by SJ McCoy
Angel smiled. “I think we were both taken by surprise. There’s no need to apologize. I feel as though I should be apologizing to you, but I don’t even know why. Well, that’s not true. I do know why. I want to apologize because I feel as though I did something wrong. But I know I really didn’t do anything wrong.” She lowered her gaze and gave a slight shrug. “Other than have the world’s worst timing.”
“I know how you feel on that one. My timing pretty much sucks out loud, for both of us. There were years and years when I could have come back with no problems at all. Yet here I am now, it might have worked out so differently for all three of us if I came back a year ago or a year from now.”
Angel shrugged again and looked up with a smile. “One thing I’ve learned in life is that there is no use thinking about all the could-haves and should-haves. All we can do is make the most of what is.” She held out her hand and Charlotte shook it. “I’m glad we could talk. Hopefully now there won’t be any awkwardness between us.” She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Well, at least not too much.”
Charlotte nodded. “It’s a shame, I think we could have been friends.”
“Maybe we still can. We obviously have one thing in common.”
“Yeah, we do. I’ll let you get on, I should get back to Holly.”
“I’ll see you around.”
Angel left and Charlotte made her way back to Holly. She sat down and Holly raised an eyebrow. “How did that go?”
“It wasn’t as weird as I expected. She seems really nice.”
“She must be, after all, Ben took an interest in her.”
“She seems like our kind of person. It seems a shame to me that she’s being left out in the cold.” Holly looked shocked. “If she wasn’t, you would be.”
Charlotte laughed. “I don’t mean by Ben. I mean by everyone else. We have such a great group of friends, it seems wrong to me that only she or I can be part of it. Surely there’s room for both of us?”
“I’d say that would be up to Ben. I know a few of the others weren’t keen on her, purely because she wasn’t you. But now you and Ben are back together, and you’re okay with her, I don’t see why anyone else would have a problem with her.”
Charlotte thought about that. How comfortable would she be hanging out with Angel in the future? How comfortable would Ben be with that? She looked up at Holly and smiled. “I guess we’ll just have to see how it all goes.”
Holly nodded. “I guess.” She looked at her watch. “I need to get back to work.”
“And I should get over to see Emma. I’ll go over everything we talked about today and draw up some notes. I’ll email them to you tomorrow, but give me a call if you think of anything else, won’t you?”
Holly smiled. “I think we covered it all. I’m excited to get started.”
“Great, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
~
Ben smiled when he saw Eddie come in. “Hey, bud, how’s it going?”
Eddie smiled back at him. “I’m doing great, thanks. How about you? I’m guessing you’re doing pretty well. April and I went around to Charlotte’s place on Saturday. We were going to do the neighborly thing and invite her over. But when I saw your car there we beat a hasty retreat. I didn’t want to intrude.”
Ben tried to hide his smile, remembering what he and Charlotte had been up to in the hot tub when Eddie and April had dropped by. He could hardly say he was sorry he’d missed them. Truth be told, he was sorry they’d been there. If it weren’t for that interruption, he was pretty sure that he and Charlotte would be back together in no uncertain terms by now.
Eddie seemed to interpret his silence as an indication that he should change the subject. “Anyway, I thought Chase and Kenzie would be here by now.”
“She’s not due into work for another fifteen minutes yet.”
“I know, but we said … Here they come now.”
“Hey, guys,” said Kenzie with a smile. “Sorry we’re a bit late, Ed. It’s my fault.”
“No problem.”
Ben’s phone rang in his pocket and he fished it out, hoping it might be Charlie. He smiled when he saw Emma’s name come up on the display. He hadn’t spoken to her for a few days.
“Hey, Mouse. How’s it going?”
“The baby’s coming, Ben! It’s coming, and you still haven’t said you’ll be the godfather.”
Ben shook his head. “Of course I will, Em. You know I will. You’ve still got a little while yet though, haven’t you? When’s your due date again?”
“No, you don’t understand, Ben.” She sounded strange, as though she was breathing heavily. “The baby is coming now. As in right now, like we-are-on-our-way-to-the-hospital kind of now.”
“Oh my God, Em! What the hell are you doing calling me? Don’t you have more important things to think about right now?”
Emma laughed. “No, I don’t.” Jack’s driving. “I’m just sitting here with my mind racing through all the things I haven’t done yet.” She laughed again, sounding a little hysterical this time. “I think I’m just trying to focus on anything other than what’s about to happen. So humor me, would you?”
Ben laughed. “Of course I will. Can I do anything? Do you want me to call anyone? Can we come over to the hospital?”
Kenzie’s eyes widened when she heard that. “Is she okay? Is the baby on the way?”
Ben nodded, a big grin on his face. He was so happy for Emma and Jack. And there was no way he was going to allow his mind to wander away from their happiness and toward his own pain.
“I’d love it if you want to come to the hospital.” Emma gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know how long it’s going to take me though. You might have to wait around a while if you come now. Don’t worry about calling people though, I had to call you first, but after you I’m going to call around everyone. That should keep my mind off it for a while, right?”
Ben laughed. “Okay, you do what you feel will work for you. I’m going to wait for Charlie to get back and then we’ll come on over.”
“When you see her, you can tell her this was why I wasn’t on very good form this afternoon. We had our meeting, but I wasn’t really able to concentrate. I told her I was having an off day, but now I understand why.”
“I’m sure she’ll understand, too. And I’m sure she’ll want to be there. Good luck, Em. I guess by the time I see you, you’ll be a mama.”
“Ooh. Oh, that hurts. I’m going to hang up now. It’s a … ohh … Contraction. Bye, Ben.”
Ben hung up and stared at his phone for a moment.
“Is she on her way to the hospital?” asked Kenzie.
“Is Jack with her?” asked Chase.
Ben nodded at them. “Yep, Jack’s driving and Emma’s calling around to everyone.”
“That sounds about right,” said Kenzie with a smile. “I love Emma, she’s going to make such a great mom.”
“Are you going to the hospital?” asked Chase. “We can hold the fort here if you want to go.”
Ben smiled at him gratefully. “Thanks. Charlie’s on the way back here and when she arrives I think we’ll go over there.”
“You forget about this place for tonight,” said Kenzie. “We can take care of it.”
“Thanks, Kenzie.” He smiled, but on the inside, part of him wanted to cry. He didn’t want to let his mind go anywhere near thoughts of his own child—the child he and Charlotte had lost all those years ago. He didn’t want to go there, but it was hard to drag his mind away.
“Here she is,” said Eddie.
~
Charlotte was looking forward to an evening at home with Ben. She’d told him she’d come to the restaurant to find him when she got finished with Emma. They were going to get the kitchen to make something for takeout so they could go and relax at her place.
When she walked into the bar, a wave of anxiety swept over her when she saw the look on Ben’s face. He looked as though he’d seen a ghost, and yet the others with him, Kenzie, Chase, and Eddie all
looked really happy. Ben was hiding something, she knew it. And she was going to get him to tell her what it was. She went straight to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Hey. Do you want to get out of here?” She turned and smiled at Kenzie. “Do you mind if I steal him for the evening?”
Ben took her arm. “Kenzie already offered. I’m ready to leave, if you are?”
Charlotte looked up at him as he led her out of the bar. “What is it, Ben? What’s happened?”
Once they were outside he stopped and turned to face her, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking down into her eyes. “Sorry, baby. I might be overreacting. I should be happy, I am happy for Emma, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.”
“What did? What’s going on?”
“Emma called. They’re on their way to the hospital. She’s gone into labor.”
“Oh. Now it makes sense. She couldn’t focus at all when I was over there this afternoon.”
“Yeah, she said to tell you now she knew why.”
Charlotte closed her eyes for a moment. She, too, was happy for Emma and for Jack; she’d known ever since she came back that being here for the birth of her friend’s child would be difficult. Now the time had come, and in the way Ben had described it, it hit like a ton of bricks. She looked up into his eyes. “I’m with you, I’m happy for her, but it hurt’s like hell. I want to go see and help them welcome the baby, but part of me just wants to go home and curl up and cry.”
“That’s exactly how I feel. Which do you think we should do?”
“What we should do is go over there and hang out and wait with everyone else. I’m not sure I want to, and I’m not sure I can stand it, but that’s what I feel we should do.”
Ben sucked in a deep breath. “That’s the conclusion I reached, too. Are we strong or are we gluttons for punishment?”
Charlotte shrugged. “Maybe a bit of both. I just don’t want to miss out on happy things that are happening in our present, because of sad things that happened in our past.”
Ben wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they walked toward his car. “At least we get to face it together. This would be so much harder if you weren’t here.”
“I couldn’t go by myself, and I’m glad she waited until I came back so that you don’t have to be there by yourself.”
“I held it together all these years, but it was so hard watching the others go through all the stages that I thought we’d go through, believing that our chance had passed, and yet never being able to give up hope that maybe someday our chance would come again.” He opened the door for her and Charlotte got into the car. When he came around and got in the driver’s seat she met his gaze.
“Our chance has come again, together we can face anything, we can even be there and be happy for Emma as she welcomes her new baby into the world. We have to deal with what we lost, but at least now we can face it knowing that we have another chance.”
Ben held her gaze. She knew what he was thinking. He was wondering how she felt about children now. When they were young, she’d always told him they could have kids in their thirties. Now they were in their thirties. She smiled and planted a kiss on his lips. They’d need to talk about that, and they would, but for tonight they had enough to deal with. They needed to get to the hospital.
Chapter Eighteen
Pete looked around at everyone with a smile. “Is it crazy that we’re all sitting in this waiting room and we’ve been sitting here for hours?”
“Yeah, it’s crazy, but it’s the best kind of crazy,” said Missy with a grin. “We couldn’t miss this.”
“I know, I just hope she hurries up. I mean it could take all night, couldn’t it? Do we really want to sit here all night?”
“I do,” said Dan with a grin. “I’m going to be an uncle.”
Gramps came over and rested a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “You doing okay, son?” Ben looked up at him and smiled. “I am, thanks, Gramps. I’m doing better than I thought I would.”
“Good.” Gramps gave Charlotte a kindly smile. “And you?”
Charlotte nodded. She smiled, but Ben could see it was hard for her. Maybe this was a bad idea. He’d asked several times if she wanted to leave. But she said she didn’t. She wanted to be here, wanted to be a part of this. He understood that. So many things had happened, and she’d missed so many milestones in the lives of their friends. This one was huge and she wanted to be a part of it, no matter how much it hurt. He felt the same way. It was hard not to let his imagination stray to how things might have been. These same friends would have been sitting in this same hospital, fifteen years ago, waiting for Charlie to have their baby, if things had turned out differently. He sucked in a deep breath. But things had turned out the way they had. There was no changing that. All they could do was make the most of what was. Be here and be happy for their friends.
Charlotte stood up. “I’m going to go out for some fresh air.”
Ben stood to join her, but she shook her head slightly. “I just need a minute. I’m okay.”
He nodded and watched her go. He wanted to follow, but he understood. She needed to be by herself. Missy came over and sat down beside him. “How are the two of you holding up?”
“It’s not easy, that’s for sure. But I wanted to be here. So did Charlie.”
“Should I go see how she’s doing?”
Ben shrugged. “I don’t know. She wanted to be by herself, but I don’t know if that means she wants to be alone or just not with me. I think we make it harder for each other.”
“Oh, Ben. I don’t think …”
“I’m not saying that in a bad way. It’s just that when we talk to someone else we can say how we feel. When we talk to each other we’re always aware of how the other feels, and we don’t want to hurt each other.”
Missy nodded. “I can see that. I’ll go check on her, and she can send me away if she wants to be by herself.”
She put a hand on his shoulder as she stood up. Ben reached up and squeezed it. He didn’t dare try to speak. Missy had been there for him his whole life, and he didn’t doubt she always would be.
A few moments later, a nurse came out to the waiting room. “Mama and baby are both doing well,” she said with a smile. “They’d like the grandparents to come in first.”
Jack’s mom, Chris, beamed as she stood up.
“Aren’t you going in, Gramps?” asked Pete.
Gramps nodded. “I’ll wait my turn.”
Chris went over to him and held her hand out to him. “I think she means they want to see us.”
“But she said …”
“She said grandparents, Gramps,” said Pete with a smile.
“And you’re a great one, and we all know it,” said Ben.
Gramps dabbed at his eyes as he got to his feet. Chris slipped her arm through his. “Let’s go meet our little one.”
Dan was tapping away at his phone, no doubt telling Missy that she needed to get back in here quick. Ben thought he should do the same and tell Charlotte. He stared at the screen for a few moments not knowing what to say. In the end, he simply typed:
It’s time.
Charlotte and Missy came back in a few minutes later. Missy had a bounce in her step and a big grin on her face. Charlotte looked a lot more subdued. Ben got up and went to her side. “Are you okay?”
She gave him a brave smile. “I am. I can’t wait to see the little one.”
They let the others go in first, all taking turns so as not to crowd Emma and the baby. Pete and Holly came out and Pete grinned at Ben. “She’s gorgeous.” He turned to smile at Chris. “And you think Jack’s overprotective toward you. Can you imagine what he’s going to be like with a daughter?”
Chris laughed. “I think I may have to help Emma keep him in line, or my granddaughter may lead a very sheltered life.”
Dan smiled, “I think Aunt Missy may be able to help the two of you out there.”
Gramps looked at Ben. “Do the two of you want to go in now?�
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Ben looked at Charlotte. She nodded and took hold of his hand and they went through the double doors. Jack beamed at them as they came in. “Come meet our daughter, she’s beautiful.”
Ben swallowed—hard—at the sight of Emma sitting up in bed holding her new baby. He could not cry; he would not cry. Charlotte tightened her grip on his hand and he heard her suck in a deep breath.
“She’s beautiful, Emma. How are you?”
Emma smiled at Charlotte. Ben had never seen her look so happy. “I’m exhausted. I had no clue it was going to be like that.” She smiled down at the baby. “But it was so worth it. Just look at her, she’s amazing.”
Jack went to perch on the bed beside her and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Does she have a name?” asked Ben.
Emma smiled up at Jack. “She does, we’re going to call her Isabel.”
“Oh, Em, that’s beautiful. I love it,” said Charlotte. She wiped at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.
Emma reached out and touched her arm. “I’m sorry, Charlie. I knew this was going to be hard for you.” She looked at Ben. “And you. I’m so sorry.”
Charlotte shook her head. “Don’t be. Nothing should spoil this moment for you. Don’t be sad. This is the happiest day of your life.”
Ben nodded. He didn’t know what to say. It was such a bittersweet moment. Emma—one of his oldest and dearest friends—was experiencing a joy that he and Charlotte had been robbed of. He truly was happy for her and Jack, despite his own sadness.
Jack smiled at them. “The nurse said we could only have a few minutes. We just wanted to introduce her to her godparents.”
Ben was only too happy to get out and leave the new little family to each other. Charlotte’s death grip on his hand as they made for the door told him she felt the same way.
When they got back to the others in the waiting room, Pete grinned. “We called around everyone, they’re going to meet us at the Boathouse to wet the baby’s head. We’ll see you there.”
Missy came over to them as everyone made their way out. “I can make excuses for you if you don’t want to go.”
Ben looked at Charlotte, not sure if either of them would be able to stand that. She shook her head slightly. “I don’t think I can, I’m sorry.”