“You’re every bit as perfect as you’ve always been, Heather.”
My name sounded like a symphonic melody emanating from his lips. He lifted my chin with his finger and for a moment I thought he might kiss me.
A part of me wanted to stroke his cheek and savor the taste of his lips one more time, but the rest of me wanted to Usain Bolt out of there.
“I’m sorry,” were the only words I could muster.
I stepped back and then turned away from him; his voice trailed after me.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I heard the emotion in his voice.
I stopped. Tears stung my eyes and I regretted wearing my contacts.
He walked up behind me and grabbed my shoulders. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You couldn’t have changed anything.”
Every insecurity I’d ever had came rushing back. “Sweet Hunter,” I muttered. “I’m so sorry. You invested so much, loved me so genuinely, and the only thing I had to do was carry and deliver our baby…and I couldn’t even do that.” Now I faced him. “One more month. One more month and Lily would have been born a healthy baby girl. We would be married. She would be three years old now, twirling around in pretty dresses and calling me mommy—” My voice broke.
Hunter blinked back tears of his own.
“This day haunts me every year. Everyone around me celebrates the one they love, but I am constantly reminded that this is the day we lost Lily. I lost everything that day.”
“No.” The strength in his voice seemed to make the ground tremble beneath us. “You didn’t lose me. You walked away from us. You changed your number, you moved. You… you vanished from my life just as quickly as she did. You didn’t give me a chance to fight for you.”
“I need you to know that I wanted to stay, but I didn’t know how. Maybe I was selfish, but Lily’s death devastated my soul and yours. I couldn’t help put you back together because the shards of my own broken heart were bound to wound yours.” Even with Hunter mere inches from me, he had never felt so distant. “I wish we hadn’t bumped into each other. You should be going to surprise someone with those stuffed animals instead of talking about things we can’t change.”
He looked at the shopping cart, reaching inside to pick up one of the stuffed animals. For a moment I thought I saw a sad smile. “They’re for Lily,” he said.
“What?”
“These flowers and gifts. I take them to her grave every year. She’s still our daughter. She’s my sweetheart, just like her mother will always be…the only love I’ll ever need.”
I couldn’t move. I didn’t even budge when the Wal-Mart associate mopped around our feet, noticeably eavesdropping.
Hunter’s phone started to chirp. He eyed the screen. “It’s work.”
“You should probably take that.”
He silenced the phone. “It would be great if you would come with me to see Lily—” The expression on my face must have stopped him. He nodded. I was sure he knew that was something I couldn’t do.
His eyes misted. “It was so great seeing you, Heather.” He leaned in for another hug. He touched the small of my back and pulled my body against his.
He inhaled deeply. “You still use lavender shampoo.” His chest vibrated against my cheek as he spoke. “Do you think I could call you some time?” His voice quivered.
When I pulled away, I saw a sadness in his eyes that mirrored the tears in mine.
I placed my hand on his chest and nudged him backward, creating space. “No.”
He dropped his head.
“Be good,” I told him.
He nodded. Before he could say another word, I walked out of his life. Again.
***
We all experience loss at some point in time and it affects everyone differently. It’s an inevitable part of life that we all dread but, for most people, hope eclipses that pain. I wonder if anyone ever took into account that there are some of us who keep losing the same love every year.
Jeida K. Storey is an Atlanta native where she received her Bachelor of Arts degree in English and Creative Writing from Georgia State University. She lives with her husband in Orlando, Florida and is currently writing her first novel. You can find out more about her at www.jeidakstorey.com.
Fool Me Once
By Lamesha Junior Johnson
JAYLA
Keona had said she would never do it again. Now, Jayla felt more betrayed than a celebrity whose father leaked her secrets to the blogs. She slammed her laptop shut and imagined that Keona was in her grasp being shaken like a rag doll.
“Get a hold of yourself,” Granny Shirley said with bugged eyes. “What in the world has you so upset?”
Jayla threw her head back and exhaled a long breath because one more outburst would further distress Granny Shirley. She was grateful the only other person in the small Houston coffee shop where they sat was in the kitchen and couldn’t witness the emotions she felt.
She exhaled again. “Keona, stole my idea.”
Granny Shirley rolled her eyes. “She’s shown you her true colors so many times. I don’t know why you befriended that girl again.” Granny Shirley shook her head and huffed. “Just last month she stole your face mask recipe.”
Jayla nodded. “According to her, since she changed one ingredient it wasn’t stealing.” Jayla smirked. That one change had caused pimples and blemishes to break out on the faces of the few women who tried Keona’s product. Jayla felt bad for those women, but also vindicated knowing Keona didn’t get away with playing her.
“And what about that time when you were in elementary school?”
If she hadn’t been sitting right in front of Granny Shirley, Jayla would have rolled her eyes. Her grandmother remembered everything and now she wondered why she’d told her so much. Granny Shirley would forgive, but her forgiveness didn’t say that one could remain in her life.
Jayla didn’t know why it was like this with Keona, though. When she saw Keona for the first time in eleven years at her natural hair Meetup event, she’d been so excited that she’d stopped her session to hug her old friend. Their bond became strong again, as if days and not years had passed since the two had made their entire middle school think they were first cousins since they shared the same smooth chocolate skin, similar sharp features and the same last name, Washington.
During one of their catch-up lunches together, Keona confessed she was a huge fan of Jayla’s Lifestyle and Beauty blog and she’d told Jayla that she had launched her own makeup blog.
“I wanna be just like you,” Keona had confessed. “I’m tired of working at Dillard’s. I want to blog full-time, too.”
Jayla had been flattered by her friend and she’d encouraged Keona to follow her dreams. She just didn’t know Keona was going to do it at her expense.
“Don’t stare off in space,” Granny Shirley said. When she rubbed her hand, Jayla came back to the present. “Tell me, what did she do this time?”
Jayla finished chewing a bite from her banana nut muffin before she said, “I contacted Keona about the two of us discussing fashion and celebrity gossip for my YouTube channel. I came up with the topics, lined up guests, the décor, and styled us. All she had to do was show up and talk. She knew I planned to launch my show next week, but she one upped me, duplicated everything I did, and launched it with someone else yesterday.” Jayla opened her laptop to show Granny Shirley Keona’s video. They watched for five minutes before Jayla said, “Now, I have to scrap all my ideas and start over.”
Granny Shirley shook her head and looked angrier than when a flat tire caused her to be late for church. “That snake in the grass. Well, cut her off.”
“I want to.” Jayla lowered her eyes. “But, I missed seeing her the last time we stopped speaking.”
As an only child, raised by her strict religious grandparents, Jayla had never had the opportunity to make many friends. Keona had filled that void until they attended different high schools.
Jayla l
ooked at her ringing cellphone and silenced it. It had been a month since she heard that special ringtone she’d reserved for her now ex-boyfriend. When his side chick alerted her of their affair on Facebook, Keona had been right there for Jayla. Keona had trashed him, trashed the other woman and called both of them every dirty word she knew. Then afterwards, she’d taken Jayla out and bought Jayla her favorite Oreo shake. There were other times like that; Keona really did know how to be a good friend.
“You missed seeing her?” her grandmother said as if she couldn’t believe it.
Jayla nodded. “Maybe if I tell her off one good time and never share my plans with her again, maybe then we can still be friends.”
Granny Shirley placed her chin on her fist. “So, what will you talk about when you get together?”
Jayla shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You’re grown, but I know I didn’t raise no fool,” she said shaking her head. “Fool me once —”
“Shame on you,” Jayla finished one of her grandmother’s favorite sayings.
Granny Shirley clapped her hands, though there was no smile on her face. “You know how it goes. You’ll be just fine when you kick her to the curb.” She sipped the last of her tea. “Come on, you can work at home and I can fix you some food to take your mind off of it. With a full belly, you can plan something bigger that Keona can’t steal.” She winked at her granddaughter.
Jayla gave a quick glance to her watch. They’d only been at the coffee shop for thirty-two minutes and Granny Shirley was ready to leave. When her grandmother had said that she wanted to come with Jayla to the place where she did much of her writing, Jayla knew then that she should’ve made up some excuse to tell her no. Her grandmother preferred being home, lounging around in her duster, cooking and watching her soap operas. So now, she was ready to go back home before Jayla had even written one word.
“But, this is where I’m most comfortable writing and I can use their free Wi-Fi,” Jayla whined.
“We have that at home,” Granny Shirley countered in a tone that said her word was final.
Jayla closed her computer and gathered her things. On the ride home her thoughts turned back to Keona and she wondered if the good in their friendship outweighed Keona’s occasional betrayal. Granny Shirley was wise, but maybe this once she was wrong and their friendship was worth saving.
KEONA
Keona didn’t understand why Jayla was so upset. It had been a week since her new YouTube channel had debuted and Jayla had been upset the whole time; though at least she had called this morning. It wasn’t like Jayla had an original idea. Many people uploaded videos discussing fashion and gossip.
She rolled over in her bed and retrieved her phone. She checked the stats on her YouTube video and groaned. Keona had hoped to get some of Jayla’s shine, but she had seen as much shine as a pair of dirty suede shoes. After a whole week, eighteen people had viewed her video.
Keona scratched her head aggravating her kinky strands. She should have done the show with Jayla instead of ticking off her friend.
Keona wanted to lie in bed longer, but she needed to clean up before Jayla came over. She got out of bed and tossed a week’s worth of take-out into black trash bags, then loaded the dishwasher. She moved clothes from the couch and threw them on the bed. Then, she lit apple-cinnamon scented candles to mask the stench left from the moldy food.
She looked around at her messy studio that was much different from the four-bedroom, two-story house Jayla shared with Granny Shirley. Dust still lined her furniture and dirt covered the carpet, but by the time Jayla knocked on the door, she had managed to get a shower and fix her hair.
“It’s open,” Keona shouted from the couch.
Jayla entered with her purse swung over one shoulder and a large tote bag on the other. She turned her nose up. After they greeted each other, Keona motioned for her to take a seat next to her. Jayla looked around the room as if she wanted an alternative seat, but her choices were the couch, a bed full of clothes and dirty sheets, and a floor with red Kool-Aid stains.
She decided to sit on the couch and got right to the point, “Look, if we’re gonna continue this friendship, I have to be able to trust you. You can’t keep doing this mess.” She folded her arms and pursed her lips.
Keona didn’t like the shade thrown from Jayla, but she needed Jayla. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t get anything done thinking about what I did,” Keona said. She was lying, of course. She wasn’t sorry, and she had gotten plenty done filming another segment for her YouTube show, writing five articles for her blog, and working overtime at the department store.
“I couldn’t get anything done either.” Jayla bit her pinky finger that was void of the shellac polish and rhinestones that she usually wore.
Keona frowned. Jayla never passed up a nail appointment. What else did she neglect?
After a moment, Jayla unfolded her arms and relaxed. “I wasn’t sure if we should end our friendship or try to make it work with new stipulations.”
“What stipulations?” Keona asked with hesitation in her voice.
“You have to show me that I can trust you,” Jayla said looking her in the eyes and displaying more force and confidence than Keona expected.
Keona put her hand on Jayla’s shoulder. “I’m willing to do whatever you need me to do so that I can prove that you can trust me. Why don’t we still do the show together?” Keona paused. “We could come up with – maybe a best friends discuss makeup show.”
Keona hoped Jayla liked this idea. This would help her to be reintroduced to the huge audience that Jayla had. It had been thirty-seven weeks since Jayla had included photos of the two of them on her Instagram page.
Jayla shook her head. “No, I think we should separate business from personal from now on. That way we can work on our friendship.”
Keona forced a smile. “Sure. That makes sense. Our friendship is more important.”
Jayla nodded, then said, “What do you have to eat in here?” She pointed toward the kitchen.
“Nothing.” Keona slouched on the couch. “Why don’t we go to Pappadeaux?”
“No, I had that yesterday. How about we just order in Chinese?”
Keona frowned and shook her head. Jayla’s fans were everywhere and they always wanted to take selfies with her. If she could squeeze into just one of those photos, that could make up for the mishap she had last week when she declined to take a picture and the woman dragged her on social media. That incident cost her several followers on Instagram and Twitter.
Jayla’s phone chimed and she smiled after reading the notification.
“What’s up?” Keona asked, leaning over trying to see what was making Jayla so happy.
“Nothing.” She looked up at Keona. “I – well, I guess I can tell you since it’s a done deal. I can’t tell you all the details, but I’ve been asked to be the face of an online skincare line.”
Keona wanted to roll her eyes, but she hugged Jayla to mask her envy. “That’s awesome. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, sis,” Jayla said ending their embrace.
“Yeah, it’s something I’ve been working on for a while and there were a couple of other girls in the running, but I got it.”
“Wow,” she said, although a thought was already spinning in her head. Keona rubbed her stomach. “Why don’t you run out and get something for us to eat? It’ll be faster than ordering in. And while you’re out, get an Oreo shake from me as a celebratory gift.”
“That’s a good idea.” Jayla agreed and grabbed her purse, not even looking at her tote.
Keona stayed on the sofa until Jayla walked through the door, then she sprang up and ran to the window. Through the blinds, she watched Jayla drive away and when she couldn’t see her car anymore, she went straight to her tote bag. Maybe there was something inside about that skin care line contract. She threw out the lip gloss, the iPad and at the bottom, found two notebooks. She scanned through the pages and stopped at what loo
ked like Jayla’s goal list. She smirked at all the check marks and the year wasn’t even over. She had everything that she wanted, but a man.
“I’ll find you a man, I promise,” Keona whispered. Maybe that would be enough for what she was about to do. She flipped through more pages and found nothing. Tossing that book aside, she went to the next one. She searched through the pages until she found it – the contact information for Antwan Rhodes of Antwan Rhodes Cosmetics.
Keona grabbed her phone off the coffee table, inserted his name into Google and learned that he was stationed in Atlanta and had started his business two years before.
Just as her fingers were poised to dial his number, she thought about the trip to New York that she’d taken with Jayla just last year. They’d gone to a Broadway play, and then hung out at a club and danced until the doors closed. Good times and Keona truly loved Jayla; but she needed this. Jayla had so much going for her including her degree. She didn’t have all of that and needed this opportunity. She called the number and prayed – prayed that she would make contact and prayed that Jayla would forgive her.
When Antwon didn’t answer, Keona left a message, detailing that she was interested in becoming the face of his line. Then, she followed up with an email, pitching herself with pictures of her skin with and without makeup and she thanked God that the blemishes from her failed face mask had healed and her skin was now flawless.
Looking over at the sofa, she’d been so caught up that she’d forgotten put everything back inside Jayla’s tote bag. She was filled with excited energy and she paced her living room. If she could just get this break….
Just as she had that thought, her cell rang. She blinked as she looked at the number, squealed, then took a deep breath before she answered.
“Hello,” she answered trying to sound more professional than thrilled.
He verified it was her and then praised, “I didn’t advertise this opportunity, but you are fabulous. I thought I’d found the face of my skin care line, but your pictures tell me that I may need to reconsider.”
The Ex Chronicles Page 10