clearing her throat.
"I don't know what to tell you," Jameson said. "I don't have anymore facts than you. It seems like the most plausible place he would be was in the inn, but we didn't find him there so that means he has to be someplace else."
"He wouldn't still be at the mines, would he?" Erestina suggested. "I didn't want to say it in front of Johanna."
"Well…without his boots?" Jameson tried.
"You're right," Erestina said, looking ashamed for not considering that piece.
"I'm sure he's fine," Jameson said. "You don't have to worry about him. We'll figure out where he went."
"Thank you, Jameson," she said. "Once you're all together again, I'm sure you'll be able to think of something."
"It's nice to hear someone have confidence, Princess," Jameson said. They were now standing outside the doorway of their room again and, just then, it occurred to Jameson that Erestina was royalty and he had not presented himself in any kind of respectful or way. The princess did not seem to notice and, if she did, she was too polite to indicate she was offended as she reached for the doorknob to enter the room. Jameson lunged for it, feeling as though it was his duty to at least open the door for her.
"Thank you," Erestina said as she entered and Jameson internally kicked himself for looking and acting like an idiot.
Cyrus stood up as she entered, so Jameson made a mental note that he had to stand when the princess came into a room.
"There's no sense staying up all night," Louisa said. "We all should get some sleep to get us ready for tomorrow."
"Why?" said Johanna in a shaken voice. "What's going to happen tomorrow?"
"The town is in shambles," Louisa said. "We should do whatever we can to help, right Jameson?"
"Yeah," Jameson said. "And maybe…" He stopped talking because Louisa looked at him sharply, perhaps anticipating what he was about to say, which was something along the lines of, "Maybe Baloric will turn up." Johanna looked up at him when she did not hear a conclusion to his sentence, so he awkwardly said, "And maybe…we'll figure out what's happening next."
The others agreed, content with Jameson's revision as the truth. Initially Johanna complained that she wasn't going to be able to sleep after everything that happened, but as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was fast asleep. Jameson was feeling strangely rested as he took a spot on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and sorting through all the possibilities of what Luke could be doing, what Meg was thinking and where Baloric could be.
24. Most People Just Call Me Jameson
Chapter 24
Though it was not his intention, Jameson woke up before everyone else the next morning and decided to get an early start on what he expected to be an excruciating day. He went straight to the site of the inn which, in comparison to all the other buildings, was fairly clean. Jameson felt determined to find at least a clue for Baloric's whereabouts, even though he didn't expect to find anything.
He kicked around the waste that remained on the plot of land and it didn't take long before he stumbled across the cellar. He pulled the doors open and stared into the darkness, remembering how Walden had warned him about stepping down so long ago, so he cautiously entered and descended the stairs. There was nothing in particular he was looking for and his exploration seemed especially useless because the basement had also apparently been cleaned out and was virtually empty. There were only a few leftover shelving units and tarps and it didn't offer him any explanation.
It was dark in the cellar so he didn't wander too far away from the doorway where the sun was surprisingly bright. He recalled where the table had been when Walden took him and Louisa down there and spread a map out to show them the mines. The table was no longer there.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of movement above him, so he imagined there was someone walking across where the inn used to stand. He started to go towards the staircase again, but abruptly the light from the entrance was cut off as he heard the cellar doors slam shut. His heart skipped a beat out of fear of getting trapped, so he broke into a run and almost tripped on the stairs to get to the doors. Perhaps overzealously, he pushed the doors open and nearly knocked over the person who had closed the doors.
When he regained his composure, he discovered the person who had closed the doors was Johanna and she had fallen over in surprise when he had opened them. "Jameson—" she stuttered, trying to stand up quickly. "I didn't realize you were down there…I thought they just left the doors open when they searched down there…"
"No, sorry," Jameson interrupted her. "I guess I shouldn't have been there."
"I heard you leave this morning," Johanna said. "I thought maybe you were on your way back to the Forest."
"I'm not going to be leaving like that again," Jameson assured her. "And…I'm sorry. About last time. If I was rude to you, I mean."
"It's all right," Johanna said. "I mean, you had every reason to be so jumpy." She ran her fingers through her hair and then held out her hand for Jameson to
shake. "I guess we never really actually met with all the commotion. I mean, we met once before, but you weren't really in your right mind. I'm Johanna Sparrow. You can call me Jo if you want. Actually, I'd like it if you called me Jo. And you're Jameson?"
"Jameson Zane."
"Nice to meet you," she said. "Do you have a nickname or should I just call you that?"
"Most people just call me Jameson. Luke—he's a friend of mine—calls me Jim, but no one else really does that."
Johanna nodded thoughtfully, the distant look in her sunken eyes reminding Jameson of someone in particular, and initially he wasn't sure who. Then, he realized it was Walden: all of her face was his.
He was about to reflect on how Walden used to call him nicknames from the very first day they met.
That was just something Walden always used to do.
"All right. Fair enough." Johanna turned away from him and began to walk towards what was once considered the front yard and, at a loss of anything else to offer, Jameson simply followed her. She glanced over her shoulder at him and mused, "We were going to move away from this place and live in Market City, but I always thought I would come back to visit. I've always lived here. But now…there isn't really a reason to visit. It's not as though I have any friends besides Baloric and Louisa." She crossed her arms. "What do you think about Baloric?"
Jameson heard the question but he wasn't sure he knew what it meant. He didn't know if she was asking what he thought of Baloric as a person or if she was asking what he thought about the situation involving Baloric as missing. There wasn't a lot he wanted to say about Baloric being missing after Louisa had instructed him not to, but if they were the only two there and she asked him a question, it would be rude to just ignore her and not say anything.
The pause was longer than Jameson had intended as Johanna looked at him questioningly, expecting an answer.
"We don't have to worry about him," Jameson tried.
"Can you tell me about when you first met him?" Johanna said. "I mean, when you met him in Gislan ten years ago. Louisa said he was really wimpy and weak like a little girl. Is that true?"
"I think that's harsh," Jameson said.
Johanna laughed a little bit. "If I ever started crying when I was young, she would always say, 'Oh, you're acting like Daigh again.' She calls him Daigh."
"That's his first name."
"Yeah," Johanna said with a nod and a smile. She sighed and continued her reminiscent story with, "Louisa especially says mean things if he's standing right there and she wants him to hear it. He never really looks offended though."
"Well, I think he knows pretty well that she was exaggerating," Jameson said. "When we first met Baloric, I admit he was pretty different than he is now. He wasn't very confident, I guess. And he does seem pretty accident prone."
"He gets sick a lot," Johanna added.
"The short time I knew him, he never let me down," Jameson said. "That's part of the reason why I know he's all right now." Jameson uneasily tried to redact his statement, but she had already heard it.
Surprisingly, she looked happy. "It's nice to hear that," she said. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks he's all right, wherever he is. But…I wish he was here. I spend most of my time counting down the minutes until he comes back from another one of his trips, and then the rest of my time trying to make the minutes last longer while he's here. Now's one of those times when he's supposed to be here and he's not. I guess I just sound selfish."
"I don't think so," Jameson said reassuringly.
"Thanks," Johanna said as she started walking to the street, expecting Jameson to come along. "It's lucky we had most of the stuff we're bringing with us packed already. We actually didn't lose much when the inn was destroyed."
"That's good," said Jameson.
"Technically, the inn didn't really even belong to me anymore anyway," Johanna added with a shrug. "Since we found out Baloric wasn't inside when it collapsed, I guess we didn't lose anything at all."
"Even better," Jameson tried.
"Baloric can't stay disappeared for too long. He'll show up. Right?"
"Yeah, that's what I've been saying."
"Good." Johanna crossed her arms and looked up at the sky as they walked back to where they were staying. "Jameson, what's the biggest thing you remember about my father?"
"Where did that come from?"
"Well, we were talking about Baloric from all those years ago, and I wonder about Walden a lot. I didn't know him very well and Louisa won't talk about him. She says the first thing he did was steal from you."
"That wasn't the first thing he did," Jameson corrected. "He got us into the palace at Ailyth so we could meet the princess. And…then he stole from me. But he gave it back."
"All I knew him for was making promises that he couldn't keep," Johanna said, but then she closed her eyes and lowered her head, looking ashamed. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to talk about him like this. It's probably upsetting for you."
"It's all right."
"I'm just feeling really disoriented lately," Johanna admitted. "You seem like the best person to talk to. For ten years of my life, all I could hear about was how people were saying, 'If only Jameson was here…' or something."
"People said that?"
"Well, Louisa and Baloric did. And Tina. Never really Felix."
"I don't think he's a big fan of mine."
"I can't pretend to know him really well. I used to. We used to be really good friends. We're the same age, after all. But then after he left with Tina, a long time went by before I saw him again." She put hands on either side of her head and made a face. "I guess everything's all crazy. Tina and Felix coming back, and you coming back, and Baloric missing…sorry."
"For what?"
"I'm unloading all this on you and you barely know me. It's like, 'Nice to meet you, I'm crazy and annoying!'"
"I think you're a little critical of yourself."
"That too," Johanna said, nodding. "I'm also that."
Jameson looked ahead to see a group of men clearing out another plot of land which had been decimated by the Forces. "Let's go help them," he said to Johanna.
"If you can stand spending anymore time with me," Johanna said.
"Of course. I want to hear more too. I'll tell you about Louisa and Baloric when we were all younger, and you tell me everything about them now. We'll trade."
"It's a deal," Johanna agreed.
She smiled privately to him, as if he was the only one she could show her teeth to.
25. Just Waste Time
Chapter 25
Jameson and Johanna spent the day with each other and helping out others to clean up what remained of their homes or shops, reminiscing about earlier and less complicated times. Johanna apologized frequently and to others around her who may have to listen to her complain, though Jameson assured her she was no worse than Louisa, which was understandable since she had grown up with her.
Jameson was surprised at how she was so completely unlike Walden, yet so similar to him in many ways. She was like a perfectly synchronized version of Walden and Louisa, which proved to be an interesting combination. It resulted in a very outspoken young lady who was not afraid to speak her mind or get dirty, offering her services in any job presented to her even when stronger men were just as available. She almost seemed to delight to taking on a job which may have been beyond her capabilities because she not only enjoyed the opportunity to try, but she also enjoyed asking for help. He wouldn't go as far as to say she acted like a boy, yet she was somehow in limbo between boyish childhood and emerging womanhood. She was one of the very few women Jameson had encountered who wore pants, which seemed all around more practical, though not necessarily the most normal.
Jameson evaluated that Louisa was right when she said Johanna was complicated because by the time the day was over, he wasn't sure if he knew her any better than when he met up with her at the inn. At first, he thought he was learning about her, but he soon
realized that the image she was presenting may have been carefully constructed in order to protect herself from her fears. After all, she had spent infancy with the Ivilia, childhood with a man who resented her existence, and then her teenage years with a guardian like Louisa, occasionally visited by Baloric. He imagined someone like her would have benefited from consistency and a much less tiresome existence.
Of course, Jameson could only picture what was going through her mind concerning him. Every once and a while, he caught her staring off at the mines, as if expecting to see something, and then quickly return to work. Other times, he would turn around and find her staring at him, and make a passing remark that he had dirt on his face or something equally mundane.