by P. C. Cast
Okay, I’d meant to tell Stark about me tasting Aurox’s blood, and that it was really hard for me when I caught glimpses of Heath peeking out from inside Aurox, and that I did actually still love Heath and him. But even with all of those ands I’d decided that I just couldn’t handle having more than one boyfriend at a time. Instead I didn’t get to say any of that because Stark pulled me into his arms.
“I’m so damn glad you picked me!” he whispered.
I could feel that he was trembling, so I held him and whispered, “Me, too.” Then he was kissing me with a need that burned so hot that I couldn’t think about what I’d meant to say. All I could think about was his touch and how much I loved him.
It was later, after the sun had risen and Stark slept soundly beside me, his arm draped across my body, his side pressed intimately against me, that my mind started to work again, and I knew I had to talk to Aurox.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Zoey
It wasn’t hard to slide Stark’s arm off me and sneak out of bed. Stark was totally passed out. I didn’t think an exploding bomb would wake him up. Still, I meditated on how sparkly my new phone cover was as I got dressed and tiptoed from the room.
A bomb might not wake Stark up, but my emotions going crazy probably would.
Thankfully, no one was around. Even though it was midmorning the sky was the color of a bruise and it smelled like spring thunderstorms. On the way to the field house I noticed the wisteria planted along parts of the school wall was budding up with big purple bunches of blossoms. Then I sneezed. Yep, thunderstorms, flowers, and allergies. Spring had to be coming to Oklahoma.
I went into the field house through the stables and paused in the hall between buildings, breathing deeply of horse and hay and trying to keep my emotions calm.
I’m just going to be honest. It’ll hurt his feelings more if I stretch this out and avoid him. Heath would understand.
I snorted a laugh at myself. No, Heath would not understand. Heath would tell me, “We belong together, babe!” and ignore the fact that I was breaking up with him. Again.
Kalona was standing by himself in the hallway outside the entrance to the basement.
“Zoey, you’re up late,” he said as he fisted his hand over his heart and gave me a little bow.
I hadn’t seen him since he’d cut Dallas’s head off and flown away with two fledglings struggling under his arms. He didn’t look any different. I suppose I shouldn’t expect him to. Still, I couldn’t help being morbidly curious. “Hi,” I said. “So, how’d things go with the two fledglings?”
“As they were meant to go.”
“Are they, you know, dead?”
Kalona shrugged, causing his massive wings to rustle. “I left them in the middle of the Tall Grass Prairie. With the storms covering the sun they might last the day, but they certainly will not last another.”
“Are you going to take care of their bodies?”
He shook his head. “Coyotes will do that job for me.”
“That’s really cold,” I said.
“Justice often seems cold. That is not a trait Thanatos and I originated. Judging, condemning, and carrying out justice is not pleasant. Is it not this country whose symbol for justice is a blind maiden holding scales of judgment?”
“Uh, I don’t think that’s because she’s cold. I think that’s because justice shouldn’t be based on the way a person looks or who he or she is—it should be based on the facts.”
“I do not understand the distinction you are making.”
“Nevermind.” I gave up. “I’m looking for Aurox. Have you seen him?”
“It was his turn to patrol the school perimeter. If you go out the front entrance to the field house, he should be circling back around shortly.”
“Okay, great. Uh, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention to anyone that I was looking for—”
Kalona held up a hand, cutting me off. “I will not tell tales to your Warrior.”
I thought about correcting him and saying that wasn’t it at all, that I just didn’t want fledglings to be gossiping about Aurox and me, but my mouth wouldn’t form the lie, so I sighed and said, “Yeah, thanks.” And then I scurried away.
No one was out in the front side of the school, either, and I found a bench not far from the field house door. While I sat and waited for Aurox, I watched the thunderclouds get closer and thought about what Kalona had said.
Maybe he was right. Judging others wasn’t pleasant. There was a time when I would have also thought judging others was wrong, but I’d agreed with Thanatos in her condemnation. I suppose I even agreed with her penalty. So, did that make me a hypocrite when, afterward, I felt all squeamish and disgusted? Or did that make me humane? Or did it make me too damn dense to ever be a decent High Priestess?
“Zoey? Is everything okay?”
I hadn’t heard Aurox approach, so it was a shock to look from the thunderclouds to his moonbeam eyes. I blinked and shook myself, trying to refocus and at least do this one thing right.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just needed to talk to you. Is now a good time?”
“Of course.” He gestured toward the bench beside me and nodded, “Oh, yeah, go ahead and sit down.”
He sat and I tried not to fidget or pick at my fingernail polish.
“It looks like it’s going to rain,” I said. “And I think I just heard thunder off in the distance.”
“The scent of lightning is in the air,” he agreed.
I relaxed a little. That was definitely not something Heath would have said. “I never thought about lightning smelling like anything, but you’re probably right. Thunder and lightning go together.”
“Zo, what’s up?”
My eyes went to his. Yep. Heath was definitely in there. “I can’t drink your blood again.”
“But you want to,” he said.
“Aurox, no one gets everything they want.”
“But this isn’t everything, it’s just a small part of everything.”
“If I really drank your blood, we’d make love. We’d probably Imprint. That wouldn’t be a small thing to me or you or Stark.”
“It’s Stark, then. He’s the reason why you won’t be with me,” Aurox said.
“No. It’s me. I can’t be with two guys at the same time.”
“And you will not choose me over Stark because I am not Heath.”
“I won’t choose you over Stark because I’m already committed to Stark,” I said firmly.
“It’s because I’m not good enough for you—because of how I was made—what I can be.”
I put my hand over his. “No, Aurox. Please don’t think that. You’re not to blame for any of that, and I don’t think about that when I’m with you.”
“What do you think about?”
I smiled, even though I felt sad, and continued to tell him the truth. “I think about how glad I am that you’re here. I also think you and Heath make a really good team.”
“You know we love you,” he said.
“I know.” I spoke softly, and pulled my hand from his. “I’m sorry.”
“Where do we go from here?”
“I want to be friends,” I said.
“Friends.” The word sounded so flat when he repeated it.
“Yeah, and Stark’s not going to act crazy around you anymore,” I said.
“Zo, that’s because he doesn’t have any reason to.” Aurox leaned over, kissed my cheek, and then sounding completely defeated, said, “Would you let Kalona know I am going to check the perimeter again?”
“Yeah, sure…” I said to his back as he sprinted away toward the school’s stone wall.
I stood, feeling heavy and super, super tired. Well I told him the truth, but it definitely sucked. Trying not to think about anything but sleep, because the last thing I needed was for Stark to be awake and asking where I’d been and what had made me feel so crappy. I retraced my way into the field house and down the hallway that led to the entr
ance of the basement. Kalona wasn’t standing there. I sighed and stuck my head into the field house. He wasn’t there, either. Guessing that he was in the basement doing a quick check on the sleeping kids, I padded back toward the stairway.
“Yes, I’ve been watching Zoey like I said I would.”
At first when I heard my name I stopped because I was surprised. The voice drifted from the stable area, coming from the half-opened door that separated the hallway between the field house and the barn.
“And? For shit’s sake, do I have to ask you everything?”
Then I realized who was talking about me, and I crept closer, listening in disbelief.
“And her colors got super crazy during the funeral. But I think I know why, and it doesn’t have anything to do with her losing control of her temper or her powers.”
“Shaylin, you’re making my ass hurt. Just tell me what you saw.”
There was a long pause. I heard Shaylin blow out a long breath and then my insides went cold as the Prophetess told Aphrodite, “I saw her looking at Aurox. A lot. Her colors were crazy. That made me think—so when she and Aurox went to the cafeteria together after the circle casting, I followed them.”
“Shit, Shaylin! You’re not a Prophetess, you’re a super spy!” Aphrodite said, laughing. “Tell me that Z and Bull Boy did the nasty.”
I bit my lip to keep from screaming.
“Almost. The two of them are definitely all into each other. She sucked blood from his finger.”
“That’s practically doing it for Zoey, and oh crap. That’s too fucking close to what I saw. Then, let me guess, her colors went crazy? All confused and frustrated and pissed?”
“Totally. Especially after she—”
I’d heard enough.
“Shut up!” I yelled. My chest was burning as hot as my face as I slapped my hand against the door, making it fly open and smack against the wall.
“Uh-oh,” Aphrodite said.
“Zoey! This isn’t what you think!” Shaylin said, backing away from me as I came into the room.
“Really? How is this not what I think it is when I hear you telling Aphrodite that you’ve been spying on me!” I didn’t think. I reacted. Fisting my hand around the burning Seer Stone, I lifted my other hand and thought about how badly I wanted to knock Shaylin on her butt.
A ball of blue fire burst from my hand, knocking Shaylin off her feet. She landed on her back, out of breath, gasping and crying.
I didn’t care about her bawling. It felt good to put her on her butt. Shaylin deserved it.
“Stop it. Now!” Aphrodite stepped in front of me.
I narrowed my eyes. “You were talking about me behind my back!”
“And I’ll tell you why in a second. First, you need to check yourself. Get control of whatever crazy bullshit you’ve got going on and calm it down, right now.” She glanced over her shoulder at Shaylin. “You go back to the basement, right now.”
Still crying, Shaylin scrambled to her feet and ran past me.
“So, what is she, your own little private Prophetess?”
Instead of answering me, Aphrodite watched Shaylin go, and then she planted her hands on her hips and faced me. “Seriously? You’re trying to talk shit to me after you used that fucking stone to hurt Shaylin? You have lost your damn mind.”
“Stone?” I blinked at her, and then looked down at my chest, realizing I had been holding the Seer Stone so tightly that it had pressed painfully into my palm. As soon as I felt the pain the stone went cold. I dropped it. Feeling disoriented, I tried to keep my focus on what had pissed me off—Shaylin spying on Aurox and me. “I’m not talking about the stone, and I’m not talking shit. I want to know what the hell you think you’re doing having me followed around.”
“I had a vision. It was from your point of view. You were doing some of what Shaylin saw you doing with Aurox.”
“When did you have this vision?”
“A couple of days ago. That doesn’t matter. What’s important is—”
“It doesn’t matter that you kept a vision about me from me for days?”
“No, what’s important is why. Why is because I also saw you losing your fucking temper and not able to control that fucking stone. Which is exactly what just happened.”
“No, that’s not what just happened. I controlled the fucking stone. I wanted to knock Shaylin on her butt, and it did exactly what I wanted.”
Aphrodite shook her head back and forth. “Are you even listening to yourself? Yeah, you should be pissed about what you overheard. But Normal Zoey would never have wanted to hurt Shaylin. And, by the way, Normal Zoey wouldn’t have said ‘fucking,’ either.”
“Normal Zoey wouldn’t have thought one of her best friends was talking behind her back and having her spied on!”
“I was going to tell you about the vision. I was going to tell you about Shaylin. I just needed to wait until the right time,” Aphrodite said.
“You know what, Aphrodite? The right time wasn’t after you talked about me and spied on me. Oh, to hell with this. I’m out of here.” I started to walk away from her, but Aphrodite stepped in front of me again.
“Z, there’s more going on here than just you being pissed at me. I think Old Magick is affecting you, and not in a good way. We need to talk about this. You have to let me tell you about the rest of my vision.”
“I am so damn sick of hearing about what I have to do. Back off, Aphrodite.” My chest was blazing when I pushed past her. She stumbled away from me, making a shocked noise. I didn’t care. I’d had it with her.
I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew I had to go. If I’d had the keys to my Bug I would’ve driven to Grandma’s house, but my keys were up in my room and I didn’t want to see Stark right now and tell him why I was so upset. Hell, if it hadn’t been during the day, I would’ve already run into Stark, thanks to the stupid bond we shared.
I needed time. I needed space. I felt like anger was crawling under my skin. I couldn’t get away from it because I couldn’t get away from everyone pissing me off and telling me what to do. I needed to think without being pecked to death by ducks!
I changed direction, walking away from the dorms, until I came to the wall that enclosed the school. The wall Aurox patrolled. Damn! I didn’t want to see him, either.
That’s when I decided to hell with the cops and their house arrest crap. I hadn’t killed the mayor, and if I needed to go for a walk off campus, I was going to go for a walk off campus! I started jogging for the easternmost part of the wall, and the hidden door I knew was not far from there.
Shaylin
Shaylin tried to stop bawling. She wasn’t usually a crier. She was used to not feeling sorry for herself. But this was different. First there was the horrible thing that had happened with Dallas and the two fledglings. She’d known about it. Shaylin had seen their deaths in Thanatos’s colors. And she’d shut her mouth and believed Thanatos was doing the right thing.
Then Shaylin had done the exact opposite—she’d opened her mouth and blabbed Zoey’s personal business because she felt like she was doing the right thing. Well, Shaylin had also felt like she was fitting in at the House of Night and doing a good job using her gift.
But that couldn’t be true because she’d felt absolutely terrible after Dallas had been killed, and the most powerful fledgling in the world had just knocked her on her ass.
She’d totally messed up. Twice.
Shaylin curled up in the dark corner of the basement where she’d made a little pallet for herself. She sat with her legs pulled up and her pillow on her lap. She pressed her face into the soft pillowcase to muffle her sobs. She shouldn’t have bothered, though. Most red fledglings slept during the day like they were dead.
That’s what I should have been doing, too, she chided herself. I should have been sleeping and not talking to Aphrodite about Zoey. Now they’re mad at each other, and at me! I’m never going to figure out this Prophetess thing.
Shaylin didn’t think about the fact that Aphrodite had, apparently, been right about Zoey’s anger and control problem. At that moment Aphrodite being right didn’t matter to her. At that moment all that mattered was that it felt like her world—and her friends—were falling apart.
“Hey, Shaylin, what’s wrong?”
Stifling a sob, Shaylin looked up to see Nicole standing above her, rubbing her eyes and looking tousled, like she was sleepwalking.
“N-nothing. I—I’m f-fine,” she whispered, then wiped her face on the pillowcase and forced herself to stop crying.
Nicole sat beside her. “No, you’re not. You’re bawling your eyes out.”
“Shhh,” Shaylin hushed her, looking around to be sure everyone else was still sleeping. “I’m f-fine.
Nicole scooted over closer to her, so that their shoulders were touching, and whispered. “It’s okay. They won’t hear. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Shaylin wiped her eyes again, and then spoke softly. “I think I messed up using my Sight.”
“Hey, you’re good at using your Sight. You saw that I’d changed.” Nicole smiled at her. “You should have more confidence in yourself.”
“I should learn when to open my stupid mouth, and when to keep my stupid mouth shut,” Shaylin said. She fished around inside her purse and found a wadded-up tissue, and blew her nose.
“You’re not stupid.”
“If you had known Thanatos was going to tell Kalona to cut off Dallas’s head, would you have said something?”
Nicole grimaced. “You can’t ask me that. I’m not objective about Dallas.”
“Are you still in love with him?”
Nicole shook her head quickly. “No, that’s the point. I never really loved him, and I knew how dangerous he was. So I can’t be objective about his death.”
Listening to her, Shaylin hiccupped a little sob. Nicole put her arm around her.
“If you’re upset because of what happened to Dallas, don’t be.”
“It’s not just him, even though that was bad. I talked to Aphrodite about someone else’s colors, and I should have stayed out of it.”
“But Aphrodite’s a Prophetess, too. She’s kinda mean and crazy, but still, a Prophetess. I’m thinking it’s okay for one Prophetess to talk to another about stuff like your True Sight.”