Plead Forgiveness: Betrayed Twice (Loyalty Series)

by Dobsyn, Aury

  The shock of this welcomed discovery hit her full force. “May I ask how you learned such valuable information?”

  “Alex Mackenzie’s wife was an extraordinary healer. Although she is no longer with us, Alex imparts her wisdom to all who will listen and benefit from such knowledge.”

  “I am impressed. Most men want as many children as their wives can produce.”

  Gavin’s eyes locked with her when he stated sincerely, “If a man cares deeply for his wife, then two or three bairns are more than enough.”

  Although he neglected his duties shamefully this day, the smile Ella bestowed upon him made it all worth it in the end.

  14

  Clouds covered the sun, cooling the morning air when Ella and Gavin reined in their horses and took them to the burn. For the past sennight, they rode together each morning, and so far, only pleasant conversation passed between them.

  “King Richard built Westshire Abbey for the sole purpose of breeding the horses he brought back from the crusades. Their horses differ from our own, being faster and having more endurance,” Ella explained as Gavin tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

  Her silky voice and arresting smile rendered him speechless more than once this morning.

  Giving his attention back to her words, he asked, “Why dinna Richard give one of his noblemen the duty to breeding the horses he brought back from the crusades?”

  “Richard believed that the monk’s records of breeding lines would be more accurate than that of his nobles, and that they would be more honest and patient in their work.”

  “Aye, a wise decision. I am glad they were good to ye.”

  The jubilation Ella felt being with Gavin as they rode across the land or engaged in endless conversations began to soften her heart. He obviously cared for her and acted to protect her as well as her family. She no longer blamed him for her aunt and uncle’s deaths, realizing Philip’s true intentions. However, regardless how much she came to respect her husband, mayhap even love him, in the end it would be for naught. Once he discovered who she was, he would banish her just as her father had done.

  When Gavin saw the animation leave Ella’s face, he asked, “What’s amiss, little one?”

  “I think we need to return to the castle,” she replied, hiding her true emotions. “I promised to look in on Colban as well as Rachel. Her time is near, you know.”

  Although not fooled by her evasiveness, he let it go and said, “Aye, I ken. Our midwife has been tending the wife of one of Mackenzie’s men, but she has been sent for.” He paused then asked, “Will ye ride with me again on the morrow?”

  “Aye, if that is your wish.”

  “Aye, that is what I wish, that and much more,” he said in a husky voice as he lifted her to Apollo’s back.

  Ella understood the underlining meaning of his words and choose to remain silent while they rode back to the castle. Her heart pounded in her chest when she reached her chamber to change into a gown, but not from sprinting up the stone stairs, rather from the impact of Gavin’s words.

  As she leaned back against her chamber door, taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart, a terrifying realization washed over her. What would her father and brothers do when they discovered her here in Scotland, married to Laird Macleod? Her oldest brother, Keir, and his marriage to Gavin’s sister, Eva, unite the Macleods and Mackenzies.

  Once Gavin discovered her identity, he would annul their marriage. It broke her heart to admit the truth, that soon the Macleods would not want her, just like the Mackenzies.

  Over next fortnight, Ella slowly emerged from her grief, spending more time with Gavin and his family. She attended the midday and evening meals in the hall, but continued to break her fast with Ualan and Fin, who became close friends and confidantes.

  Like Colban and his family, Ualan and Fin continued to encourage Ella to forgive her husband. Although loyalty to Gavin, the cooks also displayed their loyalty to Ella.

  The smell of fresh baked bread hung in the air of the kitchen one morning while Ella tried to explain to Ualan and Fin why she could not accept Gavin.

  “I do not belong here. I bring nothing to the clan.”

  Caught off guard by her statement, Ualan instantly stopped rolling the dough in front of him. He stared at her for a moment, and then replied earnestly, “Ye bring joy to all those around ye, especially to me and Fin.”

  Fin nodded her agreement with a sincere smile.

  “There is something I did that I am not proud of, things which would cause you to regret those kind words,” Ella said, averting her gaze.

  Ualan and Fin looked at each, startled by her confession. Without hesitation, they both took a seat next to her.

  Fin put her arm around her shoulders and asked, “Ella, we love ye more than ye will ever ken, and there is naught that ye could have done that would change the way we feel about ye.”

  “I love you both, too. That is why it will hurt when you learn the truth.”

  At first, Ualan thought Ella had given her virginity to another man before marrying Laird Gavin. He then remembered seeing the evidence of her purity on the bed sheets the morning after her wedding.

  In a uncommonly soft voice, Ualan asked, “Lass, will ye tell us what ye believe ye have done?”

  “Nae, but soon all will know and hate me,” Ella confessed.

  Fin asked, “Did ye commit this horrible act before or after ye came to the Macleods?”

  Enshrined in acute misery, she replied, “Afore. . . many years ago.”

  Knowing that Ella is ten and eight summers, Ualan asked, “How old were ye when ye committed this grave sin?”

  “Ten.”

  What heinous crime could a child of ten commit, Ualan asked himself. A child’s foolish imagination, he realized a moment later. However, she is nae longer a foolish child, so why does she still believe such folly?

  “Yer were but a child,” he began, “what could ye have possibly done to warrant such a belief?”

  “I am truly sorry, but I cannot tell you and should not have spoken of it.”

  “Nae, lass,” Ualan said, covering her hand. “I am glad ye trusted us enough to speak of it, even if ye have nae revealed all. We will nae tell a soul, but ken this, ye are nae alone. Ye will ne’er be alone.”

  He stood, and then walked over to check the ovens before continuing, “We have all done things we have come to regret. Time is an amazing thing, lass. It brings wisdom and the ability to see clearly events of the past. Ye fear what others will discover, but mayhap what ye remember is nae what others would see.”

  Ella rushed over to hug him and said, “Thank you. I will think much on your words.”

  He gave her a quick squeeze, and then said in his usual gruff tone, “Now be gone! Food dinna cook itself, so there is much work to be done.”

  The two women giggled at the capricious man whose mood and tone changed as often as the direction of the wind. Ella hugged Fin, and then headed to the stables, unaware of the person lurking in the shadows.

  Ualan asked, “Ye heard?”

  “Aye, I heard,” Gavin replied as he walked into the kitchen.

  “What do ye make of it?”

  “I dinna ken, but intend to find out,” he replied to his trusted friend. “Eight years she has carried this burden. . .” he paused for a moment to make a few connections in his head. “Her parents died eight years ago, and shortly thereafter, Greystone became her guardian.

  “So ye think it has to do with her parents’ deaths?”

  “Aye, it makes sense. She refuses to speak of her parents or how they died, so mayhap she blames herself for their deaths.”

  Fin interjected, “As a child, Ella may have blamed herself for their deaths, but as a grown woman, I find it hard to believe that she dinna the truth of the matter.”

  Gavin mulled over her word. “Unless someone confirmed it continuously for eight years.”

  Fin exclaimed, “Dear God, who would do such an evil thing to a
child?”

  “Her guardian, the Baron of Greystone.”

  Outraged, Ualan asked, “Why would the bastard do that to the lass?”

  “Philip told Ella that death follows her,” Gavin explained with a pained look in his eyes. “First her parents died, and on the day she arrived at Greystone, Eleanor’s father, sister, niece and lastly her own child died.”

  Fin gasped at the horror Ella had faced after losing her parents. She wanted to weep for her new friend and the pain she suffered at such a tender age.

  Equally aghast, Ualan asked, “How did ye learn of this?”

  “Sir James explained all to me afore he left.”

  Ualan nodded his head in understanding, then said, “Go to her now. She needs ye more than I realized.”

  “Thank ye both for being so good to her.”

  “We are the ones who should thank ye,” Ualan confessed.

  He nodded then left the kitchen in search of his wife, whom he found moments later in the stables.

  15

  The Macleod Laird and his wife rode at a neck-breaking pace through the wilderness that surrounded Doran Castle. While trying to keep pace with the reckless woman he married, Gavin realized that she possessed some interesting qualities. He knew that many of her habits reflected her emotions.

  When plagued with grief or fear, she rode as if the devil himself chased her. If she tucked her hair behind her ear or bit her bottom lip, she felt nervous. Her playfulness mirrored her joy. When confident and comfortable in her surroundings, she challenged him to a race. Another trait she displayed when in high spirits is to talk non-stop. Gavin especially loved this one; because it allowed him to see that her beauty ran clear down to her soul.

  His little wife is quite opinionated as well, and not in the least bit concerned with voicing her beliefs or concerns. Her gaze never wavered, as did other women and most men, even when they debated a topic. Gavin believed that people express their strength and honesty through their eyes. People who lowered their gaze display only weakness and dishonesty.

  Being a confident, intelligent woman, she never capitulated without a fight. If he happened to prove her wrong, she graciously conceded defeat, something most people of nobility rarely did. He following her lead when she proved him wrong and he learned that surrendering a point is much easier than he assumed.

  Their debates usually centered on women’s clothing, horses, proper nutrition for warriors, weapons, castle improvements, village improvements, in addition to philosophy and history. Gavin had never spent so much time talking and debating with a woman, but he found both highly enjoyable with Ella.

  Ella, too, felt exultant with the turn in their relationship, even though she loathed admitting it. Her husband made her laugh just as easily as he made her think. The mental challenge that surrounded their conversations intrigued her. However, it is the way he looks at her, which holds her breathless and completely spellbound.

  She could feel the sexual magnetism that made him so confident, and with every seductive gaze, her heart turned in response. Whether it is his tender and patient manner or the maddening hint of arrogance he often used to tease her, she knew her heart would soon belong to him.

  With these thoughts clouding her mind, Ella almost forgot the new mare she rode, one of the many Uncle James willed to her. She returned her attention to Gavin, who allowed her a reprieve from their normal banter.

  When they had set off this morning, after her conversation with the cooks, Ella’s mood had been anything but jovial. Even though she did not fully confessed her sin from eight years ago, the memory left her despondent..

  Acute and perceptive, Gavin gave her the space she needed. When she finally slowed the sable mare to a walk, he complied by doing the same, and then patiently waited for her to break the silence.

  “Do you believe boldness breeds strength?”

  Her innocent question sent bolts of fire to Gavin’s loins, as images of breeding ignited his imagination. The perfection of her face and form left him hard with desire day in and day out, yet not so much as a kiss passed between them since they wed. Now, she talks of breeding. Lord, does she have any idea the effect she has on me.

  At night Gavin dreamed of her naked in his bed, with arms stretched out, welcoming him to her body. He would caress the delicate flare of her slender hips, the mercilessly tight and narrow waist, and then lower to the silken thighs firm from years of wild rides on horseback. Perspiring and randy as a goat, he would awaken with intense need for the female in the next chamber. Swimming in the frigid loch at dawn became a daily ritual. After cooling his ardor in the frigid water, he would return and often watch her sleep for a moment or an hour.

  Trying to clear his mind and focus on her question, Gavin failed. “Can ye repeat that?”

  “Aye, do you think boldness breeds strength? I am toying with the idea of breeding this fine, spirited mare with Apollo.”

  She toys with much more than that, he thought. Thinking on her question, he responded dryly, “Aye, ‘tis a fine idea.”

  Hearing his impassive tone, a wave of guilt washed over her. His patience wears thin because their marriage is without intimacy. Unable to find words, she meekly followed him to a small nearby loch.

  With the saddles removed and the horses brushed down, Ella moved to sit under a tree while he stripped down for a swim. With nary a cloud in sight to hinder the summer sun, the overly warm day only increased her overheated state.

  Her husband’s unclad body seemed sculpted like a Greek God, she thought, as she watched him with wide eyes. His muscular form radiated strength, power and supreme athleticism. Her gaze lingered on the well-developed chest sprinkled with dark hair, then drifted lower to the chiseled perfection of his stomach, unbelievably lean and without a trace of fat. As he removed the last article of his clothing, he turned and gave her and enticing view of his the molten bronze skin of his muscular back, as well as his buttocks that looked rock hard.

  He felt rock hard and all due to his wife’s brazen perusal of his body. Did the little innocent wench think him made of stone, to look upon him so boldly without even blinking? Dear God, did she just lick her lips? Without another thought, he dove into the frigid water.

  When he broke the water’s surface, he glanced at the all-too enticing female under the weeping willow tree. Disappointment crossed her features, as if he had taken away her favorite toy. As the throbbing between his legs lessened, he suddenly found himself elated by the desire he saw in his bride.

  His heartbeat quickened when he saw her remove her boots and roll her breeches up to her knees. The sight of her slender legs made him instantly hard again, thinking how they would feel wrapped around his waist.

  The thin white tunic that Eva had made for her, combined with the sun’s helpful rays, allowed him to see her tight fitting chemise. He had asked his sister to make clothes that Ella could ride in, but with maddening realization, he knew he should have been more specific.

  Tavish returned from the Mackenzies a fortnight ago with clothing for Ella. Unfortunately, it did not resemble anything Gavin envisioned when he made the request. His idea had been for a longer tunic, one that would hide those sleek legs and incredibly enticing bottom. Instead, Eva had sent short chemises that covered only half of his wife’s small, perky backside. Without thought, his sister had also fashioned silk, drawstring petticoats that fit tightly and reached only mid thigh. Gavin thought it a jest when he rummaged through the garments, yet after seeing five sets and then reading her note, he realized his mistaken.

  Dearest Gavin,

  I am thrilled that you requested new riding apparel for the remarkable woman, who is now your wife. Since Mother sent Ella’s measurements, they should fit well and be more comfortable than what she owns presently. I used the finest material for the undergarments; which are lightweight and double stitched. The material will cause no irritation to Ella's tender back. The cut of the undergarments will fit easily under her normal riding attire, and pro
vide some protection for her more delicate areas as well as security to others.

  I became so engrossed in my task that I also made her some short sleeve tunics, using a new thin material that I have been experimenting with that appears to be stronger. The new breeches I fashioned are a combination of wool and leather, which makes it more durable for riding.

  Please tell your dear wife that I am so excited to meet her and make her a new wardrobe. There are nae words to express my gratitude for what she did for Gabriel, who continues to sing her praises. Even though I have yet to meet her, she is already incased in my heart and will have my undying love for eternity.

  Give everyone my love.

  Your Darling Sister,

  Eva

  Darling is not the word Gavin used now to describe his sister, mayhap malicious or cruel. His displeasure only intensified when he saw the delight in Ella’s eyes the day he handed her the garments.

  Returning to the present, he now endured the pain of a man who had not touched his wife since their wedding night, but been blessed and cursed with the view of the form fitting breeches that outlined her slender curves.

  His body tensed when the profile of her body came into view. Her flawlessly curved derriere teased while it simultaneously beckoned him.

  Noticing Gavin’s intense look, she asked, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

  “Like what? I only reciprocate yer action moments ago,” he stated with a husky, seductive voice.

  “I was not staring at you,” Ella exclaimed as she plopped down on a boulder and danged her feet into the water. “Well mayhap a little, but that’s only because I have never seen a . . . a . . . naked man before.”

  “At least there is truth to that admission, and I will make one of my own.”

  With the grace of a predator stalking its prey he moved towards her, then took her small feet into his hands, and began to rub the arches with his thumbs.

  “I stare at ye because I want ye more than I have ever wanted a woman afore.”