by Sidney Wood
So that is what his comment about warmer weather meant. He wanted to move. Ulie knew Chuck preferred the warm weather. He loved the beach and fishing in the ocean. He and his friends had chartered a fishing boat in Baja a couple of years ago. Chuck visited a tanning hut ever since.
Ulie exhaled slowly. She had been holding her breath, waiting for something horrible to materialize from the pages. She could live with this. Although the thought of six long months away from Miranda made her heart sink, the promise of six uninterrupted months in return, lifted her spirits. She took a picture of each page and sent them to her attorney.
“What do you think?” she wrote. “This sounds better than a long, drawn out court battle to me.” Send.
The next morning, her attorney replied. “Yes! This looks promising. Let me do a little prying and see if there are any pitfalls to be wary of.”
Ulie read it as she drank her morning coffee. “Thank you! I hope to hear back soon.” Send.
After her first class, Ulie checked her phone again. She found a short, yet effective message from her attorney.
“It looks good! I will wrap this up today.”
Ulie smiled. “Thank you!” Send.
Excited and hopeful, Ulie wanted to share her good news. She thought of Noah.
“Ugh! Why do I keep doing that?”
Ulie decided right then, to move on. She’d find someone new, someone who treated her well and never lied to her. She didn’t need a man in her life that abused her like Chuck or led her on like Noah. Ulie would find someone better.
Ulie gripped her coffee mug tightly. “Damn him.”
Chapter Twenty (March)
Just over two months after she signed the agreement, Ulie received a check for one hundred and fifty-five thousand dollars. It blew her away that Chuck followed through, and she couldn’t believe the house sold for the list price! A million things could have gone wrong, delaying the sale or forcing them to accept much less. Instead, she had a check for more than one hundred and fifty-thousand dollars in her hand. It was enough to pay for grad school and leave a healthy cushion for her and Miranda in the meantime.
Ulie’s hands trembled as she slid her ID and the signed check and deposit slip across the counter to the bank teller. “For deposit, please,” she said timidly.
Raising her eyebrows, the brunette teller signaled her supervisor, an imposing blonde woman with wrinkles and a flair for purple. The older woman quickly verified Ulie’s information and stood by observing as the teller finished the transaction. “You’re all set,” the teller said with a smile. She extended her hand, offering Ulie a receipt.
“Thank you,” Ulie blushed, stuffing the receipt in her bag and walking out quickly. She had never had so much money in her life, and even with it safely deposited in her bank, she irrationally worried about being mugged or robbed at any second.
Ulie frowned, irritated that the ambitious and courageous girl of her youth turned into a frightened divorcee. “I don’t have to be afraid. I’m strong and independent. I survived Chuck…that asshole. I had the guts to try again with someone new, and even though it didn’t work out, I put myself out there.” Ulie straightened her back and lifted her chin as she walked to her car.
Buoyed by her newfound freedom, Ulie took out her phone and dialed a number she hadn’t had the courage to try. Despite her anger and mistrust, she still wanted to share her joy with Noah. Ulie supposed it made her a hypocrite after blaming all her problems on him, but she didn’t care. She wanted to hear his voice and to tell him that she was okay.
She hoped he’d answer, but even if he didn’t, Ulie thought she’d be alright. She was resilient, almost bulletproof. Ulie held the phone to her ear and waited with a confident smile.
Noah’s phone rang several times before going to voice mail and Ulie’s beaming smile faded. She swallowed dryly as he spoke into her ear.
“This is Noah. I’m sorry I missed your call. Leave a message and I’ll call you back.”
Standing next to her car, Ulie closed her eyes, momentarily soaking in the vibrations of his voice. She wanted to speak to him face-to-face, to tell him that she missed him and wanted to start over. She wanted him back.
The shrill message tone, telling her it was time to speak, caught her off guard and she stammered. “Oh, um, I’m sorry.” She paused, slapping her forehead at the stupidity of her choice. “Um, look…I don’t know why I called other than to say that things have changed for me; a lot. I’m not a charity case and I don’t need to be saved. You probably though I did after I made a fool of myself.” Ulie paused again and considered hanging up. She wished she hadn’t dialed his number, but she screwed up her courage and gave it one last try. Ulie sighed into the phone. “I still think of you, Noah, and I hoped maybe…things had changed for you too. If they haven’t, you don’t need to call me back. It’s okay, Noah. I mean it. I wish you the best.”
Ulie ended the call with a shaky press of her thumb on the home button. She had to steady herself against her car door as she pushed the device into her coat pocket. Sliding into the driver seat she froze.
Doubt swept in and quickly took charge. “Why am I setting myself up for another disappointment?” She leaned against the headrest. “You’re better than this, Ulie. Jesus, he isn’t worth it!” She wished she could erase her message. The high of the large settlement made her forget how much she had lost. She couldn’t open herself to that kind of hurt again. She wouldn’t.
Even as she nodded in agreement, determined to stand strong, she kept a sliver of hope that Noah would call. She faltered, biting her lip.
Ulie hurriedly took her phone out and set it on the seat beside her. “Just in case,” she whispered.
She drove home listening to the radio, with the volume turned down. When she arrived, Noah still hadn’t called or texted. Ulie grimaced at her foolishness and switched off the engine. She let her emotions get the best of her, and for what, more frustration?
Without Miranda, the apartment seemed cold and empty, a feeling that would only change when her baby returned. Their reunion still months away, Ulie fixed herself a dinner of taquitos and cheese dip as she listened to her latest romance audiobook. The characters in the story were utterly sickening in their love for each other. Ulie loved it.
After dinner, Ulie continued listening while she sat in the corner near her apartment’s largest window, sketching a fantasy cityscape in extreme perspective. She’d need a new sketch pad soon, having nearly filled the one she held. The futuristic vista spanned the page, nothing like the view outside. Ulie loved the feeling of creating new things and new places. The gift of artistry, of being able to put her imagination to paper so that others could also enjoy it, gave her great satisfaction. When she sketched, she could let go of her worries and regrets. Unfortunately, at her lowest points, picking up her sketchpad seemed impossible. She may have saved herself a lot of grief if she could have found a way.
Buzzing on the seat next to her, Ulie’s phone surprised her. Excitement bubbled as she dug under her leg to retrieve it. “Hello?” she answered too fast.
It rang again and her whole body trembled. Ulie fumbled the phone, unable to make her fingers do what she wanted. “Damn it,” Ulie cursed, swiping a second and third time to answer the call. “Hello?” she said, worried Noah had hung up. She held her breath.
“Hi, Mama!” Miranda sweetly greeted her through the phone.
Ulie held the phone out in disbelief.
“Mom?”
Ulie flushed red. “Oh, sorry baby, I’m having trouble with my phone. It’s all better now. I’m so glad you called! How are you?” As her brain caught up with her overactive emotions, Ulie’s mood brightened. She waved her disappointment aside and focused on the true light of her life. “Tell me all about your day.”
Miranda told Ulie about school and her new friends, and she melted Ulie’s heart by asking when they would see each other again. Ulie craved being wanted. She starved for it.
Ulie r
eminded Miranda they had plans to visit with Grandma just after Mother’s Day. Regardless of how the year split in half, Miranda would always visit on Mother’s Day and Ulie’s birthday. Major holidays rotated each year.
“Yay!” Miranda squealed. “I can’t wait to visit Grandma again!”
“Me too, baby,” Ulie said. “I can’t wait.” But she didn’t experience her daughter’s glee. The thought of visiting Alaska and not seeing Noah made her heart sink. “Oh god! What if I see him with another woman?” She cringed. Ulie’s eyes glazed over and the hair on her arms stood on end as she imagined a tall, buxom blonde slithering against him. “He probably prefers them like that.”
After the call, Ulie picked up her pencil and sketchpad and got back to work. It didn’t take long before she vanished into the artwork and forgot all about Noah. Shading and blending consumed her as the image came to life under her hands. She worked the darkest areas with a soft obsidian black pencil, earning her thick smudges on the heel of her drawing hand, her fingers, cheeks, and forehead. When she finished, Ulie flipped the page and laid the sketchbook down for the night. Tomorrow she’d draw another one.
As Ulie lay sleepless in her bed, she promised to never let Noah or anyone else treat her like that again. Her brow wrinkled as she whispered, “I don’t need him, and I won’t waste any more time hurting because of him.”
She unintentionally recalled Noah’s handsome face and the intoxicating sensation of his gentle touch. Tears welled in her eyes. “No!” she hissed. “He’s a liar and a manipulator. I never want to see him or even think about him ever again!” She buried her face in the pillow, squeezing her eyes tightly closed.
Despite the late hour, Ulie couldn’t sleep. Each time his voice tickled her ear, or his image slipped into her mind, and each time her body’s most sensitive places reacted to the memory of Noah inside her and holding her close, she pushed harder to send him away. She forced herself to acknowledge the good memories for what they were, lies and manipulation. His easy-going charms were nothing more than snake oil peddled by a serpent with a silver tongue. “Silvertongue,” she said. That would be his name from then on. It reminded her that he couldn’t be trusted, no matter how weak she felt or how good he seemed. If he ever tried to rekindle something with her, Silvertongue would be thwarted. She wouldn’t fall for his lies a second time.
****
When Ulie awoke, she saw a missed call and voicemail from Silvertongue’s number. She glowered at the screen. Without bothering to listen, Ulie hastily erased the message and deleted his contact information from her phone. “Take that, you son-of-a-bitch.”
Chapter Twenty-One (Mid-March)
“Okay, there’s no mistaking that this is my kid,” Noah laughed, holding Nicky as Lisa snapped a picture with her phone. Nicky sat comfortably on Noah’s big arm, smiling up at his daddy’s face. She beamed and Noah caught himself staring as he reminisced about their short-lived relationship. He never had closure, as abruptly as it ended, and he wondered if some of those feelings remained. Noah swallowed and looked away, not wanting to expose his weakness. That is what Lisa had become to him; a striking, sexy, and dishonest weakness. He knew that about her, yet he still felt tempted.
Noah might never fully trust her, and he knew he couldn’t love her the way he loved Ulie, but he tried to see a future with her. For Nicky’s sake, he thought he should try.
Passing the boy to Lisa, Noah watched as she buckled Nicky into the car seat. He tried not to let his eyes linger as he regarded her bent over, skirt rising to mid-thigh. Those honey colored legs used to catch his eye all the time, triggering an intense physical reaction. Noah noticed a slight stirring now. He had seen her in that exact position as she crawled onto his bed, looking over her shoulder seductively and completely naked, yet even that recollection did little to fuel the slow burn kindling in his groin. Without intending for it to happen, his thoughts drifted to Ulie.
Noah imagined her long legs and curvy backside provocatively bent over directly in front of him. He licked his bottom lip as he remembered the first jaw-dropping moment he observed Ulie’s figure from behind. He had wanted to take the fleshy crease between thigh and buttocks into his mouth, biting down gently in a wet tongued kiss. His desire had become reality as Noah acted on the impulse. He recalled the unparalleled softness of her skin, the distinctly feminine sway of her hips as he pressed his mouth against the back of her upper thigh, and the enticing sounds of her excited breathing as he caressed her body from behind.
“Shit,” Noah mumbled, trying to curb the growing bulge in his pants.
“What did you say?” Lisa peered over her shoulder with an inquisitive expression. Her eyes lowered to Noah’s groin then darted back to his face; a mischievous smile spread across her visage. “Oh, I see,” she teased. Lisa gyrated her hips with a giggle as she finished tying Nicky into his car seat.
Noah looked away. Lisa had one hell of a body, so of course she thought she had turned him on. It wasn’t exactly untrue. Noah brushed it off.
The uncertainty about paternity had been settled, and Noah and Lisa agreed to share custody. Only one question lingered. “What comes next?”
As she backed out of the car and stood, Noah stepped to her, slid his arms around her, and kissed her neck. His actions were calculated to appear thoughtful and attentive, maybe even loving, but they were empty. He acted out of obligation, compelled by duty. He didn’t want to be with Lisa, and he wished he could turn away or tell her the truth, but one look at the innocent boy in the back seat of her car made both of those things impossible. He couldn’t sentence Nicky to a fate like Luke’s. Noah had to put the children ahead of his wants and needs, to do what a man should do, rather than what his heart wanted. “Why don’t you both come and stay with me?” He said, nuzzling her ear with his mouth and cheek.
Lisa spun around to face him, lifting her head to meet his gaze. Her eyes sparkled. “Do you mean it?” she asked. She bit her lip.
The gesture disarmed him, and Noah suspected she knew it. He didn’t care.
“Yeah, I mean it,” Noah smiled. “And I’d like to give us another shot if you’re up for it.” Nodding toward the toddler in the back seat, he added, “I think we have a good reason to try.”
Lisa rested her head on his chest, hugging him around the waist. “Yes, to all of it.”
Noah inhaled, lifted by her acceptance and by the act of winning her over. It seemed strange, that mixture of emptiness and accomplishment, like being on a runaway train. He could turn the train, sometimes even switch tracks, yet he could never manage to stop it or slow it enough to jump off. Still, each successful turn or change of track yielded a measure of satisfaction. Perhaps that is why he focused on how to make things happen rather than if he should. Noah smiled, kissing the top of Lisa’s head. “We can move you out of your sister’s place whenever you’re ready. Just say the word.”
Lisa rose on her tiptoes, pressing her soft lips against Noah’s.
Long and sensual, the kiss aroused him, yet it didn’t take his breath away or set his heart on fire. Noah wondered what the kiss meant to Lisa, if anything at all.
Lisa’s body began to radiate heat and her mouth became more enthusiastic. If her feelings were phony, she excelled at deception. As her lips parted and her tongue seductively probed his mouth, Noah keenly felt her body against his. She pushed into him as if she wanted to climb inside his skin. The small fire in his groin roared to life. When Noah groaned, she pressed harder against the bulge in his pants.
Placing his hands on her sumptuous bottom, Noah picked her up and carried her to the driver side door of her car. He set her down and kissed her one last time. “I’ll see you later, at the house?”
Lisa grinned up at Noah through thick black lashes. “Yes!”
He watched her drive away, secretly hating himself for being so weak. His desire to take care of Nicky led to something he shouldn’t want. He let it get physical… No, he selfishly encouraged it to get physical.
****
Once they made the decision, logistics were quick to sort out. With Noah’s help, Lisa and Nicky moved from Anchorage to the Valley, and she began looking for a paycheck closer to home. Sometimes work or a job search would keep her out late, but Noah didn’t question it. He kept his head down and did his best to make things work.
About three weeks into the start of their new living arrangements, Lisa still worked in Anchorage. One Wednesday night she didn’t come home. Noah left a couple of voice mails, just checking on her welfare. He even called and left a message with her sister, but he never heard back. The next day, he called Lisa at work and she answered.
“Hey, there you are. Is everything okay?” he asked patiently.
“I’m okay.” She paused for a few seconds. “Noah, I’m sorry I didn’t come home. I got caught up, thinking so hard about everything, you know? Instead of driving home, I just kept going. I don’t even know where I went. It got so late that I went to my sister’s house and crashed.” She paused again, longer this time.
Noah didn’t answer. He let the silence linger, waiting for her to finish.
“I saw your missed calls, but it was already super late. I should have called you back anyway. Are you mad at me?” She said the last bit in a sheepish, young girl’s voice.
Noah recognized the manipulative ploy, and he bristled. He wanted to press her and ask where she had really been, but he bit his tongue. “I’m not mad, Lisa. I just got worried, that’s all. Will you be home tonight?”
“Yes, of course!” she said excitedly. “I’ll pick up Nicky after work and be right home.”
Lisa acted incredibly sweet and attentive over the next couple of weeks, and Noah started to think he had jumped to conclusions. “Did I overthink things? Was it all in my head?” Things were going so well, in fact, that Noah started to think about making things a little more official. If nothing else, it made sense to get Nicky and Lisa on his insurance plan.