by Davis Ashura
Serena sensed an old argument brewing. “Can we skip to the part of how you met?”
“Of course.” Rukh cleared his throat. “I was on my first Trial. We were attacked by the forces of the Sorrow Bringer—the Chimeras—and my caravan was destroyed. Somehow I obtained Talents that didn’t belong to Caste Kumma.” William opened his mouth, a question on his face, but Rukh cut him off. “That’s too long of a story,” he said. “Those of us who survived the attack tracked down the Chimeras, and discovered two miracles. First, we learned that the Chimera commanders, the Baels, hated Suwraith and actively opposed Her will. They sought to protect Humanity. I was about to speak to the commander, Li-Dirge—”
“I liked Li-Dirge,” Jessira said. “He had a calm presence about him, almost like Travail.”
“Yes, he did,” Rukh agreed.
“What was the second miracle?” Serena asked.
“I found Jessira,” Rukh answered. “The love of my life.”
William and Jake groaned in disgust.
Rukh grinned. “Actually, I captured her and was about to kill her.”
William seemed to sit up straight at the steering wheel. “Seriously?”
“Of course,” Rukh said. “Jessira’s features immediately told me what she was: the child of two Castes, a naaja, an abomination. Based on everything I was taught, she should never have been born, and I was expected to kill her for being alive.”
Serena viewed Jessira sidelong, wondering at her thoughts and if this was true.
Her features remained steady and unwavering. “It’s all true,” Jessira said, “and since I’m here, Rukh obviously let me live.”
“Suwraith attacked us right after all these discoveries,” Rukh said, “but we managed to escape Her wrath, although Jessira was injured.”
“There was a lot of running, hiding, and fighting after that, but in the end—” Jessira said.
“In the end, I was banished from Ashoka because of Jessira.”
“That wasn’t my fault,” Jessira protested.
“No, it wasn’t,” Rukh agreed. “It was mine. I was an idiot to think I could bring you home and not be judged.”
“It wasn’t bringing me home that brought about your downfall,” Jessira said. “It was the dinner we had. You shouldn’t have taken me to Dryad Park.”
Rukh smiled ruefully. “I suppose not, but I’m glad I did.”
Part of Serena couldn’t wrap her mind around the depth of Rukh and Jessira’s obvious love for one another and another part wanted it for herself. She studied William and wondered if there would ever come a time when a looming crisis didn’t take all their attention. So far they’d become good friends, but nothing more. Maybe someday that would change.
“At any rate,” Rukh continued, “since I had no home, I followed Jessira to hers.” He spoke on, describing a severe injury he’d suffered struggling to reach Jessira’s home, the mountain city of Stronghold, and winning some fighting tournament.
By the time he finished, they’d passed out of West Virginia, rambled into Ohio. There, they had to stop for gas in an area of farms and fallow fields. The wind bit through their coats when they stepped outside the vehicle to stretch their legs.
“I’ll pump the gas,” Serena offered William, “if you get me something to drink.”
William grinned. “Consider it done.”
Jake stepped out of the car as well. “What are you two lovebirds talking about?”
Serena glanced his way, and a sly thought crossed her mind. She returned her attention to William and offered him a lazy, inviting smile as well as a wink. “We were talking about that song we heard the last time we were in the Far Beyond.” She gazed into William’s eyes and laced her arms around his neck. “You know, the one by Kevin Raleigh. ‘Moonlight on Water.’ There was a line in there about sex on the beach.”
Jake groaned. “Get a room.” He clambered back into the car.
Serena and William laughed.
“That was mean,” William said.
Serena crinkled her nose. “Weren’t you supposed to be getting me something to drink?”
William doffed an imaginary hat and went inside the gas station.
Minutes later, they got back on the road. This time Rukh let Serena have the front seat, and they traveled through Ohio’s rolling hills and farms. Not many cars were out. They had the state highway to themselves and made quick time, passing an endless series of small convenience stores, gas stations, and restaurants. Soon thereafter, they began started seeing signs for Cincinnati.
Serena’s heart thudded. Only an hour to go to meet the Ridleys. Lord help me.
William glanced in the rear-view mirror when Rukh spoke up in complaint. “What is this disgusting music?”
“It’s not music,” Serena said. “It’s noise set to a beat.”
Temptation stirred inside William. If it’s too loud, you’re too old. He wanted to crank up the radio, which had been blaring “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica. Instead he turned the sound down.
“Killjoys,” Jake muttered. “That was a great song.”
William privately agreed. He’d never heard the song before, but he loved it. It reminded him of gunshots and something dark and terrifying. Badass music at its best. In fact, he’d never heard of Metallica either, and he made a mental note to look them up if they had a chance to hit a record shop during this visit to Jake’s family.
They rolled on and soon reached Cincinnati’s outskirts. William took I-275 toward Jake’s home, driving in the cloudy gloom of a typical Midwestern winter’s day of gray sky meeting gray pavement. A drizzly rain fell, and a river of headlights reflected off the wet concrete.
“I take it back about moving home full-time,” Jake said. “Maybe I can spend winters in Arylyn.”
“Amen to that,” William said, even while he hoped Jake would find a way to make peace with the life he had.
“This weather reminds me of Sinskrill,” Serena said.
William flicked his gaze toward her. “Which is one of many reasons we’ll never miss that shitty island.”
Serena might have said something, but William wasn’t listening any more. The coolest tagline in all of radio, The Lunatic Fringe of American FM, had come on, followed by a song with an infectious guitar hook.
“Turn that up,” Jake said.
“You ever hear this before?” William asked him.
“No,” Jake said. “Now shut up. I want to listen.”
William turned up the sound to a song called “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by some band named Guns N’ Roses.
William heard Rukh mumble something about noise again but paid him no attention. No chance he was going to turn this song down.
A few minutes later “Let the Day Begin” by the Call came on and William found himself wondering how much great music he must have missed during his time on Arylyn.
They eventually reached their exit and were soon driving along suburban streets lined with shopping centers, fast food restaurants, and gas stations. William hummed along to the songs that came over the radio, all but the last one. “She Drives Me Crazy” had him glancing at Serena and thinking about her as the song played.
It ended at around the same time they reached Jake’s house. He keyed off the engine and stepped out of the car, into a quiet neighborhood of elegant mansions.
“You did grow up rich,” Serena told Jake.
“I know,” Jake said, sounding smug. He led the way to the porch where he rang the doorbell once before unlocking the door and letting them all in.
William noticed Serena hanging back. She wore an unhappy, uncertain expression, possibly even anxious, all of which were atypical for her.
“Come on,” he said, tugging her inside.
They found themselves in a two-story foyer with a massive chandelier.
Mr. Ridley, a big, balding man who looked like an older, heavier version of Jake, came out from a second floor hallway, crossed a catwalk ending at the stairs, an
d trundled down to meet them. “Jake. William,” he said, a happy grin plastered on his face as he enveloped his son in a hug and shook hands with William. “Come on in,” he said to all of them. “We’ll sort out your coats and everything later.”
He directed them to a large, open kitchen with oak cabinets, blue-tiled counters, and a double oven. Mrs. Ridley waited behind a large island. She had hot turkey sandwiches and tomato soup ready. Jake’s brother, Johnny, sat on a leather sectional couch in the family room, watching a basketball game on a large-screen TV. He reminded William of a slightly-built, more bookish version of his father and brother. Mrs. Ridley stepped around the counter with a grin every bit as broad as Mr. Ridley’s and hugged Jake and William. Her once-blonde hair had gone gray and laugh lines nested at the corners of her eyes, but she retained much of the beauty she must have had when she’d been young.
“Hey, Johnny,” Jake called out to his brother.
“Hi, Jake,” Johnny said with a shy smile, his eyes flicking to the others standing in the kitchen. “I’d come over and give you a hug, but today’s a bad day.” He gestured to his legs, which were shackled in braces, and the wheelchair resting against the couch. Johnny had some kind of muscular disease that waxed and waned. Last year he’d been able to hobble around without crutches but during the past few months things had gotten worse again. He now needed a wheelchair to get around.
“Those bad days are part of why I’ve brought my friends with me,” Jake said.
Johnny viewed the others in interest.
“Who are your friends?” asked Mr. Ridley.
“This is Rukh and Jessira,” Jake said. “They’re the ones I told you about. The ones who might be able to help Johnny.”
“It’s a pleasure meeting you,” Mr. Ridley said with a broad smile. He shook hands with Rukh and Jessira, as did Mrs. Ridley.
Jake moved to stand next to Serena. He put an arm around her shoulders. “And this is Serena.” He inhaled deeply, and his words tumbled out. “Before you say anything, you should know that I think of her as a friend.” He gave Serena’s shoulders a brief squeeze.
William appreciated Jake’s gesture, but he doubted it would be enough. He winced when an instant later he was proven right. Mr. and Mrs. Ridley’s eyes hardened and their faces became flat and uninviting.
William’s heart sank. Serena’s intentions in coming here had been good, but intentions didn’t count for much, not after what she’d done. He figured there might never be a way back from that. She should have stayed on Arylyn. But he’d do what he could to help her out. “She’s my friend, too,” he said, moving to stand at Serena’s other side.
“A good friend,” Jake added.
William caught Serena’s grateful smile. She faced Jake’s parents once again. “Mr. and Mrs. Ridley, I know I’ve done something unforgivable to the two of you . . .”
“Yes, you did,” Mr. Ridley growled.
Serena nodded acceptance. “I came here to tell you how sorry I am for all the pain I put you through.”
“You should be,” Mrs. Ridley said. Her features remained unfriendly. “Jake and William have spoken up on your behalf, but it isn’t enough, not for me.”
The angry, red-eyed beast that William couldn’t seem to get rid of uttered a soft growl. Not now. He couldn’t let the anger take over.
He imagined sailing Blue Sky Dreamers, the wind blowing in his hair, the spray on his face, and the sun beaming down on a perfect day. He gave a mental sigh of relief when the beast went silent.
In the meanwhile, Serena’s face had gone drone-unreadable. “I understand.”
Mr. Ridley scoffed at Serena. “I seriously doubt you understand anything about what you put us through.” He held up a hand, forestalling any further words. “One day maybe we can forgive you, but we’ll never forget what you did. You should leave.”
William’s heart ached for Serena, but he also understood the Ridleys’ response. He’d expected it, in fact. Once more the red-eyed beast rumbled, and again William took a moment to imagine something calming. This time Meldencreche, the dwarven village.
“Mom. Dad,” Jake complained.
“It’s fine,” Serena said. Her voice and face still held a flat affect, but William could sense her embarrassment, her humiliation. “I’ll wait outside.”
“I’ll take you to a hotel,” William said. “I know a nice one pretty close by.”
FULFILLING HOPES
January 1990
* * *
William walked with Serena to the T-bird, uncertain what to say after the humiliation inside, and he remained quiet as he unlocked the car and waited for Serena to settle into the passenger seat. He got them going.
“I’m sorry,” he said as they pulled out of Jake’s driveway.
“Don’t be,” she replied, facing him with a tight-lipped smile. “I expected it. If I were in their shoes, I’d probably react the same way. I’d never forgive someone who hurt Selene.”
William had no response to that, and they drove in quiet. He waited to make a right-hand turn onto Compton Road and scowled when a little, old lady in a Cadillac trudged along. She traveled fast enough so he couldn’t pull out in front of her but so slow that it felt like an eternity before she reached them. She finally passed, and he slipped in behind her car, quickly swung into the left-hand lane, and gunned ahead of her. He glanced at Serena. “If you expected their reaction, why’d you come?”
She shrugged. “I had to do it. It’s not something I could avoid.” Once again she offered him a tight-lipped smile. “It was part of my New Year’s resolutions.”
William recalled a joke, and he smiled at the memory. “You know what they say about New Year’s resolutions?”
Serena shook her head. “No. What?”
“They’re made in one year and out the other.” He grinned.
Serena smiled faintly. “That was a horrible pun.”
“But it got you to smile,” William said.
“You’re an idiot,” Serena said with a chuckle, affection in her voice.
William shrugged. “It’s how I’m made. Besides, you like me this way.”
“Or maybe you just grow on a girl.” A beat later. “Like a fungus.”
William laughed. “You stole that line from Jake. He’s always saying things like that.”
“Sometimes even simpletons have wisdom.”
William arched his eyebrows. “Jake’s a simpleton? Better not let his parents hear you say that.”
Serena’s face went drone-flat and William mentally kicked himself. “Too soon?”
She nodded. “Too soon.”
They fell once more into silence, and William flicked on the wipers and headlights when a drizzle kicked in. With the clouds and misty rain, visibility had dropped. They drove along the outskirts of a country club and William noted some golfers still out on the course. Typical. Some people can’t get enough of that lazy person’s sport.
Serena broke the silence. “May I ask you a question?”
William shrugged. “Sure.”
“Why do you push so hard? I mean, I know what I said to you that night a few months ago is part of the reason, but that can’t be the only thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re the hardest working, most intense person I know,” she said, “and I was a mahavan. That means something. But when you let yourself relax, you’re fun and funny, more like you used to be when we first met.”
William smiled wryly. He missed that part of himself too and often wished he could go back to the way he’d once been: carefree and happy. “I push so hard because my family is dead. My brother is gone, and you know why.”
“Kohl Obsidian.”
William shook his head in negation. “No. It’s because of asra, my potential to do magic. My family paid for my lorethasra with their lives, and I have to make sure their sacrifice was worth it.”
Serena frowned, obviously confused. “I don’t understand.”
&nb
sp; William took a few seconds to gather his thoughts. “I want to protect everyone I love. I don’t want anyone else to die because of me, because I wasn’t good enough or strong enough. When I meet God, I want to be able to tell Him that I left it all down here, that I gave everyone everything He gave me.”
“The God I believe in also gives you love and joy.”
William sighed. “I know.” The problem was not that he didn’t want joy in his life. The problem was that he had so many responsibilities and worries, and he didn’t know how to let go of them. Or at least accept them and still find a way to happiness and love.
William drove automatically, not really paying much attention to the road or traffic. Instead, he thought about what Serena had said.
She shifted about and faced him, and he met her disconcertingly intense gaze, the one that always put him off-balance. “The world doesn’t rest on your shoulders,” she said. “Other people are willing to take the burden, too. I have some of those same responsibilities. So do Jake, Jason, Rukh, and Jessira.”
“You mean everyone who volunteered to protect the island?”
Serena nodded. “Rukh said he’s still figuring out where and how to train us, but yes, them. They want the same thing that you do. It’s not all on you.”
William had thought about that as well. He knew Rukh and Jessira could better protect Arylyn than he ever could. Nevertheless, the self-imposed burden weighing him down had yet to shift, possibly because he didn’t want to shift it. The insight startled him, and his mouth pursed as he pondered the notion. Maybe he had to want to be happy in order to be happy. Maybe it was conscious decision.
“Think about it,” Serena said, giving his bicep a gentle squeeze.
They drove another few miles and soon reached the hotel. William grabbed Serena’s bag.
“I can carry it myself,” she said.
William dropped her bag.
Serena’s mouth gaped in shock, and he laughed. “Just kidding,” he said before stooping to retrieve her luggage. “I know you can carry it yourself, but sometimes it’s nice to do things for others.”