“But we barely know each other.”
“That may be true,” Joel said slowly. They knew each other even less than Anna thought, since she had no idea how big the secret side of him was. But he wasn’t going to back down now. He took a deep breath and continued. “But even though we don’t know each other well, I know the most important things: I know that my heart leaps in my chest every time I see you. I know that the sight of you is so beautiful that I find it hard to breathe when I look at you. And I know that it doesn’t matter who you are, what you want for the future, or what you’ve done in the past. All that matters is that my life won’t be complete without you.”
Anna’s eyes looked wet, and she blinked rapidly in an attempt to stave off the tears. Joel hoped those were happy tears, but he wasn’t quite sure. Whatever they were, it didn’t matter. All that mattered right now was that he had Anna here and he had a chance to talk to her. He was going to take that chance. He was going to show her who he really was, and trust that she was the woman deep down inside that he believed she was.
He was going to trust that when he showed her himself—all of him—she wouldn’t run in the other direction. He was going to trust that she would have an open mind and an open heart, and would still care for him even when she knew about the bear within him.
Taking one more deep breath to steady himself, Joel reached out for her hand. “Come with me. Give me a few hours to show you who I really am. I may not be the richest or smartest guy you’ve ever met, but I promise you I’m the most loyal and the fiercest. No one will ever love you like I will.”
Anna stared down at his hand, and for one awful, heartbreaking moment, Joel thought that she was going to refuse. But then, she nodded.
“Okay. But where are we going?”
Joel smiled. “You’ll see.”
He closed his fingers tightly around the hand that she placed in his, and led her back to his rental vehicle. When Anna saw the car, she started to laugh.
“A Prius? Really? Can you even fit in that thing?”
Joel groaned. “Barely. My knees are in the dash. But it was the only rental car available.”
Anna laughed harder. “You really weren’t kidding when you said you’d stop at nothing to come see me, were you?”
Joel grinned at her, happy that at least she found humor in the ridiculous rental car he’d been forced to drive. “I wasn’t kidding. Now get in. I have something to show you.”
Anna laughed again as she climbed into the passenger seat. Her laugh was the most musical thing that Joel had ever heard, and he hoped that she’d still be in a good mood once she saw what it was he had to show her. If she ran screaming in the other direction when she found out that shifters existed, she wouldn’t be the first human to do that. All Joel could do was hope that she was different from the average human.
As he drove toward a secluded area of the beach, he felt his nerves starting to get the best of him. He’d never been this worked up about something in his life. Then again, he’d never shown a full human his bear side before.
He’d been warned his entire life about the dangers of shifting in front of humans, but it didn’t matter how dangerous it might be. Anna was his lifemate, so she was worth risking everything. Joel just hoped that he wasn’t going to lose everything in this gamble.
Chapter Fifteen
“This is what you wanted to show me?” Anna asked as Joel pulled into the parking lot of the state park beach he’d found earlier. “Not to burst your bubble, but this is nothing new for me. I’ve been to this beach thousands of times.”
Joel looked over at her and smiled. She looked good in the light of the orange-pink winter sunset. But then, she looked good in any light. “It’s not the beach I want to show you. It’s something about myself. And this seemed like one of the quietest places in town, so hopefully we won’t be bothered here.”
Anna furrowed her brow. “It is pretty quiet, at least this time of year. In the summer, this place is packed until after sunset. But in the winter, with it getting dark so early, most people don’t bother coming out here. We should be pretty much alone.”
“Good,” Joel said as he opened his door and started to ease himself out of the too-small car. “Because what I have to show you isn’t something that most people can handle seeing.”
Anna said nothing further to that. She merely furrowed her brow and followed him as he walked toward the beach. Joel waited until they were well past view of the parking lot before he turned to Anna again to explain the secret he’d been holding from her.
“Have you ever heard of shifters?”
Anna’s confused look told him all he needed to know. Explaining this was going to be even harder than he’d thought.
“Shifters? No. What’s that?”
Joel took another deep breath and steadied himself. “Well, let me ask you this: have you ever heard of werewolves?”
Anna looked at him as though he had gone completely crazy. “Of course. Who hasn’t? But I hope you didn’t bring me out here just to tell me that you’re a fan of werewolf movies.”
“No, not exactly. But what I have to tell you might sound a little bit similar to werewolves to you. You see, a shifter is a human being who can change into an animal, just like a werewolf can. But there are some important differences. For one thing, as you’ve probably heard, werewolves are somewhat contagious. If you get bitten by a werewolf, you could turn into one. Shifting isn’t like that. Shifting is passed down genetically. Either you are a shifter, or you aren’t.”
“Okay,” Anna said slowly. “While I appreciate the lesson on fantastical creatures, I’m still not sure where you’re going with this.”
It was time to tell her the truth. Joel clenched his fingers into fists, and prayed that once he did she would still be willing to consider a life with him.
“Anna, I’m a bear shifter. I can change from a human being into a bear and back again at will.”
For the space of several heartbeats, Anna merely stared at him. Finally, she shrugged. “Okay, I’m stumped. What’s the punch line?”
“There is no punch line, because this isn’t a joke. It’s true. Shifters exist, and I’m one of them. I can change into a bear and back again. I know that probably sounds crazy to you, but it’s a fact. I’m taking a big leap of faith by trusting you enough to tell you this information, but it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me if I didn’t tell you this.”
“You’re crazy.” Anna was starting to look like she might actually run.
“I’m not crazy. And I can prove it. I can shift right now and show you, if you want to see. I understand if this is all too much for you to take in right now, but I’m telling you the truth.”
Anna was still looking at him like he’d lost his marbles. “Okay, fine. If you’re telling me the truth, then shift and prove it.”
Joel nodded, then took a step back and started taking his clothes off.
“What are you doing?” Anna asked. “I thought you said you were going to shift, not strip.”
“That is what I said. But when I shift, any clothes I’m wearing will be ruined. My bear form is much larger than my human form, and the force of shifting into that bear tears clothes to shreds.”
Anna didn’t say anything else. She did look at him skeptically, like she was wondering when this whole charade was going to be over. She had no idea what she was really about to see.
Joel quickly removed the last of his clothes before taking another step back from Anna. He took one long, last look at her, and sent up a silent prayer that she wouldn’t think he was a monster after seeing what she was about to see. Then, with a mighty roar, he let his inner bear take over.
He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his human skin thicken into tough bear skin. He kept his eyes closed as his legs and arms grew even more muscular and became covered with fur. His fingernails became sharp claws, and his teeth grew several sizes larger. His head was the last thing to t
ransform, and when he opened his eyes again, he was looking at Anna with the face of a bear instead of a human.
That bear was powerful and fierce, but Joel had never felt as vulnerable as he did right then. He looked at Anna, and his great bear heart twisted into a giant knot as he waited for her to respond. She stared at him in shock, and for several awful moments Joel thought she was going to turn and run.
But then, she took one tentative step forward. She waited, her eyes looking somewhat fearful, as though she expected him to turn ferocious and attack her at any second. When he didn’t attack, she grew bolder. She took another step forward, and then another, until she stood inches away from his giant bear face. He didn’t move, not wanting to scare her.
Finally, she reached up and put a hand on his head. She held that hand there for a moment, perfectly still, and then she began to stroke his fur. She looked at him with wonder in her eyes, and the fear slowly seeped away from her expression.
“I knew there was something different about you,” she murmured. “But I never would have guessed that this was it.”
Joel felt his heart slowly twisting out of the nervous knots it had been in. Was this really happening? Was it really true that he had shown himself fully to Anna, and she was accepting him for who he was? Joel had wanted to believe that fate would not destine him for a woman who would not accept his bear side. But still, he had worried. His whole life, he’d been warned of the dangers of showing a full human his bear side. It was hard to undo decades of fear, but he’d figured that if anything was worth taking a risk for, it was true mate love. And now, he knew: true mate love was exactly what he’d found.
For several minutes, he stood there, letting Anna take in his bear form. She walked around him slowly, studying him from every angle. She stroked his fur, and ran her hand along the strong muscles of his back. She let out a long, low whistle as she walked in a full circle around him again, taking him in. Finally, she came back to stand in front of his face.
She gave him a small smile, and then said, “You really weren’t kidding, were you? Shifters do actually exist.”
That was when Joel decided it was time to shift back. He took several steps backward from Anna so that the force of his shifting wouldn’t harm her. Then, with a mighty roar, he subdued his inner bear and let his human side take over once again. When he was back in human form, Anna didn’t say anything for a moment. Joel began to get dressed, to give her time to process everything. Once he was fully dressed, he turned to look at her.
“Well?” he said. He wasn’t sure what else to ask her, and he figured that that simple question about covered it.
Anna shook her head in wonder. “You really weren’t kidding,” she said again.
“I wasn’t kidding. I’m sorry I didn’t show you sooner, but I have to be careful. Most humans can’t accept the fact that shifters exist. They think we’re monsters, and that we need to be contained like wild animals.”
“I don’t think you’re a monster,” Anna said softly. “I think you’re incredible.”
Joel’s heart leapt at her words. He felt the worry that had plagued his heart washing away, as though the waves of the nearby ocean were sweeping his cares out to sea. Anna’s words gave him the courage to say the next thing he needed to say.
“Now that you know that I’m a shifter, there’s something else about shifters you should know.”
Anna cocked her head sideways. “There’s more?”
“Yes, there’s more. But don’t worry, it’s nothing quite as shocking as the initial revelation that shifters exist.”
Anna looked relieved. “That’s good, because I can’t imagine what would be more shocking than that.”
Joel managed a chuckle. “I know this is all a lot to dump on you at once. But the thing is, we shifters believe in what we call lifemates. It’s similar to the human concept of a soul mate.”
A flicker of recognition flashed in Anna’s eyes. “Is this what you were trying to explain to me on the summit of the mountain?”
Joel nodded. “Yes, but it was hard to explain without first explaining that I’m a shifter. From what I can tell, the idea of lifemates is a uniquely shifter concept. The human soul mate isn’t quite the same.”
“How are they different?” Anna asked.
“The idea of lifemates is much more serious than the idea of soul mates. We shifters believe that from the moment of birth, we are destined to be with our lifemate. From the first breaths we take, destiny is working to bring our lifemate across our path. When we find that lifemate, there is usually an instant attraction.”
Anna frowned at him. “You didn’t seem like you were instantly attracted to me. You seemed more like you wanted me to get off the mountain.”
Joel laughed. “I did want you to get off the mountain. There was a blizzard coming, and the mountain is a dangerous place in the middle of a blizzard. But just because I wanted you to get off the mountain doesn’t mean I wasn’t attracted to you. In fact, I have to admit that being attracted to you might have been one of the biggest reasons that I wanted you off the mountain. I didn’t want to admit to myself that a full human might be my lifemate.”
“What’s wrong with humans?” Anna asked. Joel had been worried about whether she would accept him as a shifter, but right now, she almost seemed worried that he wouldn’t accept her as a human.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a full human. But I’ve spent my life being warned that full humans would never accept shifters. I didn’t think it was possible that you could be my lifemate, because I didn’t think it was possible that a full human would accept me.” Joel looked at her with vulnerability in his eyes. “I’m still not sure it’s possible.”
Anna smiled at him, a slow, full smile that melted his heart. “It is possible. I have to admit that this is all a little crazy, but knowing that you’re a shifter doesn’t make me like you less. In fact, I think it makes me like you more. I’m fascinated by all of this.”
Joel reached out and took her hand. “I can’t tell you how much good it does my heart to hear that. I should have had more faith at the beginning that destiny wouldn’t assign me to a lifemate who would reject me. But, like I said, a lifetime of hearing about the dangers of humans was hard to unlearn. In any case, I did feel attracted to you when I first saw you. But it wasn’t until I slept with you that I truly knew that you were my lifemate.”
“Was the sex that good?” Anna joked.
Joel smiled. “Well, it was good. In fact, it was incredible. But the reason I knew is that when a shifter first sleeps with his fated lifemate, something known as the lifemate bond is formed. You can feel it as a fiery heat within you when you first mate with your lifemate. I felt that with you. There was no denying it. From the moment I was born, I’ve been meant for you, and you’ve been meant for me.”
“Lifemates,” Anna said slowly, as though trying out the word.
“Lifemates, Joel confirmed. “And that lifemate bond is unbreakable. That’s why I came after you. It’s why I never should have let you go in the first place. No matter what I do, no matter where I go in life, there will never be anyone else for me but you. My heart will always belong to you. I know that it might sound crazy that I want to spend the rest of my life with you when I’ve barely met you. But the lifemate bond is why. I knew the moment I slept with you that you’re the one I’ve been searching for my whole life.”
Anna looked at him with wide eyes. “I felt that heat when we made love, too. I had no idea that it was the lifemate bond, but I felt it. And ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I tried to tell myself that things would never work out between us, and that I couldn’t leave my life here behind. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Now I know why.”
Joel closed his eyes for a moment, relishing Anna’s words. When he opened his eyes again, he smiled down at her. “That heat was definitely the lifemate bond. I wasn’t sure if humans would feel it too, but I guess you did. And
maybe all of this doesn’t sound so crazy to you, after all. All I know is that I cannot live a day without you. I hope that you’ll go back to the mountain with me, but if you won’t, I’ll stay here. Even though a part of my heart does belong to the mountain, a bigger part of my heart belongs to you. Say you’ll stay with me forever. Say you’ll be mine, Anna. I’ve never wanted anything this badly in my entire life, and I’ve never been so determined to fight for anything in my life either.”
Joel watched as Anna’s eyes filled with tears once again. “I would love to go with you. But what will I do on the mountain? And how will I leave my students here behind.”
“We need good teachers on the mountain, too. There are a lot of kids there, and not enough teachers. The teachers we do have are teaching double what they should be, and they could really use some help. I’m sure there’d be a place for you in the school there. As for your current students, well, I understand that you don’t want to leave them hanging. If you need to finish out the school year, then I’ll wait for you. But it’ll kill me to do so.”
Anna considered all of this. Then she nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll come with you. But I think I should finish out the year. The principal hates me, and has been trying to fire me anyway. I’m sure he’d be happy if I just left, but I don’t want to do that to my students. Finishing out the year with them is the right thing to do.”
Joel nodded. He didn’t like the idea of waiting until May or June for Anna to move to Bear Mountain. But when he thought about those few months compared to the rest of his life, it really wasn’t that much time. Besides, if Anna was moving in with him, then he really needed to finish that cabin remodel. The cabin would be much more comfortable for the two of them with more space, and he hoped that it wouldn’t be long before there would be three or maybe four of them. He could hardly wait to have cubs of his own running around his yard.
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