by SJ McCoy
“What do you mean?”
She laughed. “I mean I’m trying to be sensible and cautious, when all I really want to do is come home to you and get on with the rest of our lives.”
He smiled. “So, when are you coming?”
“I don’t know. I need to find a place to live and a job and all that other good stuff. You know. Take care of all the practical details.”
“I thought …” He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t really given much thought to the practical details at all. He’d just had this happy picture of her coming back and moving into the apartment with him and working alongside him—and now he realized that wasn’t practical or sensible at all. “Do you want a job?”
She laughed. “I told you when I was eighteen that I was never waiting tables again.”
“I didn’t mean that. You could ….” What could she do?
“No. Thank you. I need to find something for myself. We need to go into this on an equal footing. I’m not coming over there to be your dependent.”
“Of course not.”
“I’ll find something, and I’ve got enough saved up to live on in the meantime.”
“Good. For a moment there I was worried you weren’t going to come until you found something.”
She laughed. “No. I couldn’t wait that long, so I saved up in preparation.”
“Wow, you really did get all grown up, huh?”
“In some ways. I hope you’ll be proud of me.”
“I will. I am. And have you figured out where you’re going to stay?”
“I was hoping you could put me in touch with a realtor.”
“You’re going to buy a place?” Ben’s heart sank. He’d been daydreaming about buying or building a place for them down on the water like she used to talk about.
“Not yet, no. Just rent somewhere to start out.”
“Okay. I’ll have a word with Austin, he’s a good guy. He’ll find you something.”
“Thanks.”
“So,” this was the question he needed an answer to, “when are you coming?”
“When do you want me?”
“Tomorrow,” he said with a laugh. “I’m being honest, not practical.”
She laughed with him. “I like it. I don’t know about tomorrow, but I’ll bet I can be there before the weekend. I’ve been waiting and planning for this. I’ve got everything sorted out and ready. I just needed to hear you say you still want me.”
“Oh, Charlie. I still want you. I always have and I always will.”
“I still want you too, Ben, and I’m going to hang up now before I cry. I’ll see you before the weekend, okay?”
“More than okay, so much more than okay.”
Chapter Six
Ben smiled to himself as he hung up. This was it. She was coming back. He breathed a big sigh. Finally. He drummed his fingers on the desk. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Call Austin. That was something he could do. Austin had a bunch of rental properties. He’d no doubt have something that would work for Charlotte. And if he didn’t, then Ben would find something himself. Hell, he’d give her one of the cabins if he needed to.
He left Austin a voicemail asking him to call back with details of whatever he had available at the moment. As he hung up, Ben realized that he didn’t really need to know what was available. It’d be up to Charlotte to choose what she wanted. He shook his head. So when Austin called back he’d simply put him in touch with her. He shouldn’t overstep. She’d said she was coming back on equal terms with him. She wouldn’t want him organizing her life for her. He’d have to watch himself with that. He’d have to accept that she was more haphazard in her ways than he was, and he’d have to let her get on with it.
He smiled as he remembered the look on Emma’s face when he’d answered his phone. Her eyes had almost popped out when she’d heard him say Charlie. He should go back out there and tell her.
She was bouncing in her seat as he made his way across the deck to the table she shared with Chris. “If I could manage to stand up fast enough I’d jump up and hug you!” she said with a grin. “But you’ll have to make do with a seated inquisition. So, tell me. What’s going on? What did she say?”
Ben smiled. “She’s coming back.”
Emma’s hand flew up to cover her mouth as she let out a little squeal. “Oh, Ben! I’m so happy for you!” Her hand dropped and her smile faded a little. “And what about Alastair?”
“Their divorce is final.” He smiled. “She said they had lunch together yesterday to celebrate.”
Emma brightened at that news. “Aww, that’s nice. I’m glad they’re still friends.”
Ben nodded. “Me too.” It was odd, but he was glad. He felt guilty that Alastair had married a woman who didn’t love him—guilty that he was the one she loved.
“When’s she coming? What are you going to do? Is she moving in with you?”
“No. She’s going to rent a place. I’ve put her in touch with Austin.”
“Oh.”
Ben laughed. “Don’t look like that, Em. We want to do this right. You have to remember that Charlie and I haven’t been around each other for years. We don’t really even know each other anymore. We don’t need to put ourselves under any pressure. We’re going to take our time.”
Emma frowned. “I hope you’re not being too cautious, Ben Walton. You’ve waited years for this. Throw yourself into it. Throw caution to the wind!”
He had to laugh. “That’s rich coming from you. And besides, it’s not me being cautious. It’s what Charlie wants.”
“It is?”
He nodded.
“Wow. I guess she must have changed a lot then.”
Ben nodded again as a shiver of uneasiness ran down his spine. “I guess so.” He just had to hope that she hadn’t changed too much—and that he hadn’t changed too much.
Chris smiled at him. The way she looked at him told him she could see his uncertainty. “Good luck, Ben. I hope the reality lives up to everything you’ve hoped it would all these years.”
“Thanks.” He checked his watch. “I think I’m going to go out and see Joe.”
Emma clapped her hands together. “Oh, he’s going to be so excited! And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone—except Jack, of course. I’ll let you share your good news yourself.”
“Thanks.” He bent down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
As he drove out to Joe’s place, he wondered what the old guy would have to say. He hoped he’d be happy, but the way Joe had questioned him about Angel the other morning made him wonder.
Joe came out onto the front porch as Ben pulled up in the front yard.
“What are you doing out here? Is everything all right?”
Ben smiled as he climbed the porch steps. “That’s not much of a welcome, is it? Everything’s fine. I just wanted to come see you.”
Joe’s eyebrows knit together. “You don’t usually come out here in the middle of a work day unless you’ve got something to tell me or something to ask me. Which is it?”
Ben laughed. “Nothing gets by you, does it, sparky?”
Joe’s lips twitched up in a smile. “It doesn’t. So, spit it out, already.”
“I just talked to Charlie. She’s coming home.”
Joe nodded slowly.
“She’ll be here by the weekend.”
Joe nodded again, but still didn’t say anything.
Ben stared into his eyes. “What, you’re not going to react at all?”
Joe shrugged. “It’s not my reaction that counts, is it? How do you feel?”
Ben smiled. “How do you think I feel? I’m thrilled.”
“Well, good for you then.”
Ben cocked his head to one side. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you weren’t happy about it.”
“Course I’m happy. Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy.” He turned around and went back inside.
Ben followed him, feeling uneasy now. “
You always loved Charlotte. You said the other day that you’d been expecting me to turn around one day and tell you she’s coming home tomorrow. What’s changed? What’s wrong?”
Joe turned around to face him. “There’s nothing wrong. What are you getting all uppity about?”
Ben sighed. “I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“I am. I just told you. Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy.”
“You don’t look very happy.”
Joe smirked. “Forgive me for not jumping up and down; my knees aren’t up to it.”
Ben gave him a rueful smile. “Sorry.”
“Nah, don’t be son.” Joe sighed and lowered himself into one of the kitchen chairs. “I guess, I’m just a bit surprised is all.”
“But why? I’ve been waiting for this for months.”
Joe nodded. “True. But I heard that last night you were having dinner with Angel.”
Ben stared at him. He shouldn’t be surprised. Word traveled fast around here.
“And I also heard that she went back to your place with you afterward. I hope you’re not leading that girl on.”
Ben let out a laugh. “I’m not! I had dinner with her while we were working. She came back to my place with me to get the safe keys.”
“Really? That’s all? Nothing else?”
Ben looked up at the ceiling and shook his head.
“Yeah, I thought so,” said Joe. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“Nothing happened!” He sighed. “Well, something happened, but it was her, not me. I didn’t do anything.”
Joe waited with raised eyebrows.
“If you must know, she kissed me.”
“And you didn’t do anything?”
“I …” he sighed. “I closed my arms around her before I knew what I was doing. Then I pushed her away and told her to go home.”
“Why?”
Ben gave him a puzzled look. “Why do you think?”
“I want to hear what you think. I want you to think about it. Why did you throw her out?”
“Because. Well, you don’t let someone do that, do you?”
“But apparently, you did let her do that. I’ve never heard of a woman kissing a man who didn’t want her to. The other way ‘round sometimes, because men can be assholes and we’re stronger. But if you really didn’t want her to kiss you then I don’t see how she could have. And kicking her out isn’t like you, is it? You’d normally sit a person down and talk to them.”
Ben stared at him. It was true. “So, what are you saying?”
Joe shrugged. “I’m saying I think you like her. I think you’re attracted to her, and I think you’re scared of exploring that because you’ve got blinkers on that will only allow you to see Charlotte.”
Ben frowned. “Isn’t that true of any man in a relationship? He wears blinkers that blind him to all other women?”
Joe laughed. “No. A man in a good relationship doesn’t need blinkers. He can look at and talk to all the women in the world, because he doesn’t see them in the same way he sees his lady.”
Ben thought about that. “What am I doing that makes you and Smoke and everyone else think that I’m interested in Angel? And why is it that after all this time you’re not happy for me that I’m finally going to get back with Charlotte?”
Joe shrugged. “I dunno, son, but I do think you need to figure it out. I like Charlie. I love her. I’d love to see the two of you back together and living the life you thought you were going to have. At the same time, I’m not sure that life is possible now. The future you were going to share belonged to the people you were back then. I don’t know if the people you are now can have that—or if you’d even enjoy it if you did.”
Ben sighed. “So, what are you saying?”
“That you need to think carefully about what you really do want. You and Charlie both. There’s plenty of times in life when you want something for so long that by the time you finally get it, it just doesn’t suit you anymore.”
Ben nodded. “Okay.”
Joe grasped his shoulder. “I just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks.”
As he drove back into town, Ben wondered what reaction he’d get from Missy. He was going to stop in to see her and Dan before he went anywhere else. He was going to call Pete too. Out of all his friends, he expected Pete to be least enthusiastic about his news. Pete and Charlotte were so different. Charlotte used to tell Pete he wasn’t her favorite—and Pete had always agreed that she wasn’t his either. They put up with each other for Ben’s sake, but that was all.
He smiled. At least Emma was thrilled for him. He could always count on her.
He parked the car in the driveway at Dan and Missy’s house and sat there for a moment. It was still so strange to come here to visit them. This house had belonged to Charlotte’s grandparents. She’d stayed here every summer of their childhood. He swallowed as a memory hit him and a wave of emotion crashed over him. The last time they’d ever been together as a couple, the last time he’d held her in his arms, they’d been sitting here, in his car, on the driveway.
He blinked away the tears that stung behind his eyes. That was the night she’d wondered whether they should get rid of the baby. The night before she left for Mexico. The last time he’d held her. He’d been so stunned that she’d even consider not having the baby. He drew in a deep breath to steady himself. He couldn’t open that box up right now. He was here to see Missy and Dan, to tell them his good news that she was coming back. He and Charlotte would no doubt revisit that time of their lives over the coming weeks. He felt as though they still needed to grieve together. But this wasn’t the time for him to be thinking about it. He opened the car door and climbed out.
“Hey, Uncle Ben!”
“Hey, Scotty. How you doing, bud?”
Scot nodded. “Great, thanks. I’m just on my way out. It’s good to see you.”
Ben watched him hitch his backpack higher and plug his headphones into his ears. He smiled and gave a little wave as he walked up the path and closed the gate behind him before walking off down Main.
Scot was growing up so fast. Not so long ago he still used to greet Ben with a hug. He’d still behaved like a little kid just a year ago. Now he was all teenager. Ben watched him as he walked away, head down, cell phone in his hand. The time went so fast. He had to close his eyes again as another wave of emotion hit him. He couldn’t help it. Whenever he saw Scotty, he had to wonder what his own child would be like. No. He could not go there right now. He took a deep breath and went to knock on the front door. He was supposed to be happy; he was here to share his good news. He couldn’t go breaking down now!
“Hey, hon!” Missy greeted him with a smile as she opened the front door. “I didn’t expect to see you till later. Come on in.”
Ben followed her through to the kitchen where Dan was sitting at the counter. “Hi.”
“Hey, Dan. I’m not interrupting anything, am I? I just saw Scotty on his way out. Is this precious alone time for you and I’m landing myself in the middle of it?”
Missy laughed. “Not at all. In fact, I’ll bet Dan’s glad you’re here. I was just chattering on about my coursework and how excited I am that I get to start at Summer Lake High after Christmas.”
Dan’s eyes twinkled when he smiled at Ben and shrugged.
Missy laughed. “Anyway. What do you want to drink? There’s beer or Dan was just about to open a bottle of wine.”
Dan smiled. “I was, wasn’t I?” He got down from his seat and went to the pantry.
“Are you going to tell me what’s up?” asked Missy. “Dan wouldn’t mind going to hang out with his computer, if you like.”
Ben laughed. “Thanks, Miss. But this is something I want to share with both of you. It’s good news.”
Missy wrinkled her nose and eyed him warily. “Am I going to think it’s good news?”
“I hope so.”
Dan came back with a Cab Franc and he
ld it up for Ben’s inspection. “What do you think?”
Ben nodded. “That’s great, thanks.”
Missy pulled herself up onto one of the stools and indicated that Ben should do the same. He sat and took the glass that Dan handed him. Once they all had a drink, Missy poked his shin with her toe. “Come on then. Put me out of my misery.”
“I talked to Charlie this morning. She’ll be here by the weekend.”
Missy’s mouth fell open.
Dan smiled at him uncertainly.
“Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you lost for words before, Miss.”
She recovered quickly and grinned at him. “I think it’s a first!” She laughed, but she still looked shocked.
“Why are you so surprised?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m not. I mean, obviously, I am, but I shouldn’t be. You’ve been waiting for this ever since Vegas. You’ve been waiting a hell of a lot longer than that. We all have! But, I don’t know, I think I was kind of getting used to the idea that it wasn’t going to happen.”
“You were?”
She nodded. “Hell yeah. I thought one or the other of you had finally decided it was time to leave the past where … in the past.”
Had she been about to say where it belongs? Ben raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Oh, come on! You haven’t heard a peep out of her in months. I haven’t either, and I wouldn’t get in touch with her because I didn’t want to know anything that you didn’t know.” She made a face at him. “It’s taken so long that I was starting to wonder if she’d changed her mind, or if maybe it was too hard to break up with Alastair, or I don’t know, something! And then there’s you.”
“What about me?”
She sat up taller and put her hands on her hips. “I don’t know if you’re blind, or if you think we’re all blind. Angel!” Missy blew out a sigh. “She’s beautiful! And she’s so sweet, when you give her a chance—and I feel shitty that none of us have given her a chance, just because she’s not Charlotte. You and her just seem to fit. It’s like you silently became this team—this partnership—without anyone noticing.”