by Pirateaba
Ryoka had tried to ignore them, tried to run on. The stone Teriarch had given her was pointing her further south and far to the west of the Blood Fields, and so she’d followed it despite the faeries’ interference, running through a winter wonderland.
It was a beautiful world Ryoka saw, even tarnished as it was by the flying ice bugs. Here was a landscape never industrialized or paved by machines. And everything was so vast! The forests she ran through were full of towering evergreens far taller than any Christmas tree she’d ever laid eyes on, and she had run through open snow-covered fields that a farmer could have driven a tractor over for an entire day and never reached the end.
On her sixth day, Ryoka ran across a vast, frozen lake so large that she actually had to make camp on it. She didn’t even realize it was a lake until her campfire actually melted the ground underneath it. The Frost Faeries hadn’t done anything to her that day, but they’d blown away all the snow when she woke up so that the sun’s rays made the ice slippery and treacherous.
Nearly ten miles of running on frozen ice had left her sides a mass of bruises. But it was just one misery on top of many.
From the lowlands Ryoka had begun to climb, following the stone, up rolling slopes, higher and higher. The near daily ascents were no worse than some of the runs Ryoka had gone on, but it meant that the faeries could play even more dangerous games. They’d form massive snowballs and roll them down at Ryoka—the powdered snow would hit her hard enough to send her tumbling backwards. Worse, sometimes the faeries would freeze a particularly difficult gradient so everything turned to smooth ice. Ryoka would find herself sliding all the way down, screaming curses that made the faeries laugh and clutch their sides in the air.
That was not the worst though, no. One night Ryoka had woken up just as the faeries dropped a black, squirming mass on top of her. They’d collected every single insect they could find, and the mass of unhappy bugs had covered Ryoka, biting or just trying to crawl into her mouth.
Misery.
But Ryoka refused to get up. She kept moving, kept running, trying to avoid depleting her stock of healing potions. She kept going, gritting her teeth as the faeries undid her boot strings, or tied the laces into knots. She ignored their insults, their continual assaults on her dignity. Until she was nearly at the breaking point.
It had come one day when Ryoka had found the faeries had stolen all of her clothing during the night and hung them on a particularly tall tree. She’d—snapped.
Screaming, throwing rocks, blistering the air with as many foul words as she could think of. The faeries had laughed and flown around her as Ryoka tried to smash their little heads.
Afterwards, Ryoka had just given up. She sat on the ground, desolate, convinced that the instant she tried to climb up for her things the faeries would just blow her off the tree, or snap one of the branches she was on. She’d given up and just sat in the snow, ignoring their remarks and their attempts to get her attention. And then something miraculous had happened.
The Frost Faeries went away.
Perhaps they were bored, perhaps – unlikely but perhaps – they had had a shred of mercy for her, or most probably they’d seen something interesting. All Ryoka knew was that they had left, and when she was sure they weren’t just hiding to betray her hopes, she’d gotten her things and began running, blissfully unhindered.
The faeries had come back when she was feeling better, three days later. And when they did, they’d been unrelenting as before. Ryoka had run on though, running and running until the day when they decided to drop as much snow as possible on her, burying her in a huge mound. She’d thought that was the end of it, until she’d heard the scraping and seen a furry face peering down at her curiously from above. The Gnoll had growled something, and then had come more sounds, light and warmth and—
Poke.
Ryoka snapped out of her memories and looked around. Had she dozed off? She was sitting in front of the fire in the Stone Spears camp, only it was later, the bowl of ointment was empty, the fish was blackened bones in the fire and a small Gnoll was sitting next to her, staring curiously at Ryoka’s face.
“What?”
The young woman blinked as she laid eyes on the young Gnoll. It was young, and it was a Gnoll, unless there were Gnoll dwarfs as well. But Ryoka suspected this was a child anyways, because the young Gnoll had that mix of curiosity and boundless energy that appeared in some children. And she was looking at Ryoka.
“Hrr?”
The Gnoll reached out and gingerly poked Erin in the side with one finger. That wasn’t bad, but Gnolls had claws, even the young ones. Ryoka twitched, and the Gnoll jumped back a bit.
“Stop that.”
Either the Gnoll child didn’t understand her, or didn’t care. Ryoka saw the Gnoll move out of sight, but refused to turn her head. She stared back into the fire, and then felt something prickling her back.
Poke, poke.
Ryoka’s left eye twitched. The young Gnoll looked delighted, and she reached out to poke Ryoka again.
“Stop.”
The young Gnoll’s questing paw was suddenly seized as Ryoka spun round and grabbed her hand. The Gnoll looked at Ryoka wide-eyed.
Ryoka stared down into two frightened eyes and felt like a monster. She released the child. All the hair on the young Gnoll went up and it—she fled, yipping like a dog.
“Hrm. Apologies. Mrsha is young and she does not know boundaries yet.”
The girl looked up and saw Urksh approaching, another bowl in his hands. This one was full of some kind of flatbread and lentils. Ryoka’s stomach growled and she stood up, legs pins and needles to speak to the Gnoll.
“I’m…sorry about that. I didn’t meant to scare her.”
The older Gnoll shrugged.
“Better to be scared than to be unwary, yes? She will return sooner than you will like. But her curiosity did some good this day, I think.”
“How so?”
Urksh pointed, and Ryoka looked across the bustling camp. Mrsha, the young Gnoll was hiding around one of the Gnoll tents. She disappeared when Ryoka met her eyes.
“She was the one who found you, yes? The young ones, they have the best noses. She smelled you while others were gathering food.”
Ryoka frowned as she saw a bushy tail poking out from behind the tent. Apparently that nose was good enough to smell Ryoka underneath five feet of snow.
“Well I’m…grateful. Ah, did the faeries…?”
“We have not seen them since they first left you. Do not worry. Here; eat. You must regain strength.”
The Chieftain handed Ryoka the bowl, and sat next to her. Ryoka ate awkwardly and tried to chat. She had many questions and the Gnoll Chieftain was a good host, but after only a few minutes Ryoka felt a prickling on the back of her neck.
That wasn’t unusual; most of the Gnolls stared at her back. But only one of them was actually brave enough to poke at her neck with an experimental claw.
Ryoka turned.
“What?”
Mrsha froze as she reached up towards one of Ryoka’s ears. Urksh growled and said something in the Gnoll’s language—Mrsha fled again. Ryoka turned back to the Chieftain and accepted his apologies, but five minutes later the young Gnoll was back, this time hiding behind a drying hide and watching Ryoka.
She was insatiably curious. Not just about Ryoka’s skin, but her hair and clothing as well. Gnolls were light dressers even in the winter, and so Ryoka’s layers of padded clothing were fascinating to the young Mrsha.
“Apologies, Ryoka Griffin. Her parents, they are both warriors and guarding the [Miners], yes? We must watch her and she is very interested in you, I think.”
Urksh sat back down at the fire after chasing Mrsha off. Ryoka nodded. She’d gotten a good glimpse of how the Stone Spears tribe lived, but she was curious about Gnolls in general.
“Do all Gnolls live in tribes?”
The Chieftain looked surprised at the question. He hesitated.
&nbs
p; “Some do not. They live in cities, yes? They have given up their tribe and are outsiders, but we do speak with them. Why?”
Why? Ryoka nearly smiled. She was full of good food, warm, and not being hounded. And she was sitting next to a species like Humans but unlike them in so many ways. Why? Why everything. She wanted to know all there was about Gnolls and how they lived.
But Ryoka was so tired that after finishing the food her head was already nodding. Urksha smiled.
“There is time for talk tomorrow, yes? For now, accept our hospitality, Ryoka Griffin.”
He led her back through the camp, towards a tent the Gnolls had set up for her. It was a tall, circular construction and reminded Ryoka much of a Mongolian yurt. She stumbled inside, and fell asleep at once.
—-
The next day, Ryoka woke up to a rough sensation—almost like someone was rubbing a washcloth over her face. She opened her eyes and sat up—only to find two brown eyes staring into hers.
“What the hell?”
The Gnoll cub jumped and fled as Ryoka sat up. Her small room was completely trashed, and as Mrsha pulled back the flap, Ryoka realized the Gnoll child had taken some of Ryoka’s things. More accurately, she was wearing some of Ryoka’s things.
“Give me back my bra.”
Mrsha peered back at Ryoka with the bra hanging loose around the Gnoll’s own chest. She’d somehow gotten it off Ryoka during the night, along with all of the clothes Ryoka had fallen asleep in. She’d gotten off all of Ryoka’s clothes and it was only a small mercy that she hadn’t gotten to Ryoka’s underwear.
“Mrsha. Give. That. Back.”
The Gnoll hesitated. She looked at Ryoka, at the tent flap, and Ryoka, and yelped as the girl charged at her.
The Gnolls of the Stone Spear tribe saw Mrsha dashing out of the Human’s tent early in the morning, and then saw the Human in question a second later. Ryoka dove out of the tent flap and seized Mrsha as the young Gnoll tried to escape.
It was hard to wrest the bra back from the young Gnoll without breaking the fabric or hurting the young Gnoll, who was clearly expecting to be thrashed by the way she was struggling to get away. But after a minute Ryoka had her bra, and stood up…only to realize that she really should have put on another bra and some clothes before going after her missing one.
Half of the young Gnolls in the camp stared avidly at Ryoka, as well as some of the older Gnolls, although some were polite enough to look away. But all of the adults chuckled, aside from Urksh, who scowled and chased after the Mrsha as she fled.
Ryoka stomped back into her tent and emerged fifteen minutes later, fully clothed, much to the disappointment of some of the Gnolls. Urksh was waiting for her, with a sulking Mrsha helping to debone fish under the eye of a watchful old Gnoll.
“Apologies again. I hope your sleep was not interrupted until now? Our sentries saw no signs of anything during the night, and we have lit more fires. They should keep away the sprites, yes?”
Perhaps. Ryoka could only shrug. She didn’t know anything that would keep away the Frost Faeries, aside from not being invited in somewhere. Erin had said Pisces had tried to scare them off with fire and they’d nearly buried the inn.
“You should eat. Here.”
Again, the Gnoll handed Ryoka a bowl, this time of fishy soup and a side dish of dried beef. She ate it gratefully, although Ryoka was tickled by the inclusion of a meat side to go with fish. Did Gnolls consider fish to be the equivalent of a vegetable or something?
Ryoka had just finished scraping the bottom of her bowl with a wooden spoon when she heard sniffing. She saw Mrsha at her side, sniffing at Ryoka’s hair curiously. The Gnoll backed up on all fours in alarm when Ryoka turned, but the girl just sighed.
“It’s alright.”
She wasn’t even that mad at the young Gnoll. Ryoka sighed as she tried to grind away at the tough, dried meat. She didn’t hate kids; it was just that she couldn’t deal with them. So she ignored the Gnoll as best she could as the youngster prowled around Ryoka, sniffing, touching, poking, and even licking once.
“Stop that.”
Ryoka pushed at the young Gnoll, and felt the heavy body shift only a little. Even Gnoll kids were heavy. She frowned at Mrsha, but then realized the child wasn’t looking at her for once, but upwards.
And so was every Gnoll in the camp. They’d all gone still, the entire Stone Spears tribe, over fifty Gnolls all staring at the sky. Silent. Watching.
Ryoka froze, and then felt the happiness of the day leave in an instant. She turned, and saw them.
Faeries.
They were circling in the blue morning sky like vultures, and even as Ryoka watched, the clear skies suddenly grew darker as clouds formed above her head. She stared upwards, eyes empty, and dropped the piece of meat she’d been chewing.
“So much for a break.”
When she’d started to run, Ryoka had been full of defiance, ready to ignore and endure whatever the faeries could do. But they were beings of forever, and she was just a mortal. In just a week they’d nearly shattered her spirit.
She had a mission, a job, a delivery to run. But it was so hard. Ryoka was just tired. So tired, she wanted to give up and go home. Only there wasn’t really any home, was there? Just an inn, and Ryoka couldn’t go back. Not empty-handed, and not with…
She looked up into the sky. The Gnoll’s fire hadn’t warded off the faeries long, if they’d even been bothered by the flames. One day of respite. That was…enough, she supposed. The faeries were descending, and now Ryoka could see the expressions on their tiny faces. For once she wished she didn’t have 20/20 vision.
They were smiling. For some reason, Ryoka couldn’t even get mad at that. This was what faeries were; fickle, tempestuous, but not evil. Just…themselves.
She stood up. The Gnolls were still watching the Frost Faeries warily, but she could see several, including Urksh, holding weapons. She couldn’t let them fight. The faeries might not kill – or maybe they did – but they’d destroy this camp in seconds.
So Ryoka stood up. She looked at the faeries.
“Come on then. What are you waiting for?”
All of her belongings were in the hut. Ryoka could probably grab them in a few seconds – hopefully the faeries wouldn’t scatter them to the far winds. Then she’d be out of the camp and running. That way only she’d go through whatever the faeries were planning. It would be wrong to get the Gnolls buried by an avalanche, especially if they tried to interfere.
Ryoka felt a churning in her stomach at the thought of more days and nights being hounded. But that was life. That was her life and it was how things were. Maybe this was hell. But it was probably just punishment. For everything.
One of the fairies spiraled downwards and looked at Ryoka.
“Having fun with the dog people, mortal? We do not fear their fire and their camp is open for all. But you know, if you grovel, we might relent and not bury everything in snow.”
Ryoka stared up at the faerie, vaguely surprised. That wasn’t how they normally greeted her. An insult and a face full of snow was more customary.
“Piss off.”
She waited, but the Frost Faerie didn’t attack. Instead, the little fey only frowned a bit.
“Are ye sure? If ye bow yer head a little bit we’ll relent.”
Now that was suspicious. Ryoka narrowed her eyes upwards. Her brain, inactive for so long from running and just surviving, began to spin back into gear.
“I’m not doing anything. And if you were going to attack me, you wouldn’t care what I did. What’s stopping you?”
The faerie hesitated.
“Naught but a little thing. But we decided that mercy would be best, even for a useless mortal like you.”
Ryoka just raised an eyebrow. The fairy pouted, blowing up her cheeks.
“Well, we owe a small favor. A tiny favor, really. We promised to forgive your attack, and so we shall. But a bit of groveling would help, mortal.”
The mortal fool ignored that while her mind raced. What had the faerie just said? A favor? A faerie’s favor? That was incredible, odd, and suspicious all at once. But the fey didn’t lie, or if they did, not often, and Ryoka assumed they were telling the truth. Then who would be able to get them to stop bothering her and how…?
Her eyes narrowed. Ryoka looked up at the faeries.
“…Erin.”
—-
She did it. I don’t know how, but she did it. Erin managed to earn the favor of the fey, and I…
Damn me, but I’m jealous.
And weary. Bone-weary. I just wish I could rest.
The faeries left me alone after that. Oh, they tried to get me to bow down and beg for forgiveness and dance for their amusement, but it seems like my punching one of them really is forgiven. Whether that means I’m immune to their normal pranks is different; I already saw them lift an arrow out of a Gnoll’s quiver and use it to spear one of the caught fish and carry it off.
Should I leave the tribe? Urksh tells me everything’s alright and maybe it is. But I’m still tired.
So tired.
Some days…are like that. In fact, most days back home felt very much like today. It’s the emptiness that I remember. It was that empty void in my chest; that lack.
The lack of anything to live for.
How can I describe it? It’s like being tired, but only in my heart. My body can feel as fresh and rested as I please, but there’s nothing in my mind, no burning passion in my soul. There’s nothing I want to do and nothing I want to strive for.
That’s what I remember most about growing up.
There’s a void in my heart, an empty little hole that sucks feelings into it. It waits, a small little creature growing bigger by the day until it will devour me entirely. The great beast of not caring.
Or perhaps it’s the whisper of my despair. Greater yet.
I am worthless. It’s true. Undeniably true.