by Violet Paige
“Yes.” I nodded. I had to settle one issue at a time. I pulled out my phone to text Greer.
Good date?
I sent the message. She would kill me if she knew I had reunited with my ex in the same way she and Preston must have last night.
The best.
“What did she say?” Vaughn tried to look at the screen.
“She stayed at Preston’s last night.”
Are you coming home soon?
Are you ok? I can if you need me.
I chewed on my lip. She had no idea how much I needed her to stay away.
No. I’m working on exams. Tell Pres I said hi.
See you maybe tomorrow.
I knew that bought us enough time to at least have a cup of coffee and go through this infamous list of questions Vaughn kept asking for.
I turned toward him.
“We’re set. We have some time. But I can’t promise she won’t be back tonight.”
“I understand.” He walked into the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot and filled it with water. “It’s not a problem.”
I didn’t know what that meant.
“What are you doing?” I asked, watching him comfortably move through the kitchen.
“Making you coffee. I think that was one of your stipulations.” He winked at me as he scooped the grounds into the filter.
None of this made sense. His cavalier attitude. His unstoppable sex appeal. My undying love for a man who had broken me in too many places to count.
I leaned against the bar. “I want to start asking questions now.”
“Go for it.” He pushed the red button on the machine.
I needed a damn notebook for this. I thought about the collection of notes Agent Kenneth had. Each time we met we covered a different topic. We had been talking for weeks. I was somehow supposed to put all of that into one conversation. And would it be enough? I didn’t know if Vaughn could answer all the questions I had. I expected them to be like an elixir full of healing serum.
“How do you know I’m not going to tell the bureau everything you tell me now?” It seemed to be the most critical aspect to his safety.
“Because I trust you.” He looked at me with a steady gaze.
I owed him the truth too. “I’ve already talked to them.” I didn’t expect to feel ashamed. I had betrayed our intimate conversations.
“It’s ok. I know. I know Agent Kenneth meets with you every day after work.”
My eyes widened. “How do you know that?”
“I haven’t been that far away.” He smiled sadly.
“You’ve been watching me?”
He nodded. “I wanted to know if you were ok. I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt, physically,” he added. “I wanted to be next to you. To help you, but it was too risky. Just know I left because I had to. Not because I wanted to.”
“How long? How long have you been shadowing me?”
“You make it sound like I was a damn stalker. I was watching out for you.”
I glared at him. “Answer it.”
“I knew about the New Bern trip. About your brother. And when you came back and they took you into custody. I’ve been around ever since. I turned down two jobs so I could stick around.”
The coffee pot chugged with steam. Vaughn pulled two cups from the cabinet and placed a mug in front of me. He searched the fridge for creamer and set it on the side. I kept my smile hidden. He knew exactly how I liked my coffee.
I stirred it into my coffee. He had been here. When I was hurting the most—he was here.
“Maybe we should start at the beginning instead of going backward,” I decided.
“Whatever you want to do.” He walked around the bar and sat on the barstool next to me. He looked incredibly sexy with the slight stubble on his chin.
“How did you get into this line of work?” I held the hot mug in my hands.
“Good question.” He paused to drink his coffee. “I mentioned I had a previous job. A dangerous one. I was an operative in a Special Forces unit for five years. I made a lot of contacts during my time in the military. When I resigned I was approached by one of those contacts to join a company. Let’s call it Blackwing.”
“And Blackwing, your company, this is what they do? Steal information?”
“I like to think of it as getting the information into the hands of people who can do something important with it. But I don’t get into the politics of it. That’s not what I’m paid for.”
“But you are paid?” I pressed. “I heard millions.”
Vaughn’s hand squeezed the inside of my thigh. I gasped. “You heard right.”
“If you already have millions of dollars, why keep doing it? Do you really need that much money?”
“You can never have too much money.”
“You like having all that money?”
He grinned wickedly. “I don’t think you realize what life is like as a millionaire. There’s nothing I can’t do. Nothing I can’t buy. Nowhere I can’t travel. I have complete control and freedom.”
I had to move on. I couldn’t get bogged down on one question. We could launch into ethical debates on everything I asked.
“Do you care what the information is? Do you choose your subjects?”
He shook his head. “No. I get a drop with the assignment. I do the research. I hand off the file. And they deposit money in my account. It’s pretty simple.”
“And this role you play. The women. Dating them until you get the target—do you enjoy it?” The words felt sticky coming off my tongue. It was one of the hardest parts of the story for me to digest.
“Sometimes.” His look pierced me.
“Did you love them?” My voice faltered. “Do you still love any of them?”
“Em, I’ve never fallen for any of them. It’s why I’m so good at what I do. It’s never happened.” He grinned. “Not until now. And damn it, if it hasn’t made everything in my life a fucking mess.” He laughed.
“You want me to take you for your word on that? I saw files of beautiful wealthy women you slept with and…”
“And nothing.” He gripped my wrists. “They were nothing. They were marks.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He pulled me off he stool, pinning my arms together. “I could have left whenever I wanted, but I didn’t. I could have convinced you to get Greer here much sooner. Weeks earlier. But I didn’t. I didn’t want the job to be over.” He kissed the side of my neck. “I never should have taken you to the winery.” He moved his lips to my throat. “I never should have helped you find that client.” He pushed the robe from my shoulder, so my breast was bare in front of him. “I never should have told you I loved you.” His eyes lit. “Once I was in, I was in too deep. So deep I forgot it was a job. That you were a target. That you weren’t the fucking reason I needed to live.”
I struggled to find a breath.
“You were some angel that saved me, Em. That gave me something I didn’t ask for. That held me and tied me to you when I needed to break free and run. But I couldn’t run from you. It was the only thing I couldn’t do.”
He let go of my wrists and tugged the robe to the floor. I stood naked in front of him. He lifted me in the air until I was resting on the counter. He pushed me against the cool surface, spreading my legs.
His tongue made a single stroke between my folds. A stroke of pure molten heat. I jerked, but he held my hips steady as he lapped over my clit. My orgasm climbed to the surface quickly. He twisted his tongue back and forth until it darted in and out of my entrance. I clenched and quivered. And then I felt the pad of his thumb against my backside. I tensed immediately.
“Trust me,” he whispered between my legs.
“Oh, Vaughn.”
I let go. I released my body to him. I gave in. His tongue plunged deep inside me as he worked his thumb with steady pumps until I felt so full, so whole.
The sparks flew in my core, zinging in erratic patterns. Until I was p
anting through my release.
“Come, baby,” he growled. He nipped at my clit and I screamed with the intensity of it all.
I burst into flames on the kitchen counter. My body wracked with sensation. His thumb seared into me, breaching a secret lair of sensation I didn’t know I enjoyed. Erotic fireworks shot through me the more he breached the forbidden zone.
He sucked eagerly as I spilled into him. My orgasm unleashed. My body glistening with sweat.
I sighed.
Vaughn kissed the inside of my thigh and helped me sit forward.
He looked up at me.
“Do you believe me now?”
I nodded. I put my hands around his neck as he picked me up from the counter. “Take me to bed.”
“Are we done with all the questions? Do you have everything you need to know?” His voice was low and breathy.
“I have more questions. Too many questions. But I need you to fuck me before I can think again.” I drew his lips to mine.
He stopped in the doorway.
“Three hours, Em. You have three hours to decide.”
I released his firm bottom lip from my teeth.
“Why three hours?” I searched his eyes.
“Because that’s when we have to fly to the Bahamas to make our connecting flight.”
“Three hours? But why?”
He nodded. “I’ll spend it how you want. I’ll answer a hundred more questions. I’ll fuck you until you beg me to stop. I’ll hold you while you sleep. Make you breakfast. Whatever you want. But know this... I don’t plan on leaving here without you.”
I swallowed. If he was going to leave and never come back, I had to have this. I had to have him. I needed to memorize what it felt like when our bodies moved together. What it was like when he was inside me. I didn’t know the last time I should have traced every line of his body. That I should have studied all the shades of brown his eyes could make. That when he left all I would have would be these memories.
“Please fuck me,” I whispered. I was going to live in this moment as long as I could.
“Always.”
He carried me to the bed and dropped me in the center. He crawled toward me like a hungry tiger. He shed his boxer briefs in the next stride.
“One taste of you isn’t enough.” He moved closer.
My heart rushed with electricity.
“I want more. So much more of you.”
He kissed my knee and pushed it to the sheet.
“You’re my siren. My drug.” He looked up at me through those long lashes. “My addiction.”
I ran my hands through his hair.
I hadn’t been able to drink him away. I hadn’t been able to erase him. Or forget him. My anger had turned to grief. I had felt rage and pity. Humiliation and disbelief. The last weeks of my life were a maze of alcohol and loneliness. I had held on to the belief that I wasn’t the con. The magic I felt was real. It was tangible and powerful. It wasn’t an illusion or a scam. Everything between Vaughn and me was the kind of fire people dreamed about. Wrote about. We had it. It was here in this bed.
And that’s when I realized I couldn’t let him leave. Ever.
Chapter Thirty
I watched Vaughn get dressed. I loved that he looked good wearing crisp white shirts or T-shirts. The idea slipped in that it helped him in his job. He was a chameleon.
I fluffed my wet hair with a towel. The shower had felt good.
“We need to go over the details,” he announced. He secured his belt.
“What details? Because I wanted to talk to you about what kind of counsel you should get. I think it’s best if we meet with someone before you turn yourself in.”
“Em, that’s not happening.”
I dropped the towel. “Of course it is. It’s the only way. You said you aren’t leaving without me. And I can’t pretend that it’s ok if you leave. This is the best option. I can use my connections at the law school. We’ll find an amazing attorney.”
“Just stop.” He held up his hand. “There is another way.”
He reached into his back pocket and handed me a passport.
I examined the cover and flipped it open.
“Holy shit. That’s me.” I looked at him. “Vanessa Thorne? What is this? Who did this? Is this real?”
“That is your new identity. I liked the name. I didn’t have a lot of options. You can’t be selective when it comes to creating a person who doesn’t exist.”
I dropped the document. “You bought a fake passport for me?”
“It’s more complicated than that, but yes. It’s a new identity. It’s not fake. Vanessa Thorne now exists. You look very real to me.”
I sat on the bed. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you would think this is even a possibility.” I traced the golden eagle on the front of the passport.
“It’s the reality of the situation. I told you I wasn’t leaving without you. How else did you think we’d leave the country together?”
My mouth hung open. “We aren’t supposed to leave the country. We’re supposed to use the law to get you out of this. We come up with a plea deal. I can talk to Agent Kenneth. We’ll trade evidence and information.”
“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.”
I blinked. “This isn’t possible. I can’t run.”
He took my hands in his. “You won’t be running. You’ll be living.”
“I don’t know enough. I don’t know how this works.” My eyes lifted to his. “I suppose you have a new name too?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t yet decided on this trip. I thought I’d let you choose for me. It seemed fair since I picked Vanessa.”
“I don’t know who you are,” I whispered.
“You do know me. You know who I am. Look at me, Em.”
I met his gaze.
“Do you trust me?”
God, I knew I should say no. That I didn’t trust anything about him. He was a liar and a criminal. He had evaded authorities and betrayed his country. But I did know him. I knew his soul and he knew mine.
“I don’t know how to call you another name. To switch back and forth like this.”
“Then don’t. I’m Vaughn. I’m yours. That’s all that matters.” He traced my lip with his thumb. “Just make sure not to use that one in public.”
“Oh God,” I uttered.
“It will be easier than you think. You’ll get used to it.”
“But what about my life?” I looked around my tiny room. It was dawning on me what all of this meant. There was more at stake than slipping up on false names.
“You can visit it sometime.”
“It’s almost Thanksgiving. My mom will freak out.” I was grasping at the most insignificant details.
“Moms do that anyway.”
“And my job? The students? My classes?” I gawked at him. “I have cases and clients who depend on me. And what about Greer? I just walk out on the lease and leave her with the apartment?”
He eyed me. “She has Preston.”
“I have a huge case. With Lana. You met her. She’s counting on me to help her.”
He brushed my hair away from my face. “She will be in good hands. I admit, not as good as if you were her attorney, but still she will be taken care of. They all will. You have to put yourself first for a change.”
“And I should just walk away from the faculty position? Abandon my mentees?”
He smiled. “Let Addie have it.”
It was a long shot I’d get the position anyway. I had made certain of that with my last meeting with Max.
“Garrett?” I looked at him. “Oh God, he would think I abandoned him again.”
“I thought he was in a good place right now. I think he would want you to do something good for yourself.”
This was insane. The actual definition of insanity lay in the fake passport I held in my palm. I wasn’t this person.
“I’m not a criminal, Vaughn. I protect the good. I go
after the bad guys. That’s why I’m an attorney. That’s why I put in so many hours at the clinic. It’s why I moved to D.C. It’s why I’m at American. I’m not a thief. I’ve never committed a crime—ever.” I felt the panic boiling just under my skin. I didn’t know if I could breathe. “What you’re asking is … crazy. It’s impossible. It’s … it’s … is it treason? Am I a traitor too?” My eyes were frenzied.
“Hold on. Hold on.” He gripped my shoulders. “Drink this.” He put a glass of water in my hand. “Take some breaths. We can slow this down a second.”
I did as he told me.
“Better?” he asked.
“Yes.” My pulse was under control. I felt less likely to faint. The cold water and deep breaths seem to steady me enough.
“Ok. Listen to me. I’m not offering you a job at Blackwing. That’s not what I do. I’m not asking you to be a thief, as you so kindly call me. And, yes I am asking you to leave your D.C. life, but I’m offering you a new one. One that I’m in. You will get to see your family again. You will get to go home. But I don’t know when. What I know is that we’ll be together. And as far as I’m concerned that’s the only fucking thing that matters. Do you get that? It’s all that matters.”
Could I do this? Could I give up my life? Was there a side of me that Vaughn saw that I couldn’t see? Did he truly believe I could create a new identity? I had to find the answers because the alternative was to go back to the darkness. To live in pain without him. To forever know that I turned him away. That I made the choice to end our story.
“I can’t un-love you,” I answered.
“Neither can I.”
I took an expansive breath. “And if I don’t accept your offer?” I searched his eyes.
“I won’t ask a second time.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Thanksgiving had never been my favorite holiday. It always felt as if it were an exaggerated Sunday. Too much football. Everything in the South was closed. It was a day my parents were forced to stay in the house together and celebrate the family they had created. My grandparents would drive over for the day.