by Pirateaba
She winced at the mess, but at least they were occupied. Erin edged back to Klbkch, who was still waiting with his group of Antinium.
“Hi, Klbkch. Sorry about the confusion. I had a few visitors pop by unexpectedly.”
“There is no problem, Miss Solstice. I have brought others of my kind as you requested.”
Klbkch nodded to Erin and gestured to the silent Antinium behind him. Erin eyed her new guests somewhat apprehensively.
They were like Klbkch, and not like him at the same time. They were like each other though. Erin couldn’t tell one from the other, and all twelve of these other Antinium stood and moved like one unit.
She noticed that they were a bit slimmer than Klbkch, and shorter too. The color of their…carapace was distinctly browner, and they had shorter antennae. And they also seemed disinclined to talk. Each one of the Antinium stared at Klbkch rather than look at Erin.
“Are they—are they your friends? Or other guardsmen?”
Klbkch shook his head.
“I am afraid you are under a misapprehension. These are Workers, Miss Solstice. They are not fellow guardsmen – rather, they perform tasks within the Antinium section of the city. I took them because you wished for more customers, but I have not interacted with them before.”
“Oh.”
“They will behave themselves under my supervision, Miss Solstice.”
Klbkch hurried to assure Erin. He turned towards the standing group of Worker Antinium and pointed to one of the tables.
“You have entered an inn. The polite protocol is to introduce oneself and then take a seat. I will handle your greetings. Move to those tables.”
They obediently walked over to each table. At first they all crowded around one, but Klbkch impatiently directed them so the Antinium stood four to a table.
“Sit!”
Klbkch snapped at the other Antinium. They instantly sat in the chairs. Erin’s smile slipped even further as Klbkch began ordering them about with curt, clipped commands.
He treated the other Antinium like—well, like sheep. Or…like children. Idiotic children you couldn’t trust to pick up a fork without stabbing themselves in the eye. Yes, that was it.
Erin watched Klbkch out of the corner of her eyes as he lectured the other ‘Workers’. He was telling them how to use a spoon. And how to drink from a cup. And how to request another bowl of flies.
“Um, thanks Klbkch. Did you want me to get the food now? I’ve got the acid flies of course, but I also have pasta—”
Erin’s eyes widened.
“Oh no! The pasta!”
The Goblins and Antinium watched as Erin dashed into the kitchen to salvage the over boiled noodles. She came out a few minutes later holding plates of pasta with chopped bits of sausage and onion which she placed in front of the Goblins.
“Use forks. Got it? Your friend here knows how to use forks.”
Erin pointed at the silverware and then started bringing out bowl after bowl of the acid flies she’d prepared. She set them down in front of the Antinium Workers awkwardly. They moved out of her way, but didn’t say anything.
That was, until Klbkch snapped at them, and then all twelve murmured ‘thank you’ every time Erin brought out a plate and cups. Awkward? Erin was redefining the word for herself at the moment.
That done, the Antinium finally began to eat on Klbkch’s command. At least there they appeared to be somewhat enthusiastic, because they began gobbling the acid flies down with commendable speed. They ate in silence, though, which was also unnerving. But at least they were eating.
Erin breathed a sigh of relief. And the door to the inn swung open.
A familiar Drake poked his head into the room. He immediately launched into what sounded like a prepared speech as he awkwardly held a chess set in front of him.
“Good evening, Miss Erin Solstice! I hope you don’t mind me dropping by, but I was wondering if you’d like to play a game of ch—”
Olesm paused and stared around the silent room. His jaw dropped as he saw the Goblins. When he saw Klbkch and the other Antinium it dropped further. He slowly put one clawed hand on the door.
“…Is this a bad time?”
—-
Erin had gone to funerals. Well, she’d attended a funeral. And while they were solemn, sad occasions, she could rightly say that she’d visited funerals that were noisier than her inn at the moment.
At least funerals had coughing people, the occasional sniffling, fidgeting children, and crying babies. In the Wandering Inn, all Erin could hear was the mastication of Goblins as they gobbled their food or the quiet cracking as the Antinium chewed down their acid flies and clicked their mandibles together.
Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.
Erin stared from the Antinium to the Goblins with a desperately cheerful smile plastered on her face. Neither side looked at the other directly, but she had the distinct impression they were silently sizing each other up. The Goblins to run away, the Antinium…well, they were just looking.
The atmosphere was so tense you could—well, Erin was pretty sure pulling a knife out would be a disaster. The Goblins were nervously eying the Antinium, and the Antinium were frighteningly silent and uniform. They ate and moved in almost perfect synchronization.
Erin circulated the room, pitcher of fruit juice in hand. She filled cups, took away plates and filled them with food, and instructed Goblins not to pick their noses. It felt like being a waitress for an entire restaurant by herself, but Erin was up to the challenge. At least, she hoped she was.
She wasn’t taking orders or cleaning up plates yet. All she was really doing was making sure there was food in front of her guests. The Goblins were easy. They ate anything she put in front of them. But the Workers? They were hard. Erin had to make sure none of them had empty bowls or cups, or they’d just stop eating. They didn’t even ask for refills by themselves.
In a lull between serving, Erin stopped in front of Klbkch and Olesm’s table. The two were talking quietly together, which made them exceptionally noisy in the dead silence.
“How’re you two boys doing?”
Both Olesm and Klbkch looked at each other to make sure they were the ones Erin was talking to. Olesm gave her a weak smile.
“I’m quite well, Miss Solstice. Or—may I call you Erin?”
“Please. I’m getting sick of being called Miss Solstice. I feel like my mom.”
“Apologies.”
Klbkch bowed his head which made Erin feel guilty. She changed the subject fast.
“Are you two enjoying your meal? Anything I can get you?”
“Another glass of the blue juice perhaps?”
Olesm raised his glass and Erin topped it off. He smiled at her.
“It is quite tasty.”
“Thanks.”
They both paused awkwardly. Olesm glanced around the inn and fidgeted.
“Do you—do you always serve Goblins in your inn? I saw the sign, but I must admit, this is the first time I’ve ever seen a Goblin not trying to stab someone or running away.”
As one, the Goblins stopped eating and stared over at Olesm. He flinched.
“Um, no. They’re new here too.”
“Oh, I see.”
More silence. Erin glanced down at the table. The Drake Tactician had brought along his chess board, and although he’d set it aside for the food, she saw him glancing at it now and then.
“How about a game of chess? Anyone want to play?”
Klbkch and Olesm looked up.
“Oh, I would love to play—”
Olesm caught himself. He glanced around guiltily at the other diners.
“But I wouldn’t want to take you away from your work. Perhaps another time.”
He looked so downcast Erin wanted to pat him on the head. She thought for a second and then smiled.
“Oh, don’t worry. We can still make it work. I’ll play you and serve food.”
Both Klbkch and Olesm eyed her incredulously. Erin g
rinned.
“I don’t suppose either of you are familiar with chess notation?”
—-
“Okay, so you’ve moved your pawn up two spots. That’s E4, so just tell me you’re moving a pawn to E4, got it? And when I want to move, I’ll let you know by saying, oh, pawn to D5.”
Olesm nodded and glanced down at the chess board. He carefully moved the black pawn up two spots and looked up at Erin. She nodded.
“Got it?”
“I believe so, Erin.”
“Right. Let’s play!”
Erin spun away from Olesm and grabbed a cup and filled it. Across the room, Klbkch and Olesm bent over the chess board and conferred. Olesm moved a piece.
“Pawn, ah, pawn to F3, Erin.”
“Got it! Knight to C4!”
Erin concentrated on the game as she walked around the inn. She wasn’t conscious of how the Goblins slowed in their eating and the Antinium Workers paused form their meal to follow her around the room. Erin’s thoughts focused, and as she mechanically took plates and filled them with food her mind focused on only one thing.
The game. Some called golf the greatest game ever played. They might be right. But Erin loved chess.
She could even play it in her head.
—-
“Bishop to D6.”
“Hm. In that case I’ll move…um, I believe that’s pawn to D4.”
“Queen to H4! Check!”
Erin said it instantly and grinned to herself. She heard Olesm groan in dismay.
“Ah. Then—then pawn to G3?”
Again, Erin replied almost before he’d finished speaking.
“Bishop takes pawn at G3!”
“Pawn takes bishop at G3.”
“And I’ll take your rook at H1.”
Erin grinned to herself as Olesm hissed in distress. In her mind’s eye she saw her queen piece sitting in the corner of Olesm’s side of the board, nestling right up against all of his lovely, undefended pieces.
The game continued, but only as mop-up. Erin happily munched away at Olesm’s pieces with her queen. He eventually managed to take hers out with his own, but only after he’d lost another knight and a bishop. By then Erin had more pieces than he did on the board and in better positions, too.
“I concede.”
Olesm tipped over his king and stared despondently at the board. Erin paused serving sliced up sausage to the Goblins long enough to see Klbkch pat Olesm on the shoulder consolingly.
“It was a good game.”
The Drake shook his head.
“You do me too much credit. I made several errors that cost me many pieces. But I believe you had me from the start. Would you do the kindness of showing me where I made mistakes?”
“Of course.”
Erin walked over to the table. She rearranged the board until it was back to normal and then moved Olesm’s pawn up two spaces.
“You started out with a classic: the King’s Pawn Opening. That was a good move.”
Olesm looked blankly down at the board.
“I just moved my pawn to E4. Was that truly a noteworthy move, to have a strategy named after it?”
Erin nodded happily.
“Oh, it’s a classic. Did you know almost a quarter of all chess games start with it? It’s great for taking the center spaces, but unfortunately for you I love playing against that move.”
Klbkch raised one hand.
“Do you mean to say that there are established counters to this opening?”
She nodded and pushed a black pawn forwards.
“Oh, there are lots of good strategies. I countered with an old favorite—the Sicilian Defense. It’s great against the King’s Pawn, but you made a mistake when you moved that pawn up to F3. It doesn’t open up your side for many pieces to get out, and you really want a knight to put pressure on my side of the board. Of course, you could try to take my pawn, but that leaves your center open. Most players try to push forwards aggressively but that’s why the Sicilian Defense works so well since it means you have to lose a pawn if you want to push into the other side.”
Erin paused and looked around the inn. Olesm was wearing a half-glazed, half-delighted expression on his face. The Goblins and all the Antinium including Klbkch were staring at her open-mouthed.
“Uh, sorry. I tend to lecture when I get too into chess.”
“No—don’t worry in the slightest Miss Erin.”
Olesm shook his head and smiled at her. His eyes were alive with interest and she noticed his tail wagging like a dog on the ground.
“You have such a deep understanding of this game! How is it that you know so much about chess? I only heard about it last year, yet you say there are strategies already in place?”
“Yes?”
Erin crossed her fingers as Olesm sighed happily. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to explain being from another world. Erin glanced at Klbkch and wondered if she should play him next. Then she looked at Olesm and Klbkch together and had an idea.
She grinned wickedly.
“Yeah, I love playing chess. In fact, I’ll play both of you at the same time, if you want.”
Olesm and Klbkch shared a glance. Both frowned slightly. Well, Olesm frowned and Erin had the distinct impression that Klbkch was frowning.
“Aren’t you taking us a bit too lightly, Erin?”
She blinked innocently at Olesm.
“Me? Of course not. But I bet I can play both of you while serving drinks and food and win against at least one. Want to test my theory?”
They did. Erin grinned to herself as both Olesm and Klbkch set up their pieces on opposite sides of the room. Each player stared intently at their board. She could practically feel the intensity coming off of each. It reminded of her of the adults she used to play as a kid. No one liked being trash-talked by a middle schooler. It was hard for her to keep a straight face.
Klbkch moved first. Erin stared at his board and then decided to move a piece on Olesm’s board while she thought. She circulated the room, filling up the glasses with what little fruit juice she had left. When Olesm made his move Erin decided to hit Klbkch with a knight. And then she went back into the kitchen for more pasta. Those Goblins could eat.
The games continued as Erin filled up bowls with the dead flies and handed them out to the Workers. They happily chomped down the flies, but she had the distinct impression they were watching as she travelled back and forth between Klbkch and Olesm’s boards.
Occasionally, Erin would wait while one of the other two players moved a piece, but when she did move from board to board, she attacked fast, seemingly without pausing to think. She could see Klbkch and Olesm watching her as much as the board, but she effortlessly continued playing both players while serving her guests.
Her audience watched the dual games intently. Erin kept an eye on them as well, and saw both Rags and the Antinium Workers staring hard at Klbkch and Olesm’s pieces. The Goblin’s eyes narrowed and the Antinium appeared confused. Erin smiled to herself, but kept sweeping around the room, refilling cups, and swiftly moving pieces on each board.
Eventually, the game ended with a win for Klbkch and a loss for Olesm.
“Congratulations, Klbkch. And to you, Erin.”
“Indeed. I am quite impressed by your ability.”
Erin smiled at both players and tried not to laugh.
“Yeah, it was a good game. Too bad I wasn’t playing either of you.”
“What?”
She pointed down to the chess board in front of Olesm. His King was cornered by a queen and a bishop.
“Notice anything similar about Klbkch’s board, Olesm?”
He looked over. On Klkbch’s side, he’d cornered Erin’s king with a bishop and a queen. In the exact same spots as the pieces on Olesm’s board.
“What is this?”
“I played you two against each other. It’s the oldest trick in the book—I once heard of a guy who tried it against two Grandmasters and failed. I always
wanted to do it just once.”
Erin smiled as Klbkch and Olesm exclaimed, and then raised her hands as they immediately demanded another match. She was setting up the boards for a real dual game when something happened.
One of the Workers stood up.
Instantly, Klbkch stopped setting up his pieces and let one of his hands fall down to his side. Erin saw he was holding his sword hilt as he stood up.
“What are you doing, Worker?”
Klbkch’s voice was cold and hostile. The Workers meekly bowed to him.
“This one would watch, Propugnator.”
“Watch?”
Klbkch glanced down at the board and then back to the Worker. He seemed uncertain.
“It is impolite to intrude or impede the innkeeper’s path.”
Erin hastily interposed herself between Klbkch and the meek Worker who was already retreating back to his seat. She beckoned him over.
“It doesn’t bother me, Klbkch. Let him watch. An audience for a chess game is great.”
Klbkch hesitated.
“I would not wish to impose on your hospitality or patience—”
“Impose away, by all means!”
Erin rode over his protests and pulled up another chair. She steered the Worker over to the chair without touching him and made him sit down. Then she noticed the other Workers and Goblins were staring at the chess boards too.
“Come on over if you want to watch, all of you.”
Instantly, there was a crowd surrounding both chess boards. Olesm and Klbkch blinked at the spectators, but Erin smiled happily.
“Okay, now let’s do this so it’ll be fun for me and you. I’ll play you both, but we only get five—okay, ten seconds for each move.”
“Is this another way of playing chess?”
“It’s how some games are played, yeah. This style is called Lightning Chess, but in tournaments you can have anywhere from an hour’s time in total to think of all your moves to only three minutes. If we had a clock we could—never mind, I’ll explain it as we play, okay?”