“That’s why I want a few minutes to talk to you.” Carl turned once more to Fynn who still hadn’t run off. “You know who Alden is, right? Tall guy, gray hair, owns a good section of Toronto.”
“I think it would be best if Sophia and I stuck together.” Fynn’s hands were at his sides, his fingers flexing and relaxing repeatedly. He was the one wildcard in all this. Fynn had gone from feeling guilty about tonight to being pissed off. The last thing we needed was for him to knock Carl out. “We’ll be better able to sell the show that way. I’m shit with this PR stuff.”
“You’ll be fine. I need to review the key points I want Sophia to make during her speech.”
Speech.
Right. I was supposed to talk to people. And say things. Hopefully something more intelligent than “Hi! Thanks for coming. Can we have some cash?” Which was basically all I’d managed to write over the past few days. Struggling to find the right words wasn’t a problem I normally had. Hell, I could talk a lamppost bored if I put my mind to it. So why I’d found it difficult to put into words exactly what Trinity House meant to me was weird.
That was until I knew my dad was coming.
The blasted muscle in Fynn’s jaw jumped again, which meant he was growing annoyed. I reached out and gave Fynn’s arm a quick squeeze. “It’s fine. Carl and I can review this quick and then I’ll come over and find you.”
Fynn didn’t wait to ask permission, but took me from Carl’s side a few feet away. “I don’t like the idea of you being left alone with him. We’re not sure what kind of crap he’s going to pull.”
While he knew I didn’t feel comfortable with Carl, I didn’t think there was much reason for him to be that concerned. I figured the worst thing that would happen was he’d use my dad as some sort of dramatic reveal, something to throw me off or highlight the importance of the shelter. I was ready for it, ready for him.
“We know what he’s got up his sleeve. If it looks like he’s not letting me go, or if I’m getting hauled over to talk up some creep, I’d appreciate it if you’d come rescue me.” I patted his chest in a friendly gesture, but really I wanted to touch him.
Fynn snorted. “I’ve yet to see you require rescuing.”
“I’m pretty badass.” I grinned and sashayed my way back to Carl. “Okay, let’s review this so I can enjoy the free champagne.”
Carl looked between me and Fynn. I don’t know if he suspected something was up, or if he simply didn’t like being out of the loop, but the way he narrowed his gaze wasn’t encouraging. “Everything okay with you two?”
“Yeah, of course. I promise I’ve only been annoying Fynn a little bit.” I pushed a stray piece of hair from my eyes and gave Carl a coy little grin. “I’m determined to win him over with my charm.”
Fynn let out a soft little growl. “You like to live dangerously.”
And as quick as a three count, I was ready to come on the spot. Fuck, I hated that he could turn me on that quickly. It couldn’t be normal for a man to do that to me. Not that Fynn was some random dude I’d been banging. We spent every single day together, chatting, working. Hell, I’d even managed to get him to smile when I’d teased him. The sex was awesome, but it wasn’t even the thing I loved most about being around him.
Love? Huh.
No, it was too soon for that. There’d been no bolt of lightning that had hit me, no overwhelming surge of emotion that made me need to have him “right now or I’m going to die.” Sure, my insides turned a bit gooey whenever I looked at him, and I found myself thinking about what he was doing whenever he wasn’t around, but that wasn’t love.
Was it?
My thoughts were jarred as Carl hauled me to the side of the room and blocked my field of vision. His eyes were still narrowed and his grip far harder than it needed to be. “What’s going on between the two of you?”
“Nothing that concerns the show.” I jerked my arm out of his grasp and rubbed at where he’d held me. “I like Fynn and respect him. I wouldn’t do anything that would hurt him or the show.”
“I would hope not. Despite what you seem to think, this project isn’t about you or what you want. It’s a business. Mine. And I won’t stand for some prima donna causing me problems.”
I didn’t have a huge temper, but when someone pissed me off, it was better for them to get the hell out of my way. “What the hell is your problem with me? I’ve done everything you’ve wanted on this show. I’ve never once pushed back on any of your requests, or contradicted Brian or Fynn. You came to me about headlining the show. So why aren’t you trusting me to do my job?”
His half step brought him fully into my personal space. “Because you’re a young flake. I’ve seen hundreds of girls like you over my twenty years in this business. You’re here today and tomorrow no one remembers your name. It’s men like Fynn who last. People who leave an impression on people, who have skills and are capable of doing more than leaving a pillow on a couch. You’re a necessity, but you’re easily replaceable.”
It would have been less painful to have been punched in the gut.
“So your speech will be short and sweet. You’ll smile and flirt with the crowd like you’re supposed to. You’ll ask them to support our cause and then you’ll talk up Fynn. You’ll tell them that he’s been the real force behind this project. You’ll make everyone love Fynn because he’s the real star. He’s the one who’ll have his own show after this. The one who’ll endorse the hardware chains, products. I’ll broker those deals and will get my cut. I’ll make us both rich and Fynn will be indebted to me. Do you understand now?”
Oh I understood—Fynn was the gravy train and I was simply a spike in the track. “Crystal clear.”
Pushing away from Carl I blindly worked my way through the people milling around. It didn’t make sense for Carl to bitch me out that way only to plan on using my dad against me. Maybe Fynn had been wrong about what he’d heard. Or maybe he’d been trying to keep me from coming because he knew what Carl intended all along.
That thought had me stopping dead in my tracks. Fynn had been reluctant to start anything with me from day one. Maybe he wanted to keep his distance because he knew from the get-go that I wasn’t going to be around long. That didn’t explain the pained look in his eyes or the intensity when we had sex.
None of this made sense.
I made my way back out into the main room. I smiled at a few people as I tried to locate Fynn in the crowd. It took a minute, but I finally saw him standing to the side having an animated conversation with Brian, who was looking more freaked out than normal. Fynn eventually looked my way, though he continued speaking. Brian also turned to stare, but there was something clearly upsetting him. Instead of Fynn crossing the room to join me, Brian did, looking more than a little nervous.
“Hey, Sophia. I’m glad you were able to make it. I was worried when you and Fynn were late showing up.” He gave my arm a gentle squeeze before letting me go. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I should have kept my mouth shut, but I figured I didn’t have much to lose at this point. “Except Carl was a complete asshole to me. He pretty much told me that he’s using Fynn to snag endorsement contracts. How can he even make money that way?”
“Carl is Fynn’s manager when it comes to television and ad. Fynn might be the boss when it comes to his business, but early on he signed over control to Carl for the other stuff.”
It made sense. Why Carl was so bent on protecting Fynn’s reputation, why Fynn didn’t trust Carl and yet still seemed to do everything the little weasel wanted. Fynn’s hands were tied as much as mine were.
“I know you’re supposed to be mingling and stuff, but I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute.” Brian looked even more nervous than normal. He wasn’t normally one to put himself out there, so I could appreciate how an event like this wouldn’t be something he’d naturally excel at.
“Sure. I don’t mind making Carl sweat a little.” If tonight wasn’t so importan
t to Trinity House, I would have simply left. But despite what Carl thought of me, I wasn’t a selfish flake. If I never got another reality show after this was done, then so be it. I’d still have helped the shelter, and in the end, that’s what mattered.
“Let’s go out on the balcony. It’s a bit quieter there.”
The breeze had died down, and the air was still warm enough to keep me from being cold. Brian stood a bit to the side, his hands pushed deep into his pockets. I never really got a good feel for the man, as he pretty much kept to himself when he wasn’t setting up our shots.
“What’s up?” I wished I’d grabbed another glass of champagne before coming out there. Tonight was already wearing me down.
“I know quite a bit about your history with Trinity House.” Brian kept his gaze averted and even took another step away from me.
“It really wasn’t that big of a secret. Not that I talk a lot about it.”
“You were five when you went there with your mom. You were a tiny little thing, but you had such a big voice.”
My heart was pounding, though I really didn’t know why. “What are you talking about?”
Brian ran his hand through his hair and let out a sound that could have been a chuckle, but sounded sadder than anything. “I need you to understand, I didn’t know who you were before I signed on to do this show. I’d resigned myself to the fact that I’d screwed up that part of my life and owed it to everyone involved to stay the hell away.”
I should have been sick to my stomach, but instead my entire body had grown numb. I understood the words Brian was telling me, but the weight of their meaning wasn’t filtering through my head. “Brian—” I licked my lips “—what are you saying?”
When he finally met my gaze, everything settled into my brain. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with my dad when I was little. He’d been in and out of our home, drunk more times than not. Mom would shove me into my bedroom if things were bad. But on the rare occasion when he’d been sober, I remembered climbing onto his lap to watch the hockey game. He always looked so sad.
I remembered the yelling most of all. Not his, but my mom’s. She was always angry at him and I knew it was because of his drinking. Mom told me when I got older that he’d spent all their money on alcohol, leaving them nothing for food. We’d had no immediate family in Toronto, which meant Mom was forced to find help from wherever she could—food banks, friends and eventually Trinity House.
Brian stepped back against the wall, as far from me as the small balcony would allow. “When you and your mom left me, I hit rock bottom. I drank myself to the point of nearly dying. It was only luck that I lived long enough to get checked into rehab.”
“You kicked us out.” His words were forever burned into my brain. “You didn’t want us.” You didn’t want me.
His eyes were filled with tears, but none fell down his face. “How much do you remember of that night?”
I wanted nothing more than to yell, scream at him for the misery he’d put us through, but it refused to bubble over. “You and Mom fighting. You telling us to get out and to never come back.”
He nodded once, looking to the floor. “I’ve always been scared that’s what you’d say. I never wanted to be the villain in your life.”
“Why didn’t you want us?” Why didn’t you want me, Daddy?
“Oh, baby, I wanted you more than anything in the world. But I was sick. Your mom and I did fight that night. We did that a lot and I’m ashamed to say I started most of them. I’d taken some money that she’d saved up to buy you a present for your birthday, spent it on booze. When she found out, she was livid. It was the first time I realized that maybe I’d screwed up. That I had a problem and I didn’t know how to fix it.”
“Why did you tell us to leave then? We could have helped you.” My heart pounded and my hands shook as I spoke. I’d spent most of my life hating him, thinking him to be nothing more than a heartless asshole. My memories were painted with the brush of a confused, scared child who didn’t get what had been happening.
“You have to understand, for a long time I was in a place where I didn’t want to be helped. That didn’t come until after you’d both left.” Brian swallowed hard, no longer meeting my gaze. “That night, your mom gave me an ultimatum—the alcohol or you. I couldn’t have both. I couldn’t be a father or husband and be drunk all the time. I told her to get out not because I didn’t want you, not because I didn’t want to get sober, but because I didn’t know who I’d become once I’d stopped drinking. I was terrified that the sober me would have nothing to offer either of you. Or that I’d be worse than when I was drunk.”
“But why wouldn’t you let—” He held up his hand, stopping my words.
“Sweetheart, I only did two good things when it came to my family. Having you, and knowing that I had to let you both go. When I finally sobered up, I realized the hell I’d put you and your mom through. I spent money we didn’t have. I yelled and screamed for no reason. I couldn’t hold a job down. I gave your mother no option but to leave and try her luck with strangers. If it hadn’t been for the shelter, I don’t think things would have turned around as quickly as they did for both of you.”
Brian, the too-quiet, ever-efficient director of our crazy little show was the man who’d driven my mother to Trinity House in the first place. The man who I’d sometimes thought about when I’d catch a hockey game on television, wondering if he’d ever chased away his demons. I’d always thought if I ever came face-to-face with my dad again, that I’d get angry. His drinking had put our lives into a tailspin, and the heartbreak hurt Mom.”
“I gave her the divorce she asked for and I promised her I’d leave you both alone. I’ve often wondered about the type of woman you’d grown into, but I never wanted hurt either of you again or disrupt your life by coming back into it. I do want you to know that I’ve been sober for eighteen years now. I don’t ever plan to drink again.”
Standing here, looking at how nervous he was, I knew that he’d leave if I gave any indication that I didn’t want him in my life. Somehow that made everything a bit easier to handle. I took a deep breath and a step closer to him.
“So you didn’t know I was your daughter when you took this job?”
“I knew this was the place you and your mom went after she left me. For a while after the divorce and my rehab I would talk to her, just to make sure you were both okay. But I stopped when she met your stepdad, and you both took on his last name. I haven’t even seen a picture of you since you were six. When Carl mentioned he was doing this show, that he’d discovered this great new designer but needed an experienced director to run things, I said yes. I wanted to repay the kindness that was shown to the two of you in some way.”
“When did you suspect?”
Brian grimaced. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t. Carl was the one who told me. I think he’d known all along and that’s why he’d requested me for the show. He’d been planning something like this from day one.”
“Fynn overheard Carl talking about my dad and tonight. He gave me the heads-up so I wouldn’t be caught off guard.”
Brian smiled and gave a nod. “Fynn’s a good man. I just came clean to him, wanting his advice. He encouraged me to come speak to you.”“
Something else I’d have to thank Fynn for. My mind was buzzing with questions I wanted to ask, things I wanted to tell him. “Shit, I think I’m going to cry.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do this to you tonight. But the thought of Carl hurting you, putting you on the spot that way, of embarrassing you, I couldn’t do it. I promised myself that I’d never hurt you again.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I mean I just...you’re my dad. I’ve been working with you for months. You’d think I would have known it was you.” What kind of daughter did that make me? I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. “Do you still watch hockey?”
Brian laughed a single tear streaming down his face. “What?”
“You know, hockey? Stick
s, pucks, fights?”
“Yeah. Every game I can. You?”
“Hell, yeah. I record the games I can’t see and promise to kill anyone who ruins the score.”
“That’s good.” He smiled and moved away from the wall. “Maybe sometime we can try and catch a game together. If you want.”
“Maybe.” My head wanted to accept everything Brian had said as the truth. I’d worked with this man for months and liked him for who he was. My heart, however, knew it might need more time to sort through everything. “Once the show is done, we can chat about it. Okay?”
“That’s more than I ever dreamed of.”
Applause and Carl’s voice echoed in from the other room. I poked my head through the door. “It looks like he’s getting ready to roll out his plan.”
“I suspect he plans to announce our relationship during your speech. He wanted to make sure the cameras were set on you. He probably gave you that little speech about Fynn to rile you up and throw you off so you’d be even more surprised when he told you who I was.”
The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene and ruin our chances of getting financial backers. But I wasn’t about to let Carl win. “I have to give a speech about how Trinity House has helped my family.” I turned and grinned. “Come with me and we’ll steal Carl’s thunder. I’ll introduce you as my father and we can tell our story together. How’s that sound?”
Brain smiled and held out his arm. “Amazing.”
Before I took it, I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a tight hug. “Thank you.”
It took him a second, but he finally hugged me in return. “For what?”
“For looking out for me when I needed you.”
“Consider it a start. Making up for our rough past.”
I finally let him go, wiped my tears away and slipped my arm through his. “Let’s do this.”
When we stepped into the room the first thing I saw was Carl standing in the front of the room talking to the group. The second was Fynn standing off to the side. His frown as he watched Brian and I walk in quickly morphed into smile and a nod. All I could do was shrug as we stepped into the spotlight, interrupting Carl.
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