by Kat Cotton
I tried to smile. “Sorry, Larry,” I said.
“Sweetie,” he said, his drawling voice stretching the word out. “Jayne, I know what you’re trying but what I don’t know is why. We’ve had a few agents on this case in the past and this, ah, troupe or whatever you call them have, I don’t know what, some kind of charisma or some shit. Top officers have had their heads turned, coming back with nothing but praise for these weirdos. You’re the most level-headed officer I have. No one is more by the book than you.”
Larry didn’t know half of it. The “book” was my bible. I loved rules like a baby loves their mother’s milk. I’d been living in regular society for the last ten years but I still felt like a chameleon and, without a solid set of rules, that facade could easily slip.
“Look at the file on these guys,” he said. “Go on, take another look. We’ve had an eye on this... troupe for a long time. They did shows at a festival in Bundaberg and two bodies turned up in the cane fields, cause of death unknown. A month later, in Adelaide, more deaths and disappearances. One little girl found a while later with her brain all scrambled. Bendigo. Hobart. A trail of death and destruction wherever they go. This goes back to the time they first formed. We need information. We need hard evidence.”
He gave me that stare.
I’d justify myself no more. I’d said all I could and my mouth turned to cotton.
“No matter which way you cut it,” he said. “You have an almost preternatural ability on cases like this, the weird ones.”
I nodded. I got that.
“You know why you’re part of this unit, while all the graduates from your year are still proving their worth?” he asked. He sat back now, folding his arms.
“Because I didn’t dick around drinking and partying during training,” I said.
I’d never once in my life dicked around drinking and partying.
“Because you’re good, Jayne. You’re really good. You don’t let emotion get in the way. We need a straight thinker in there.”
“I’m just not sure I can do it,” I said.
“You’re not going in to investigate the troupe member’s death. None of the deaths. You’ll be there to get intel on the troupe members. The slippery buggers have evaded all our efforts to trace them. Get that intel and feed it back to us.”
He gave me that smile that said he expected me to say yes. I didn’t.
“You said I could refuse this case.”
“That’s your final word on it?”
I nodded.
He shook his head, started to talk then thought better .Nothing he could say would persuade me.
“Take the rest of the day off. You’re not going to be popular around here when the guys find out about this and maybe, with a bit of time to think, you might find some reasons to take this case.”
“But I’ve got to—”
“What? Catch up on your filing? You know it’s been quiet as hell. Any of those guys would jump at a juicy case like this and the chance of a promotion. It’s just a pity none of them would look good in spangles and feathers.”
“Akira would.” I hoped that would lighten the mood.
Larry just gave a wry laugh.
“Take the case file with you when you go,” he said. “You might want to give it another read before refusing it. There are a lot of innocent lives at stake.”
“We’re going for drinks after work,” Akira called to me as I came out of Larry’s office. “You want to join us?’
A couple of the guys laughed as I shook my head. Then they went back to throwing a stress ball to each other.
“I’ve got things to do,” I said. “Maybe next time.”
“Why do you bother asking her?” George asked. “Has she ever said yes one time since she started here? Jayne doesn’t socialize with us plebs.”
Of course I didn’t. I didn’t make friends at work. I didn’t socialize with my workmates and I sure as hell didn’t drink with them and let my guard down.
But I gave Akira an apologetic smile. Even if I always said no, it was nice to be asked. One day he’d stop asking and, on that day, it’d be like another little piece of me had slipped away.
Chapter 7
AS SAD AS IT SOUNDED, I didn’t like unscheduled holidays. What did people do when they didn’t work? I couldn’t head to the gym this early and I hated shopping and movies. I could go home and clean.
On the off chance, I messaged Buzz. I hadn’t caught up with him in a long time.
Before I got home, he replied saying he had the day free. Since he mainly worked nights, that wasn’t too big a coincidence. I kept on driving past my place and headed to Buzz’s.
Walking into his house brought back a flood of memories. It’d been way too long since I’d visited him. This had been the only place I’d ever called home. The caravan I’d grown up in sure had never been and even though I’d had my own place for a few years it was just somewhere I slept and ate.
“I’ve made some lunch,” Buzz said.
“Yeah, I can smell it,” I said with a smile.
I walked into the kitchen and opened the lid on the saucepan. A thick, hearty soup. Just what I needed today, comfort food. No one made soup like Buzz did.
I grabbed a spoon so I could sample it.
“Don’t even think of picking at that before I serve it up,” Buzz said.
I grinned to myself. Somehow it felt good to have one person in this world who knew all my bad habits and could tease me about them.
I shoveled in two bowlfuls of that soup before even talking. With a few thick slices of bread on the side.
After we’d eaten, I handed Buzz the file to look through. Technically, I shouldn’t have. Privacy laws and all that. Even though Buzz was a cop too, he worked in a whole different world to the one I did. We didn’t share information. But Buzz would have insights that no one else would.
He took his time reading through the file.
“You’re working on this.”
“I said no.”
He gave me a searching look. “That wouldn’t have gone down well.”
“That’s why I have the day off. But I can’t. You know why.”
I’d never worked out what Buzz was, other than a cop and my foster dad. He understood all about my powers and things that other people dismissed as stupid fantasies. He’d seemed to know what I was before I’d even told him, like he’d been searching for me.
Living with Buzz, I’d had a normal life for the first time ever. I’d gone to a regular high school, scraping by as best I could. I’d been settled for the first time in my life.
When it came to the “what do I want to do with the rest of my life?” question, I had one answer. I wanted to be a cop. Like Buzz.
It’d been Buzz who’d suggested I go for the federal police not state.
“The cases are more interesting,” he said. “State borders can be frustrating.”
I think he’d been working on a case where the perp had fled to Queensland at the time. It’d annoyed the hell out of him.
So, I’d applied for the Federal police and got in. And things had gone well until now.
“What do you think?” I asked Buzz after he’d looked at the file.
He shrugged.
His close-cropped hair had now turned almost completely silver and there were more lines around his eyes than I remembered. I really should make more of an effort to spend time with him. We were the only family we each had. Buzz’s wife and daughter had died in a car crash years before. He’d never told me about it but I’d seen it when I first came to his house, the vision coming to me so strong I almost cried. I made sure I never touched anything that had belonged to either of them after that.
“It’s not for me to say,” he said. “You know the risks.”
“Exactly. I’ve made the right decision.” I folded my arms and sat back.
“There aren’t many people who could take on a case like this without putting themselves at great risk. Not many cops
have the skills you do. Any other officer is going to be putting their life on the line.”
“I’ve got a lot at risk too.”
I didn’t look up but grabbed another slice of bread from the plate, breaking off a small corner. Maybe I had more at risk than anyone else.
“If your mind’s made up, why did you show me the file?” Buzz asked.
I shrugged. Damn him. Why had I? Maybe I needed some confirmation that I I’d made the right decision. I sure didn’t want convincing to take it.
“You carry a huge burden of guilt,” Buzz said. “I’m not sure if that guilt is deserved but maybe a case like this would make you feel like you’d atoned in a way.”
I still didn’t look up. I picked at more of that bread. Why had I even asked Buzz about this?
“I don’t need to atone.”
“You don’t. I’m sure, if you did something bad, you had your reasons and you were just a kid. But it’s there and it’s pressing on you.”
There’d be no atoning, no redemption. Not for me.
“I’m fine.”
Buzz snorted. “So, tell me about your relationships? Boyfriend, partner, friends even?”
“Don’t need them. And you know why I can’t get close to people. If they find out what I am, it’d be too dangerous.”
Buzz got up and gathered our dishes.
“Is that the truth or just what you tell yourself? It’s a handy excuse to push people away.”
“I had a boyfriend,” I said. I followed him into the kitchen.
“In high school. For a week.”
“That was enough.”
There’d been a few guys since then but none that I’d tell Buzz about. They’d been convenient at the time but not the types I’d exchange phone numbers with. I wasn’t exactly a nun but it’d been a while.
We stacked the dishwasher and I checked the fridge for ice cream.
“Vanilla?” I said, getting out the container. “Is that it?”
Buzz laughed. “If I’d known you were coming over, I’d have gotten something special.”
I grinned back at him. “Vanilla will do.”
We talked about work for a while but I slipped that file back in my bag and didn’t mention it again. Buzz had the night off but I had to get to my gym class.
By the time I’d left Buzz’s place, it was dark. Way too late to accept the circus job now anyway even if I wanted to. The deadline had passed.
Chapter 8
I LEFT BUZZ’S AND HEADED straight to gym class. Not boxing this time but a circuit class. Pushing my body to its limits helped get all those horrible, niggly thoughts out of my head. It was only after I’d showered and got to lounging on the sofa with some Netflix that those thoughts came back.
I’d have a hard week ahead of me at work. If you didn’t take one for the team, the team wasn’t shy about letting you know you’d let them down. I knew the drill. Silences and snide remarks. It’d only last a week or so, though. Then they’d move on to something or someone else.
The guys weren’t particularly bitchy, it’s just that they were team players all the way to the bone, honed by years of sports and male bonding. For me, being a team player was a thin veneer of social camouflage. The only sport I’d ever done was gymnastics and the only bonding I did was with ice cream.
What worried me more was what Buzz had said - if I didn’t do this, the case would be given to someone who didn’t have the skills to handle it.
No amount of police training could prepare you for coming face-to-face with a demon. Any hesitation, any deer in the headlights, ‘what the fuck is this’ moment could mean a hideous death. I guess that made me a big ball of selfishness for refusing but I couldn’t look out for every single person on the force.
I went to the kitchen and opened the freezer. Since Buzz only had vanilla ice cream today, I deserved something more special. Cookies and cream. That’d ease my worries.
As I bent down to get the container, my skin prickled. It was just the chilled air nothing more. I stood up and reached for a spoon. Soon I’d escape into my cookies and cream happy place.
That prickling sensation wasn’t going away, though. I swung around, telling myself I was being stupid. My house was a fortress. No one could get in.
Before I’d fully turned, a hand clamped over my mouth.
My heart pounded and I froze as something gross pressed against my back.
Fuck!
I screamed, the sound stifled by that hand, all cold and slimy like some kind of gunk covered it.
This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t happen. The air around me buzzed as panic rose in my chest. A demon had entered my home, my fortress. This was supposed to be my safe place.
I clawed at that hand, trying to loosen the grip but all I got was slimy muck under my nails. The creature growled, low and threateningly near my ear.
I inhaled, trying to calm the thoughts racing through my head.
The cold, sliminess pushed hard against my back and that fetid breath blew hot against my ear. Breath that reeked of sulfur and death and garlic.
I rammed my fist into his arm, trying to break his hold. Shit. He just grabbed me all the tighter and his other arm wrapped around my waist, restraining me.
What did he want? Did he plan to kill me? Toy with me?
This bastard sure as hell would not be having its way with me. Even with my arms restrained, I had to use what I could.
I threw my head back, hoping to smash it into the beast. But nothing. Not even a thud or a whimper. My head just kind of sunk into him.
I shut my eyes, trying to think. There had to be a way to shake it off.
He could not be here. It was against the rules. I didn’t think arguing rules with this beast would work though.
He removed his hand from my mouth for a moment. I twisted free and bolted for the door.
For a few seconds.
Then he grabbed me again.
Red hot pain shot down my arm as his claws sunk into my skin.
I screamed even though there was no one to hear me. No one to rescue me. Even if there was, I had to handle this myself. A well-meaning neighbor would just make things worse.
A voice whispered in my head telling me I could do this. I could defeat him easy. I had the power. I just had to reach for it.
The thought tempted me. Give in, send this bastard back to whatever hell he’d come from.
The beast slammed me into the cupboards, pressing his body into mine so that I couldn’t move. I reached out as best I could, hoping I’d left a knife sitting around.
Wishful thinking. I never left knives sitting around.
Would a knife even kill this thing?
The beast dragged me by the arms toward the door. I resisted, making myself a dead weight. Once he got me out of the house, who knew what he’d do with me. Dragging me rather than killing me suggested he was a flunky, not working for himself. That made it more imperative that I didn’t let him take me from my house. I could fight this dude but his boss had to be a whole lot stronger.
I thrashed my body around, hoping to loosen his grip. He grabbed me by the hair. Pain rushed through my body where he pulled but at least he’d left my arms free. This demon was no genius, just strong and rough.
I planted my feet, making it harder for him to move me, then I linked my hands together and slammed them into his arm, breaking his hold on me. The pull on my hair as I did that brought tears to my eyes but I quickly wiped them and looked around for a weapon.
I ran to find one, the demon grabbing for me the whole time. I got a couple more scratches on my arms but nothing like the first ones.
Knifes, where the hell were my knives? I was too damn neat. Before I could get to the knife drawer, I saw the salt pig. Salt. Salt worked on demons, that knowledge shot from the recesses of my brain.
I grabbed the pig and spun around, flinging the contents at the demon.
He roared.
Well anyone would roar with a face full of sa
lt. If it didn’t wipe him out, he’d end up twice as furious, though.
I needed something more just to be on the safe side. I wasn’t sure if salt killed demons or just slowed them down.
I reached up and grabbed one of my hex bags from the curtain rod. Did those things even work? Nothing else I had around the house harmed him.
I stuffed the bag in the bastard’s mouth. If it didn’t kill him, it’d at least make his breath better.
The demon roared again.
Then he sizzled.
Then he dissolved into a pile of mush on the tiles.
Yes. I’d won.
But, gross. That mush would take forever to clean up. Salt mixed in with the mush too. I sighed and went to get the mop.
Before I went to bed that night, I did a circuit of the house. Every sigil appeared intact. Every hex bag I’d hung around the doors and windows remained in place. How the hell had that beast gotten inside? And if he’d gotten in, others could too.
It took a lot to scare me but the thought that all those protections I’d used to hold the darkness away no longer worked scared the hell out of me.
I couldn’t sleep. Not with the knowledge that something else could attack. I sat bolt upright in bed, just waiting. A few times I almost got to sleep when a slight noise had me awake and ready to fight.
I checked the time. I’d get no sleep tonight.
Buzz would’ve knocked off work and wouldn’t be asleep yet. I called him.
“I don’t want to explain but can I stay over at your place tonight?” I asked.
Chapter 9
THE WHOLE STORY CAME out. Buzz knew me well enough to figure I wasn’t easily spooked.
“I don’t understand,” I said. “I’ve got as much protection as I know on my house. I need to study more. I must be missing something.”
Buzz left the room and came back with an armful of books. I don’t know where he’d stored them. I’d never seen them around the house before. He set them down on the coffee table and I picked the first one off the pile.