“Well, aren’t the vagabonds of the world fortunate for that.”
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CHAPTER TWELVE
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William caught Leah just as she tripped on the sidewalk. “Are you all right?” He’d seen the way his words had stunned her the moment before she fell but didn’t know what to make of it. He righted her, and her hands gripped his shoulders before she pulled away and grabbed her frock.
Her face was still set in amazement.
He narrowed his eyes. “What is it?”
She shook her head and looked away. Her wig had gone awry during the fall and he watched as a single strand of hair fell to her shoulder. She caught it just as he did and busied herself with tucking it away before he could glimpse its true color. It had been blond, but with a faint hint of something darker.
“Why do you wear a wig?” he asked her as he helped her into the carriage. He’d originally thought it was because she was bald, but that strand of long healthy hair told him otherwise. It had glittered in the cold.
“I’m hiding from my husband.” She sat on her side of the carriage and started to touch her wig again, making sure it was secured.
He leaned back and watched her. “I believe it would take more than a wig to fool anyone of your identity.”
She shrugged and stared down at the ends of her frock, plucking the threads. Her body swayed slightly with the motion of the carriage. “You’d be surprised how easily men are fooled.”
No, he wouldn’t. For while she seemed such an innocent, a part of him was sure of her connection to the blackmailer.
“I can’t believe the Ashwicks are not paying you well.” He looked her over. The dress was outdated and the frock nearly useless against the cold. If the woman was making money, which he was sure she was given the lessons she taught, then why did she appear to make less than even a scullery maid? “Why don’t you buy new garments?”
She looked up at him with irritation. “Is that your third question?”
“I’m simply trying to get to know you,” he said with great care. He didn’t want to frighten her anymore. He didn’t want her afraid of him, not this woman who would speak up for a group of boys she had no connection to. There was so much more to her. He was sure of it. Just as he was sure that getting to the heart of her would take time. It would take all his patience and a gentle hand. “You’re a mystery, Mrs. Wells.”
Her eyes didn’t soften an inch. “I like my privacy.”
If that was so, then she never should have crossed his path, because now he couldn’t leave her alone. He didn’t even want to try. What was it about her that drew him? Part of him knew he should let her be. She was a married woman, after all. And yet, there was something not right about her story.
And he didn’t just want to know her secrets for the sake of Julius and the others. He wanted to know for himself as well.
That confession gave him pause. He didn’t need to know her to bed her. And yet he had a feeling that knowing her would make the experience all the better.
She stared at him as the silence between them became obvious. Her next question surprised him. “How is it that a gentryman’s son knows anything about hunger?”
He didn’t know where to begin to answer that question and what gave him pause had nothing to do with pride. He no longer looked down on his humble beginnings, but he was always hesitant about offending the father that he loved. He hadn’t known what had come over him to confess what he had to the boys while in Leah’s presence, yet he’d done it.
“Such a confession will cost you,” he told her. “Are you willing to pay the price?”
She held his eyes, and he readied himself for her refusal. When the slight nod of her head came, he relaxed.
He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. “When I was young, my father invested in farm soil that poisoned our lands. He didn’t make much of a profit after that first year and it only grew worse as time passed. Even after all these years, our land is only just reviving from it. Whatever was in that soil ruined all the good soil that had been there. At first, we tried to keep up appearances, but in short time, our credit was cut and debt collectors poured in like scavengers. Food became scarce.” They’d lost most of their tenants that first year and the rest quickly left. His father, Edmund, had worn the devastation for years, even though his mother, Regina, never made him feel guilty for it. Edmund and Regina had married very young and, even now, their love was evident.
For years, William had thought himself destined to have what they had, but he had come to realize that it would never be. The Slaughter, as far as William was concerned, had changed everything. There were secrets he could never confess to a woman and, therefore, William knew that he would never marry for love. He couldn’t. Not when his heart would forever wish to give a woman everything, including his darkness.
His friends had been the same, but after meeting their individual spouses, none of them had stood a chance against falling in love. Like moths to light, once they’d spotted their wives, they’d known their lives could be spent with no one else, and William didn’t blame them. But duty to the Brotherhood that had been forged long ago kept their greatest secret buried… for the time being.
But the men had spoken and decided it was time for the wives to know the truth. That was a decision that William grew more uncertain of as the days passed. How would the women look at their husbands once they knew the truth?
His gaze was focused on the woman he was sure held more secrets than most and he said, “I’ve told you something that I’ve told very few. Now, it is my turn to ask something of you.”
She became very still but nodded again.
He could see some invisible veil being pulled back even before he voiced his question. “How do you know the woman from the observatory?”
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He’d not asked her “do you know” but “how do you know,” which meant he’d been seeing right through her from the beginning.
Leah didn’t want to share too much. She couldn’t. And yet, she knew what it had cost him to share what he had. She’d heard it in his voice. He’d wanted to get the confession over as quickly as possible and had. She still had more questions but knew she’d not be able to ask them until she answered his question.
What should she say about Sarah that would not also lead to her death? Telling him anything would be a confession that she’d lied to him in some way, and the last thing she wanted was to go to prison for some crime she’d not committed.
Fear was thick in her blood and promptly started her heart racing.
His hand landed on hers, and she found his eyes gentle. “I don’t think you are the blackmailer.”
“Yes, you do,” she whispered, surprised that she’d said anything at all. Already she knew she’d said too much.
He tilted his head and looked frustrated. “You’re right. I do think you're the blackmailer, but I don’t want you to be.”
She closed her eyes. “Because you want to bed me.”
“Yes, and because I want there to be more to you.” His own voice was quiet, yet she wasn’t sure if he was sincere or if this was only another turn in their game. He was cornering her, leaving her without the space to flee.
Why had she agreed to this exchange of secrets? She knew why. She was too drawn to William. She wanted to know everything about him and everything she’d missed while away in France. She felt the same about Julius, but with William it was different. It had always been different.
She swallowed and bit her lip.
He moved and came to sit by her. He lifted her chin and forced her eyes on him. “I don’t care what you’ve done. Let me help you. I can protect you.”
Her eyes widened. “You don’t mean that.” He didn’t know what he was saying. He didn’t know who she was. She could never te
ll him. She shook her head, but he captured her once again and leaned close.
His gaze was just as strong as his features, brutish and intense. “I swear no harm will come to you, Leah.”
“Why?” she asked. Memories of the past came to her at that moment. He’d always been there even when she’d not been kind. Now, he suspected her of blackmail and yet still he wanted to protect her. “Why would you do this for me?”
“Because I want to trust you.” His fingers trailed down her cheek and at the same time brushed heat into her insides.
That feeling prompted her to do what she did next. “You swear to protect me?”
“Yes,” he said quickly.
“I’m the blackmailer. I heard about what Lord Darvess did and thought I'd gain enough money to move back to France.” She couldn’t allow his fixation with her to go on. He was getting far too close to the truth for her liking,
He let her go in an instant and leaned away. She watched all his earlier tenderness flee his eyes and his jaw muscles strain. “How did you find out about Julius’ past?”
She shrugged. “I heard some whispers and simply put things together, but now that I’ve been caught, I won’t do it anymore. Since you’ve sworn to protect me, I expect you to say nothing to Julius.”
He moved farther away and the look that filled his eyes made her stomach clench.
Distaste was written in his every feature.
“So, was your act of kindness with the boys and Mrs. Clara James just that? An act?”
She thought to lie again, but then finally shook her head. “No. I did that because what I’d witnessed was wrong. I will protect those women in the Spinster’s House with my very life and speak up for any child.”
“Yet putting fear into men who’ve done nothing to cause you the slightest hint of pain is all right?” He moved back to his side of the carriage and Leah felt the loss of his warmth… and his respect.
She wrapped her arms around herself, but it didn’t make her feel any better. “You’re men. You can handle yourselves. Men always do.” Let him think her bitter about her a husband she didn’t have.
“Why?” he asked.
“For money, of course.” She frowned and forced herself not to weep. Why was the ride to the Spinster’s House taking so long?
“Yet, I’ve witnessed you spend not a penny of your own money on yourself and your appearance,” he said. “So, what would the money be for?”
She turned away. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Do you have children?” he asked.
“No.” She glared at him. “If I did then they would be with me.” And imaginary husband or not, she’d fight tooth and nail to keep them.
That seemed to relax him a bit. His bunched shoulders fell, and he took a deep breath. “Does someone take your pay from you?”
She froze, and in the one action she knew she’d given away too much.
William leaned forward again. “Is it your husband?”
She shook her head. “Please, just leave it alone. I’ll not blackmail you anymore. Isn’t that what matters?” Though she’d have to work very hard to find Sarah swiftly now, for if the woman left Julius yet another note, the whole scheme would be ruined.
“Who was the woman at the observatory?” he asked. “Your sister?”
Leah had never wanted to strike a man more than she did at that very moment. “Liam, let it go.”
“Liam?” he asked.
She closed her eyes. “I meant William or Mr. Tift. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Just let it go.”
“No.”
Her eyes opened once again, and she felt them fill with anguish. “Are you incapable of simply hearing what I’ve said and letting it be?”
“Yes, because you’re still hiding something, and I plan to find it out.” He crossed his arms. “What you’ve done bothers me, but I still say there is more.”
The carriage finally stopped, and Leah rushed to exit.
He grabbed her arm before she could. “However, now that I know what you’re capable of, expect to be watched very carefully.”
She held his gaze and thought him the most beautiful man to ever be created. “If I were you, I would stay far away from a woman like me.”
His smile entranced her. “I plan to know you very well very soon.”
And like that, the game had begun once again.
“You’re hurting me,” she said, even though it was a lie. He was barely touching her and they both knew it.
Still, he released her, and she fled, deciding it was time to prepare for battle.
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
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“Why do we do what we do?” Leah asked the room of women who’d come to her psychology class. The sitting room was full. Chairs had been brought in from other rooms to accommodate them all. The women all ranged in age, the youngest being seventeen and the eldest eighty-two. They sat attentively and listened as Leah spoke.
She placed a hand on an old book her friend, the Ice Man, had secured for her, the rough brown binding harsh on her skin. “Marko Marulić wrote Psichiologia de Ratione Animae Humanae in 1506.” She lifted the book in question and paused to look over the room. “Could someone translate the title from Latin for me?” Sometimes she enjoyed mixing the language lessons with the other subjects, knowing they would help the women understand them better.
Emma, who was one of the older women in the room, lifted her thin hand. She was a mother of three but had left her husband the moment the children became old enough to live on their own. She’d come to the Spinster House with a black eye and broken rib yet had proven herself in the last few months to be much stronger than even she’d believed. “Psychology of the Nature of the Human Soul.”
Leah smiled. She was very proud of Emma. “Very good. The book was written hundreds of years ago, yet such subjects are said to have been studied even a thousand years ago. This question of how we act and why is still prevalent today. Great men like our own John Elliotson ask questions to understand the way we think. Why do you think that is?”
There were no hands that time and so Leah went on. “Well, the answer may be different depending on who answers, but I believe that understanding the way we think and why we think the way we do could lead us all to make better decisions.” She pressed the book to her chest. “And that is what I want for all of us. Each of us must make decisions every day, and I, for one, hope that my choices will lead to a very beautiful future. Don’t you?”
There were smiles from the women in the room, and Leah knew her own face reflected the same.
Like the women before her, she, too, had decisions to make and was grateful for the position of teacher she had at the Spinster House. Being amongst these women allowed her to focus on something other than her own problems.
That she was still teaching at all surprised her. She’d been sure that William would tell the Spinsters about her involvement in the blackmail and that she’d have been dismissed. Yet three days had passed. Leah was barely holding it together, simply waiting for the moment when her world would collapse.
He was keeping his word, protecting her, or perhaps that was only what he wanted her to believe. Perhaps this was all part of William’s plan, to torture her and make her break within her own mind before setting the hounds on her.
Julius, on the other hand, had not been avoiding her. In fact, her cousin was now like a dark shadow at times, standing in corners and watching her in a way that only she was aware of. She wondered what he knew and what William had told him. The look in itself wasn’t violent, yet still...
She wiped at a bead of sweat that formed on her brow and put the book down, fearing her trembling fingers would drop it.
“Oh!” someone shouted from the back of the room.
She jumped and turned. Leah sighed and se
ttled when she noticed the noise had come from Selina. The chair underneath her had collapsed.
“Sorry, Mrs. Wells.” The young girl looked away in embarrassment once she was again on her feet with the help of the other women. Tears looked ready to fall from Selina’s eyes. She weighed more than many of the other students in the room and that was where most of Selina’s internal pain rested. She struggled to fit in with the other women, not because of anything they’d done to dissuade friendship, but because she was not comfortable in her own skin and moved as such.
Leah firmly believed that it had been her husband who’d made her feel this way. Instead of being given love, she was given disgust, and though Leah had helped many of the women before, Selina was different. She needed someone who understood.
Leah helped the women put the broken chair pieces at the side of the room and said, “There’s no reason to fuss. I believe I’ve felt the chair wobble a time or two. It was bound to break.” And she had indeed.
Some of the other women joined in, saying they’d also thought the chair bound to give at any moment. Leah smiled around the room and thought about how much she loved them all. While many turned to her for strength, this place with these women was where she drew her own.
Selina was given a place on the couch and sat quietly.
She continued the lesson and when she was done, she dismissed the women, though many came up to thank her with tears in their eyes.
The women carried their chairs out of the room, leaving the broken one, and Leah was surprised to find a gentleman standing by the door.
Natalia’s Secret Spinster’s Society (The Spinster’s Society) (A Regency Romance Book) Page 9