by Kat Shepherd
“Oh, okay,” Tanya said. “We can do that instead.”
“No,” Kira repeated. “I don’t want you to come with me. I want to play by myself.”
Tanya wasn’t sure what to do. Kira was her responsibility, and Tanya was here to keep the little girl company. But Kira was clearly going through a lot, and maybe she needed some time alone. “How about if I finish setting up the experiment, and then I’ll come get you when it’s ready. Sound good?”
“Sure, I guess,” Kira said, already leaving the room. “I don’t really care.” Tanya heard her footsteps shuffling up the stairs. She put soap on a scrub brush and raked it across the wooden cutting board. She had put a lot of time into planning a fun day for Kira, and she had even spent her own money on some of the supplies. It felt silly to set everything up if Kira wasn’t even interested. Tanya put the cutting board in the drying rack. Even if she doesn’t like it, I still think it’s a cool project. Kira’s moods seemed to shift so quickly. Maybe the little girl would come around again, just like she had the last time Tanya was here.
Tanya found some small juice glasses and poured a bit of lemon juice into one and white vinegar into another. She mixed baking soda and water in a third glass and left a few empty on the counter. When the timer went off, she carefully separated the cabbage from the water, which was now a deep purple color. She poured the purple water into a bowl and left it on the counter to cool. It was time to check on Kira.
Tanya walked up the steps slowly, planning out what she would do if Kira refused to come downstairs. What were you supposed to do if the kid you were hired to babysit wouldn’t let you babysit them? There was nothing wrong with Kira playing alone upstairs, but it wasn’t really the reason Mrs. Fogelman had brought Tanya over.
When she got to the top of the stairs, Tanya headed straight for Kira’s room, expecting to see the little girl with her nose buried in her device, playing a game or watching something she had downloaded back in California. But Kira’s room was empty, and her screen was thrown carelessly on a rattan chair in the corner of the room.
Tanya picked it up. The battery was almost dead. “Kira?” Tanya called. “Do you want to charge your device before you come downstairs?” There was no answer. Tanya tapped on the closed door of the en suite bathroom. “Kira?” she called again. She didn’t hear a reply, so Tanya opened the door a few inches. “Are you in there?” The bathroom was dark. She flipped on the light. The room was empty. Where could she be?
Tanya went back into the hallway. All the doors along it were closed. Could she have gone into her great-aunt’s bedroom? Mrs. Fogelman had never explicitly said that the girls weren’t allowed in her room, but Tanya wouldn’t feel comfortable letting Kira play in there without asking her great-aunt first. Tanya opened the door. “Kira?” Tanya took in a carved rosewood bed and magenta walls covered in bold, abstract paintings before closing the door again and moving on.
Finally, after checking a small office and another bathroom, Tanya’s steps slowed and she felt her chest tighten as she came to the last door. The doll room. She paused before touching the knob. Kira obviously wouldn’t be in there; she said she didn’t like dolls. No need to open the door and see all those glassy eyes staring back at her. Just turn around, she told herself. Turn around and walk back downstairs. She’ll come out when she’s ready.
Tanya gritted her teeth and forced herself to turn the knob. She wasn’t going to let a ridiculous, irrational fear get in the way of doing her job. If you’re so brave, then why aren’t you going inside? she asked herself. “Good point,” she said out loud, and pushed it open.
Day was waning outside, and the room was mostly in shadow. Tanya flicked on the light and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw movement at the little table in the corner. She relaxed. It was only Kira.
“Why are you bothering me?” Kira’s voice was sullen. “I’m busy.”
“I can see that. What are you doing?” Tanya asked.
“Playing,” Kira said. She turned her back to Tanya and picked up a small hairbrush from the table next to her.
“Oh.” Tanya blinked. “I thought you didn’t like dolls.”
“Auntie Dot gave one to me. She says she’s special.”
“Wow. That’s nice of her. Do you want to bring your new doll downstairs with you? Maybe she can help us with our experiment.” Tanya hoped the girl would refuse. She was already unsettled by Kira’s mercurial moods. Having some creepy doll hanging around would just put Tanya even more on edge.
“That’s okay,” Kira said. She put the hairbrush down. “I’m finished playing with her today.”
“Good,” Tanya answered, her voice sagging with relief. She shifted nervously. “I mean, I’m glad you had fun.” She put her hands in her pockets. “So what did you play?”
“I held her and brushed her hair and fed her,” Kira said proudly.
“That’s great,” Tanya said faintly.
“She was Auntie Dot’s doll when she was a little girl, and before that she belonged to Auntie Dot’s auntie, and before that she belonged to that auntie’s auntie.”
“Neat,” Tanya said. Kira still wasn’t turning around, and Tanya felt dizzy when she took in all the cold, waxy faces around her. Her legs felt weak, and she worked hard to focus just on the back of the little girl’s head. “What’s your doll’s name?”
“Mary Rose,” Kira said, and Tanya thought her legs would buckle under her. She gripped the doorjamb tightly. It had to be a coincidence. It had to be.
“Cool. So, uh, you ready to go downstairs, then?” Tanya backed away from the doorway so that she was all the way into the hall. The world around her seemed to contract to a tiny pinpoint, and she could hear the pounding of her heart.
“Your voice sounds weird. Are you okay?” Kira asked. She stood up and turned around, cradling the doll lovingly in her arms.
“I’m totally fine,” Tanya answered, struggling to control the tremble in her voice. “I’m just excited to get back downstairs to our experiment.” But it was fear and not excitement that gripped her.
The doll that Kira held was the same doll from Tanya’s dream.
CHAPTER
6
KIRA LAID THE doll on the brass daybed and tucked a small quilted blanket around it. She kissed its forehead. “Good night, Mary Rose,” Kira whispered. Tanya grimaced when she realized she was holding her breath; some part of her had actually expected Mary Rose to whisper back. Kira squirmed past, and Tanya closed the door firmly behind them. “Are you sick?” Kira asked. “You look like my mom does right before she throws up.”
Tanya gave a wan smile. “It’s nothing. I think I’m just a little tired.” She pushed Mary Rose from her mind. It was a weird coincidence that she looked just like the doll in Tanya’s dream, but a coincidence was all it was. Wasn’t it? Let it go. Bad dreams don’t come to life, Tanya told herself. That’s not how the world works. This isn’t one of Maggie’s movies.
The sense of dread that had gripped her seemed to fade more and more as they got farther and farther from the doll room. See? Tanya thought. You’re fine. You were panicking over nothing. Kira’s mood had lightened, too, and she was already asking questions about the experiment on the way down the stairs. She slipped her hand in Tanya’s, and Tanya felt a warm little glow in her heart. She tried not to show it, though. Something about Kira reminded Tanya of a wild bird, skittish and quick to retreat if she thought you were getting too comfortable.
Back in the kitchen, Tanya explained what acids and bases were, and she showed Kira how the cabbage water could change colors depending on what it was mixed with. The little girl poured some of the purple water into a glass with the vinegar, turning the mixture a brilliant pink. “This is my favorite color,” she gushed.
“That’s my friend Maggie’s favorite color, too,” Tanya said.
“Does she live here?” Kira asked.
Tanya poured some of the baking soda mixture into the bright pink glass. It bubbled a bit
before turning the mixture purple again. “Yep. We’ve been friends since preschool.”
Kira added in more of the baking soda mixture, turning the contents of the glass a deep forest green. She seemed to wilt a bit. “I miss my friends.”
“I bet they miss you, too,” Tanya said. She imagined that Kira must be awfully lonely at Mrs. Fogelman’s house, with her great-aunt so distracted and nobody else to talk to. “Are you making any new friends at your school up here?”
Kira shook her head. “I’m not going to school up here. Since it’s only for a few weeks, my school back home sends me packets of work to do, and Auntie Dot sends them back when I’m done.”
“Got it,” Tanya said. She watched Kira’s face, worried that talk of her friends back home would put her into one of her unhappy moods again. Maybe she should change the subject. “So, are you ready to start cleaning up?” Kira nodded, and Tanya helped her pour the mixtures down the sink. “Maybe I could invite Maggie to come over with me sometime, if your great-aunt says it’s all right. We could have a little party.”
“Okay,” Kira said. “And maybe you and Maggie can bring your dolls over, too, and we can play with them upstairs.”
Tanya’s hands trembled as she poured the last of the cabbage water down the sink. “Sure. But I thought you didn’t like the doll room.”
Kira scraped the limp cabbage leaves into the compost bin under the sink. “I didn’t at first, but now I do. Mary Rose makes it fun.”
Tanya didn’t say anything as she put the other ingredients back into her bag. She still couldn’t quite let herself believe that Kira’s new favorite toy was the same doll from her nightmares. How was something like that even possible? It couldn’t be. Maybe Tanya’s dream had come from seeing the doll in a picture somewhere without remembering it, or maybe Mrs. Fogelman had talked about it with Tanya’s parents sometime, and Tanya had half overheard.
Kira was a lonely little kid, and her great-aunt had given her a special toy to keep her company. There was no way Tanya was going to let her own unfounded fears ruin that. After all, she was a scientist, wasn’t she? There was obviously a logical explanation, and if she didn’t know what it was, then it was her job to find out.
* * *
The next morning at school, Tanya zipped up her canvas backpack and straightened an enamel robot pin that had come loose from where she had attached it to the front pocket. Her eyes were puffy, and she stifled another yawn. She had had the nightmare again last night, exactly the same as the other dreams, and she had been too afraid to go back to sleep. Instead, she had read Ethan’s book and studied the shards again, hoping to uncover something new, but neither elicited anything they could use against the Night Queen.
She looked over at the others, wondering if she should tell them about her fear. Rebecca crouched next to her, tying the laces of her retro Adidas high-tops. Clio checked her locker mirror and put on a light coat of coral-tinted lip balm. Maybe instead of telling them outright, Tanya could just bring the subject up hypothetically, act like it was just an idea she had thought of. That was probably better than saying, Hey, by the way, this doesn’t make any sense, but I dreamed about an evil doll and now I think that doll is in the house where I’m babysitting. After all, it’s not like anything had actually happened. She would just mention it casually. No specifics.
Tanya had just opened her mouth to speak when Maggie careened down the hall, nearly colliding with Rebecca when she reached the lockers. “I lost my phone. Am I late?”
Rebecca checked her watch. “Nope, we still have at least seven minutes.” Tanya did the mental calculations. It would be weird to bring anything up right before everyone had to rush off to class, but seven minutes would be enough time to make it sound like she was asking an idle question, just one of the many bizarre things they were always talking about.
She shoved her hands in the pockets of her faded black jeans and leaned against her locker, hoping to look casual. “So I was doing some research last night, and—” she tried to make her voice sound light and carefree, as though she had just thought of something.
Maggie tapped Tanya’s arm. “Hey, T, can you move? You’re blocking my locker.”
“Oh, sorry.” Tanya scooted aside. “So, anyway, I was wondering … do you think—”
“Oh, hey, Ethan.” Rebecca waved as Ethan sidled up in a moss-green plaid flannel and jeans. “Good shirt; it makes your eyes look really blue.”
“Thanks,” Ethan said. He peeked under his lashes at Clio, who was suddenly very busy organizing her backpack. “Hi, Clio.”
“Oh, hi!” Clio said, as though she hadn’t been periodically checking the hall for him since the girls had arrived this morning. She picked a tiny piece of lint off the orange tights she wore under a vintage bell-sleeve trapeze dress. “Did you find that other source you needed for your history project last night?”
Ethan grinned and nodded. “It definitely helps having a mom who’s the Piper reference librarian.”
“Speaking of last night—” Tanya tried again.
Maggie wailed, “Oh, not again!”
“What happened?” Clio asked.
“I left my English essay at home!” Maggie let out a frustrated growl. “Seriously! Why do teachers insist on torturing us with stupid homework to ruin our lives?”
Rebecca slipped her backpack onto her shoulders. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe teach us valuable skills like organization, planning, and time management?” She laughed and danced away as Maggie swatted at her.
Tanya watched her friends, feeling strangely invisible. Sure, it was right before class when everyone was busy and distracted, but what she had to say was important, too, wasn’t it? But if it was really that important, wouldn’t you have told them last night instead of trying to bring it up in casual conversation? Tanya shoved her hands deeper in her pockets and slouched down the hall after the others. The truth is, she didn’t know what the doll dreams meant. She only knew that for the first time in her life, she felt truly afraid.
CHAPTER
7
TANYA FELT A tiny sliver of anxiety as she rang the bell at Mrs. Fogelman’s that afternoon. Would it be the sunshiny, happy Kira today, or the sullen, angry Kira who wanted nothing to do with her? She held her breath as the door opened, and when it was Mrs. Fogelman who answered, Tanya had a feeling that this wouldn’t be a great babysitting day.
“Oh, Tanya, I almost forgot you were coming today,” Mrs. Fogelman said.
Tanya wasn’t quite sure how to answer that. “Um, okay, well, I’m here.” She gave what she hoped was a warm smile and waited to be invited in. But Mrs. Fogelman just stood there, staring at her like she couldn’t quite understand what the babysitter was still doing on her front porch. Tanya cleared her throat. “So, is Kira upstairs?” She peered past the older woman’s shoulder into the house, hoping that would encourage her to move things along.
Mrs. Fogelman shook her head like she was clearing away cobwebs. “Yes. Right. We had lunch together in the sunroom around noon, and then she headed upstairs to play for a while.” She squinted up at the gray sky. “What time is it now?”
“It’s three thirty,” Tanya said patiently. “The time you asked me to come.”
“Three thirty already? My, the time does fly, doesn’t it?” Bracelets rattling, she finally ushered Tanya inside. “Well, come along in and make yourself at home. You know where everything is, don’t you?” Without waiting for an answer, Mrs. Fogelman drifted toward the back door. “I’ll be in my studio.” The back door was already closing behind her. “My masterpiece awaits!” she called over her shoulder.
Tanya stood alone in the silent house, staring after Mrs. Fogelman. “Okay, then,” she said to the empty room. She put her bag down on the floor. “Time to get upstairs and find Kira.” Her feet didn’t move. She knew where she would find Kira. “I’ll go get her in a second,” she said quietly. “But maybe I’ll set up in the kitchen first.” Tanya picked up her bag and carried it to the ba
ck of the house. She had no idea why she was talking out loud to herself, but something about hearing her own ordinary, matter-of-fact voice brought a feeling of normalcy to the tense, anxious silence that hung in the air.
Tanya had brought one of her old science kits she had gotten for Christmas a few years back. It was a circuitry set, and she knew Kira would be excited to figure out how to clip the wires together to turn on the kit’s tiny lightbulb. But when she went to unpack her bag on the counter, Tanya was surprised to discover that the kitchen was a mess. Mrs. Fogelman usually kept everything tidy and put away, but today the dirty lunch dishes were piled up in the sink, and several of the cabinet doors were open. Tanya guessed they had made hamburgers for lunch, because an empty Styrofoam tray sat in a sticky ring of dried meat juice near the dish rack. Her lip curled as she peeled it from the counter and dumped it in the recycling bin. She could still smell the blood that was congealing in the tray’s corner. How anyone would want to eat something like that was beyond her.
Tanya took her time loading the dishwasher and wiping everything clean before setting up the kit. Kira and I need a clean workspace for the project, so I may as well get it ready before she comes down, she told herself, scrubbing extra hard at a stubborn bit of dried ketchup on the counter. That’s why I’m doing it now. It’s not because I’m afraid to go upstairs. She noticed the darkening sky outside, and she picked up her pace. January in Oregon meant the sun set before five, and Tanya felt a sudden sense of urgency. She didn’t like thinking of Kira alone up in the doll room after dark.
That’s ridiculous, Tanya thought. A room is a room whether it’s day or night. Nevertheless, she hurried upstairs, flipping on lights as she went. Her legs felt heavier the closer she got to the doll room, but she ignored the feeling. “It’s no big deal, Tanya,” she whispered to herself. “So you’re gonna see a bunch of spooky, gross dolls, and then you’re gonna go back downstairs. That’s it. Nothing to freak out about. Dolls. Can’t. Do. Anything.”