I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles)

by Rose, Willow

  I found the door to the storage room unguarded and felt a fear rise in me that she had been moved again. But her scent was still there and it felt so fresh and soothing to my soul.

  I growled and hit the door with my paw. It opened to my surprise. I felt my heart race as I pushed it and peeked into the room. Everything had been removed from it, all my mother’s things were gone, all the food and the shelves. Nothing but the barren, cold stone floor was left.

  In the corner of the room, I saw her. She was sitting crumpled up with her head on her knees. It was the most enchanting sight to my eyes. Finally, I had found her. A sense of relief went through my hairy body. I stared at her while my heart was racing in my chest. Would she recognize me? Would she know who I was?

  Her small body seemed so weak, so wounded yet she glowed with a strange light. She lifted her head and her eyes gazed at me, but they didn’t smile. Neither did her mouth. I was so happy to finally have found her and felt an extreme love for her as I had done in the first seconds our eyes had met in the forest when we had first met. She stared at me and shook her head and I wondered if she was afraid, since she had never seen me as the wolf.

  “No ...” she said. “No.”

  I pushed my thoughts at her to let her know who I was. I threw pictures of Sami the human, the boy she had met in the forest and as she stared into my eyes I knew that she recognized me. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she reached out and touched me gently. Then she stared into my eyes.

  “I know you. I saw you in my dreams, while I was still in darkness,” she said. “I saw you searching for me. You gave me hope. Knowing you were looking for me filled me with hope and strength to endure.” She smiled gently and caressed me. Then her face grew weary and her eyes worried. She shook her head with a sigh. “You shouldn’t have come,” she whispered.

  “You really shouldn’t,” I heard a voice say behind me.

  Everything inside of me froze as I recognized the icy voice of Officer Alexandru. I turned my head and stared into his eyes. He was standing in the door, smiling widely.

  “We have been expecting you, Sami,” he said.

  I turned and stared at Catalina. “I couldn’t do anything,” she said crying. “They have wanted you all along. It was you they wanted. I led you right to them. I am so sorry.”

  I turned my body and let out a growl that echoed in the hallway. I wasn’t afraid of them. Now that I had Catalina there wasn’t anything they could do to harm me.

  “Now you’re probably thinking that you could just kill me, right?” Alexandru said with a grin. “Because you’re so strong that no bullets can harm you.” Then he pulled out a gun and stared at it in the dim light. “You’re right, except for the fact that I know a little something about your kind.” Alexandru leaned over and looked me directly in the eyes.

  I growled again loudly.

  “Unfortunately for you I happen to know the old myth about silver bullets is actually true,” he whispered. Then he leaned back and smiled again. “Who would have thought that old nonsense and superstitions turned out to be accurate, huh?”

  I stared at him with contempt yet backed up slightly remembering Caspian’s warnings about what could harm me.

  Alexandru looked at the gun, then looked at me again. “Besides you can’t hurt me,” he said. “I’m the only one who knows what happened to your parents.”

  I let out a huge growl that startled Alexandru. He pointed the gun at my head. “Shut up!” he said. “You are mine now and you will do as you are told.”

  The gun was shaking in his hands. He shook with a mixture of anger and fear. He was still scared of me.

  As I was of him.

  Chapter 34

  I was ordered into a small room and the door was locked behind me. I felt defeated and the anger that had been my strength for so long slowly left me. As dawn came I changed back. I lay on the cold floor as my wolf left me when suddenly I realized I wasn’t alone in the room. There was someone in the corner, laying crumpled up with his back turned at me. His body was shaking heavily. I stared at him and suddenly recognized him. I crept closer to be sure. The long white hair had grown thinner and so had his body which suddenly seemed very old.

  “Caspian?” I whispered.

  He turned his head and his almost white eyes stared at me with a strange look I hadn’t seen in them before. As he realized it was me he jumped further into the corner holding his hands up in front of his face. “Stay away from me Sami. Stay far away from me.”

  “But Caspian ... “

  He looked at me, then hissed. “Don’t come any closer.”

  “What happened to you?”

  His voice was hoarse and worn. “I’m sick, Sami. I am very sick. Don’t come close to me.”

  My heart started racing in my chest. “Sick? What do you mean you’re sick? You can’t get sick. You’re a wolf, like me. No diseases can bring us down!”

  His eyes stared at me. They flickered and it was like someone else was in them, like someone else was inside of Caspian’s body looking out. I didn’t recognize him, he was a different person. It scared me and I drew away from him. The almost manic eyes flickered back and forth. Then they changed again and he was back. Caspian’s eyes looked at me with desperation while he spoke.

  “Yes. There is one,” he said his voice trembling heavily. “There is one illness. The desire for the human flesh.”

  I exhaled. I didn’t understand. “I know about that. But that shouldn’t ... You’ve never ... have you?”

  He looked deeply into my eyes and I sensed the regret, the shame.

  “When? Why?” I asked both startled and anxious. “How?”

  Caspian turned his face away and sighed. “A few weeks before I bit you. I was sick from hunger after months of starvation. I hadn’t been able to find much to eat and it drove me out of the woods where I normally hunt in search of food. I came across a woman who had been killed recently. Her body was in a ditch next to the road. I think she had been shot by one of the soldiers. I don’t know what happened to her, but she had died shortly before I found her. Her body was still warm and it smelled heavenly. I stared at her and all that meat. Everything inside of me screamed that I shouldn’t do it, that it was wrong, and that it would end up killing me. But I was beyond reasoning. My flesh wanted it, my wolf desired it and it took over, it took complete control of my body and mind. So I sank my teeth into her soft skin and just like that it was all over. I had done the forbidden. I ate all of the meat and drank her blood and it gave me the rush of a lifetime. But it didn’t last long. By the next day my wolf wanted more, it demanded more human flesh. Soon I became a slave to it and it my master. Since that day I have craved the meat of the humans where ever I went, leaving nothing but death and devastation behind me. I have killed people, Sami. To satisfy my hunger I killed them in cold blood because I could no longer control myself. It had taken me over.”

  I backed up feeling confused. I stared at him in disbelief. “But ...

  Caspian shook his head heavily. His eyes avoided mine. “I didn’t want you to know this about me. I hid it from you. I knew it would kill me eventually or make me lose my mind. I was protecting Catalina when they came for her and her family. But my weakness, my addiction had slowed my senses. I should have gotten her out of there, but ... but I wasn’t there when they came. I had come upon a new grave and dug up the corpse to eat the meat. It was still fresh and filled with the intoxicating blood. That was how low I had come, feasting on corpses. Meanwhile Catalina and her family were being attacked. When I came back it was too late. I was devastated and cursed myself. It was my job to protect her while she was in this world. I had promised myself to never take my eyes of her. But I failed. Luckily she managed to escape on her own. While dwelling in my own self-condemnation and self-pity thinking I had lost her, I watched her escape from the house and run towards the forest. Determined to protect her I followed her as she met you and asked you to help her. When I saw you I knew you had wolf-blood
in you already. I could smell you from far away. I knew you would be able to carry on my legacy and protect Catalina. I didn’t trust myself any longer. You could take over when I was no longer myself. All I had to do was to bite you and pass it on. Once my salvia met your blood it would awake the wolf in you and make you turn. You were my savior. If I passed on the torch I could die in peace.” Caspian paused with a sigh.

  “So that was what happened when you killed that soldier and smelled his blood. That was why you froze?” I asked. “Because you wanted it badly?”

  “Yes. My entire being wanted that meat. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, walk away from that, to restrain my craving for the blood.” Caspian sighed again and looked at me with eyes of shame. “The dead people were also me.”

  “What dead people?” I asked.

  Caspian sighed deeply before he continued. “I followed you in the beginning wherever you went, protecting you and hoping you would try and look for Catalina. I was constantly looking to find the right moment to reveal myself for you and tell you the entire story. Tell you the awful truth about me and about the people you thought you had killed ... But I kept postponing it. Until I had to interfere, when you went into that house, maddened with hunger. That was when I had to step up before it was too late. Before you destroyed yourself.”

  “It was you?” I felt tears pilling up inside of me. I couldn’t believe this. All this time I had thought myself to be evil, I thought that I had ... that I had killed those people. Thought that I was eventually going to lose my mind to the cravings of the human flesh.

  Caspian nodded slowly. “The two soldiers and the woman you found, that was me. I didn’t kill her though, they did, and then you attacked them. You had heard her screams and then the gunshot. You ran towards the sound and ripped them up in anger for what they had done. But it was too late. The woman was already dead. I was the one who ate their flesh, not you. The man in the village where Camelia lives, that was me as well. He had seen you. He watched you walk towards Camelia’s house. You saw him too, stared directly into his face. I killed him, attacked him on my way back following you through the forest. I was sick,” he said. “I am sick. “

  “But ... but what does that mean? Do you have to die?”

  “The only way out is to starve my wolf. Deprive it of what it craves the most: human flesh. Either that or it will end up driving me mad. I haven’t eaten since they brought me here. They caught me right after you left me. I wasn’t careful. I was mad with hunger since I hadn’t had any human meat for days travelling with you. At first I tried to get as far away from the dead humans as possible, so I travelled for a day and a half but eventually I found myself back at the place where you had left me. Once again to satisfy my wolf’s desire so I ran towards where we had heard the shooting and where I could smell the blood of humans. I found maybe twenty bodies buried only by a thin layer of soil. I dragged out a few of them and started feasting, letting it sedate me and all of my senses. But I never got to eat much. I didn’t even hear them come. Suddenly a man with a gun carrying a silver bullet was behind me. He told me he knew who and what I was. At that moment I wanted him to shoot me, I wanted to die with my shame, but he spared my life for some reason and brought me here. I haven’t eaten since.”

  Caspian coughed weakly. I could see his bones underneath his pale skin. “I’m not going to either,” he continued. “This time I’m steadfast. I’d rather die than taste human blood again. It’s over. I don’t have much time before I’ll completely lose my mind, then if I don’t eat human flesh my body will slowly die. Until now there have been no temptations. Now that you are here I am afraid I might try and attack you. But as you see I am weak. You should be able to fight me off. You are still young and strong.”

  I exhaled deeply, then reached out to touch Caspian’s arm gently. He pulled away.

  “Don’t pity me,” he hissed. “I was weak, now I’m paying the price.”

  He stared into my eyes. His eyes were glassy, almost feverish. “Don’t ever be weak, Sami.” He reached out and grabbed my arm. It felt so feeble, his bones touched my skin. “Promise me you’ll never be weak.”

  I nodded slowly while looking into his eyes. “I promise,” I said.

  “Catalina will need you to protect her when I’m gone. You need to be strong for her.”

  “I will,” I said.

  “No matter what happens. You hear me? No matter what! Do you understand? I need you to understand this.” Caspian looked at me intently.

  I nodded. “Of course. You have my word,” I said.

  Caspian’s eyes were filled with relief. “You need to find the book,” he continued. “It will help you and guide you. I have to emphasize the importance of protecting it. Many a wolf would want to get their fingers on it. It contains power. Whoever possesses it will gain great abilities. Never let it fall into the wrong hands.”

  “I’ll do what I can. But where is it now?” I asked.

  Caspian coughed loudly. He spat blood on the floor. I gasped. He was really sick now. His manic eyes stared at me. They flickered in true desperation, for a second he was gone again, there seemed to be a battle going on inside of him, and then he returned to his own self.

  “I hid it,” he said. “When you left me I was afraid it would fall in the wrong hands. I didn’t trust myself with it. It belongs to you now so I hid it close to where you left me hoping you’d come back. I found a big oak tree and dug a hole. I marked it with ten rocks shaping a cross in the soil above.” Caspian grabbed my neck and held on to it. “When you get out of here you have to find it. Do you hear me? You have to find it.”

  That was when the door to the room was opened and two soldiers entered. Something was thrown on the floor. It was a pair of brown pants and a white shirt. It was my older brother Leon’s clothes. I felt tears in my eyes thinking of him and my family and what might have become of them.

  “Put this on,” one of the soldiers said to me. “The general wants to see you.”

  Caspian stared at me as I got dressed and was taken away.

  “Goodbye, Sami,” I heard his voice say just before I watched his eyes grow wild and manic again.

  Chapter 35

  I was sad to leave Caspian in the chamber all alone, but I had no choice. They still had Catalina and my parents, if they were still alive. Plus they knew how to kill me, so I had no choice but to obey their orders. For now.

  Following the soldiers down the hallway I began looking forward to meeting this general in person and maybe get some questions answered. I sniffed the hallway and caught Catalina’s scent. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that she was close, maybe even still in the storage room. Her scent was fresh so she had to be alive and close. I was overwhelmed with a strong feeling. I wasn’t going to give up. I was determined to get us out of here alive. I began plotting mine and Catalina’s escape, thinking I had an advantage since this was my childhood home. There were many places to hide and I knew more entrances and ways to get out. Maybe if I could somehow kill this general, then take out Alexandru then the rest would be easy. But could I just leave Caspian? Was that really what he wanted?

  “Move faster!” one soldier said and hit me in my back with a rifle. I growled and turned to look at him. I sensed my wolf’s presence strongly in me. It wouldn’t take many aggravations to make him appear in his full hairy form. My growl made the soldier back up with fear in his eyes. I knew the beast was evident in the blue iris of my eyes while I was in my human form.

  We stopped in front of a door, the same door that used to be my father’s study. The soldier in front knocked, then someone shouted “enter” and the door was opened. I felt a push on my back and I was thrown inside. The door was quickly closed behind me. I scanned the room and found my father’s beloved study completely ravaged. Books and belongings were thrown to the floor, the expensive carpet devastated with burns from cigarettes that had been extinguished under big boots. I growled again but this time felt worry rise in me, a worry
for my family and especially for my dear mother.

  Two figures stood by the window, their faces hard to discern in the bright light shining through the big window.

  “Where is my family?” I growled.

  The figures stared at me. Then one came closer. As he approached I recognized Officer Alexandru’s face. He was holding the gun with the silver bullet in his hand. “Hello, Sami,” he said with a wide smile. “So glad you could finally join us. This is General Mantin. He will be asking the questions here, not you.”

  “I demand to know what you have done to my family,” I growled again ignoring Alexandru.

  The other figure had started moving. I realized I could smell him. I was confused. He smelled like a wolf. I realized it had to have been him, I could smell from the forest. It made sense since I knew it couldn’t have been Caspian. I knew his smell very well, but this was new and very different. This was the stench of evil.

  He was coming closer now and suddenly I remembered where I had heard that name before. Caspian had mentioned a Mantin. The one who had turned his own flock against Caspian. The one who had urged them to eat human flesh. Mantin’s presence was strong, he was strong and powerful. He snarled as he walked towards me in long, sliding motions. Like a wolf approaching its prey.

  My heart started beating faster. That was how Alexandru knew about the silver bullet. Mantin had revealed that to him. But why? To be able to get to Caspian? To be able to get to me? Why?

  Mantin’s scarred face came close enough for me to look into his purple eyes. In the iris I saw his wolf. It was big and strong, waiting to come out and finish me off. He was an older wolf as well. Not as old as Caspian, but much older than me.

  “You’re right about that,” he said with a laugh.

  I gasped. I had forgotten that he was able to read my mind as well as I was with others. Well two can play at that, I thought and tried to pick his mind. Pictures of death and devastation filled my mind and left me breathless, almost hopeless. So much evil, so much destruction. It was too much and I pulled out. Mantin laughed as I did. “You’re nothing but a kid,” he said.