by Alana Khan
I stride over to A’s side of the bed, pull up a chair, grab his hand, and lean close to his handsome face. I take a deep breath and promise myself I’m not going to say one word that isn’t true.
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Axx. Nothing.” I pause a moment, slowly realizing that confessing my innermost feelings to him—to them both— is going to be harder than I thought. “How can anything good come out of what we were initially forced to endure? And yet...it did. I…” Shit, I don’t want to say this. My stomach is clenching. Saying this will give him so much power over me. I gird myself; I literally throw back my shoulders and give myself a pep talk that I’m strong enough to handle this.
“I developed feelings for you, Axx.” I take one deep breath, then another. “I’ve felt a deep attraction to you since, well, since the beginning. And I guess...it broke my heart that you didn’t reciprocate. Yeah…” I nod, “it broke my heart.”
My eyes are tearing, and I clench my jaw to gather control. I don’t even glance at Braxxus, it’s all I can do to keep looking at Axxios, reading his emotions—or trying to—his expression is shuttered. But he squeezes my hand, nice and tight. Is he trying to lend me some strength?
“I didn’t really understand about the twinbond. Didn’t have a clue about silvers and golds, seriously how could I know that? I knew you thought your brother was dead, but the extent of your love for him? The feeling of loss? How much that loss would affect your life? I had no way of understanding that. I couldn’t fathom it.
“I felt rejected by you. You hurt my feelings. And the way to deal with it, to protect myself, was to get angry and reject you back. I...I think I’m still angry and hurt, but I’ll get over that.” I breathe deeper now, the worst is behind me. Besides, I’m focused on my hand in his golden one, I’m not looking into his beautiful blue eyes anymore.
“I really want to give things a try, Axx. And I want to help you. Even with all we’ve been through, you’ve always tried to be kind. I want to give back, to ease your burden.” I take another deep breath and search my soul. I think I’ve said everything that needs to be said, at least for right now.
I gather the courage to look at him now. Whatever power I might have just given him, the damage is done.
His eyes are swimming with unshed tears. His jaw is tight, teeth clenched—I think he’s trying to batten down his emotions. Somehow he pulls me into bed next to him, my back against his side, his arm tight around my waist. This reminds me of those days when we were slaves, when during the day we pretended that our masters were forcing us together, but during the night we experienced bliss in each others’ arms.
He turns his head to whisper in my ear. “I hadn’t experienced feelings, really felt them, since puberty, Angel.”
My insides squeeze with a warm wave of pleasure when he calls me that.
“I wasn’t aware then, but I’m fully aware now—I’ve loved you since the first day. I was too dense to feel it, maybe too stupid to understand it, but it’s clear now how much I love you, Angel. It breaks my heart to know I hurt you. All I can do is say I’m sorry. I never want to hurt you again.”
I climb gingerly over him to the middle of the bed, making sure not to even touch him during the maneuver. I spoon him, but before I throw my arm over his waist, I pat the bed behind me, indicating I want Braxx in bed with us, spooning me from behind.
Oh my God, this feels fantastic. I’m a Brianna sandwich. Peanut butter between silver and gold. Braxx snuggles me from behind, then speaks loud enough for both of us to hear, “I love you two. This is what I want. The tri-bond. Bondmates. For all of us to just love each other. If we do that, nothing else really matters. Besides, everything will work out, it always does.”
Axxios
I’m glad I’m facing away. I can have a moment to process everything. It’s like I’m two different people right now. Part of me is soaring in happiness. What just happened—Brianna saying she cares about me, feeling her arm tight around my chest, her breasts pressed against my back—it’s what I’ve dreamed of since I was a child. That part of me is jubilant and wants to jump up and down in glee.
Which is the point. Because the other part of me knows with certainty that I’ll never be able to do that. I’ll never be able to run or jump, and possibly most importantly, I’ll never be able to fulfill my Angel sexually again because I’m dead from the waist down.
Sadjoy. It’s a Mythrian word I never understood...until today. I feel it now.
A fully-formed plan enters my head, just like that.
I’ll love this female to the best of my ability. I’ll love my gem in a way I haven’t since I turned gold. I’ll get on the Intergalactic Database every free minute to see what happens when the gold member of the tri-bond dies. Maybe there’s a loophole. If I’m gone, gone for good, maybe Braxx’s equipment will work when I’m not around. Then they can be happy without me. In the meantime, they’ll never know I’m not truly part of their happy family.
Chapter Fifteen
Brianna
The stress of the past few days must have caught up with us. We slept yesterday from late afternoon straight through to this morning. I awaken, still sandwiched between my two guys. My two guys? How weird is that to say? But they are, and for right now, that feels mighty good. I give myself a swift little talking to, reminding myself that Axx is and might always remain a bit of an asshole. When he’s sweet he more than makes up for it.
I had a friend who used to say, “Shit comes out of my mouth sometimes.” He was right. We all mess up on occasion.
“Attention all males and females,” Zar’s stentorian voice interrupts over the shipwide comm, “this is a reminder that Shadow is making a special bake-a-cake for dessert tonight to celebrate the fact we all escaped Fairea with our lives. After that, don’t forget the...let me check my notes...talent show that is planned.
“My beloved mate Anya wanted me to remind you that there is still time to put you on the program. She says, and I quote, ‘be there or be square,’ although I still have absolutely no idea what that means.”
The comm clicks off and I feel both the guys stir next to me. Axx uses his arms to help him pivot toward me, Braxx is already looking my way. You’d think this would be awkward, waking up squished between both of them, but it feels divine.
“Do either of you have any hidden talents I should know about? Something you could display at a talent show?” I ask.
“I used to do intricate native dances from my world,” Axxios informs me. “They would go on for hoaras to a steady drumbeat. I guess that’s no longer an option,” he intones solemnly, his face forlorn.
Braxx reaches over me and slaps his brother on the ass. “Wait,” he says, then punches him on his shoulder, “that first one doesn’t count, you couldn’t feel it. Don’t be an oodvalt.”
I have no idea what an oodvalt is, but by its context and B’s intonation, I assume it’s the Mythrian equivalent of a jackass.
“Are you calling him a jackass?” I ask.
“I have no idea what a jackass is, but by your context and intonation, I assume it’s the Earth equivalent of an oodvalt. My beloved twin never danced any intricate native dances.” He whacks him again for good measure.
“And you, Braxx? Any hidden talents?” I ask over Axx’s chuckle.
“I’ve been told I have artistic talent, but the only task I ever put it to was drawing pictures of one beautiful, alluring, mystical, heavenly angel. I don’t think it could properly be displayed to our fellow shipmates.”
“If we’re going to try to do this bondmate thing, we’ve got to set up some rules. And rule number one is to avoid the ‘b’ word,” I order sweetly.
“All in favor of avoiding the ‘b’ word say yes,” Axx says, his voice happy and upbeat.
“Yes,” I chime, but I’m outvoted. “It will never be fair, being one female to two males. I’ll always be outvoted. I think either I should get two votes or you guys should each get half.”
“Al
l in favor of making this completely unfair and giving one person two votes say yes,” Axx says.
“Yes.”
“You’re outvoted!” they say at the same time.
“Drack you!” I pout.
“All in favor of punishing Brie for using foul language say yes,” Braxx says, and his voice has that husky quality that sends a little zing to my nether regions.
“Yes,” they both say in unison, their voices deep and sexy. Both of them are looking at me like I’m little red riding hood and they’re big bad wolves. Oh my God, I never realized my core would lubricate at the word “punishment.” I guess I’ve got a lot to learn.
“I know the perfect punishment, Brianna,” Axx says in a low growl. Oh Grandma, what big teeth you have.
“What is it?” I squeak.
“Braxx and I are going to give you intense pleasure for ten minimas, then leave you wanting. You get to marinate in that all day until after the talent show. Actually, I think my gem and I have a talent after all. But it’s not for public consumption. We’ll display it tonight, alone, in this room, for your enjoyment only.”
I close my eyes and my breath releases with a huff. My clit is quivering already. “Ten minutes?” Does that sound like heaven, or hell? I have no idea.
“It will be eleven if you say one more word in argument. And you’re forbidden from sexual release without our permission,” my silver lover says from behind me. When did he change from being the nice one?
Axx pulls me toward him with a strong arm and with no preamble invades my mouth with his tongue. I’m not arguing. He licks the palm of his hand and circles my nipple with it, then plucks.
“Oh,” is all I can say as I sink into a haze of sexual desire.
Braxx nips my neck from behind, then leans over and licks my nipple just as his brother is working the other.
“Too much,” I manage to mumble. I’m not thinking straight. I look down and see both of their heads working my breasts. One golden, one silver. I wasn’t lying, this is too much. I’ll never be able to bear it. Not for ten minutes, not even for two more.
Braxx lifts his head to say, “You complained, Angel. Now it’s eleven. Computer, eleven-minute timer.”
I want to tell him that’s unfair, that he should have started the timer at least two minutes ago, but I know he’ll just add another minute to this delicious punishment.
Braxx moves down my body, nibbling and licking along the way until he arrives at the junction of thigh and torso. He nips me there until I writhe, trying to get his mouth and tongue to my core.
“Lie still,” he commands, then redoubles his attention to the spot that delivers a delicious combination of arousal and urgency.
“I can’t,” my voice is a breathy whine.
“Computer,” Braxx says, “add one minute to timer.”
The word “fuck” almost escapes my mouth, but I know I can’t tolerate even one extra minute of this sweet torture, so I bite it back.
Braxx slides between my legs, widens my thighs, and shoulders himself farther until he’s up close and personal. He breathes hotly on my clit and all of my attention focuses there. Except I’m swooning under Axx’s attentions, his fingers on first one nipple and then the other. His tongue pillaging my mouth, leaving me almost breathless with desire.
I’m incapable of thought. I can only feel. I’m swimming in a warm pool of lust.
Braxx has my legs split wide and dips his tongue into me, penetrating me as far as it can reach. A mighty bold step for a male’s first exploration. He presses, licks, then laps my cream.
“Drack, Brie,” he rumbles against my clit. “Gods, you taste divine.”
The tip of his tongue gently touches my clit. I hazily wonder if he’s getting acclimated. Then he flicks it harder, touching, pressing and lapping almost as if he’s making sure to touch all the numbers on an imaginary clock face. By the second rotation, he’s magically found nine o’clock, my happy spot. I must have given away the secret by the deep moan that escaped my lips at the same time my hips levitated off the bed.
“That’s right, gem,” Axx pulls away just long enough to praise his brother, “make her moan.”
Braxx keeps his lascivious attentions on the right spot until I’m writhing on the bed.
“You know she’s close when her moans come from deep in the back of her throat like that,” Axx praises.
I can’t take any more. The urge to come isn’t sneaking up, it’s barreling down on me. No, no, no, I’m screaming in my mind when Braxx slides a finger inside me. No, I can’t control myself. He can’t keep doing that without making me fly apart.
Another finger joins the first. So not fair. Is this what it’s going to be like forever? Two against one? That thought alone almost puts me over the edge.
Axx knows every one of my tells. He has to recognize I’m two seconds from release, because his hand snakes down and cups my mons, his fingers blocking my entrance from his brother. He croons in my ear, “It’s okay, little Angel. We won’t punish you any further.”
I’m still panting, heart racing, clit thrumming. Braxx slides up and plays tenderly with my hair while Axx applies the gentlest pressure down below, helping me get control. The computer announces the timer is up. It will take me all day to recover from this.
Axx bites along my jawline from ear to chin. “It’s going to be a long day for you, Brie. You know you’re forbidden from taking care of yourself, right?”
I’m still so deep in a lust-induced haze it takes a moment to understand his meaning. “Yes.” I nod.
“Braxx and I will apply the antidote tonight,” he promises huskily.
Fuck you, I tell them in the privacy of my mind. But crap, that was the most sensual thing I’ve ever experienced. Maybe this bondmate thing might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Axxios
Bittersweet. Is that what the rest of my life is going to be like? What happened in our bed this morning was one of the best moments of my life. Being with my gem, knowing we’re with our bondmate, and working together to pleasure the female we love? That was what life should be about.
And at the same time, not being able to feel anything below the waist? Certainly there must be a word more crushing than despair. How crazy that half the time I was focused on giving Brie pleasure and the other I was wallowing in my own misery
Enough of this, it’s getting me nowhere. I’ve got research to do. I need to find out if a silver is capable of an erection after his gold dies.
Braxxus
My twinlink with Axx is a blessing and a curse. It was so good finally having our twinlink again. Although I knew I missed him, I don’t think I’d realized just how much until we reconnected.
But I can perceive his emotions almost as if they’re my own. He thinks he’s graying them out, hiding them in the shadows of his mind, but I feel them.
He wasn’t fully there in bed with Brie and me this morning. He’s disconnected. He laughed and joked with us today, but he’s not happy. Then again, how could he be? He’s paralyzed.
After Brie left I helped him with his shower. I had to turn away as I carried him there and placed him on the shower chair we grabbed from medbay. I didn’t want him to see the pinched anguish on my face, to know my heart was breaking for him. He’s lost so much.
I guess we’re both hiding things from each other—or trying to.
I was missing a piece of the puzzle when it suddenly strikes me. He’s contemplating suicide. The thought pierces into my brain in a modicum, but I’m certain it’s true. That would explain his near nonchalance about his paralysis as well as the thick curtain he’s erected between us.
I can’t talk to him, he’ll just deny it. If what happened in bed today can’t convince him how sweet our life can be, even with his challenges, I don’t know what could.
I grab the computer pad and start feverishly paging through the Intergalactic Database. I have an idea.
Brianna
Shit. I
read somewhere that the female equivalent of blue balls is called heavy pelvis. Boy is my pelvis heavy.
I’m walking to the dining room for breakfast and can’t keep my finger from sliding along my lips, almost as if I can replay what just happened in my bed. Well, it’s not my bed. Or...maybe it is? I don’t understand exactly what the status of our relationship is. Bondmates? Not quite? Is there some ceremony we have to go through? Do I really want this?
I’m the type of girl who likes to quantify things. Yep, I like to have things nicely tied down, yet nothing seems settled at all. And right now the thought of tying things down gets me hornier because all of a sudden, after my little punishment in bed this morning, the picture of being tied down just flew across my internal vid screen.